No. That won't be happening any time soon, unless you believe in immaculate conception happening twice in a few millenia. (And i'm not trying to assert false claims to virginity or anything. Close though. No…the payload is being delivered empty, if you get my drift.)
Alright then, moving quickly along.
But back when the payloads were NOT quite so empty, we got two great kids from the process. And yesterday, one of those kids got to open a present for his birthday. Sometimes, his indifference can really surprise us.
His other present was the jersey he's wearing, a really lovely Joe Mauer Twins number.
Following the gift opening, we headed out to dinner, and because it was his birthday, it was HIS choice, of course. Now…during the past week, he'd said he wanted to go to Fridays. This is always a safe bet for the entire family. Nothing too crazy. Nothing that will make us instantly ill. Fairly safe and predictible.
Then he pulled the old switcharoo about 15 minutes before departure: he wanted to go to O.C.B., aka Old Country Buffet.
I would like to apologize in advance to those of you who frequent and rather enjoy the OCB. I mean you no disrespect. But when Dan informed me of Cole's decision, he looked as though someone had just told him that he'd been banned for life from fantasy baseball.
With Cole out of earshot, we consoled each other, trying not to dwell on the impending culinary delights offered by OCB, that may or may not have been made fresh that day…and decided, you know what? It's HIS birthday, and we're not going to ruin it by imposing parental veto power over OCB. We'll grin and eat it.
So we get there, and there's a line, and Dan turn to me and says, "Oh God, there's a line." And for Dan to take the Lord's name in vain like that, you KNOW he's not feelin' the love.
We get in line, and I'm quite certain that if someone had snapped a picture of the looks on our respective faces (me and Dan, that is) you would have thought we'd just realized that we'd driven our car over a box of puppies.
The line starts moving slowly, and I was completely overwhelmed by the smell of old cigarette smoke, gently wafting off every single person standing on either side of us, and we keep asking the boy if he's sure this is what he wants to do, when Dan blurts out:
"You know, Cole, I did say I'd take you here Thursday, for the last day of school…" And I'm thinking, "You what?" but kept my cool, knowing I could quite easily come up with a reason why I couldn't go on Thursday.
And Cole, who at that moment realized he'd forgotten to bring his OCB Kid Eats Free card, suggests that we run home to get it, and then…it happened: he saw the light of reason and said, "Let's just go to Fridays."
And suddenly, eight hours of labor WAS in fact, worth it again.
There's more to the story, but i'll say this: a good time was had by all, and when I came home to translate my dinner into Weight Watchers points, it turned out that i had actually eaten three days worth of points in 45 minutes.
Then I made this in an effort to make amends for pressuring Cole into making a change of venue and the many years of therapy he'll need as a result of NOT going to the OCB, because THAT is was Mom's do on birthdays.
And don't even THINK of trying to move it off this table until Saturday.