Fanning the flames of self pity

Cathy ZielskeCZ Life67 Comments

That would be me.

First off, thanks for all the great info on repetitive stress/carpal tunnel. I devour that kind of stuff. Especially when believe me, I’m fairly convinced it’s far worse.

Secondly, I did go to a general practioner who looked at me with roughly the same interest I would demonstrate were I sitting in on a 90-minute lecture for different types of knots one can make with rope.

He said: If it’s still bothering you in two weeks, come back.

Okay… great. Thanks. I will. MAN…I FEEL BETTER!

I figured while I was there, I’d also mentioned the frequency with which I tend to urinate, (in a nutshell, I’m worse than a newborn when it comes to ‘sleeping through the night’ or making it through a three-hour movie like “Pirate’s of the Caribbean” without making three visits to the AMC stalls…) and then, roughly every 30 minutes or so, for most of the day.

He had me give a nice sample, then the lab results came back and he said: “Well, you don’t have a bladder infection or diabetes… so I don’t know what to tell you. Is the frequency causing a problem in your lifestyle in general?”

Well, gee… I don’t know. Except for the fact that three trips during one movie meant I had NO CLUE as to what the film was about. Would you call THAT a problem?

(Though I hear people who’ve seen the complete film, even without multiple bathroom breaks, say the same thing…)

So yesterday, while my weakend hand tried desperately to make magic with the mouse, I called Tara at some point and just went on and on and on and on. I think eventually, I might have tossed in the phrase: “But what do YOU think of me?” but I can’t back that up.

And that’s when I realized: you are simply fanning the flames of self pity.

Big loser.

But you know, there are days. Those days when all the freakin’ “What I know for sure” thoughts of gratitude are about as scarce as speed metal fans at a Howard Jones concert. And on such days, all I want to do is get the bonfire of despair going so strongly that people as far away as California will see the smoke.

I feel better today. I’ve managed to turn on my internal sprinkler system.

And that can only mean one thing: I am out of lame fire/water/depression metaphors for today.

Lucky you.

Cathy ZielskeFanning the flames of self pity

67 Comments on “Fanning the flames of self pity”

  1. #1

    Dear Cathy – I totally sympathize with your plight. I’ve been dealing with neck and shoulder pain (including tingling in my right arm) for several months and much to my chagrin, I keep getting the same crap. Wear this brace for a few weeks, take this ibuprofen, etc. and still no definite answer. I don’t like ambiguity – I want definite black/white answers! I want to know exactly what’s wrong, what causes it and how to fix. Now. Anyway, that being said, hang in there. Trust me, it’s not life threatening or career damaging – I’m a legal secretary (have been for 30+ years) and I’m still using my hands and wrists and I scrapbook almost every single night. Oh the abuse our bodies take and yet they continue to hang in there. About the bathroom thing? I’m no professional, but that seems to be an awful lot of bathroom trips. I think I’d contact a specialist (I think it’s a urologist) and see if they can’t give you something more definite. Wishing you the best! Julie

  2. #2

    I do hope you feel better soon. This kind of thing sucks. You feel like there is something wrong and then a dr. gives you nothing of value to either head you in the direction of the cure or smooth out the worry.

    I didn’t read the comments left on your other post so it may have already been mentioned. But have you seen a chiropractor? When my carpal tunnel starts hurting I go and have my wrist adjusted (as well as neck, back of course). Usually later that day or by the next day the pain is gone.

    Good luck!


  3. #3

    I am so with you on the bathroom thing. I have to go all the time too. And to think I didn’t go to the bathroom once kindergarden through high school! If I could refrain for 8 or 9 hours back then, why can’t I have a two hour span of time without having to go now??

  4. #4

    Repeatative stress injuries are (excuse the pun) a pain. You may want to look and see if you can tweak your set up to be more “ergonomic”, take breaks, etc. (I’m sure everyone gave you great advice yesterday!) Good luck & if it’s not better in 2 weeks – GO BACK!

    About the other problem. Go see a gyno-urologist. They specialize in frequent urination/stress incontinence/incontinence and will be able to talk more intelligently than your primary care Dr. Urination problems of all sorts are a lot more common than we women like to talk about. My friends and I call it the silent epidemic of the post-childbearing years.

