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CZ Design

March 18, 2007

Who’s better than me today?

I’d really planned to write something special on the topic that I’m about to write about. Really. I’ve been thinking, and coming up with really clever analogies and angles for the past month in anticipation. (And Mom, you might want to stop reading now, because I don’t want you to be upset and think, “What the hell?” because right now, my inner 16-year-old is a bit squirmy and about to get a major ass-kicking without actually the physical part of the ass-kicking…) But…my goal in re-launching my blog was to be more honest with my words and thoughts. To censor less, and stand on the two legs of personal truth. No more hopping around.

It’s like this:
if you call people out who post mean things anonymously (which really hasn’t happened much to me, thank God, because let me just say, I’m no Heather Armstrong when it comes to hate mail, God bless that woman’s ability to turn it around into sublime hilarity) and then you back off of things you feel that you yourself are side-stepping, well…that’s just wrong. That’s not living with integrity, and it’s simply not using your voice.

In fact, someone posted a while back, that even though she enjoyed reading my blog, that something seemed to have changed. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but she said my tone was different. And it actually made me feel really good. Because I’m trying to be more me, and less, as Donna Downey might call it, “Scrapbook Cathy.” Because while I think that Scrapbook Cathy is really nice and all…she’s not really 100 percent me. I mean, she doesn’t talk like a sailor, you know? And in all honesty, I do. But that’s not my point here…

And Mom, don’t panic. My point today, this day, March 18th, is not earth shattering. Seriously. But I’d really planned to write something special. On this occasion. This anniversary.

Last night, at 10 p.m., marked one year since I smoked my last cigarette.

I wanted to write a very deep and insightful essay on how kicking the habit of smoking is the single hardest thing a person living on this planet can do, if that person is, in fact, an addict. Like me. I wanted to dispel myths about the type of people that smokers are. You know…we all don’t live in trailers. And I’m not saying trailers are bad. I grew up with trailers more or less in my back yard. I wanted to write that people think it’s such a ridiculous habit, and the whole, well you better not smoke mentality is so completely off the mark because you’re not actually dealing with a choice. You’re dealing with an addiction that takes your perceived choice and smashes it out like so many butts on your back porch ashtray. I wanted to give the addiction some credit, you know, where credit is seriously due. I wanted to remind people I never smoked around my kids. That I hid in the garage. And the porch. And tried really hard to hide it from pretty much everyone I knew because I was drowning in a world of shame. I wanted to tell all of those people I was trying to fool that I’m sorry I didn’t give you credit, and that likely, you all knew anyway.

And I wanted to say that if you told me I was going to make it to 90 and be hit by a bus, and not die from smoking-related illnesses…that I would start back up at the end of this blog post. And that that is what addiction, for me, is really about: love. Pure, unadulterated, sick and twisted, love.

Oh hell. I guess what I really wanted people to understand where all the new chub was coming from.

But instead, I’m going to just say this: I’ve been smoke-free for 365 days and counting.

It’s not the first time. But I’m really hoping it’s the permanent kind.

So, Mom…I’m not a bad person because I smoked for so long…just an addict. That’s who I’ve always been.

An addict who now, and for the past 365 days and counting, smells a lot better.

Love, Cathy

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Comments

  1. Robyn says

    March 18, 2007 at 11:46 am

    Cathy,
    What a great accomplishment. You should be so absolutely proud of yourself. I remember when my mother quit. Hers was for medical reasons. She made up her mind and did it. It was hard but she made it look easy. My husband on the other hand has tried for years to quit. It is such a hard thing to do. He just keeps on trying. We keep on praying for him.
    Happy celebrating to you.
    Robyn

    Reply
  2. Alison Love says

    March 18, 2007 at 11:50 am

    Congratulations! That is such a huge step in every way. Not just kicking the habit, but knowing yourself fully and quelling the inner-addict beast thingy. I don’t know that any of us can really conquer ourselves. The minute we say that we have, we find ourselves dumped off whatever wagon it was we had been sitting on. We just work one day at a time to be the person we want to be, and we work at being honest about it. Good job!

    Reply
  3. Laurie says

    March 18, 2007 at 11:51 am

    Congratulations to you. You should be very proud of yourself ! All the best
    Laurie (in IL)

    Reply
  4. Kristi Craker says

    March 18, 2007 at 11:53 am

    As a person with an addictive personality myself, I can understand your need to acknowledge your milestone. You explained it perfectly, love, pure, sick, twisted, love. So, Yay you!! It’s one day at a time…and counting.

    Reply
  5. Jenn says

    March 18, 2007 at 12:03 pm

    Congrats, Cathy. Quitting is so much more than just giving up smoking. It’s giving up the shame and guilt associated with it as well. You’ve done it, girl! And…for what it’s worth…I like Scrapbook Cathy, but I love “100 percent Cathy,” because she’s more like “100 percent” me: former-smoker, talks-like-a-sailor-sometimes, loves music-that-is-largely-inappropriate-for-a-mommy me. Rock on, Cathy Z.

    Reply
  6. Dedra says

    March 18, 2007 at 12:17 pm

    It’s a mean monkey..congrats on a year..here’s to another one.

    Reply
  7. Jennifer says

    March 18, 2007 at 12:22 pm

    yeah, Cathy! love the description of your love for cig’s..pure, unadulterated, dark and twisty love.
    While I enjoy the “Scrapbook Cathy”, I have such the biggest girl crush on the 100% Cathy!

    Reply
  8. Lynne says

    March 18, 2007 at 12:27 pm

    You go, girl!

    Reply
  9. Melody Brown, Cape Town says

    March 18, 2007 at 12:38 pm

    yip. uncensor yourself. just cos you scrap occasionally doesnt mean you have to stereotype yourself…..strangely enough, scrapping taught me that, showed me so much about myself. must confess when I see layout after layout of all the bubblegum lovey stuff in peoples lives I sometimes wander if I am the only stressed out, fishwife mother who wallows in self pity from time to time! i have also become addicted to dooce after following the link from your site some months ago. she is an anomalie. love her.

    Reply
  10. Sharon says

    March 18, 2007 at 12:51 pm

    Congrats!

    I’ve never smoked (both parents did) but I have this 2 tons of extra weight dragging me down instead.

    Reply
  11. Linda says

    March 18, 2007 at 12:53 pm

    Cathy, I am so glad you started your blog up again, and yes, I’ve noticed a change in your blogs too. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR HUGE MILESTONE ANNIVERSARY! My best friend smoked a LOT for many years, and she quit 9 years ago. It was the single-hardest thing she’s ever done in her life, and I am proud of her to this day. I know you have friends and family who have been cheering you on; and since you’ve made it this far, I know you will be successful. Hang in there!

    Reply
  12. Tanya Summers says

    March 18, 2007 at 12:58 pm

    So proud of you – congrats! Keep it up. We enjoy your stuff here – getting to know you (the real you), seeing your projects, and enjoying your sense of humor. Hang in there; I know it is a tough road.

    ~Tanya

    Reply
  13. Leah says

    March 18, 2007 at 12:59 pm

    I know tons of people who have smoked and tried to quit, some of whom succeeded. None of them ever said, “Whoa, that was super easy!” Don’t beat yourself up too much. You are doing great!

    Reply
  14. Jaymie says

    March 18, 2007 at 1:04 pm

    congratulations! that is a MAJOR milestone and you should be very proud of yourself! Here is to 18,250+ more smoke-free days!

    Reply
  15. Jen Donnelly says

    March 18, 2007 at 1:13 pm

    Congratulations… 365 is a lot of days. Here’s hoping each additional day gets a little bit easier!

    Reply
  16. Patti says

    March 18, 2007 at 1:14 pm

    I quit too-it’s all good-we can be *chubby* together…

    Reply
  17. Hillary Chybinski says

    March 18, 2007 at 1:32 pm

    you go girl!!

    Hillary

    Reply
  18. Sara says

    March 18, 2007 at 1:36 pm

    The “everything is perfect about my life and my family” part of the scrapbooking culture gets under my skin from time to time. A dose of honesty hits the spot. Thanks and congrats!

    Reply
  19. Ann says

    March 18, 2007 at 1:44 pm

    Never smoked myself, but my husband did. He hasn’t smoked in around 22 years, but still feels the craving at times of stress. I believe smoking is the single most difficult addiction to deal with. Congratulations on your accomplishment. And by the way, I appreicate your honesty.

    Ann

    Reply
  20. kate carpenter says

    March 18, 2007 at 1:50 pm

    Congratulations on a year!
    And, by the way, I love reading your blog because you DON’T sound like “scrapbook Cathy.”

    Reply
  21. Erin says

    March 18, 2007 at 1:55 pm

    Just wanted to say congratulations and good luck!

    Reply
  22. Katy says

    March 18, 2007 at 1:58 pm

    Way to go. I’m very proud of you. Even though you don’t know me and we’ll probably never meet, but still, I understand EXACTLY waht you are talking about. AND THAT makes me all the more proud that you have been smoke free for 365 days. That is awesome.

