How to lose a dog

Cathy ZielskeCZ Life32 Comments

The night before last, for nearly 5 good minutes, I lost Brandi the dog. In my home.

It's hard to lose a 75-pound chocolate lab who can't hear, see or walk well. I realize this. But when I came home from dropping off my sick G5 at the Apple Store, I came in and she was nowhere to be found on the main floor of my house. So, I went upstairs and checked the bedrooms. Nothing. Ah…the basement! So I went down to my mildly scary basement. No dog there, either.


So I went back upstairs, to re-check the rooms…you know, look on the other side of the bed and in the closets. Nothing.

I wasn't panicked or anything. I actually thought, "Great. You've lost someone's dog who you don't even know."

When I came back downstairs, I realized my mistake. I didn't look closely enough at the couch in the family room, where she was wedged in between the throw pillows and completely camouflaged in her spot.

It never dawned on me that a dog who can barely walk would leap onto the furniture to catch a few z's. And besides that, Chippie never jumped on furniture. Chippie didn't really move throughout the day from her chosen location. Geez, Brandi. What's up with that?

In Other Newz

• There is a restaurant up in Nisswa, Minn., near the place we stay, and it's called Zorbaz. And every single 's' on the Zorbaz menu has been replaced with a 'z.' And it's the most obnoxious thing after a while, if you try to read it. Our pizzaz are zpilling over with zpecial zaucez. And yet strangely, something about it makes me want to do the zame thing in my perzonal life.

• My cute friend and hot mama, Emily just sent me one of these cool camera straps in the mail, and it will look so lovely adorning my neck. Thanks, Em!

• You know how your computer keyboard gets all mucky after years of use? And you try not to notice it, then all of sudden one day, it's as if you've been sharing it with a host of dirty-handed gnomes? Yeah, me too. When I go back to pick up my computer, I'm grabbing me one of these new Apple keyboards. That oughta stave off my iPhone twitch for a good month, at least.

• The Minnesota State Fair starts on Thursday. Tonight, I will be making the sign that I wrote about last year. Anyone remember what it's going to say? (Of course, you can't go back that far in my archives, because remember, I freaked out and pulled my blog that one time? because I needed to get in touch with me? Remember that one? Yeah…that was classic.)

• No other newz.

Cathy ZielskeHow to lose a dog

32 Comments on “How to lose a dog”

  1. #1

    wellll, since it is the fair…i will randomly guess “Looking for all things good to eat on a stick.” am i close? have fun at the fair!

  2. #3

    I remember (vaguely) that post.. you were working late, like 10pm-ish and there were fireworks visible from your window. OH… you were fussing about parking.


  3. #4

    Wasn’t something like “I’m your neighbor, Moron”? You flashed it to those trying to get you to park on their lawn on your way through your own neighborhood.


  4. #5

    I can verify the fact that a dog will jump on furniture no matter how bad they feel. My dog actually has her own couch, basically it’s a loveseat we don’t normally sit in and it’s right in front of a window. And once a dog’s feet touch furniture there is no getting them off ever! 🙂

  5. #7

    Probably something like, “No Fair Parking!”
    Are you going to the fair this year? That’s all anybody talks about at work, the fair food. I know I’m going at least a couple of times. You just can’t see everything in one shot. Wish I lived as close as you. I almost work close enough to be able to go for lunch, almost.

  6. #8

    I think it was a sign selling your yard for fair parking, since I remember you thinking that your neighbors were making a killing on it. Maybe that’ll pay for your iPhone!! 🙂

  7. #9
    Karen K

    Like Alyson, I know it had to do with your neighbors hawking their parking spaces to you as you drove the gauntlet up to YOUR residence. But I think the word “moron” was just your thought bubble – lol. It was a lightbulb moment because it was the first post I read on your blob and such a funny post, I did LOL and then I had to bookmark you. Maybe it was something like “I LIVE here.”