  5. #5
    Joy B.

    I think that’s why they call it “practicing medicine”. You definitely need to see a urologist. As far as the carpal tunnel, the techniques for repairing that have advanced so much in the last few years that it’s almost an office procedure anymore. I hope you can get some answers and get to feeling better soon.

  6. #6

    Cathy I feel for you. Your doctor should have given you the 10 minutes of respect that you deserve when meeting with him. What is it with doctors these days?? Nobody wants to do the job they are paid to do. Talk about a lack of good quality care. You obviously have frequent urination issues and there are medications to help ease the symptoms of this disorder. I know several people who use them! Also, if you took the time to make the appointment for your wrist than it has been a problem for awhile anyway…why wait until it is worse?!

    I don’t think you are fanning any flames. You have issues that you want addressed my the physician who claims to care. That is not too much to ask! I recently was diagnosed with Chronic Hypertension (during my 24th week of pregnancy). When I mentioned that I was always read high and felt high strung, she looked back through my files, my OB realized that I have been hypertensive for over 7 years and not one doctor had bothered to see if it was a trend or just “white coat syndrome.” It is scary to think that I was a stroke waiting to happen all that time. We have to know our bodies and stand-up for ourselves…the alterenative is just too dangerous!

    I’m behind your plight!!

  7. #7

    Totally hear you. And that’s what you need right now. Validation. Somebody that will listen and not judge. Something is wrong and no one seems to be able to fix it and it sucks. Plain and simple.
    You’re not a loser. You’re not a whiner.
    You have pain and you want it to go away. Keep trying – get second opinions. Get rest. Take care of yourself. Don’t let it consume you and most of all don’t give up!

  8. #8

    Don’t you love having to pay co-pays for stellar advice like that?
    seriously, short of surgery (which you might not need) the only way to stop the pain is to stop the motion. That’s like telling you not to breathe. I take breaks and get pity rubs from my hubby. :0

  9. #9
    Patty C

    I, too, have had freq urinating problems and several years ago was diagnosed with IC – I treat the condition with a restricted diet — in a nutshell watch what you are eating and drinking! steer clear of caffeine, spicy foods, citrus and most fruits, alcohol, and anything with artificial ingredients. (there is a complete list i hang on my fridge) When i cleaned out the diet i was eating i started going to the bathroom only a few times a day like a normal person and i slept through the night. Try it and see if you feel better.

  10. #10

    Hey Cathy-

    they do have medication for your urination issue. It is most likely a result of having 2 adorable children. Anyho, I take one called vesicare. It is not bad, but it did make me gain some weight (about 10lbs) which is a sore subject I know, but it helped. My $.02.

  11. #11

    Everyone deserves a pity party once in a while! My sister has carpal tunnel probs, especially when working full time cutting hair and raising 3month old twins. She says that massages really help with the pain and mobility.

  12. #15

    I guess “see my response to the previous post” fits best – I replied there instead of here, especially on the wrist/hand problem. Oopsie!.

    You have legitimate concerns & issues…ask for a referral to a specialist. He obviously isn’t interested in helping you get well. Keep yammering until someone listens!! We’ve got your back!! Hugs.

  13. #16
    Damon Crawley

    Have you looked at a more ergonomic-friendly keyboard/mouse such as this?

    What about your desk height? Are you hands up higher than you elbows when you type? That is not good either. Raise your chair height and get an adjustable foot rest so your feet don’t dangle in the air. Those things can help immensely.

    My work has a fully articulating keyboard rest (tilts forwards/back and adjusts up and down? as well has an electric motor to where I can bring the whole thing (screens and all) up to standing height. Really nice when you are tired of sitting.