    Reply
  23. Jennie says

    March 18, 2007 at 2:35 pm

    Congrats on being smoke-free for one year! Keep it up!
    Jennie

    Reply
  24. Tschoe says

    March 18, 2007 at 2:48 pm

    Congrats Cathy.. it means something to be a person of ingretiy ( even though I can’t spell it without spellchecker) There arent many of them around anymore….
    People of ingretiy can have addictions, it takes a bigger person to kick it! 😉 You go girl!!!

    Reply
  25. Kim B. says

    March 18, 2007 at 2:52 pm

    You go girl!!!

    Reply
  26. Melissa says

    March 18, 2007 at 2:59 pm

    Congratulations Cathy! I can only imagine how hard it is. I watched my dad waste away after being diagnosed with stage III lung cancer in Oct. 2005. He died Feb. 9, 2006. And I curse the cigarettes everyday. Unfortunately, my mother, although she took care of him at the end, still can’t give it up. That’s addiction. Never having smoked, I can’t understand it. I can only hope for her. Way to go! I’ve seen how hard it is.

    Reply
  27. Tracy says

    March 18, 2007 at 3:08 pm

    WooHoo!!!!!!!!!
    Congrats on your one year anniversary! You should be so proud of yourself, girlfriend! Think of how much healthier you are now! Proud of ya! Tracy

    Reply
  28. elisa says

    March 18, 2007 at 3:18 pm

    I think I am going to blame the 20 that I have put on over the last year on the fact that you quit smoking. Seems like a good excuse and for the life of me I can’t come up with a better one.

    YOU ROCK!

    Reply
  29. Melissa says

    March 18, 2007 at 3:21 pm

    That is so awesome! And I know exactly where you’re coming from. I smoked for 10 years and quit with my first pregnancy 7 years ago. I remember people always commenting to me “you don’t LOOK like a smoker”. And for me, it really had gone from the teenager that started out thinking it was cool to doing it because I HAD to. I really hated it in the end. But I had promised myself that I would quit as soon as I got pregnant. I felt like I had no right to do that to my baby and I knew it was the perfect reason. Now I know it’s one of the best things I ever did. Not to say that when I’m out, every once in a while, that I don’t crave it for about half a second when I smell it. But I know that I would never be able to take just one hit because it’d be all over!
    So you go, CZ! It’s quite an accomplishment!

    Reply
  30. Barb says

    March 18, 2007 at 3:23 pm

    Huge congratulations, Cathy for not only quitting the butts for a year but for coming back as your uncensored self. Thank goodness I’m not a smoker because I’ve seen how ridiculously hard it is for people to quit. My father in law has lung cancer and emphysema and my mother in law still refuses to try to quit. Sigh. I wish she would, but I see her side too. Bravo to you, your pink lungs, and your candor. You rock!

    Reply
  31. Gina says

    March 18, 2007 at 3:29 pm

    Happy Birthday! You’re one. I know it’s been difficult because I’ve been there–a fairly closeted smoker for 15 years. And I know about those 20 extra lbs, too. But I love waking up in the morning and looking in the mirror and knowing that I’m truly being honest with the world. I’ve been smoke free since June 21, 2005. I hope it sticks this time, too, but I reserve the right to start again when I’m 80 if it’s legal and if I can afford it!

    Reply
  32. Jodie says

    March 18, 2007 at 3:33 pm

    Congratulations!!!
    I didn’t discover your old blog, but I love this one 🙂

    Reply
  33. Suzelle Kasaian says

    March 18, 2007 at 3:49 pm

    You should be really PROUD of yourself !!!!!!

    Reply
  34. stefanie says

    March 18, 2007 at 3:51 pm

    I love the way you “keep it real”.
    Rock on.

    Reply
  35. Wanda says

    March 18, 2007 at 3:57 pm

    I didn’t know about your old blog, but found you today, from Bek. Congratulations! My youngest daughter (36) will be smoke free 2 years Sept. 1, 2007. I love your honesty and will vist you often.

    Reply
  36. Wanda says

    March 18, 2007 at 3:59 pm

    I’m sorry, I just read my post and saw my error. My daughter WAS smoke free 2 years Sept l, 2006!! Big difference.

    Reply
  37. Laura Reaux says

    March 18, 2007 at 4:02 pm

    Pure honesty and 100% YOU… awesome. Congratulations on toughing out the past year! I don’t even know you and I’m proud of you!

    Reply
  38. Mel says

    March 18, 2007 at 4:12 pm

    WOW! Way to go girl. I will be smoke free for one year and 20 pounds heavier on May 30. They told me people only gain 6 or 7 pounds when they quit smoking. I am still trying to find one of those people. Thanks for not making me look bad.

    Reply
  39. Christiane says

    March 18, 2007 at 4:14 pm

    Congratulations, Cathy on one year without smoking. My mom smoked from when she was 24 until she was 53 and she was the classiest, cleanest woman you’ll ever meet :^)
    Congratulations on being real also. As one woman mentioned above, I also love art and scrapbooking, but the whole “Stepford Wives” vibe that comes with some scrapbookers REALLY makes me feel like an outsider. So I embrace my outsiderness (because I’m older now and don’t have time to waste on caring about it) and those who give me a chance are the kind of friends I want in my life because I’m never going to be the perfect wife/mother type.

    Reply
  40. Christiane says

    March 18, 2007 at 4:15 pm

    Congratulations, Cathy on one year without smoking. My mom smoked from when she was 24 until she was 53 and she was the classiest, cleanest woman you’ll ever meet :^)
    Congratulations on being real also. As one woman mentioned above, I also love art and scrapbooking, but the whole “Stepford Wives” vibe that comes with some scrapbookers REALLY makes me feel like an outsider. So I embrace my outsiderness (because I’m older now and don’t have time to waste on caring about it) and those who give me a chance are the kind of friends I want in my life because I’m never going to be the perfect wife/mother type.

    Reply
  41. Lori Hudson says

    March 18, 2007 at 4:17 pm

    Awesome!! I know that it is horrible to give up something you have relied on for so long. I have never smoked, but food is my best friend. It comforts me when I am down, calms me when I am stressed, parties with me when I am happy. Where you say smoked I can insert ate. I am in constant a struggle to control my weight. And as long as we are being honest, I will too. I purge (that is too nice a word – vomit) to control my addiction. I need to get me head right with food. Maybe I will be able to celebrate an anniversary one day.

    Reply
  42. Jennifer S. says

    March 18, 2007 at 4:29 pm

    Cathy,

    Congratulations on your past year being smoke-free. I lost my Dad two years ago in February to lung cancer and I’d give anything in the world to have him back, mostly for his grandchildren. So let me just say “thank you” from your future grandkids. 🙂

    Jennifer

    Reply
  43. Shawna says

    March 18, 2007 at 4:30 pm

    dang woman! you just wreack with truth! say it like it is and don’t be ashamed! you inspire for so many reasons…

    Reply
  44. Lisa Cohen says

    March 18, 2007 at 4:30 pm

    Congratulations on your one year! It’s truly an accomplishment!!

    Reply
  45. kate titcombe-hollis says

    March 18, 2007 at 4:36 pm

    I am six weeks and counting…This is my fourth attempt since October 2003 when my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer. But guess what! Yesterday I ran 25 minutes without stopping – now that’s gotta account for something!

    Reply
  46. Annette says

    March 18, 2007 at 4:40 pm

    You go girl!

    I’ve never posted before, but I just had to say that I love hearing the “real” you. Because the fact is, the world doesn’t have enough who are willing to be real, and able to be influential at the same time (not your goal, I know).

    I’m very much like you, and can relate to most everything you say. And yes, I quit smoking 6 years ago and still try to find an excuse to have a cigarette most everyday. I (almost always) talk myself out of it, and you will too.

    Congrats, best of luck and thanks for the real.

    Reply
  47. michelle delgado says

    March 18, 2007 at 4:43 pm

    I guess your “ass-kicking” was just what I needed today. Lost 50 lbs. Put back 15 have atleast 30 to go. I really don’t know why, well, I do- I emotionally eat and just need to get over it and do it-so as soon as I hit post, I am going to get my “arrrsss” up and take the dogs for a walk. It is a step in the right direction. I worked so hard to get where I was only to sabotage myself. Thanks for putting it all into perspective and for being you. We all love the “Scrapbook Cathy” but we really love the Cathy that helps us on a daily basis get through what we have in our lives. You gave up your butts…now it’s time to get rid of the extra accumulation on mine! Peace and thank you!

    Reply
  48. ElizabethW says

    March 18, 2007 at 5:06 pm

    So, so know what you’re talking about.

