Never say resolution

Cathy ZielskeCZ Life60 Comments


The last time I weighed 28 pounds, I was just really starting to grasp control of English, and venturing into the uncharted territory of using toilets. Ah… those were the days.

Happy New Year, all.

Had a lovely little gathering of neighbors last night. Those are the best parties. No one drives. Food is shared. Everyone stays safe. Our special neighbor, Jay, writes songs about his lovely bride's gastrointestinal difficulties at 28-1/2 weeks pregnant with twins. In a nutshell, a perfect New Year's Eve.

Now… for some people, January 1st is a day where things are going to change, come hell or high water! (I love that expression, because when i say it, i feel like i'm 82.) But I gave up resolutions long ago. However, I do admire those who make resolutions that are going to be a snap to keep, like one of my other neighbors, Brian, whose only resolution is to watch The Simpsons Movie one time through, with his kids. Brilliant.

For me, I like to think about things I will try NOT to do. Not so much the things that I WILL do. Things like:

1. Don't say mean things about people, no matter HOW much it is killing you to just say that one little thing.

2. Don't eat quite as much as you have in the past four weeks.

3. Don't swear as loudly as you currently do.

Then, there are the things i will just CONTINUE to do, that I'm already doing, so i can meet with a measure of success:

1. Keep not smoking.

2. Keep not abusing prescription drugs.

3. Breathing.

Are there things I'd like to do? Sure. I'd like to weigh 125 pounds and have hair like Elsie, but I need to base my goals in reality.

I do plan to eat less meat, thanks to this book:


And I do plan to write something in my journal every Friday for the remainder of 2008.


And, I do plan to sort out some of my emotional issues as a woman in her perimenopausal early '40s, with all the challenges of any good modern-day female phenom who attempts to, somewhat begrudgingly, do it all.

I plan to continue swearing where appropriate, because let's face it, I need at least one vice in my life… however, I also plan to edit that language a bit more around my children, and replace the phrase, "Son of a bitch" with "Son of a nutcracker" at Coleman's request.

I plan to continue taking sub-par photos and then complaining bitterly that my camera is a piece of shit, and that it couldn't possibly be user error.

I plan to continue efforts to get my body to a place that is happier, because sister, let me tell you, the last month has been a super neat reminder how fast those 15 pounds you worked your ASS off for since July can come storming their way back into your stomach, courtesy of Sprite and Almond Roca.

And if i can't do that, I'm going to get professionally hypnotized so that every time I look in the mirror, i'm overcome with an undeniable sense of, "Do I really look that good?"

Finally, I plan to try and be a shining beacon of hope and light and justice and peace in the universe, providing compassion and inspiration to all my fellow brothers and sisters.

But if that doesn't go as planned, then i pledge to just make all the beds in my house on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.

Peace and love in 2008, y'all.


Cathy ZielskeNever say resolution

60 Comments on “Never say resolution”

  1. #3

    rock on cathy!! someday i hope to meet you in real life-we can take a picture of our bad selves (and our 15 pound muffin tops!)!!

  2. #6
    Terri B in Oregon

    Yeah 2008! I think I might be able to do the “bed thing”, and maybe, just maybe, something else! I know! Continue to read your fantastic, real, hilarious blog! Thank God for you!! Happy New Year!! You son of a nutcracker!

  3. #7

    You can make me laugh like no other blogger! You rock! And I will from now on be using son of a nutcracker!

  4. #9

    i never make beds.
    i don’t see the point.
    unless there is a pretty picture about to be taken…

    happy new year, girlie.

  5. #12
    ~ alli ~

    Let’s hear it for your new blog banner! 🙂 Even if I wasn’t the only (or the first) one who thought of you when I saw that at the scrapbook store, I am glad you like it.


  6. #13
    Shannon Coyne

    Can I just say “I love You!” I read your blog faithfully and I must say that most of the time I am left laughing out loud at your wonderful look at life. Thanks for that and I hope 2008 is wonderful for you and your family.

  7. #14

    cathy, i’ve never posted a comment before, but i’ve been checking in with you almost daily for over a year. i love your new year’s thoughts and love even more the real way you look at life…

    the real clincher, though, was the youtube video flashback to journey… those were the days, weren’t they?!

    happy happy new year – oh, and yeah, throw out the scale… it makes your diet WAY easier!

  8. #16

    I always give up my New Year’s resolution for Lent anyway! Thanks Cathy for a lot of fun and giggles in the past and the anticipation of more in 2008!
    Denise (also perimenopausal early ’40s chick!)

  9. #17

    I find it interesting that you covet Elsie’s hair as I have been a long-time coveter of YOUR hair! Things that make you go hmm…

  10. #18
    Lisa Cohen

    You always crack me up! I had to post to wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR! I love all of your non-resolutions… I have that Jack Bishop book out from the library right now. I tried the Creamy Tomato Soup and is was quite yummy (it uses canned tomatoes and you roast them… so don’t worry, there are none of those sorry looking orange winter doorstoppers that they put in the tomato section of the grocery stores at this time of year). I’ll post a picture at my blog of the results this week. I have lots more recipes tagged… to the point that it’s got tags coming out of every which way of the book… and it’s due to the library soon… so I might as well buy that book next time I get something at Amazon. I also checked out Good Fast Food (I think that’s what it’s called… also a vegetarian cookbook, although I am not… I do eat meat but want to eat more veggies. It’s also divided up into seasons but it’s not as good in my opinion. There were only two things that I tagged in that one). Let me know which ones you try and what you think of them. I’m feeling a “cook the book” coming on… how about you? You up for a challenge?

