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Order now and get a free red mouth ball!

October 5, 2007

Order now and get a free red mouth ball!

I delete 99 percent of the tacky junk mail that lands in my inbox, but there is always that odd one percent that causes me to take note, usually when it says something like, "Fill out this survey and a brand new iPhone will be yours!" or "Wish you had those perky boobs of yesterday?"

Or this one, which addresses a concern that is near and dear to me, because unfortunately, I sleep next to a "loud breather."

Snore1
But the more I looked at it, I became increasingly more suspicious as to the REAL purpose behind My Snoring Solution. Something about the head gear apparatus was a little too country-boys-in-the-basement in that one train wreck of a scene in Pulp Fiction. You remember…when Bruce Willis' character decided to be a good egg afterall and save Ving Rhames'… ahem, butt.

So there's the first issue I'm having.

And the second is the shot on the left, which leads you in a totally different direction, suggesting that the other way to stem the problem of snoring is apparently as simple as growing an Amish beard.

It's a fine line between fetish gear and churning your own butter. That's all I'm saying.

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Comments

  1. vanessa says

    October 5, 2007 at 6:29 am

    I love reading your post, they make me chuckle and at seven in the morning! It’s a good way to start my day.

    Reply
  2. Jan C. says

    October 5, 2007 at 7:03 am

    Ooohhh–wouldn’t that be a sexy little number for your hubby to have to wear to bed. Reminds me of the gizmo my dentist made me to help me stop grinding my teeth at night. Made me feel like a real siren every night as I slid under the covers!

    Reply
  3. bridget says

    October 5, 2007 at 7:13 am

    ooooooooooooooooooooooo,thats just a little too close to ‘squeal piggy squeal’. I can alomost hear the banjo in the background.Din-ninnow-now-now-now-now-now-nown
    I love reading your blog,guaranteed to bring a smile to my face
    Thanks Cathy

    Bridget in Blighty

    Reply
  4. GlennaB says

    October 5, 2007 at 7:22 am

    LOL, looks like a jock strap on the face to me!!

    Reply
  5. Kitsa says

    October 5, 2007 at 7:30 am

    Too funny–my kids are gonna miss their school bus. I’m so busy laughing that I can’t get myself together and take them out front.

    Reply
  6. kelaur says

    October 5, 2007 at 7:53 am

    Might be a dumb question, but the ad does not expain what the red mouth ball is? Too funny. And ONLY $60…

    Reply
  7. Krystyn says

    October 5, 2007 at 7:58 am

    Yep – looks kinda creepy to me too!!

    Reply
  8. AmyJ says

    October 5, 2007 at 8:14 am

    Oh my goodness, I can’t believe the price on that thing. I’m just curious about the people who would actually buy it.

    Reply
  9. valerie says

    October 5, 2007 at 8:27 am

    my favorite part is the verbage “90 day no questions asked return policy.” just a little on the scary side.

    on the other hand, it COULD make an intersting part of my Halloween costume.

    Reply
  10. shelleymay says

    October 5, 2007 at 8:37 am

    you friggin NEVER FAIL to crack me up, CZ… thank you for bringing some laughter into my otherwise bleak start to today!

    Reply
  11. RachelG says

    October 5, 2007 at 8:40 am

    Oh I so love it when you make me laugh out loud!

    Reply
  12. nancy says

    October 5, 2007 at 8:44 am

    Zed is dead baby. Zed’s dead.

    Reply
  13. Michael Ann says

    October 5, 2007 at 8:55 am

    The neighbors have got to think I’m strange laughing so loud. You are a riot!

    Reply
  14. Grace says

    October 5, 2007 at 9:13 am

    hahaaha I have not laughed this hard in such a long time! I was skiming through it thinking oh interesting that is a different “style” of scrapping for Cathy….then I actually read ad had to read the whole blog and was wetting my pants…who could sleep next to someone wearing that thing? LOL! either get scared or pee in your pants! hahaha thanks so much for the funnies

    Reply
  15. Helle says

    October 5, 2007 at 9:38 am

    OMG!! My family think I´m bonkers, the way I laugh when reading your blog. Thanks!!

    Reply
  16. sara says

    October 5, 2007 at 10:14 am

    Bwahahahahaaha! O.M.G.

    Thanks for a great laugh to start my day.

    Reply
  17. Heather (in Scotland) says

    October 5, 2007 at 10:53 am

    “It’s a fine line between fetish gear and churning your own butter. That’s all I’m saying.” – LOL!

    Reply
  18. Robyn says

    October 5, 2007 at 11:12 am

    I saw the graphic before I read your words and I swear my very first thought was that looks a little too much like something the Gimp would be wearing. LOL

    Reply
  19. nic says

    October 5, 2007 at 11:16 am

    me too – with robyn above – literally my first thought was, “whoa – bring out the gimp!”

    but i laughed out my lunch at the fine line between fetish gear and butter churning – i love how you make me laugh

    Reply
  20. Krista says

    October 5, 2007 at 11:33 am

    Dude, I just laughed so hard. Thank you so much. I desperately needed that today. Why am I now picturing Dan with said Amish beard???? He and Liam could be twins. “Fire In The Belly” indeed.

    Reply
  21. Ronni H says

    October 5, 2007 at 11:48 am

    Honestly, what freaks me out most, is how that cat is sleeping with it’s paw all funky. Perhaps I haven’t had enough coffee yet today, but that cat’s paw looks a little, uh, suggestive? ‘Specially if you look at it with your head tilted. What cat do you know that sleeps like that??