    Reply
  49. Ngaire Bartlam says

    March 18, 2007 at 5:25 pm

    Love that honesty Cathy!
    as a fellow addictive personality.. ( i bite my finernails.. to the point where I have none.).
    I relate.. and empathize.. and stand in awe at 365 days..
    which is 364 more than i have achieved with stopping my “bad habit”.
    be proud of you.

    cos i am!
    Ngaire
    xx

    Reply
  50. Krista says

    March 18, 2007 at 5:38 pm

    Cathy,
    Huge congrats to you for a year smoke-free. I’m sure it hasn’t been easy; hell, it’s probably been harder than I can ever know. But I applaud you for your strength and resolve and your fight with the addiction. Be the real you all of the time — it’s why we love about coming here to read your blog. You. The person inside with the wonderful sense of humor and the awesome taste in music. The person who seems to look at the world with the same sometimes-irreverent, always a wee bit twisted take that I seem to too. Be you. We love it.
    Krista

    Reply
  51. Loydene says

    March 18, 2007 at 5:45 pm

    Congratulations! You will always “fight” the addiction — after 19 years of not smoking, there are times when I think longingly of a “cigarette and a glass of scotch” as the appropriate response to a current irritation!
    And — glad to be meeting the “not Scrapbook Cathy”!
    Loydene

    Reply
  52. Deborah Hensley says

    March 18, 2007 at 5:50 pm

    You are amazing! Congrats on kicking the smoking habit, I’ve never been a smoker, but have heard it’s difficult to quit. Way to go! I have to say (again) I’m glad you’re blogging again, and I like that you are trying to be more honest instead of sensoring. You know if someone doesn’t like that, then maybe they shouldn’t read your blog, ya know? (duh!) I hope that if we ever cross paths that I won’t come across as a stalker.. really I’m not.. but I do enjoy reading your blog! =) (oh and reading stuff in SS and both your books too!)

    Reply
  53. Angela C-M says

    March 18, 2007 at 6:01 pm

    I could have written this post word for word. I smoked off and on since I was in high school. I am now currently “off” for about four weeks. I wish I could tell you it felt great to kick the habit – instead I am a little sad. It is a love, unfortunately. Good luck man.

    Reply
  54. Melissa P says

    March 18, 2007 at 6:12 pm

    You were not a bad person for smoking, but I’m happy you were able to quit 🙂

    This is my first comment since you started back to blogging, but I’ll add that I missed you. Real-life Cathy is one cool chick.

    Reply
  55. ~Kathryn~ says

    March 18, 2007 at 6:43 pm

    when i read the title – i thought ‘a quitnet woman’- congrats on a big achievement – i’m coming up for year 2 smoke free at the end of this month – for me it was something about being 40 and being a smoker just didn’t quite sit right
    i’m glad you’re being more YOU on your blog – but i can imagine that must be hard when you have all these people ‘expecting’ you to think and act in a certain way … but just &^%$ ’em and just BE YOU !!!

    Reply
  56. Beth says

    March 18, 2007 at 6:51 pm

    I wish I could give up food cold turkey. Congrats on 365 smoke-free days!

    Reply
  57. Meghan says

    March 18, 2007 at 6:53 pm

    What an amazing accomplishment! I am still trying to get my mom to quite smoking. She tries really really hard to, but just hasnt gotten there yet. I know its very hard for her and just hope that one day she comes out on top.

    Reply
  58. Linda Battaglia says

    March 18, 2007 at 6:55 pm

    Cathy,
    Congrats on 365 days! Hang in there cause I know you probably don’t feel like you’re totally out of the woods yet. I began smoking at 16 – back in the day we thought it made us look cool but after years of looking cool, I was addicted. After having my first child (yes I smoked when I was pregnant – talk about guilt)I began having chest pains. It scared the crap out of me – I had a new baby and here I was with some fatal illness that I was sure was caused by my smoking. I decided that I’d try to make a deal with God – I’d quit, if he’d keep me alive. I was 28 then – I’m 50 now. Still get chest pains now and then…..gas. But what I wanted to tell you is that I loved it too – for a long time I loved it and missed it so much. But eventually, I didn’t love it anymore. Don’t worry, you won’t have to wait till you’re 50. But it may take a little longer than a year – but it will happen. The more distance you put between you and the act, the less appealing it will become. Promise. So hang it there, and just keep putting in one more day, and another and another, and before you know it, you’ll wonder why you ever liked it so much. Best of luck and congrats!

    Reply
  59. Kris with a K says

    March 18, 2007 at 7:11 pm

    hey, Cathy, I thought of you when I read this review in the Austin (Texas) American Statesman this weekend….you being a word nerd and all. Imagine, a movie about a typeface! Cool!

    ‘Helvetica’

    Even if you’ve never heard the word Helvetica, you know what it is: It’s the typeface of Target, of J.C. Penney, of TNT, of New York subway signs. The clean-lined font, so ubiquitous that it’s almost invisible to us, takes a starring role in this documentary. Director Gary Hustwit shows us, elegantly and vibrantly, how Helvetica-infused our lives are. Whether this is a good thing is a matter of fierce — very fierce — debate among the type designers and graphic designers interviewed in the film. They’re a magnificent lot, passionate about what most of us would think are the tiniest of details. And how do they feel about Helvetica? That it’s perfectly designed and democratic in spirit. And, on the other hand, that it’s boring, corporate and the font of war. Yes, we are talking about a typeface. “Helvetica” stretches on a bit too long, but it’s still entertaining and thought-provoking to consider all the meanings behind the font we all interact with daily (in fact, I’m typing in it right now). 10 p.m. Saturday, Convention Center

    — Sarah Lindner

    Reply
  60. Ashley Schultz says

    March 18, 2007 at 7:19 pm

    Way to go Cathy! You don’t know me, but I’m happy for your accomplishment!

    Reply
  61. sherrygrove says

    March 18, 2007 at 7:25 pm

    Congratulations! And welcome to the club. I just celebrated my 22nd month and will make 2 years on May 4th. The good news is that I don’t miss it much anymore. Yes there are times, but mostly I must be exposed to it now to think about it. I can’t say I miss the cigarettes as much as I miss the lifestyle that went with them — a couple of quick breaks each morning and afternoon, then, at night, a good book, a glass of ice cold diet coke, and a bunch of cigarettes out in my garage, seated on a padded folding chair with ashtray at hand and reading. Do you know I used to be an avid reader and now have finished only one book in 22 months! LOL

    Be proud of yourself, Cathy; what you accomplished is totally self will and self control. You can be proud that you overcame an addiction. It’s a very BIG deal. And it’s something you continue to conquer every day. Keep it up. I’m with ya.

    And I think hubby should buy you that new car as a reward!

    Reply
  62. Isabelle says

    March 18, 2007 at 7:29 pm

    Hey Cathy! I often wondered if you, Ali, Donna and all the other scrapbookers who blog and are associated with certain magazines have to sign something or at the very least censor yourself a bit in your blogs since you are spokespersons for them. I can’t help it, alot of time when I read scrapbooking mags I can’t help but see the image of a 50’s wife wearing pearls while she vaccums. So not the reality…

    I for one welcome your honesty. And thanks for turning me on to Dooce. Gotta love people who say whatever they want. Go for it. It’s YOUR blog, no one else’s. Your reader are owed nothing. Basically if we don’t agree with you, we don’t have to read it. But for us who do find you entertaining, PLEASE, keep this blog going! LOL!

    Reply
  63. kp says

    March 18, 2007 at 7:33 pm

    Just think how pretty your lungs are looking right now…hmm….maybe a page idea…

    Sending out a giant WAHOO for your milestone!

    Reply
  64. Samara says

    March 18, 2007 at 7:34 pm

    Way to go you!

    And thanks for being you!

    Reply
  65. BonnieRose says

    March 18, 2007 at 7:44 pm

    COngrats cathy….. I love your new outlook for your blog…. It’s what I share on my blog too, not just sbing stuff, but just me stuff too.. how i’m feeling whats on my mind… i’m pretty much an open book.. .lol hurrah for you… I love your new blog feel.. big hugs to you cathy and again congrats!
    hugs

    Reply
  66. Rochelle McGee says

    March 18, 2007 at 7:48 pm

    Congratulations! Your thoughts made me think that there is at least one thing everyone is hiding from someone but it takes real courage to shout that something out loud to the world.

    Rochelle

    Reply
  67. Beth says

    March 18, 2007 at 7:49 pm

    Cathy,
    I got a bit of a chuckle from this because I haven’t noticed any change in your blog and what sets you apart, in my mind, is your unabashed willingness to be so completely honest. I’ve read lots of your journaling in your books and have always found it so refreshing that you’re just a regular person who gets stressed and sometimes yells at their kids. Thank you for that. Sometimes scrapbookers seem so darn perfect. You are just so darn real.
    Regarding the smoking, Congratulations!! I know exactly how you feel as I am an addict, just like yourself. Sadly, I haven’t found the strength to give it up yet – you may just be the final inspiration that I need. I am so happy for you though and no one knows as well as I do just how hard it is . . . Thanks for putting in a ‘good word’ for “us” – it feels good to know that someone understands the misery of it all.
    Thanks, Cathy for being so you – so genuine and do celebrate this auspicious occasion!!