  8. #10

    Not as bad as when I “lost” Ryan for about 15 minutes. He fell asleep between the train table and the coffee table. I was panicked after looking for 10 minutes.

    I hope that keyboard works for you. Looks a little flat and I would worry about your wrist.

  9. #11

    Zounds like exactly zomething the retriever lineage would do! You might just be surprised what Chippie does when you’re gone!

    Enjoyed the post….it made me laugh today – which I zorely needed!


  10. #13

    and if my 13 year old dog doesn’t great me at the door (or very shortly after that) I start freaking out that she has passed away and that I need to find her before the boys do and are traumatized for life!!
    PLEASE blog about the fair!! between you and ProntoPup I get my virutal MN Fair fix!

  11. #18
    Heather H.

    Wednezday nightz are T-zhirt nightz at Zorbaz and that iz where we are headed for dinner. Any zmall pizza for $6 with every Zorbaz t-zhirt. Yum. The Ottertail Lake Zorbaz is the closest to us.
    And the Z thing on the menu is totally anoying but getz in your head, huh?
    Glad you found the dog. And I think it was a no parking sign, but I also think you should go for it this year and pimp your lawn. By the end of the fair I’m sure you could run over and pick up your iphone. Just a thought.

  12. #19

    Cathy! Trying to make up my mind on a new PC or Mac Laptop. What to chime in on the debate? Check out my blog link above…the Mac lovers have been defending my Apple store salesperson! So he was kinda cute…but didn’t seem all there to me…

  13. #20

    I totally remember that blog post! It was funny. I wish I remembered every word you said. Sadly, my memory is not that great…it should be. Sigh. Those camera straps are so cool!

  14. #21

    I so remember that post about the state fair too…I thought it was ‘I f’ing live here you moron’…although I could have added the profanity in my own imagination 🙂
    Either way it was funny…and by the way I love Zorbaz’s!!

  15. #23

    Oooo perty keyboard. I recently got the Logitech wireless mouse & keyboard set for Macs, and it rocks. The mouse tracks sooo much better, and fits my hand much more ergonomically, I don’t know what I ever did without it!

    Chocolate labs are totally sneaky! My parents have one who’s now 12, and the only reason we find her sometimes is because she breathes really hard in her old age. That and she’s practically your shadow sometimes. 🙂

  16. #25
    greta williams

    Was just thinking the other day: “I hope that Cathy Z doesn’t go and do something crazy again like stop blogging again!; she’s just too damn funny and a great jumpstart to my day!” No more self-discovery, dearie! – you’ve got a world of humor-hungry women out there getting lost in the Cathy Vortex!


  17. #26

    *WHEW!* I was worried you REALLY DID lost Brandi! *lol* I’ve ‘lost’ my kitties before (easy to do in a big house) but never my dog. He’s 85 pounds and is Captain Obvious 😉

  18. #27

    Loved your post about Zorbaz! It’s one of our favorite places. Thanks for making me laugh every day. Don’t stop blogging!! Have some Sweet Martha’s cookies and unlimited milk for 50 cents for me at the fair! We live in OH now and miss the Great MN Get Together!

  19. #29

    I quit smoking and totally forgot to check your blog. Weird. I’m usually obsessive about it.

    Chantix has messed me up!

    But I do like the z’s thing. That could be big. Also, I heard Crowded House on my radio this afternoon and thought about Cathy Z, scrapbooking goddess who needs to be smacked! I wonder if that’s what Crowded House intended when they went back to the studio…..

  20. #30

    No, not at all, I don’t remember that time you left me and stopped blogging… I’m sure that never happened, that would have been devastating – like the kind of thing you would block, like a traumatic event.

  21. #32

    Oh you made me laugh and made my heart ache at the same time!
    Years ago I had a lovely/loving black lab that took over the couch. She would lie with her head on a throw pillow with one ear flopped over the top of the pillow.
    Thanks for the memory…
    – Lee
    P.S. We use an Apple laptop, but I was still lusting over that sleek and snazzy new keyboard when we saw it in person the other day!!!

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