  11. #20
    Miss M!

    I don’t like to make resolutions. I prefer to set goals. A resolution seems so finite – like you screw up and that’s it, it’s over. With a goal, I feel like if I have a setback, it’s not a big deal. I can just pick up where I left off. Also, my goals usually involve bettering myself as a person, not just, “I resolve to lose 20 lbs.”

  12. #22

    well son of a nutcracker! amen – from one peri-meno to another. I am also trying new ways of eating to curb some of the lovely symptoms associated with this transition. you are awesome!

  13. #23

    Thanks for this post Cathy. I like making resolutions and goals for the year. I’m happy to report that I kept at least 3 resolutions from last year. 🙂 Even if they were as simple as “stop biting your nails”.

    I guess I just like the idea of starting fresh.

    Wishing you a happy new year. Hope to catch you at CHA.

  14. #24
    kim in Camas - ScrapToMyLu

    Your swearing talk reminded me of my girlfriend who curses like a salior…she gave up swearing for Lent on year. When it was over, she went right back to her ways. She also said she needs at least one vice.

  15. #27

    Happy New Year Cathy! Love your Blog and how you look at things. I also have given up on “resolutions”. However, I am trying to set goals, as another poster commented. One goal I have for this year is healthier eating ala more veggies. Since my kids won’t touch anything too exotic, I requested and received for Christmas the new cookbook by Jessica Seinfeld — Deceptively Delicious. It talks about making vegetable purees to “hide” in regular food so kids (and picky husbands) don’t notice. Wish me luck! and have a great ’08

  16. #31
    Melissa LaFavers

    Already, you are a shining beacon of authenticity. We get hope and light and justice and peace, too?


    ; )


  17. #32
    Patty Spell

    you seriously crack me up!!
    love this blog…
    happy 2008 🙂
    What she said!!

  18. #35
    Kirsty Wiseman

    you made me choke on my dandruff. (I was chewing hair at the time, and through heavy laughter, I shook my head and a little piece of scalp rolled down my hair and into my mouth).
    Is there a law suit in there somewhere?
    Love your blog Cathy, you really are a tonic for dandruff infested hair chewers like me.

  19. #36

    Dude. I love you. It’s no fricken’ wonder that you’re my idol. Swearing is my vice, too. (Well, that and a good margarita.) I love your list!

  20. #38

    I love reading your blog! I love the dose of reality that you bring to the simple things like resolutions! I think I can tackle some of those resolutions too!

  21. #39
    Laura Reaux

    Oh girl, you brighten my morning (that sounds like a cheesey 70’s song, doesn’t it?). The making the beds thing sounds like a good idea for me. I started off my New Year today by waking up before the kids instead of the flip side. Silence is a great way to wake up!!

    Thanks for posting about that book… I’m going to check it out.

  22. #40

    I think you need to give yourself a bit of a break on that “making the bed” thing!
    Have a great one!

  23. #42

    I am finally one of the cool kids, because my NOT to do list is exactly like yours. All great things to aspire to.
    Have a great one!

  24. #44

    At the risk of sounding cliche, Cathy, you are awesome, and I love your spirit. I love that you share yourself, flaws and all, with all of us. Have a wonderful new year, and may you keep doing and undoing all your un-resolutions.

  25. #48
    Kimberly L.C.

    Do you eat the Almond Roca while drinking Sprite? If so, maybe you should make a resolution to not do that anymore because the combo is gross! 😉

    Funny post as always… Happy 2008 Cathy!

  26. #49

    Cathy, you ROCK!!! I don’t even need to write an “New Year” post for my BLOG, I’ll just link her with a big DITTO!!

  27. #51

    happy new year and thank you for the gusto-filled post!

    i’m reading a book that i think you might find interesting and possibly even helpful….
    “the wisdom of menopause” by christiane northrup (yeah, it was on oprah, but it’s worth a read anyway)

    wishing you all the best this coming year.

  28. #52

    I love reading your posts,but have never commented before. You are always funny and have a great (honest) outlook on life.

    I am with you, I never make resolutions I know I can’t keep.

    Happy New Year.

  29. #53

    Cathy, as always, you are one seriously funny gal. No matter how blah and sorry for myself I’m feeling, you never fail to put it all into perspective and brighten my day. Thank you.

  30. #54

    You have already inspired me.

    I plan to continue drinking at least 7 cups of coffee a day and it is my goal to get more facials in 2008. I LOVE facials.

  31. #56
    Peg Graham

    Cathy- I’ll give you some of my new swears…want ’em?

    “Son of a Motherless Goat!”
    “Knights of Columbus!”
    “Holy hand grenades!”
    “Jiminy Cricket!”

    keep on keepin’ on…
    peace out

  32. #57
    Sara in Rochester, MN

    Too funny! I also tend to focus on resolutions that are attainable. This year I WILL excercise for 30 minutes each day. My plan – play 30 minutes of air hockey (an x-mas gift from my husband)…pretty do-able…especially after staying up until 1:30 am on Dec. 23 after putting the table together.

  33. #58

    LOL, I love to read your blog and just never seem to end up commenting.

    I *love* how you phrase things! I also don’t make resolutions (although this year, DH & I have finally decided to join you as former smokers) but I think I could attempt the ones you posted.

    So many scrapbookers intimidate me because they seem so “perfect” and I love how you show use you’re still just YOU, even though you’re an idol to so many of us. And that has made you even MORE of an idol for me because I can SO relate to you!

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