    Reply
  68. cindy says

    March 18, 2007 at 7:53 pm

    HUGE CONGRATULATIONS CATHY :-)!!

    Reply
  69. cindy says

    March 18, 2007 at 7:59 pm

    i just posted, but couldn’t hold it in. so i thought i’d post again. i think it’s fantastic that you quit! being an addict is hard. i too was once an addict & reason for my quitting is that i am currently pregnant. i’ll be honest, i miss it sometimes, but i am glad i don’t smell bad anymore…hehehe. i would hide in my garage or in the backyard all the time. smoking isn’t allowed in our home around our son & plus, i never liked the smell of it in a house anyway. i was a closet smoker for a long long time. i finally started opening up to friends that i smoked. now that i don’t, i am hoping that i stay addict free from cigarette smoking. i just turned 37 & well, i’ve quit smoking so many times, i hope that this is the last. anyway, i’m just rambling! i’ve never posted on your blog just lurked & i just couldn’t resist tonight. keep up the good work 🙂 & thanks for this post. it was very enlightening!!!

    SMOOCHES!

    Reply
  70. Tanya says

    March 18, 2007 at 8:07 pm

    I agree that quitting smoking is the HARDEST thing I’ve ever done, too! I quit nearly 8 months ago after being a heavy smoker for 18 years! I still get the urge from time to time, but I don’t want to go back! Congrats on your milestone, for I too, understand the HELL that comes with quitting! Thanks for sharing your story, too!

    Reply
  71. Keely says

    March 18, 2007 at 8:20 pm

    cz – one day at a time, girlfriend! it is an addiction and you will always want a cigarette. that never goes away. the good news is you have hundreds (if not thousands) of people who love you, not the scrapbook cathy. all of us have “skeletons” in our closets. whether it’s depression or adhd or ocd or addictions or fears or whatever. if people can’t love us with our skeletons, then they are not living in the real world. (((hugs)))

    Reply
  72. Scraplifter says

    March 18, 2007 at 8:25 pm

    congratulations! keep on keepin’ on.

    Reply
  73. Cathy Walters says

    March 18, 2007 at 8:30 pm

    Congrats! 🙂 (I’m only a smoker in my dreams…no kidding, I dream about smoking!)
    And I love the Real Cathy! I hadn’t read any of your blogs before this year, but I found it so refreshing that you were a real person that has this amazing ability to write the way you think. I LOVE that! My kids are 8 and 10 and I struggle with how much “real” to put in the scrapbook…I don’t want to be a stepford wife, but I don’t want to freak the kids out also. I don’t know, it’s a balance.
    I hope you can feel all of us around the world cheering you on and celebrating with you…and celebrating the raw, the real, the un-censored. 🙂

    Reply
  74. Shelly says

    March 18, 2007 at 8:40 pm

    good for you…no great for you…and your family. I hope your kids will see your struggle and realize what a hard addiction this is to kick and it may make them think twice before starting it up 🙁

    Victories are victories, we take ’em where we can get ’em…and i’d say a year without smokes is a huge victory.

    Reply
  75. Karen says

    March 18, 2007 at 8:55 pm

    Congratulations. I so understand exactly where you are–I quit so many years ago, my children hardly remember I ever smoked–but it was so hard to quit. For years I knew exactly how long it had been since I had my last cigarette. Now I can truthfully say, I don’t know how long it’s been–a very long time. But I know I can NEVER have another one or I would be right back where I started.

    Reply
  76. lucy says

    March 18, 2007 at 8:56 pm

    Ya know, it’s a little crazy, but I was just thinking last night about how your tone has changed in your blog. I LOVE it! I totally get your vibe of you being you and expressing yourself so freely! You are by no means insulting. You are refreshing and hilarious! I laugh so hard when I read your posts. Oh and congrats on the no smoking thing!

    Reply
  77. Marcy says

    March 18, 2007 at 9:21 pm

    As I read today’s entry I was surprised at how it affected me. I sit here with tears streaming down my face. I am so proud of you, but so ashamed for me. You see I too am addicted to smoking. I have smoked off and on since college; dorm and sorority fun times. I have quit for long periods of time, but stress will eventually win and I’ve got to have that lovin’ back again. The doctor tells me it is self medicating. My husband says it’s terrible and just can’t understand (yes, I have been caught by him through the years). I say it makes me feel calm, together, at peace, and suddenly my life is doable.

    I wish I could sit on my porch; but no one can know my secret. I wash my hair 2-3 times a day. Chew gum, always. Change clothes immediately after. Brush my teeth unceasingly. It is hell, but it is worth it….for a minute or two.

    I hate cigarettes. I hate smelling smoke. But if I am the person smoking it is a different story. Smoking is a dear old friend. One who never judges me or has unrealistic expectations for me. You are lucky Cathy because you don’t belong to a religion that will not tolerate smoking. A religion that talks weekly about smoking and how terrible it is. 95% of my “friends” would no longer be there, if they knew my secret. So I am so happy for you, for your year anniversary, and for the support that you get from your husband and friends. You are also so brave to share this on your blog. I just wish I could have known you before you quit. It would have been nice to had a smoke with you, so I will have one in your memory; but it have to wait until tomorrow when the kids and husband are gone…….

    Reply
  78. Nichole says

    March 18, 2007 at 9:34 pm

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!! on quitting smoking! I’ve heard it’s pretty much the toughest addiction to quit, and you should be so proud of yourself!

    I also have to say that I loved “Scrapbook Cathy’s” blog, and I love your new blog, too! I absolutely love the honesty and insight. And hey, you introduced me to Neil Finn. 🙂

    Reply
  79. Sinead says

    March 18, 2007 at 9:46 pm

    Good on ya! I’m sure it hasn’t been easy.
    And I like this new blog voice of yours so very much. Who needs that Stepford stuff — plenty of it available elsewhere…

    Reply
  80. Raimi says

    March 18, 2007 at 9:53 pm

    Way to go Cathy! Keep it up! Don’t give in to the addiction! So happy for you!!!

    Raimi

    Reply
  81. Gabrielle says

    March 18, 2007 at 10:08 pm

    I like you Cathy iiiii reallly like you!! I met you years ago in CKu Anaheim, we had dinner together. Anyways…I have had to much vino and I wanted to say I’m reading your blog daily now and I realllllly like the new honest Cathy not the scrapbook Cathy. Thanks…Ellie…you remember me?

    Reply
  82. Emma says

    March 18, 2007 at 10:26 pm

    Cathy,
    Good for you. You should be damn proud that you have made it 365 days already. My mom quit around the same time as you last year after smoking for forty years. For her it was too late to avoid the health complications, but she has gotten so much healthier, and active since she quit. You’ve done a tremendously difficult thing, and I hope you maintain the strength you need not to give in to the addiction.

    Reply
  83. Jocelynne says

    March 18, 2007 at 10:31 pm

    WAY TO GO Cathy!

    Reply
  84. susan says

    March 18, 2007 at 10:36 pm

    that is HUGE!!!!! congrats Cathy! congrats for every gosh darn day you make it! here’s to the NEXT 365…and the 365 after that…and the 365 after that! (oh, and Cathyjustthewayyouare is just darn fine with me!!)

    Reply
  85. tori says

    March 18, 2007 at 10:39 pm

    Cathy- Many many congratulations on this smoke-free year. I know and love many smokers. As a result, I have a fragment of an idea of how hard it can be to quit.

    I am also really happy to see you blogging again. Part of the reason I enjoy your scrapbooking is I think you’ve always shown a more authentic self in your layouts than other well-known scrapbookers. Thank you for doing that.

    Reply
  86. Wendy Treseder says

    March 18, 2007 at 10:42 pm

    Hi Cathy,
    You go girl!
    It’s been 16 years for me and I can’t even imagine ever taking another puff on a cigarette.
    I’m sure you’ll be successful if NOT smoking becomes your new obsession.
    Thanks always for the honesty (& the swearing – he he).