  14. #17
    Ngaire Bartlam

    I hear you…
    pity parties are more than ok.. when you have health issues and pain and the damn “going to the loo 200 times a day” thing..

    re the wrist… go the ergonomic and chriopractor route…
    and try heat packs too.. i love a good heat pack.

    re the pee -o-rama… I too suffered this after my girls births… and i found the good ol pelvic floor lifts made a huge difference,,, i put red sticker spots all over the house.. and lifted every time i saw one.
    also when you are home? just try holding on just one minute more.. and then two minutes more…
    the bladder is a funny thing… its like a council budget in a way.. if you only use a small proportion of what it can hold ( spend a small proportion of your budget..) next time you will get less…
    over a long period of time the space ( budget) you have to use will become less…. make sense?? so you feel fuller and need to pee a lot more regularly… holding on for longer ( using a bigger proportion of the budget) means that the bladder will stretch to hold more… ( your budget will get bigger>>)

    man I hope this makes some sort of sense to you sweetie!

    and for what it is worth, (seeing as you have NO idea who i am bar a couple of emails..)
    i think you are awesome and beautiful and entirely capable…
    and every woman needs to hear that every so often…


  15. #18
    Madeline R

    This is why I don’t go to doctors any more, except for stitches or broken bones. I use a naturopath, a massage therapist (so great!) and did used to go to a chiropractor. Haven’t been to the Dr. in twelve years. I have never been better. I love watching the Mcdreamy ones on TV but haven’t always had such a good experience with the real thing.

    On another note, I came here to tell you that I am listening to Crowded House, as I write this, for the first time in years and am soooo loving it. Thanks for the obsessing. I’m glad to have them back in my life.

  16. #20

    ah, self-pity.

    as in, ‘but why didn’t he notice in the first 15 minutes i was home that i had had my MY HAIR TOTALLY STRAIGHTENED when i’ve worn it curly-curly for almost TWO FREAKIN’ YEARS??

    or, as in, when i offer to do a big favor for a friend via email (one of those wow i’m so clever and SUCH a good friend he’ll so be amazed! kinds of things) and not only does he not say, “WOW! thanks, Zanne! that was the most fabulous offer i’ve ever had, and i would so appreciate it, and thank you thank you thank you, you ROCK more than the BEATLES!’, he didn’t even answer the email, although he answered an email i sent him at the same time about something else? that kind of self-pity?

    or, as in, after i’ve run around all day in the heat for EVERYONE ELSE and gotten home after my husband (the same cad who didn’t notice my gorgeious hair!) i find that he drank the LAST COLD BEER IN THE HOUSE and i’m still expected to cook dinner in that CREMATORIUM of a kitchen?

    and all this happened in the same day? now, THAT’S self-pity. and if you want, you can all come to my party.

    if you bring the (COLD!) Gordon Biersch.

    and compliment my hair.

  17. #21

    As someone else mentioned in the comments, I also have IC – Interstitial Cystitis. One of the BIG symptoms is frequent urination. You might check out the website: for more information about the symptoms. (I am “vm” on the message boards.)

    Could totally NOT be that, but it’s worth reading up on it b/c there are ways to treat it. It also could just be overactive bladder which is much easier to treat.

  18. #23

    So just before my alarm went off this morning, I was dreaming that I had called you up on the phone, and that we had been yakking for almost an hour, and you were funny and awesome (and so was I – hey, it was my dream) and we were just the best of friends, and then when the clock radio came on, I slammed the snooze button because I was just enjoying the witty repartee so much, and I woke up thinking, “I have to tell her!” (as if) and then I thought, “Oh my God, no, I am a weird stalker!” and then I thought, “Nah, she’ll think it’s funny.” But you probably still won’t call me back. The end.

  19. #24

    If it continues to bother you (the carpal tunnel symptoms), you might want to see a neurologist. I’ve had symptoms for years that come and go and they never seem to be around when I’m visiting the doctor which makes it hard to diagnose (and describe sometimes) but I’ve had friends recommending a visit to a neurologist. Also, yoga sometimes helps. Good luck!

  20. #25

    Hey Cathy, that urination thing runs in the famiy of women. Had it checked in to with further testing and you don’t want me to explain how they test for incontenence and frequent urination. Its ugly. Be thankful your doctor didn’t want to pursue it and hope you can hold off as long as you can. Pam

  21. #26

    As for the frequent urination, I have one word. DETROL. It changed my life. I take the lowest dose and have had no side effects whatsoever.