    Reply
  22. Amber says

    October 5, 2007 at 12:00 pm

    OMG… this post made me laugh so hard. My husband snores, and there is no way that I could ever get any sleep lying next to him in that contraption. I would be way to busy laughing my butt off every night. Then again, maybe I should get one, my abs could use the exercise 🙂

    Reply
  23. Monica Brown says

    October 5, 2007 at 12:42 pm

    Not only is that the oddest ad I’ve ever seen, but your comments had me laughing out loud! Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
  24. Vicki Rundlett says

    October 5, 2007 at 12:52 pm

    Thanks Cathy – great laugh for the day.

    Reply
  25. april says

    October 5, 2007 at 1:29 pm

    I cant figure out which pic is creepier—Snoring Amish man to the left, or strangled by her chin dead chick on the right. 😛

    Reply
  26. suetreiber says

    October 5, 2007 at 3:45 pm

    you get some awesome mail
    all I ever get is porn spam
    I love the layout of you & Aiden. It rocks.

    Reply
  27. erin yamabe says

    October 5, 2007 at 4:25 pm

    omg, this is too funny! what is going on with the beard? LOL

    Reply
  28. Lisa says

    October 5, 2007 at 7:28 pm

    You are too freaking funny ! I live in PA and often see Amish in my daily comings and goings, so this totally had me belly laughing ! Thanks Cathy, you rawk !!
    PS
    Wheres the survey for the Iphone ?

    Reply
  29. Penny says

    October 5, 2007 at 7:45 pm

    Well, I’m thinking a jock strap might serve the purpose too. Only the cup would hang out over the chin. A lot cheaper though, since most of us have jock strap on hand, right?

    Reply
  30. nia says

    October 5, 2007 at 8:18 pm

    oh my freaking goodness I cannot stop laughing.
    Priceless.

    Reply
  31. Anastasia says

    October 6, 2007 at 12:24 am

    I’m with you sister…when I first looked at it I thought, “how’d they get a picture of an amish guy in bed?”…Ha!

    And Pulp Fiction…two of my favorite lines in the movie…”it’s not a bike, it’s a chopper” and “Zed’s dead baby. Zed’s dead”.

    Reply
  32. Laura Reaux says

    October 6, 2007 at 7:55 am

    LOL! I kept looking at that picture at first, too… trying NOT to see it as an Amish-y beard. I cracked up when I read that you thought the same thing.

    Reply
  33. Tamara says

    October 6, 2007 at 9:17 am

    Cathy you had me LMAO this morning when I read this post. Your quit wit just makes my day. Thanks for the laughs!!!

    Reply
  34. Vanessa says

    October 6, 2007 at 9:55 am

    Bring out the GIMP…
    rotflmao!
    k…this post cracked me up..thanks for the chuckle!

    Reply
  35. Nisa Fiin says

    October 6, 2007 at 10:10 am

    I just shot juice out my nose.
    you = too funny.

    Reply
  36. Kim McMillan says

    October 6, 2007 at 12:31 pm

    But wouldn’t that beard go well with Dan’s little mustache?!!!!!!

    Reply
  37. Teresa says

    October 6, 2007 at 5:17 pm

    I call that beaves and butthead solution 🙂

    Reply
  38. anne sheridan says

    October 7, 2007 at 11:11 am

    spiders caught a fly

    Reply
  39. jenn says

    October 7, 2007 at 12:32 pm

    I just spit my coffee at the screen I’m laughing so hard! lol

    Reply
  40. Sarah says

    October 7, 2007 at 7:08 pm

    Kinda reminds me of that thing the blonde secretary on Ally McBeal dreamt up…it was a chin bra or something…too funny.

    Reply
  41. Melissa says

    October 7, 2007 at 7:08 pm

    Oh, Dear God… I pray this prayer of THANKS that I was not reading anything when I read the last sentence of Cathy’s blog entry today. HA HA HA

    Reply
  42. Melissa says

    October 7, 2007 at 7:09 pm

    …d’oh!!… I meant that I wasn’t DRINKING anything. Not that I shouldn’t have been. Or that I don’t sound like I’ve been. *hee hee*

    Reply
  43. Trude says

    October 8, 2007 at 6:28 pm

    Okay, two “Dude!” moments!

    1) I totally thought ‘Amish beard’ at first too.
    2) If you have sleep apnea, don’t do anything except what the doctor tells you! Because, oh, y’know, you might DIE and all.

    PS I love Sarah’s comment about a chin bra! We say the same thing about those front bumper covers you can get for your car!

    Reply
  44. Jen says

    October 9, 2007 at 1:55 am

    Oh Cathy, Cathy, Cathy! I’ve been missing my daily giggle cos I’ve been offline, but the Amish thing… well, that provoked a full-blown guffaw. Only you could find the words to describe that weird contraption. Thank you!

    Reply
  45. Tricia Ulberg says

    October 9, 2007 at 2:09 am

    This is hilarious. You seriously crack me up.

    Reply
  46. Karen E says

    October 9, 2007 at 1:13 pm

    Cathty this is the first comment and man i laughed so hard, My husband said that I snored so bad that it might just work, I told him that I would not wear anything like that and would never pay that price, it is easier for him to wake me up and say turn over,,,,,,,,,,,,, My husband I am sure will be telling his hunting buddies about this device,

    Reply
  47. mimi says

    October 10, 2007 at 6:17 am

    ah you crack me up everytime @!!!
    my husband snore i need one of those !!
    Mimi

    Reply
  48. Julie Ratcliffe says

    October 12, 2007 at 4:06 am

    You totally crack me up. “Fetish gear and churning your own butter” Classic!

    Reply

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