    Reply
  87. Nitty.Gritty. says

    March 18, 2007 at 10:47 pm

    Way to go…the ‘being real’ part. This whole charade that people play, hiding feelings and addictions and emotions and any other thing that sends the wrong message about who they really are in life-is what really feeds addictions and emotional problems and underlying issues that create all sorts of struggles in life. I wish more people could embrace their problems, their issues, their challenges and addictions, and then allow others to guide them and support them through this journey we call life. For me, March 18th is an earth-shattering day. It is my daughter, Teagan’s birthday- but I will never get to hug her or wish her happiness on earth again. I blogged about it. My pain and my journey. And some of the raw truth is that I live with this day- the pain and sorrow mixed in with some joy, because a suicidal woman couldn’t share her true feelings with anyone in her life. She was desperate and hopeless and because of THAT, my life is forever changed by her choices. I sometimes wish I had the chance to talk to her the day before. But I wonder, would I have shown her love and compassion and support? Or would I have judged her and made her feel ashamed of who she was. It’s a scary thought for me. I have grown and changed so much the past few years, that I know NOW what I would do. The part that makes my heart break now, is that I know there are more people out there in the world like her. You said it. Only in light of addiction…but it really is about love. To be loved, reagardless of who you are, what you have done in life, what your addiction or issue in life looks like, that is what the heart longs for. I am thankful for my faith in a God that accepts me the way I am. Broken and messed up. Just like everybody else in this world. Here’s wishing you many more days of ‘stifling your addiction- not yourself’!

    Reply
  88. Becca says

    March 18, 2007 at 10:48 pm

    Congratulations Kathy! One day at a time, baby! Lo and behold I was searching the knitting circut and ended up finding your blog… again. I am a fan of the old blog, and missed you terribly. I absolutely love the uncut, uncensored Kathy. You rock my socks lady!

    Reply
  89. Jane S. says

    March 18, 2007 at 11:19 pm

    Congratulations. Smoking is so much more than a physical addiction and the more distance you put between you and your last cigarette, the more authentic you’ll become. It’s 20 years for me now and I quit more than once on the way. Unfortunately added more chub on a shorter body than yours. But it’s all good. Keep on going one day at a time.

    Reply
  90. Angie says

    March 18, 2007 at 11:49 pm

    Congrats, Cathy! I love the real Cathy – the uncut, the real you. I missed your blog – and I am so happy you are back. Your wit, humor, wisdom and creativity inspire so many, especially me.

    “Change is inevitable, growth is intentional.” ~Brenda Cloud

    Reply
  91. Lain Ehmann says

    March 19, 2007 at 12:00 am

    Knitting is an incredibly useful way to keep those itchy fingers busy.
    Snaps for you, chica!
    Keep it up.. and we’re pulling for you.
    xooxoxo
    Lain

    Reply
  92. Stacey Wakelin says

    March 19, 2007 at 12:35 am

    Hey Cathy,

    Congrats on quitting smoking! You should be very proud.But I also have to say–I want to be you when I grow up:)Ok, so I am 30 and not really THAT much younger.But I love your ‘tude, your honesty and your voice. Refreshing in a world where everyone wants to sound the same. Rock on!

    Reply
  93. Sharon Jonsson says

    March 19, 2007 at 12:48 am

    WEll, I have just put another blog into my favourites (of which there are now 2, yours and Heather Armstrong’s).. you both make me pee my pants (in a good way of course!)
    Oh and congratulations on quitting smoking. Good one.

    Reply
  94. erin yamabe says

    March 19, 2007 at 2:11 am

    GOOD for you!!! congratulations on your 365 days woman!

    and i appreciate your thoughts, in all forms, they are afterall YOU.

    thanks for as they say *keeping it real*!

    cheers,

    erin

    Reply
  95. natalia dexter says

    March 19, 2007 at 4:54 am

    Hi Cathy!
    so glad to hear that you have been smoke free for a year. That’s a great achievement. My dad is 71 this year and he started smoking when he was 13. He quit about 6 years ago. Cold turkey – no patches, no gum nothing. He ended up in hospital with pnuemonia and we could have lost him he was so ill. That was his TURNING point. The day he left hospital was the day he quit smoking. I have been a social smoker since uni but quit when I found out I was pregnant with my son (now 4.5 years old). I still have the occasional one if we’re out and I’ve had a drink or two or three. But we don’t go out often anymore so I guess I don’t have an excuse to have one. It’s very hard to be strong because smoking is so social but you feel so GOOD when you resist.
    Keep strong Cathy!
    By the way did you enjoy the Crowded House webcast?

    Reply
  96. Melissa S-E says

    March 19, 2007 at 5:54 am

    *sniff sniff* I don’t smell you, so that’s a good thing! :> CONGRATS on 3-6-5. May there be many, many more. 🙂

    Reply
  97. WENDY MYERS says

    March 19, 2007 at 6:42 am

    Cathy,
    Keeping it real is what is all about. I find myself holding back on my blog too sometimes. I have smoked since I was 12 years old. Never while I was pregnant and never around them, or in my house. I just have no desire to stop.
    I am very proud of anyone that can stop, strong willed people have the hardest time. SO Good For You!! You should be very proud of yourself. Here’s to 365 more.

    Reply
  98. Marilyn says

    March 19, 2007 at 6:42 am

    Way to go Cathy!! I am enjoying your new tone of writing, and absolutely love the fact that you leave no stone unturned when you are telling us like it is – what a wonderful breath of fresh air (which by the way is what you have had – for 365 days). I, personally quite on 4-19-00, just 2 weeks before open heart surgery – nothing like taking it down to the wire!! Keep up the good work.

    Reply
  99. shelley says

    March 19, 2007 at 7:20 am

    Cathy… I LOVE the new balls out CZ… I could tell it’s who you really were, even through, as you and Donna call it.. the Scrapbook Cathy… we’re (scrappers) not all pretentious, PTA VP’s (of course, no offence to PTA mom’s it’s just a stereotype i’ve made reference to… )that hold back on the potty mouth language.. and your addiciton… ? I salute you! good for you and keep up the honesty. there are (i am certain) tons of us out here who appreciate it. KEEP ROCKIN, SMOKE FREE, BABY!

    Reply
  100. pam says

    March 19, 2007 at 7:47 am

    Congrats! That is a huge accomplishment and you should be very proud of you!

    Reply
  101. Layni says

    March 19, 2007 at 8:09 am

    OMG, the story of your struggle [with all it’s shame, guilt, secretiveness, deluding yourself to believe that you were fooling anyone, etc.] is MY story (except the part where you quit). Thank you for attempting to dispell the myth that it’s our choice, that we can control it & that we live in trailers (not that there’s anything wrong with that). Stay strong.

    Reply
  102. betcei says

    March 19, 2007 at 8:10 am

    This post is very close to my heart today. My mother was diagnosed with lung cancer 2 weeks ago, and today is the day we find out if its only surgery she needs or more radically, chemo and radiation. She smoked since she was a teen, and is now 78. My oldest sister asked if I thought she would quit, and I honestly said “No” she’s addicted, and we still love her. Its hard to stop, and never go back. I always admire people that are able to end it on their terms. I smoked in college, but not heavily, so I was able to quit with no problem. Good Wishes to you to see you through to that bus when you’re 90. Remember to look both ways when crossing the street.

    Reply
  103. caroline says

    March 19, 2007 at 8:21 am

    Thank you. It’s wonderful to hear a scrapper say “I’m going to be real.” and then actually walk the walk. As one of those pour-over-the journaling scrapbook magazine reader I often wonder where my life went so terribly wrong, and why can’t I just relax and enjoy all the crap that goes wrong on a daily basis?? I appreciate the good things I have and I love my children dearly, but sometimes they try my nerves and daily life makes me want to crawl under a rock and hide.

    We. All. Struggle.

    At least from time to time, and it’s good to know that we’re not alone in it. Congrats on staying strong in your struggling. You’re beating a monster, and as an ex-smoker I can tell you that it gets easier the longer you go without. It’s never EASY, but it’s easIER. Even if your kids never saw, you’re giving them the gift of a couple extra years with you, and they may not know to be grateful, but they would be. Keep on.

    Reply
  104. crazydarla says

    March 19, 2007 at 8:40 am

    I really hope this does not get “lost” in your replies but I felt like you needed a HUG and to hear this. It is so perfect and it has touched my life several times in several ways. Blessings to you today and GOOD JOB on the quitting. Darla

    I’m Not Finished With Me Yet

    When you take a look at me
    If you don’t like what y ou see
    Just remember in my ways I am not set.
    And if you don’t think that I’m
    Always perfect all the time
    There’s no need for you to get really upset
    For I’m changing every day
    In the things I do and say
    And my attitude and thinking better get.
    So please be merciful and kind
    And keep just one thing in mind.
    Just one truth: I’m not finished with me yet.

    When I take a look at you
    And I don’t like what you do
    I’ll remember in your ways you’re not set.
    And if I don’t understand
    Every little thing you’ve planned
    It may not be my business
    So why should I get upset?
    For you’re changing everyday
    In the things you do and say
    And your attitude, like mine,
    I hope will better get.
    So I’ll be merciful and kind
    And I’ll keep just one thing in mind.
    Just one truth: You’re not finished with you yet.

    Why settle for less?
    When you can choose to experience so much
    MORE – BETTER – GREATER?

