She is not my dog.
I was on the phone the other day with my BFF Molly, who I am fairly certain rarely, if ever, reads my blog because she's heard and seen it all so many times, honestly, why bother? (Hi Mo! It's me… Mac!) and I casually tossed out, "There's a 140-pound St. Bernard in my house right now," and she's all like, "What are you now? The dog whisperer?" (Because the last time I'd talked to her, a few days earlier, we had sweet little Kyla, the Dog I Want To Have Cloned, staying with us for the weekend.)
I am not actually a dog whisperer, and as any of you loyal blog readers know, I am not presently capable of owning a pet of my own, and so, I take care of others' dogs when the needs arise. And this lovely dog belongs to my sweet neighbors Jay and Lesley, and she is here because little Jack Malone and Stella McIntosh were born on Tuesday night, and that means their big "sister" Nana needed to get a little extra lovin' while the new Mom and Dad tend to business. Make sense? Make good run-on sentence? Yes?
Which reminds me of something Dan said to me while the previously-linked Kyla was staying with us. I was lamenting that I wished I could have a dog. A dog just like Kyla. That I really hoped someday I could be emotionally ready for a dog. And Dan, in his thoughtful and loving way said:
"Yeah. I mean, it's not like you're home all day and could actually take care of one."
Isn't that sweet? If I had been within spitting distance of my special monthly time, I might have just had him go on ahead and set up his new bedroom in the basement. But instead, I just laughed because he really did have a point.
He makes good points a lot. Like this morning, when I was droning on and on about my fall from Weight Watchers grace yesterday (which occurred somewhere between countless slices of summer sausage, two Sierra Mists, and three helpings of Village Wok chicken fried rice) and I said to him:
"It's like I'm going to have to live my entire life on a diet. Just like I'm going to have to live my entire life without smoking."
To which he replied: "I know… it's just like I'm going to have to live my entire live without ever having a three-way."
I love it when he really gets where I'm coming from.
Stacey R says
You and Dan crack me up.
I am soooo right there with you on the dog thing. I love dogs. I want one so badly, but I just can’t do it yet. Not full time. And I’m here all day too. I do have 4-year-old human puppy (called Coley) who complicates matters though. He is not ready for a dog. Or I should say, I am not ready to take care of a dog and my crazy 4-year-old at the same time… much to my 6-year-old daughter’s dismay.
Shalini Chandra says
You guys are funny, I like your writing style…
A post about being Fat, thats what I wrote the other day, check it out if you get a chance…http://shalinic.blogspot.com/2008/02/fat-isnt-ugly.html
K–I love those names. They sound like the hero and heroine of one of those dime store sleuth novels you pick up late at night behind the counter at some greasy spoon outside of twentynine palms.
Sarah Kristiansen says
Laughed right out loud at Dan’s comments. Good gravy, you guys are funny. Love Nana, but I am especially loving Nana’s new baby siblings names. Stella McIntosh. That makes me want to have another baby, JUST so I could name her Stella McIntosh. Well, almost.
cathy walters says
I can’t believe you deprive Dan like that. 🙂
btw, I totally get that “am I going to be on a diet the rest of my life” thing…I’m still waiting for the instant skinny pill. Or maybe they could make it in cake form.
OK. Completely just laughed out loud! Will be sharing that line with my hubby tonight 🙂
Thank you for consistently making me laugh with every post. It is a rare find and I treasure it!
Wonderfully funny. I think my hubby will completely understand Dan in his slight frustration of the boring and depriving wife.
OK I can’t stand it! you’re just too funny!!! ‘spiting distance’ and ‘three way’…just priceless!!
I’m so glad you came back to blogging again cause I just love reading it!
I look at it this way…your sort of a dog “grandmother.” You take them in for a bit, spoil them rotten, then send them home to their REAL mom and dad to be re-trained.
TCHA! Now how to I explain to my father, the one who went to seminary intending to become a priest, what made me burst out laughing. OK, he is no 78 year virgin as he father 5 kids, but tell him about some guy in St Paul who wants a 3 way? Oh my.
Terri B in Oregon says
I knew I could count on you for a Friday laugh to get me through the weekend! It is so nice to read a blog about REAL people, who do and say real things, instead of the “oh, everything is perfect and I scrap too” blogs! You and yours are simply the BEST!
Dianne Nelson says
LOL! Dan is surely a keeper!
Note to self…never EVER read CZ’s blog in corporate cubicle-land ‘cuz 12 heads will simultaneously pop up and chime in chorus “ARE YOU OOOKKKK?”….
Cathy, If you have access to Webkins you need to check out the calendar question on February 3. (Neil Finn related)
There’s always a reason I stop by, and it’s usually to make me laugh. Really, you should take this humor and put it into a show and go on the road. I know, I know…then you’d have to leave your house, but then you’d have one up on Dan about the real reason you can’t have a dog.
As always, thanks for the laugh. Oh, and by the way, I just reread Clean & Simple the Sequel for like the 8th time since I got it 2 years ago…good times, really good times. I used to have only 8 pages marked with little sticky notes so that I would copy them and make beautiful pages like Cathy…now almost every page has a sticky note on it…or so my husband says. It’s my new (renewed) best source of inspiration at the moment. THANKS!!
Niki C says
OMG you make me laugh! Dan’s last comment about the three way sounds like something my dh would have said. It’s so nice to know that there are other couples out there that are as sarcastic as we are! Thanks for the giggle!
Diane A says
I am crying I am laughing so hard. I love your blog and YOU!! Thanks for making my day and have a great weekend!!!
Tell Dan there is hope. Skyline Chili here in Cincinnati serves up some killer “three ways” 24/7/365. They even ship to Minnesota!
