So last night, Dan and I are sitting at the kitchen table, eating a substantive serving of whole wheat capellini, tomato sauce and Byerly's label freshly grated parmesan, and I was telling him in a very the-world-and-Weight-Watchers-has-beaten-me-down tone of voice that sure, I was eating healthier, and yeah, my snacks were things like almonds and dried fruit, and that okay, I was walking almost every day, and so on and so forth, but that I still missed being a skinny smoker, and I would never deny that.
Trying not to sound ridiculously melodramatic, however, I weakly pointed out that I was not, in fact, a smoker anymore, and that I was still fairly proud of that, whoop de frickin' do.
Now you know guys. You know how sometimes, they just aren't sure what to say or do when they sense their partner is trapped in the suckage of a pity whirlpool. So what do they do? Usually, they start hitting the facts. The numbers. Pointing out the non-emotion related things that are supposed to make you feel good, instead of just saying, "OH, honey. I KNOW!"
Now first, a little back story before I continue: Dan is convinced he will outlive me. And rarely, if ever, do I challenge him on this fact. His grandmother is 96. Her sister lived to be older than that, and her other sister is still alive. He has longevity in his genes. We often imagine him moving to a loft in downtown St. Paul, living the hipster lifestyle as only an 80-plus year old man can, and very likely, having an endless stream of hot 70-year-old chicks at his disposal.
I mean, afterall… he IS really charming.
So there I am, in my melancholic stupor, and Dan is pointing out that YES, eating almonds and dried fruit is WAY better than potato chips, or loaves of french bread, and that the walking is doing wonders for my ass, and that the not smoking thing is absolutely HUGE as far as my health and longevity go.
And then, sweetly, with glistening eyes, he says: I only want to outlive you by one day.
Gulp.
God, I have no idea why or how, but this man really seems to like me.
And with that out of the way, I would like to present my new official rule on self-portraits:
they MUST include a toilet.
Have a great weekend.
Love,
Cathy
Katy says
gulp.
you caught the one for you, that’s for sure.
tryshia says
Oh…my…gosh!
“I only want to outlive you by one day”
HEELLLOOOO…that is the sweetest thing i have ever heard!! wow Dan sounds like a really special guy if you ask me. You are a lucky lady.
and yes, all selfies should include a toilet. oh my… that was a good laugh for a Friday!
have an awesome weekend : )
Trysh,
Ottawa, Canada
Jaana says
Ok, so that brought me to tears, which I explained to my co-worker as “allergies”. What a beautiful thing to say. Lucky woman!
michelle says
dude…that’s like the best flippin comment ever!!
Jane says
aaaahhhhhhh….that is the sweetest thing. Why can’t my husband say things like that! He will pay for this one!
heehee
Jane
Tamara says
LOL!!! Cathy I just can’t get enough of your blog. I love the honesty that is in your posts and I love that you share so much with us. Dan is a great guy, what a sweet thing to say. He was definitely meant to be with you! The self portrait will keep me giggling all weekend. Have a good one!
annie says
That was the cutest story ever!!
Meghan E says
Sometimes guys do find JUST the right thing to say 🙂
Jaime Benavides says
They never cease to amaze… What a great hubby you have!
Jaime Benavides
http://www.scrapcrazydiva.blogspot.com
Randi says
loved the husband comment and peed myself with the toliet photo comment! Thanks for a great start to the day!
Jill says
As I sit quietly at my computer, eating my lunch, tears welling up in my eyes and then…then nearly spitting my lunch on the monitor when I see the toilet as the backdrop in the self protrait. Well done! I needed that!
Jill
Angie says
The comment by your adoring husband…awesome, but the angle at which the camera caught your very long and thin face…flippin awesome!
Linda says
That was really a nice thing to say, so filled with love! Take care! Linda from Sweden
Deborah says
This is why we love you, Cathy. A tug on the heartstrings and then a laugh. Only you can deliver the old one-two like that. Thanks! (and kudos to Dan for saying exactly the right thing!)
Sugar Creek Farm says
Toilet or no, that is one really cute top!
Liz says
I was listening to Stars by The Weepies when I read your post.
I’m brought to tears and a simple smile.
Thanks for sharing a piece of your life. : )
Debbie says
I just have to say whenever I am feeling the sucking of the whirlpool I only have to read your blog to suck me right back out.
Thanks for all of the laughs!!!!!
I hope you enjoy the sweetness of that hubby of yours. My hubby is great too, he just never finds the right words. He gave up trying that, it was not a win win situation. Have a great day!
Gabi Butcher says
This is too good!!! Your DH is a sweetheart and the self-portrait rule is FabuLOLus – LOL
Juliana says
Oh, Cathy! What a great blog post. Sounds like you got yourself a wonderful man there! And LOL on your self portrait rule!
tara Whitney says
that color needs to be your new staple.
mustard is the new orange sweatshirt.
and dan-dan…..you sweet little monkey you.
Jill says
Okay…crying…so sweet…
Request: Can your husband teach a “How to be a great husband” course…soon…please???
shaina says
Love your nononsense attitude!
Jill says
Forgot to mention…your toilet is very clean!! 🙂
Julie Mitchell from Canada says
Very sweet. Needs to be recorded on a LO.
I agree with Tara above, that yellow looks perfect on you. I think the almonds, fruits and walks work wonders. You are radient next to the bowl.