  22. #27

    Bless your heart, you had a reason to have a pity party after your doctor dismissed your concerns! I posted yesterday and hoped you were going to see an orthopedist, preferably someone who specializes in hand injuries. I’ve had more than my share of orthopedic injuries over the years and have found that an ortho who specializes in sports medicine is also a good bet. Those athletes who get paid big bucks seek out the best docs to fix whatever is ailing them so that they can keep those big bucks rolling in. As to your frequency issue, I had the same problem. I never passed a gas station without stopping! I cut caffeine out altogether and that made a big difference in my life. Caffeine irritates the bladder and the more you consume, the more you need to “go”. Depending on how much caffeine you consume each day, you might have a caffeine withdrawal headache for a day or so, but in the long run, you’ll feel a lot better.

  23. #29

    Ditch the doc.
    You’re not just a patient, you’re a healthcare consumer. Go where you get better customer service.

    Personally, I made the decision years ago to see only female docs. I felt I was being treated with direspect by the male doctors I was seeing and I decided to make a change. I’m sure this was mostly about perception on my part, but then, isn’t everything?

    I hope you feel better soon.

  24. #30

    We all agree… ditch the MD. You had real concerns and got absolutely nothing for your $15 co-pay. Try the diet suggestions as mentioned before. The newest trend in women’s medicine is Incontinence Clinic’s (Kirkland, WA- has a fabulous one) They do all kinds of scans, PT and women’s support. Women are getting fabulous results. Look for one in your area. For your hand, I agree with all the ergo suggestions too. Desk height is a real contributor, especially if you have any neck pain. Check out acupuncture for all of those symptoms too. Medicine is all that you make it and sometimes traditional medicine is not the answer. Hoping for better results in the near future for you.

  25. #31
    lorena b.

    it’s not self-pity. i tell you, you go to get answers because after all, they WENT TO MEDICAL SCHOOL!! and what do you get? Lame ass answers that you probably have already asked yourself not to mention you had to pay $20 for said lame ass answers. can you tell i have just gone through the same crap with these “so-called medical professionals”? it has to be some kind of ridiculous conspiracy!!

  26. #32

    Hey, we all have *those* days so you’re entitled to your throw your own pity party :)-we’ll all be there to make you laugh! The one thing I remember from my high school chemistry class ages ago is my teacher telling us how (sorry) urine that’s kept in goes all around the body again, merrily oozing some of those salty wastes back into your system as it passes all those semi-permeable membranes (and eventually all those salts join hands and form a lovely kidney stone)… ugh, it was vivid enough to keep me going again and again like an energizer bunny even when I don’t have to 😀 So here’s a happy thought: at least you know you are absolutely CLEAN, inside and out! Have a great day!

  27. #34
    Annie Adams

    Pity Parties are lots of fun! You wake up the next day without a hangover…you actually feel awesome!

  28. #35

    I hear ya. Can I just say that my Dr. has all the personality of an artichoke? Wait, artichokes have a little personality…
    Anyway! You are incredibly witty! I’m thinking a book about life in general should be in your near future. Would you get right on that please? While you’re contemplating subject matter, read “I Feel Bad About My Neck”, by Nora Ephron. Quick, easy read and it will leave you smiling for sure!

  29. #36

    As much pain as the mouse can cause me, I have found that when I use hubby’s laptop and a touch pad, my shoulder, arm, wrist, etc all felt just fine. Not my preferred method, but it definitely provided a much-needed respite for my right appendange.

  30. #39

    skip your gp and see a urologist…preferably female..if your hand is actually weak (not just numb) see a neurologist and get an image of your neck (yes I really mean neck)

    be well

  31. #40
    Lee W

    Hang in there. Go see a specialist about both things- ortho and urologist. You could have cystitis, which basically is an irritable bladder (no infection). I’ve been wearing a wrist brace for 6 weeks for de Quervains tendonitis, runs from the base of my thumb up my wrist (from carrying too chunky babies). It is getting better. You can get prescription NSAIDS that you take 2 times a day, rather than every 4 hours. I still work as a nurse and carry my kids, so don’t worry yet. Good luck, sister…

  32. #41

    You know, if your self pity bothered us, we’d stop reading…..yet, we come back for more!
    I had carpal tunnel release January 8th. It was the best thing I ever did. I dealt with continuous numbness, pain from my fingertips to my shoulder and weakness. Luckily I had the surgery when I did, as I’m now 26 weeks pregnant with twins. Yep, found out I was pregnant 2 days after surgery!
    As for the frequent urination, you may need a medication to help things out, or your uterus/bladder may be getting droopy. Mention it to your GYN at your next appointment. They have more experience with this sort of issue and would discuss options beyond medication.
    Good luck.