Oh, and just so you know….a classic three way is 20 points on Weight Watchers. 😀
Christine Campbell says
Now my coworkers want to know what is so dang funny – should I tell them??
Um, I don’t think they’d get it, so I’ll keep this one to myself… this time. LOL
Have a great weekend!!
You have a funny husband. I’m with you on the ww thing. A pint of hagen daas rum raisin had my name on it during the grocery trip to wally world…and gosh darned if I didn’t finish the whole thing?!!! I was somewhat mortified! But it was GOOOOD…
PS. We don’t have a dog either since the 12 yr old yellow lab girl died last summer. TOO MUCH WORK!
Omilord I laughed out loud. That and Dooce’s weiner poopies were my laughs for this day. thank you.
If it’s any consolation to Dan, DH & I know a guy whose wife “gave” him a 3-way for his birthday one year. Guess who got PG? NOT THE WIFE!! Now there’s a little extra bambino around that no one was planning on. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HONEY!!” The gift that keeps on giving. :-> (No; it’s not us!!)
Julie Mitchell from Canada says
Dogs are too much of a commitment for me. That’s why I’ve got a goldfish! April’s not too demanding.
I wonder if Dan thinks your posts on your blog are funny… I think they are hilarious. You never disappoint me.
Thanks, I needed that. It’s been a hellish week! Oh, and Ludwig the Greyhound would love to come visit the end of May. Maybe you need to open a little B&B for dogs!
Emily Hoadley says
You certainly have a special man with you! I understand the big dog and new babies deal. When we brought our twins home our malamute-who’d been the large baby for some time- had jealousy issues. I was insanely tired and not taking care of anyone else, so my folks took her to live on the farm for a while. She has refused to come home, she’s very content where she is now.
Laugh out loud funny – especially because it’s so true. You Rock Cathy!!
I HATE the show “Biggest Loser”! I mean, if that’s what it takes to get thin, then let me sit down at my craft table all day and scrapbook . . . with a plate of Rice Krispy treats at hand. Thank you very much.
Don’t you just love when you think that you are clever and then they throw out that one last line.
I often ask why are my husband’s lines so much better than mine and why can’t I avoid laughing. Oh yeah, I total am in love with him.
I love Dan’s one-liners! Too funny!
Gorgeous doggie! I bet it’s nice to have her around. 🙂
That is a gorgeous girl!
Poor Dan, never getting what he wants.
Love you guys!!…My husband and I have that same realtionship…nice to know that it can still work after 15 years…
That dog is beautiful and your husband is hilarious. =)
Thanks. for making us laugh, for sharing, for being real
tara Whitney says
thats some funny stuff.
I want a Dan!
Traci in Virginia says
I’ve had a long day and it’s so nice to giggle! You are so funny. At least you are trying to diet. I am the one who will live her entire life needing to be on a diet, but not!
but you knew that, right?
Moriah Bettencourt says
OMG, now that is funny.
Rebecca Gawryl says
It’s 5:30 in the morning, and i am only reading now cause i can’t sleep – and now i am just going to be laughing in my mind til morning… too funny
You are FREAKIN’ HILARIOUS. LMAO!!!
When I can stop laughing, I will leave a post. It might not happen today. LOL
I always smile and smirk when reading your blog, but today I actually laughed out loud! Dan’s one-liner retort was perfect. Thank you thank you thank you for the humor!
you friggin crack me up. no matter what the lament, no matter what the complaint – why is there such an incessant nature to always make their pojnts, well.. umm.. “dirty”? my husband NEVER fails with it either. i too had a fall from WW graces yesterday… but if you’re gonna fall from it – do it on weigh in day – that gives you 6 more days to get your ass on track. you can do it girl.
OMG! Dan’s 3 way comment made me laugh hard enough my 2 year old was laughing!
Heheheheh you guys are so funny!
Something else that’s really funny and that I think you’d get a kick out of, being a music lover and all, is this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMH0bHeiRNg
Didn’t find it myself on YouTube but came across it on this hilarious scrapbooking blog: http://life-of-a-scrapper-husband.blogspot.com/
You should check it out some time.
Cathy D says
Ha ha ha omg Dan’s comment was hilarious. Gotta love a man’s way of thinking lol.
OK first off, you need to stop thinking of it as being on a diet – it is a lifestyle change, it is (or needs to be) WHO you are not WHAT you are doing. Everyone keeps asking me what I’ll do when I hit my goal weight (which is a long way off) and I realized that I can’t STOP doing what I am doing once I hit it or it will all be downhill. You have to think of it as a change in you lifestyle – not just a temporary diet thing.
Secondly….. and I thought *MY* hubby and his bf were on the only men in the world who though they needed a three way! GEESH Silly me!
Hysterical. (love the pic of the furry baby.)
Just saw the Tom Cruise parody on you tube-the funniest ever-thank you!
Poor Dan! My hubby sends his understanding and sympathies. 🙂
omg, i just spewed my coffee out with poor dan’s sacrifice!
Good job I’d just put down my Diet Coke.. if I had been mid-sip I’d have sprayed the monitor 🙂 He’s such a cool guy!
I seriously almost spit out my chocolate-banana milkshake! Tee hee. Your house must be so fun. 😀
And gosh, I still do wish you lived closer so you could take care of our two little fur-babies. I guarantee you’d never want to give up these pups. 🙂
taking care of dog games says
It is so nice to read a blog about REAL people, who do and say real things, instead of the “oh, everything is perfect
Rosalinda Ord says
I also love it when my man gets my point. Anyway, maybe you are a dog whisperer. It’s not that easy to have someone else’s dog be at ease at your care. And I personally think you want to have one, you’re just holding back from getting one. Tell me, do you feel relieved whenever you touch a dog’s fur?
I totally love dogs, but I love caring for other peoples more than the idea of having my own right now. : ) One of these days.