I had a revelatory moment this morning, in my bathroom, at 6:15 a.m., about the true meaning of value.
There I am, sitting in front of my old-school, theater-style make-up mirror, on this small wooden chair that came from Dan's grandparents, and before that, a funeral home… and I pulled out my trusted bottle of rubbing alcohol to dab ever-so-gently on the painful, likely-will-reach-the-surface in roughly 24 hours, just in time to visit Scrapbooks Too tomorrow night, with my precious, demure little friend, Donna Downey, festering lower jaw pimple… when it hit me:
I've had this bottle of alcohol since before I moved to Minnesota. In 1990.
I know this, because we don't have Skaggs Alpha Beta's in Minnesota. I know this, because I'm fairly certain this alcohol was part of a care package prepared especially for me, by my mom, to take on my journey from Grapevine, Texas, northward.
I've had this bottle, as of March, for 17 years.
How does Skaggs Alpha Beta make ANY money off selling rubbing alcohol, if a single bottle will last a shopper nearly half of their lives?
I know. It's remarkable.
Changing gears, but falling under the umbrella of value, did you know you can order gum on the internet? Now that is a revelation to me, and a very fortuitous thing indeed. Why you might be asking?
When I quit smoking, a year and one month ago, Extra Cinnamon Gum was one of the few pleasures I found in those early weeks, aside from curling up into a fetal ball and rocking myself gently, or calling my dear friend Tara and sobbing for 20-30 minutes at a time about how I had no identity without cigarettes and I would never, ever be able to do this—so on and so forth (Remember that, T? Did I ever thank you for that?) Anyhoo…
So I've relied fairly heavily on this particular brand of gum to stem the rising urges and to satiate my oral fixation, and general need to do something with my mouth other than eat. (Sorry, Dan…not going there right now.)
So about a month ago, my local grocer stopped stocking it. Rainbow freaking Foods stopped re-stocking my gum. So I tried Target. No Extra Cinnamon there either. Cub Foods. Nada. I began to believe it was a conspiracy of gum manufacturers to force me to either return to smoking, or eat myself into a coma.
I know, I know. What about Dentyne? Or Orbit? Let me say this: if ye were to walk a block in my addict shoes, ye shall know this: THEY ARE THE PALEST OF IMPOSTERS.
So on a whim last week, i thought, "I wonder if Amazon carries gum?" Done and done.
My box should arrive sometime before Saturday. Now that is value for you.
I can't wait to start ordering tampons and cheese from there, next.