  33. #42

    girl, you kill me! the only thing worse than, “come back in two weeks” is a look of shock and horror and lots of scribbling on his or her notepad. that can scare the beejeebes out of you!

    i’m raisin’ my beer to you as I type and toasting to health, happiness and free-flowing shiraz!

  34. #43
    Meredith S.

    You have the best sense of humor and amazing writing style. I SO enjoy your blog. Sorry your having a rough time, but it sure makes for good reading. 🙂

  35. #44

    I am all for chiropractors. I would have married one if I had planned ahead 🙂 I get tingling in my finger tips and I head in for a neck adjustment. There is a real connection between all of the nerve endings.

  36. #45

    Hang in there – I’ve had CTS for years – it got worse after being pregnant (thanks kids!!). Folks have told me about chiropractors working for them, and about “cold laser therapy”…for me, I do ibuprofen, and ice them periodically. Wear the braces, go see a neurologist. And if you need the surgery, do it. Once your nerves are gone, they’re gone! As I type this, I can’t feel my middle finger on my right hand…thank goodness for touch typing! Hang in there!

  37. #46

    I have to chime in and reinforce all the advice of Those Wise Ones Who Commented Before Me: kick the unresponsive M.D. to the curb, investigate chiropractic, and see about a referral to someone else for the frequent urination problem. I had terrible wrist and arm pain a couple of years ago when I was doing my comprehensive exams and finishing my dissertation, and chiropractic, regular massage on my neck and arms, and a new keyboard tray and desk chair made the difference for me. Hang in there, sister.

  38. #47

    Have you tried cranberry juice or cranberry extract tablets? They can help with keeping your urinary tract healthy 🙂
    DH’s grandma was running to pee every hour and the cranberry stuff did the trick. Well when I say ‘running’ she wasn’t actually running as such, but she was pretty quick for a 95 year old.

  39. #48

    It is a true gift to be able to make a pity party sound like something I’d LOVE to attend. YOUR pity parties are MUCH funnier than mine.

    Our old expression was ‘watch out for the ring around your butt from sitting on the pity pot too long’, which actually segues nicely into one of the things you’re on the pity pot FOR – isn’t it great when things just come together like that?

    On a more practical note, have you tried the Wacom tablets? They have a mouse and a pen, so you can alternate your computer communication methods, maybe give your wrist a break (NOT break your wrist). OR – you could always teach Cole to just follow your every command, as you sit behind him going ‘now, add a text box; go to fill color, change it to orange; no, MORE orange than that one; good! ok now type in “My Bladder” and use the Comic font. Ok – good work Cole. You may download 2 more songs as payment.”

    Just a thought…

  40. #49
    September Radecki

    Hey Cathy, If CKU was in San Jose this week, and you were here, I’d be dragging my chiropractor over to fix your hand and explain why it does that. I’ve been on computers for 12-14 hours for over 15 years and I used to have big problems until I found Dr. Grace Lau-Basista in San Jose and her husband, Dr. David Basista. They are fantastic, forward-thinking chiros, not the old “bone-cracking” nutjobs. Dr. Dave adjusts my hands on a regular basis and all the symptoms went away. We have tons of friends who’ve had surgery and it didn’t work or made it worse. Be SURE you explore ALL non-surgical options FIRST. Braces won’t put things back where they belong if they have slid out of position….

    Best of luck!

  41. #50
    Heather H.

    I think you need a new doctor. Perhaps a female one. You experience is what I found with several male doctors. Now I avoid them at all costs. And sometimes, we all need a little pity party now and then!

  42. #51

    I have a 12 step process to fix this problem…please follow along….