    – Dr Zonnya

    Reply
  105. mimi says

    March 19, 2007 at 9:06 am

    Congratulations on quitting smoking, it was a year for me at the end of january. my daughter caught me hiding in the garden having a cigarette ! she never knew before, but she told me she suspected, she told me.
    anyway congrats ! i enjoy reading you !
    and come back to Oz soon !
    Mimi

    Reply
  106. Stacey says

    March 19, 2007 at 9:12 am

    Wow. WOW.

    I have to say… you rock, a million times over. Every morning, I look forward to reading what you have to say. It’s the only way on most days that I’m able to drag my sorry fanny into the office. “Yes, today may be awful, but as least I can see what Cathy has to say after I catch up on my e-mails…”

    I love that you write as “real Cathy”. You have the best voice… and in a world where most of my friends are turning into Stepford Wives at an amazing rate, it’s awesome to see that there are still normal people inhabiting this earth. Normal people with kids who act up, houses that aren’t spotless and… oh my gosh!!!… bad habits!! The SHOCK!!!

    I am so proud of you that you’ve made it 365 without a cigarette. Such a GREAT accomplishment. There’s not one of us out here who don’t have a list a mile long of things they’d want to change about themselves… and you’ve actually tackled one of those things. I’m in awe.

    Keep the “good stuff” coming, Cathy… it’s why you have so many loyal readers. Because you’re you. And you rock.

    Reply
  107. Sheryl says

    March 19, 2007 at 9:27 am

    Happy anniversary and congratulations, Cathy!

    Reply
  108. Kelli Kemmerer says

    March 19, 2007 at 10:18 am

    ROCK ON “SAILOR”!

    Reply
  109. Jessica says

    March 19, 2007 at 10:22 am

    Congrats Cathy on a huge accomplishment! I love your blog and your honesty.
    Jess

    Reply
  110. Jenny Rebecca says

    March 19, 2007 at 10:48 am

    Happy Anniversary!!

    Reply
  111. sarah says

    March 19, 2007 at 10:55 am

    congratulations cathy!
    what a HUGE accomplishment…
    own it.
    be proud!
    🙂

    Reply
  112. Vicki Jackson says

    March 19, 2007 at 11:43 am

    I personally like the new Cathy better… but I think I always knew the Blog Cathy was a sanitized version for public consumption.. nothing wrong with that… But we smokin, swearin, rockin out to the oldies Sb’ers can spot each other a mile away…. Be yourself.. congrats on your milestone.. We love us some CZ

    Reply
  113. Tracy W. says

    March 19, 2007 at 12:17 pm

    Congrats on 1 year smoke free! As a repeat quitter myself, I can totally relate to the huge accomplishment that is. I did finally kick the habit for good, it’s been just over 8 years now. I know how strong the addiction is, and I don’t ever allow myself even one cig because I know it will drag me back in. I do however occasionally puff on a clove when I have a few cocktails – I know, how very 80’s of me. So, even though I scrapbook I’m a “normal” person who likes to scrapbook with others who have a few vices – makes for more interesting conversation! Stay strong!

    Reply
  114. MaryRuth says

    March 19, 2007 at 12:41 pm

    Congrats! I think that’s so wonderful…

    I think for the most part a majority of us struggle with some form of an addicition… smoking, food, shopping, alcohol, work, etc… regardless of the addiction it’s still an addiction and it’s still hard…

    Thanks for being strong and brave and posting about yours… it gives the rest of us hope.

    Reply
  115. susan opel says

    March 19, 2007 at 12:49 pm

    Bravo, Cathy! Bravo! That’s quite a major accomplishment!

    Reply
  116. suetreiber says

    March 19, 2007 at 12:50 pm

    rock on with your bad self!

    Reply
  117. PROLIX from la Normandie says

    March 19, 2007 at 1:04 pm

    félicitations!!!
    I’m proud of ya’!
    go on like this, and better be a scrapaddicted than a smoke addicted!
    yep!

    you rock!

    {ThE fReNcH tOuCh}
    http://prolix.typepad.fr

    Reply
  118. ginger says

    March 19, 2007 at 1:10 pm

    Rock on Cathy! Say it like it is girl. That’s awesome that you’re smoke free, too!

    G

    Reply
  119. Joelle says

    March 19, 2007 at 1:27 pm

    Congratulations, Cathy! That is a major accomplishment and one that I’m sure will be celebrated not only by you, but also by all who love you. 🙂 Thank you for reminding me how challenging it is – my husband quit smoking about 4 months ago. He has been a little difficult to be around at times since he quit and you reminded me how hard it must be for him to leave his addiction behind. I am exceedingly proud of him. ps…your blog (and your honesty) rocks 😉

    Reply
  120. Diane A says

    March 19, 2007 at 1:37 pm

    You go wwith your bad self!!! I am proud of you!! I love you just the way you are!!Keep up the good work!!

    Reply
  121. Terianne says

    March 19, 2007 at 1:46 pm

    Congratulations!! It’s an incredible accomplishment. I quit 19 years ago(damn!!) and it was not my first time to try either. May this be it for you.

    Reply
  122. jenwcom says

    March 19, 2007 at 1:58 pm

    candid is much more appealing than posed.

    Reply
  123. DonnaC says

    March 19, 2007 at 2:23 pm

    WAY TO GO CATHY! One year is a huge accomplishment.

    Thanks also for your comments about integrity and the real Cathy. It takes a brave and strong person to stand up an say it – an inspiration to us all!

    Reply
  124. paige says

    March 19, 2007 at 2:31 pm

    awesome girl
    congrats
    thanks for your candid honesty…you are a breath of fresh air ( & apparantly that is true now in more ways than one!!!)

    Reply
  125. Haylie says

    March 19, 2007 at 3:08 pm

    Congratulations! Always read but never comment. However, this milestone totally deserves one even if it’s coming from someone you don’t know from boo. Keep it up and in the word of Randy J., “thanks for keepin’ it real, DAWG”!

    Reply
  126. Sarah says

    March 19, 2007 at 3:12 pm

    Ok, can you stand even more congratulations? ‘Cause I’m #125 (I think) and I suspect there are more coming.

    I am an alcoholic (recovering, not drunk) and a former smoker. Still addicted to both, in the sense that if I pick up I have no idea when or if I’ll stop. Of the 2, quitting smoking was WAY harder. I dreamed about smoking (ok, I dreamed about drinking too), I followed smokers down the street, sniffing. Pretty gross. And I still think about them once in a while, and it’s been almost 21 years w/o a drink and almost 19 w/o a cigarette.

    I had to get to the not ever, never, never stage. I know if I take even ONE puff from a cigarette I’m off to the races again. I NEVER want to have to quit again – it was just too hard. And staying stopped is way easier than stopping.

    You GO girl! And as for potty mouth…maybe there needs to be some kind of blurry thing for blog posts the way they have for TV shows where you can’t see the naughty parts. Or you could have a network-TV version of your blog and a cable version (and only tell your mom about the network one).

    Smooches!

    Reply
  127. Suzanne says

    March 19, 2007 at 3:13 pm

    Cathy, I just have to say that I think you totally rock. I love that you always keep it so real!

    Congratulations on your one year! That’s HUGE! You should be so proud!

    Reply
  128. emilyruth says

    March 19, 2007 at 3:15 pm

    good job, you!…you know everybody has their stuff & we’re all just trying to figure it out…good job kicking this one…& i just must second (or 3rd or 4th, i haven’t read all of the previous comments) your assessment of dooce…oh my goodness those comment responses are some of my favorite posts of hers…it gives me great courage to just say what i want to say to people who are mean…but then i realize oh yeah, i am a stay at home mom of 2 & really no one is ever mean to me (except the yelling ‘no!’ when asked to pick up the legos)…but if someone ever was mean to me…i would know what to do & maybe i would do it:)

    Reply
  129. Susan says

    March 19, 2007 at 3:21 pm

    been there too… yeah for you!!!
    really big yeah!!!!!!
    its sooo tough to quit. People who have never smoked really just have no idea, nor do they understand the guilt smokers feel. Its crazy how embarrased I use to feel when people found out I smoked. But its been over 9 years now. In Jan my DH finally quit too, this is his 3rd of 4th try. Its so hard…
    But your doing great so keep on keeping on…take lots of deeepppppp breaths and hold them. 🙂 that worked well for me.

    Reply
  130. Karen says

    March 19, 2007 at 3:30 pm

    Congratulations Cathy. To quit smoking is major accomplishment. Some of my loved ones have quit smoking while others have not because they couldn’t. My mother could not stop and I miss her dearly. Keep up the good work!
    Karen

    Reply
  131. the ultimate inspiration says

    March 19, 2007 at 3:50 pm

    Cathy,
    Im such a sucka’ for you (just so you know). I love your work, have both the Clean and Simple Scrapbooking books, and was in deep distress (sorta) when you discontinued your first blog. But now you’re back.. so.. YAY!

    Congratulations on your 365 days of smoke-free!!!
    I’ve never thought of commenting in your blog simply because I’m just a person who admires from afar. But this entry really hits home for me. Still an addict but working on it.
    Just wanna say Thanks for speaking out, and for not holding back.
    You’re such an inspiration.

