The last time I weighed 28 pounds, I was just really starting to grasp control of English, and venturing into the uncharted territory of using toilets. Ah… those were the days.
Happy New Year, all.
Had a lovely little gathering of neighbors last night. Those are the best parties. No one drives. Food is shared. Everyone stays safe. Our special neighbor, Jay, writes songs about his lovely bride's gastrointestinal difficulties at 28-1/2 weeks pregnant with twins. In a nutshell, a perfect New Year's Eve.
Now… for some people, January 1st is a day where things are going to change, come hell or high water! (I love that expression, because when i say it, i feel like i'm 82.) But I gave up resolutions long ago. However, I do admire those who make resolutions that are going to be a snap to keep, like one of my other neighbors, Brian, whose only resolution is to watch The Simpsons Movie one time through, with his kids. Brilliant.
For me, I like to think about things I will try NOT to do. Not so much the things that I WILL do. Things like:
1. Don't say mean things about people, no matter HOW much it is killing you to just say that one little thing.
2. Don't eat quite as much as you have in the past four weeks.
3. Don't swear as loudly as you currently do.
Then, there are the things i will just CONTINUE to do, that I'm already doing, so i can meet with a measure of success:
1. Keep not smoking.
2. Keep not abusing prescription drugs.
Are there things I'd like to do? Sure. I'd like to weigh 125 pounds and have hair like Elsie, but I need to base my goals in reality.
I do plan to eat less meat, thanks to this book:
And I do plan to write something in my journal every Friday for the remainder of 2008.
And, I do plan to sort out some of my emotional issues as a woman in her perimenopausal early '40s, with all the challenges of any good modern-day female phenom who attempts to, somewhat begrudgingly, do it all.
I plan to continue swearing where appropriate, because let's face it, I need at least one vice in my life… however, I also plan to edit that language a bit more around my children, and replace the phrase, "Son of a bitch" with "Son of a nutcracker" at Coleman's request.
I plan to continue taking sub-par photos and then complaining bitterly that my camera is a piece of shit, and that it couldn't possibly be user error.
I plan to continue efforts to get my body to a place that is happier, because sister, let me tell you, the last month has been a super neat reminder how fast those 15 pounds you worked your ASS off for since July can come storming their way back into your stomach, courtesy of Sprite and Almond Roca.
And if i can't do that, I'm going to get professionally hypnotized so that every time I look in the mirror, i'm overcome with an undeniable sense of, "Do I really look that good?"
Finally, I plan to try and be a shining beacon of hope and light and justice and peace in the universe, providing compassion and inspiration to all my fellow brothers and sisters.
But if that doesn't go as planned, then i pledge to just make all the beds in my house on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
Peace and love in 2008, y'all.