    1. Call friends to find out if they like their doctor.
    2. Call doctor to see if they are accepting patients.
    3. If doctor is accepting patients, set up an appointment. If not, call your 2nd or 3rd option until you find one.
    4. Call your regular doctor.
    5. Fire him or her quickly.
    6. Go to your new doctor, with the knowledge that YOU WILL BE LISTENED TO.
    7. Step seven through 12, you don’t need.

    Honestly, there is no reason in the world you should accept that. EVER. Just like everything in life you hire and fire the best to take care of things. Would you hire a cleaning lady that stole things from you all the time and keep her around? Same thing. Why you should accept a dismissive attitude or a treatment as if you are a hypochondriac is beyond me. You deserve better. Medicine is about advocacy and if they aren’t your best advocate – ditch ’em like a bad habit. There are plenty of others who will listen.

    My sister has battled her weight and digestive issues for years. She could not lose weight no matter what she did AND she had severe stomach pain that never seemed to go away. The doctor she has been seeing and hand’t gotten anywhere with (he gave her valium and some other crap telling her it was all in her head), pulled her 5 year old son aside (at the time) and right in front of her said ‘Does your mommy sneak candy bars when no one is looking?’ She fired him on the spot. 5 years later, she is seeing a wonderful doctor who actually took the time to listen to her. She has not only lost weight, but she is being treated for 2 other serious ailments that could have harmed her. It took her frustration and anger to finally move to a doctor who cared.

    I have heard this over again – Cathy, take it from someone who has tendonitis issues in her wrists – find someone who will listen. It doesn’t get any easier and it is a real issue. Do not tolerate this nonsense. You deserve to be heard. Good luck! xo

  43. #52
    Kimberly Kwan

    dude…sounds like you need a new GP. Weather your symptoms are real or imagined, the nonchlance with which s/he dealt with you is alarming. Sadly, I sometimes think familiarity breeds complacency when it comes to GPs…I switched mine last year after feeling the same way and changed to a younger (ok, my age…mid 40’s), hipper female doc who listens to all my “stuff” then DEALS! I feel like we, at our age, KNOW when stuff is “not right” with our bodies, and it is their job to “hear” that and help us solve the riddles, not just pooh pooh us. If in fact we ARE being wussies and whiners, THEN they can tell us that, but not as a standard response to every complaint. Good luck!

  44. #53

    I admit I have not read all the comments, but it certainly sounds like you probably have overactive bladder syndrome. With all the TV commercials for it, I’m surprised your doc didn’t mention it. It’s something that is in nearly every gynecologic medical journal these days and I know it filters into the general medical materials as well. There’s no excuse for it not to even come up for discussion during a work-up for the symptoms you describe. Period.

    And, get thee to an orthopedic surgeon or at least someone who can fit you properly for the wrist splints. I dealt with CPS this fall and it was no fun. Laying off the keyboard did nothing for me.

  45. #54
    Kate Greenslade

    Hey CZ,
    re Carpal Tunnel. Do you have one of those older style wooden rulers? If you strap that to the inside of your wrist, for a few days (or even at night while you sleep), that should help (this was a tip given to me by my midwife when I was preggers and had CT). As for the frequent urination, it could be that your bladder has become used to being emptied as soon as there is a certain amount in there. So this might be more a case of breaking the habit (Learned response) rather than there being anything “wrong” with you. KWIM? You seemed to be ok at CC06 in Wellington, which is why I am thinking of this.

    Take care, Kate

  46. #55

    54 comments so far and not a one of us minds your self pity. You go ahead & wallow, we will sit back & listen!

    I worked for a practice of 3 urologists before I became a SAHM. I hate to say it, but the first thing a urologist is going to recommend is that you stop caffeine. I know, I know, nearly impossible. Saying goodbye to that morning cup of coffee is going to be torture. Welcome to the zombies club!

  47. #56

    If your insurance covers her, you HAVE to see Rochelle Taube at Edina Sports Health and Wellness. She is well worth the drive across town (her office is just by F’view Southdale) She is the most awesome “sports” doc…i.e. she knows everything orthopaedic and will listen and send you to a specialist if you need it. She is a g.p. and would also talk about the urination thing.