    Reply
  132. Carol says

    March 19, 2007 at 3:59 pm

    You go girl. How very cool. I have been talking about it for over a year now. I suppose talk is better than nothing. I really think you are an inspiration to the rest of us. Thanks. And again congrats.

    Reply
  133. Heather Ales says

    March 19, 2007 at 4:10 pm

    I know this sound lame, but I am so damn proud of you for speaking your mind – honestly and truthfully! I am proud of you for quitting smoking – I know it’s a hard habit to break. 365+ days later, you’re still smoke free and thats fantastic!

    thanks for being you, and letting us see the part of you that isn’t scrapbook cathy. While I think she’s dandy, I think the “real” (or what we know) cathy is pretty damn fantastic.

    Reply
  134. JT says

    March 19, 2007 at 4:29 pm

    Congrats! A year is a huge accomplishment! Also, I am really glad you are blogging again, I missed you! I also read DOOCE and the hateful comments she gets always astonish me as does her ability to turn the tables. What surprises me the most is why these people continue to read her blog if they think all these nasty things about her. You should never take unkind comments personally (I know that doesn’t make sense) because the commentor is most likely projecting their rotten disposition on you (kinda like a he who smelt it, dealt it mentality). Take care

    Reply
  135. Kip says

    March 19, 2007 at 4:50 pm

    It’s been 18 years for me and to this day, it remains the thing I am most proud of for accomplishing because I was truly a cigarette ADDICT. Two packs a day the last few years and I stopped cold turkey.

    Clapping for you girl cuz I know how hard it was to do that.

    Kip

    Reply
  136. rachael pancic says

    March 19, 2007 at 5:00 pm

    Congrats on the anniversary, I cannot personally relate, although I watched my husband quit and I am total awe of the power and strength involved to conquer this addiction. Keep it up, you are obviously built for success! Enjoying your blog daily btw, and even though I adore just about everything scrapbooking you put out in to the world, I would not want to miss out on the 100% Cathy, because lady, you make me laugh my ass off and only the real thing will do from now on! Take care!!

    Reply
  137. Linda says

    March 19, 2007 at 5:58 pm

    I liked you before, I like you even more now. Keep on rocking Cathy and of course BIG congratulations!

    Reply
  138. Linda says

    March 19, 2007 at 6:02 pm

    Did I mention this is my first time posting? Love your blog, your scrapbooking style and basically just love YOU.

    Reply
  139. Lana says

    March 19, 2007 at 6:11 pm

    Yay girlfriend!
    AND your life insurance rates just went down. Tell Dan that, I bet he’ll get all turned on and stuff.

    Reply
  140. Robyn says

    March 19, 2007 at 7:07 pm

    Just wanted to add my congratulations to the stack. I’m beginning to think that there are more people out there struggling with things than I thought. Makes me think I’m not the only one. Not smoking for me, but you know, lots of us have that something that’s hard to quit. You’re giving me hope. Good for you. Makes me happy.

    Reply
  141. Alyson says

    March 19, 2007 at 7:31 pm

    Congratulations!!! That is great, Cathy!

    Reply
  142. Kay Rogers says

    March 19, 2007 at 7:41 pm

    ROCK ON, GIRL! That is amazing. My sister kicked the habit after almost dying from a heart attack at 52. And I am proud of her each and every day.

    Reply
  143. Lisa says

    March 19, 2007 at 8:35 pm

    Congratulations, Sweetie. Love you!

    Reply
  144. Dana says

    March 19, 2007 at 9:04 pm

    Congrats Cathy!!! I knew you could do it. I am so inspired by you girl!!!!! Can I tell you again how happy I am that you are bloggin’. 🙂

    Reply
  145. Rebecca Geach says

    March 19, 2007 at 9:31 pm

    You made me cry and I love you!!

    I only just found out you are “back” two days ago!

    I blame it on my pregnancy… I miss a LOT these days 🙂

    Your blog rocks, your humour rocks.. and think its brilliant you say what you mean!

    Bek ~aka Aussie Chick~

    Reply
  146. Rebecca Geach says

    March 19, 2007 at 9:34 pm

    Also….. CONGRATULATIONS ~ its great.
    You have acheived an amazing feat!!
    Its not easy.. and you did it!

    The only thing that stopped me was our pregnancy.
    Bek

    Reply
  147. SueSume says

    March 19, 2007 at 9:55 pm

    You Go, Girl! …and on those times you go AWOL from your blog, I promise not to edge in close and sniff suspiciously…
    Sue

    Reply
  148. Susan Wesely says

    March 19, 2007 at 10:01 pm

    Congratulations on a HUGE milestone! I’ve been smoke free since March 9, 2001. (Funny how you never forget a certain date.) Quitting was the single most difficult physical and mental challenge I’ve ever had to overcome in my entire life. So kudos to you Cathy Z!

    And I love that you are opening up more. I am a believer that the more we share, the more we teach. And the more we teach, the more we learn. And the more we learn, the more we grow.

    I am so elated that you are blogging again. Here’s to more growing!

    Susan

    Reply
  149. kelz says

    March 19, 2007 at 10:08 pm

    rock on, sistah. thnk u for being real. dude ~ could i even go so far as to say, ‘it makes you glow.’

    Reply
  150. vanessa says

    March 19, 2007 at 10:28 pm

    high 5 from one former smoker to another. i know the addiction-i loved it-couldn’t get enough of those stogies. quitting was ONE of the hardest things I ever did, it was also one of the BEST things i ever did, i gained so much more than I lost.

    Reply
  151. Shannon Lowe says

    March 19, 2007 at 10:51 pm

    Obviously we are all behind you 100%. Congratulations!!!! YOU ARE AMAZING, but I already knew that. Now if I can figure out how to live and speak with more interity and not worry so much about what others think!

    Reply
  152. Jacquie says

    March 19, 2007 at 10:53 pm

    I began reading your blog a while ago and have never commented, but felt compelled to let you know that I enjoy your blog as much, if not more so, then dooce. I love your insights, your honesty and the way you write. So glad someone told me about you. Keep up the great work!

    Reply
  153. Fatima says

    March 20, 2007 at 12:30 am

    First, Congrats to you. I’ve tried over and over and can’t seem to kick it completely. Someone once told me that those that quit are those that are tired of quitting – so I’m still holding out hope. But for now this closet smoker applauds you!

    Thnx for speaking your mind. I find your blog absolutely enlightening and different. I was reading your last book and completely identified with your book of mantras – EVERY SINGLE PAGE! Wound up like a top 3/4 of the day is not how I wish to spend my days but alas it’s a work in progress.

    Hope to someday meet you in person where you’re sense of humour and personality will be sure to shine. Thnx again for keeping life real.

    Winnipegger

    Reply
  154. Lee says

    March 20, 2007 at 1:17 am

    Congratulations and Brava!!!
    I quit for good 22 years ago, after having smoked for thirteen years or so. I can still get a teeny bit nostalgic when I smell that very first whiff of a newly lit cigarette, but I will never go back.
    As for your blog, I really enjoy your candor, your sense of humor and your “yeasty”, zesty style!
    But I must protest your tagging this post as “random blathering”. It is far too fine for that disparaging label!
    All the best,
    Lee

    Reply
  155. Petra says

    March 20, 2007 at 6:01 am

    Cathy I love your honesty! Congradulations on your first Smoke Free Year! Just one of the many to come. I like the Idea of “Scrapbook Cathy” you realy crack me up, but I know what you mean… just keep on writing the way you Do now… its real!

    Reply
  156. andie says

    March 20, 2007 at 6:16 am

    congrats!!!!

    Reply
  157. Giorgina Neilson says

    March 20, 2007 at 6:31 am

    Hi Cathy, met you in Aussie at Kiwi Scraps. Could you answer a couple of questions for me please. I am new to typepad and have a new blog, how do you change the photo at the top of your blog? Which brings me to my second question, I love your bags and have just started knitting myself, what type of wool and what is the colour name you used? What is stockingette stitch? I am a basic knitter but I know the general stitches, I just need to know how many etc. Thanks so much Giorgi

    Reply
  158. Heidi Gauvin says

    March 20, 2007 at 7:15 am

    Congratulations! My husband quit smoking long before I ever met him and still there are occasions when he looks at me and says, “I could really go for a cigarette right now”, and let me tell you, it has been years since he quit. That is a powerful addiction to try to overcome. Keep up the good work!

    Reply
  159. JodeeS says

    March 20, 2007 at 8:37 am

    Quick go sign up for some term life insurance. It’s a hell of a lot cheaper now. I just checked this out myself. Congrats, I know it’s hard.

    Reply
  160. Yvonne says

    March 20, 2007 at 9:50 am

    I agree completely. I had quit smoking, I didn’t want to… still don’t want to. One of the times that I ‘quit’ I was hiding outside behind the shed smoking one and my son (then 12) came around the corner and caught me. I was so ashamed, but I had to finish the smoke before I went and talked to him. It’s an additiction, but not in the crack-addict typical profile, but like you said, a LOVE, no matter how wrong.

    Reply
  161. Angie Grimm says

    March 20, 2007 at 11:53 am

    Congratulations Cathy!

    Reply
  162. katie says

    March 20, 2007 at 1:09 pm

    My husband has been smoking off and on at work, mostly without anyone’s knowledge. I thought he wasn’t addicted because when we’d go on vacation and such, he wouldn’t need it. It seems that he is psycologically addicted and needs my support, even though I’m embarrassed that he even does it. For all those who are judgemental about any habit/addiction, they will see something happen in their life and it will open their eyes. You can’t type people, and I’ve never doubted for a second that you, and my husband are good people despite your outward (and once smelly) problem.

    Reply
  163. Kelley says

    March 20, 2007 at 3:28 pm

    Kick Ass Cathy!

    I like the more honest you- you’re more fun, my kinda gal.

    Keep it ALL up!

    Reply
  164. katie scott says

    March 20, 2007 at 3:57 pm

    Hi Cathy, I’m reading your scrapbooking sequel book now and love it. I totally get having to take a break from scrapbooking – being sapped out. And I get not being scrap cathy – or scrap katie in my case. Anyway, I used to be a smoker too. And I LOVED smoking. If it was good for you I’d be smoking every day – all day long. At first it was Merit & then it was Marlboro Lights. I too was a closet smoker. Not many people knew and I’d totally de-fume myself afterwards. I quit about 10 years ago but still have a cigarette sometimes, like when I drink (maybe about 2 or 3 cigarettes a month). Anyway, recently I had a tummy tuck & breast reduction/lift and the doctor said that my nipples would turn black and fall off if I smoked at all. That was enough for me. I’m totally done with smoking. Good luck on staying off of them. 🙂 Katie

    Reply
  165. Lessie says

    March 20, 2007 at 4:38 pm

    Congratulations. Really an anniversary to be proud of. Especially since, as you allude, it’s been a long tough road. Keep slugging. They say you’ll feel more and more proud of yourself.

    Reply
  166. Sue McFarland says

    March 20, 2007 at 5:33 pm

    Cathy, that is a marvelous accomplishment. My husband has been trying to quit for three years and has not managed to do so. I must say that I LOVE your blog, no matter what anyone else says about the changes in the thing. I think you are honest, funny, cordial, and loving in all your posts. I am not as super cool as you so I don’t always know or understand some of the people you mention…but it does not take away from the pleasure of reading your comments and insights. Thanks for sharing your life with so many of us!!

    From another bad bad sailor mouthed scrapper!!

    Reply
  167. Elsie Flannigan says

    March 20, 2007 at 5:48 pm

    this is so good, cathy.

    i love you!

    Reply
  168. Kristina says

    March 20, 2007 at 6:00 pm

    Congratulations from another ex-smoker. I quit cold turkey 4 years ago in January after 25 years as a smoker….hardest thing I have ever done! but I still swear like a sailor….LOL! If it wasn’t for me, our “swear jar” would be empty and I’d be richer! besides if I stopped swearing, I might be perfect….not…..bless you for taking the journey.

    Reply
  169. Deena says

    March 20, 2007 at 6:48 pm

    My mom died a year and a half ago after a two month battle with lung cancer. I am soooo happy for you. She quit only after her diagnosis, and that was too late. Congratulations. Your family must be so happy.

    Reply
  170. Jessica Sprague says

    March 20, 2007 at 6:50 pm

    All I can say is that you rock. You’ve said all else that needs saying. 🙂

    Reply
  171. Holly Stein says

    March 20, 2007 at 8:04 pm

    I think your honesty is refreshing. Keep up the good work!

    Reply
  172. Becky says

    March 20, 2007 at 10:18 pm

    WTG, Cathy (not that you’re probably still reading these after what, almost 200 comments? LOL)on the smoke-free days! I have lost too many loved ones to cancer from cigarette smoking – I know how hard they tried to quit, so I applaud you for keeping with it.
    FWIW, I like you as scrapbook Cathy and as Cathy Cathy – they’re all a part of you. Keep on being you.

    Reply
  173. Maegan says

    March 20, 2007 at 10:31 pm

    Congrats on one year! You sound like my husband. He was a smoker. He LOVED to smoke. He still would if I didn’t bitch at him. He used to say, “Hey, it will take the last 10 or so years of my life. Who wants those years anyway. Those are the adult diaper years.” He got a bit of chub too. It’s hard work. Way to go.

    Reply
  174. Barb says

    March 21, 2007 at 12:07 am

    You are so amazingly authentic and I love it. Thanks for that, as it still is a bit rare. What a huge accomplishment, thanks for sharing. Keep taking it a day at a time. You are great!

    Reply
  175. Erin says

    March 21, 2007 at 12:11 am

    I thought you might think this was super funny!

    -erin

    Reply
  176. Sherri P says

    March 21, 2007 at 8:46 am

    First, congrats on the major milestone! Quitting smoking is tough – I did it, it took a long time, and it wasn’t easy!!
    Second, I love your blog, and the different hats you wear. I never know what the topic will be, and I love that too! You’re a scrapbooker, dog owner, Mom, wife, music lover, and so many other things, and you blog from all of those perspectives! Ooh, do you think it says something about me, as a dog owner and Mom too, that I put dog owner first?!
    Keep on keeping it real!

    Reply
  177. Gina says

    March 21, 2007 at 9:00 am

    Congrats Cathy! I am a fellow addict & I can relate to your post. It’s been 28 mos since I quit smoking & I hope this is the last time. I had smoked on & off since I was 16 and I’m around your age…so you do the math! LOL I didn’t smoke in my house either or around my kids. Febreeze was my friend, because I always hated the smell. My neighbor smokes & I’ve noticed that I can’t sit close to her, because her breath reeks (I’m like…ah I hope I wasn’t that offensive!). Love reading your blog & love your work – keep it up girl!

    Reply
  178. Lisa says

    March 21, 2007 at 11:59 am

    I don’t care if you have chub…your still THE ONE AND ONLY CATHY to me……and you rock. I love you man….(said like the commercial…hahahahahah) good job!

    Reply
  179. Karen says

    March 21, 2007 at 11:09 pm

    Your struggle with smoking is not unlike my boyfriend’s struggle to quit. He has quit a number of times, for a signifigant amount of time, and had a hard time keeping the habit kicked. He is going on about a year as well, this time. While it was rather easy for me to quit, I have seen first-hand that others just have a harder time with it than others.

    Reply
  180. Paula says

    March 22, 2007 at 6:36 pm

    There are a lot of your thoughts that I can relate to but this is the first comment I have made because I know this is big, not only to count the days but say it out loud (or write it)…congrats big day!

    Reply
  181. Ruth De Fauw says

    March 23, 2007 at 10:19 pm

    Again, Congrats!! From another stranger, no less. lol. And this is the first time I commented too. 🙂 It is so hard to quit. I know, I’ve tried over and over again. Something will draw me back. I have also been the closet smoker, the one that wouldn’t smoke in public or in a car or in the house. Our daughter tells my husband and I that “snoking” (sic) is bad for us. So I’m not allowed to snoke. She catches us on the back porch now and then, or smells it when I come home. My mother died from lung disease, but you get where I’m going with all this. I have friends that loathe it and smoke on our back deck too when we have a few drinks. One recently said that she would die if anyone at her work found out that she likes to smoke. Why is it that it’s an addiction relegated (is that the right word??!!) to rednecks and barflies? I’m a scrapper too and took a break from that for a year. Kinda sounded like the last time I quit smoking too. But I keep coming back 🙂 Now, as far as the “snoking” goes, hubby and I are planning another big quit date in the near future. I hope this one sticks. The costs (@ $8 CND per pack here), the regular coughing, the smell, the messy butts outside, the nasty looks you get from people who catch you smoking ah… I could go on….. It sucks the life out of you, and it feels great while you are doing it. LOL. Sad and crazy. You are a great inspiration. It’s nice to see a famous scrapper with humanistic vices and an awesome sense of humour. Again, Thanks for sharing this and be proud of your one year mark!

    Reply
  182. Melissa says

    March 24, 2007 at 10:00 pm

    Congrats to you and congrats to me- this year will be 3 years smoke free. But you are so right on…..hit by a bus at 90? Yep- I’d be smoking too, and LOVING every minute of it.

    Reply
  183. Elizabeth says

    March 26, 2007 at 9:32 pm

    hi cathy, i don’t know why, but this post really hit me (in a good way).

    even though i’ve never struggled with nicotine addiction, i would say i have my fair share of addictive behaviors.

    i admire you for sharing so honestly. it inspires me to do the same. thanks.

    Reply

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