    She has helped me through plantar fasciaitis, Achilles tendonitis, numb lower leg (I was crossing my legs too much she said. I stopped and it went away!), weak glutes (yeah…was causing hip pain), lower back pain, lower arm pain. As well as a bunch of chick stuff. When I have my annual exam she talks at least 10 minutes to me before I even have to take my clothes off! The practice is committed to wholistic health care.

    She is always ranked in that Minneapolis/St. Paul mag where docs rate each other as a top sports doc in the cities. She has so improved my quality of life. I would not hesitate to recommend her.

  48. #57
    Judy Peyton

    I don’t think it’s self pity when you are actively seeking a solution. Are you able to go straight to a specialist or is your insurance requiring to see your GP first? I say – take charge – forget that…well, if it’s not better in two weeks crap………’s not better now and you need it to be. In my opinion self pity is whining about something without any action – so CHARGE!!

  49. #59

    If you decide to pursue the frequency issue, please see the best urogynecologist in your city. Recently my house has been Pity Party Central, all because of a crappy doctor and his attempts at fixing some of my similar issues.
    Good luck to you! I hope you are back to normal…er, back to yourself, soon. 🙂

  50. #60

    oh how i love reading you!…i have no advice…just thoroughly impressed that you can make even a hurting wrist & frequent urination amusing…

  51. #61

    Cathy, if it makes you feel any better, I live in California and I’m not seeing any smoke yet. ; ) Like others have said — advocation for yourself. You deserve better attention and treatment than you’ve gotten so far.

  52. #62

    Sorry to hear you are hosting a pity party! It is always so hard to get others to come and party with you 😉 I can suggest that Cranberry tablets… it helps no end with UTIs and helps strengthen the walls and linings of something down there.. it is a good stuff… worth a shot.

    As for your arm.. sorry to hear that. I was electrocuted in 97, and burnt the inside of my arm. It wrecked nerves and ‘stuff’ in there. I now only have 40% power. Since getting zapped, I have worked at a mouse nearly every day since, and I can completely understand the pain and tiredness. There are no cures.. rest it! I dont have carpal tunnel etc (i just burned mine..LOL) but I find resting it when not on the PC works, I manage it as best I can. I have been told that a tablet/pen cuts back on the repetitive strain..worth a try?

  53. #63
    Cindy Gordon

    Cathy, Personally, I think a one-day pity party is a great gift to give yourself!! I always limit myself to one day (so I can’t get TOO carried away) and usually find I don’t need the whole day – but believe me, if I do need it, I use it!!! Allows me to wallow in my sorrow, frustration, anger – or other compaint of the day – without as much guilt cos’ I know it’s temporary. Hope today brings you a new day full of happy moments. Oh, and I personally know of several people who have had GREAT success with surgery for carpal tunnel – realize that’s not probably something you want to do, but it’s a viable option!!!

  54. #64

    Howard Jones? As in the 80s Howard Jones? I didn’t know anyone remembered him. Anyway, lots of Diet Coke makes you pee – do you drink that? it’s very diuretic…. As for GPs, in the UK they ALWAYS say come back in xxxx if it’s still bothering you. So now, I just tell them straight off it’s been bothering me for 2 weeks !!

  55. #66

    As another frequent “goer”, my advice is to ask your (new) doctor for a sample of Detrol or Enablex or another bladder control medication. There are side effects for some people, dry mouth or constipation, but I don’t have either symptom. One pill a day makes a huge difference in your comfort level. And you’ll actually be able to make it all the way through a trip to Target without stopping at the bathroom! Amazing, but true….

  56. #67
    sue bull

    hey cathy!
    iyanla vansant said ‘it’s ok to feel bad and get better’, ie paging cathy zielske – pity party for 1!!! is ok, coz tomorrow (or the next day) you will feel better! i had the same prob. with the ‘loo’ – in fact after i returned from living in the states! there were so many public restrooms everywhere, i just went, and went and went. in the end i had to RE-TRAIN my bladder. get distracted, do something else, get up, move about, just don’t go. if on the other hand, you have URGE INCONTINENCE, go see a specialist who won’t fob you off – it SO impacts on your lifestyle. i could never go ANYWHERE without scoping the place out for the lav…

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