Julie
paperdiva says
he seriously puts other men to shame.
I also like the yellow!
Laura says
The Dan thing – totally sweet and earns him an extra big smooch later when you’re feeling like it.
The smoking thing, OMG! It’s been 2 years, 3 months and 4 days and there are days still that I think being a skinnier smoking b*tch would be so much better. Cuz I’d be happier right, and don’t happier people live longer? Don’t happiers people keep themselves out of jail easier cuz they don’t go around killing folks just cuz they’d rather have a cigarette in their hand than look at some totally nice dude who’s just irritating the hell out of them for no good reason at all?? *Sigh* I guess after my deep breath now I can tell you that I understand, one ex-smoker to another, how sometimes the almonds and the walks and all the good things just can’t top one long drag.
Sue in Grapevine says
Have you seen this quote?
If you live to be a hundred, I want
To live to be a hundred minus one day,
So I never have to live without you. —— Winnie the Pooh
Your Dan seems to be a great guy.
tammy t says
Oh my….that really is a beautiful thing to say. Really. And I love your description of him as a hipster old geezer. Maybe he could start a new band….”Geezer!”
t
kelli says
That brough tears to my eyes! What a sweetie!
Michelle Davies says
ROFL! the toilet is now a “must have” for all my portrait work!!
Lorrie Spotts says
My husband would be a happier person if he learned from your husband. I have had many a many a many conversations about my fights with Weight Watchers. Right now I am not letting WW beat me down. I am beating them down. With my vanilla scones from Starbucks, leftover chocolate bunnies, and avocados from my mom’s backyard tree…turned into guacamole. (which “needs” tortilla chips) I am pretty darn good at this fight.
Kathleen says
Who is this guy? I think Winnie the Pooh said something similar in that “If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you.” OK I know it’s a tad different but in the same respect Dan is so much like Winnie the Pooh. How sweet! I’m a sugar addict but that is WAY too sweet for me.
By the way, you look great! You are a very lucky person!
Sarah Kristiansen says
I always knew I liked Dan…
April Driggers says
Oh my GAWD that is TOO f-n sweet! 🙂
They go on and on and on and just bug the ever lovin crap out of us and then say something like that … and it’s like… awwwwwwwww!!!
and the toilet… that cracked me up! 🙂 (just as long as nothing’s floatin’ in it! 😉
Love ya girl — you always make me smile!
Chris Ford says
Dude, thank God every day you’re not a smoker. We go in next Friday so my grandma, a lifelong multiple pack a day smoker, is having half of her lung surgically removed because she has lung cancer – and we’re thanking our lucky stars she’s even eligible to *have* half of it chopped out. And she is *still* smoking.
She says she’s gonna quit the day after surgery, but she also said she was throwing her pack away the day they told her she could have the surgery. And my mom is sitting right next to her sucking the damn things down, too.
As a reformed “secret smoker” like you, that’s all it took for me to swear I will never, ever again (even when I’m drunk! I swear!) suck down another coffin nail.
Muffin tops are way better than lungectomies (or, you know, whatever -ectomy medical term they use for this thing).
Smooches. And tell Dan he’s the man. What a keeper!
Kitsa says
I will be heading to the toilet for my self-portrait as soon as I finish writing this. Bhwaaaaaaaaa!!!!!
andie says
you look great in yelllow!!!!
Kelly C. says
Cathy & a toilet!!! You crack me up!
amanda says
Shocked you have a shorty toilet with two boys. Is’nt there a saying for shorty toilets? Somehow I feel cheated when using a shorty toilet. Just a thought. cheers.
Molly says
super sweet.
Your skin is absolutely radiant, I don’t know whether it’s the toilet or the yellow top, but whatever … it’s working for you.
Jana says
What a sweet thing your guy is! Love when they can pull those romantic words out of thin air…
um, nah, lose the toilet, there’s gotta be a better prop out there! Great self portrait though!
mary bartolotta says
Hi Cathy,
sounds to me like you got one of the good ones..how can you not love a man who says something like that!! hate to throw this in, but you got me thinking about “fame” and how I was so into that…someone else from the movie died yesterday…makes me feel old. (45 in 2 weeks..)but I will love that movie and how it made me feel until my dying day..have a great weekend, maryb
Bek Vavic says
Oiw… not JUST that, he knows exactly what to say to shut you up TIC LOL!
That is adorable, you two are the cutest!
Bek
Lainey says
Seriously, Cathy…you freaking crack me up. What a way to end such a sweet (and I mean sweet-in-a-Cathy-way) post.
xoxo
Anilu Magloire says
So cool that you realize how lucky you are to have such a cool dude in your life!?!?!?!
Very jealous…. And teary eyed too 🙂
kim in Camas - ScrapToMyLu says
You always make me laugh.
Linda says
what a cutie that Dan is! Enjoy your weekend!
Sue Martin says
What a sweetheart Dan is and the photo with the toilet is too funny.
Many years ago one of my colleagues was retiring so we put together a video and each person talked about the different memories they had with Walter. I convinced the guy doing the video to film me inside the ladies’ room right next to the Tampax machine. Walter just cracked up when he saw it.
Don’t ever go back to smoking…watching my stepmom slowly die of emphasema,in a nursing home for a period of six months would be a cure for anyone. She weighed 59 lbs. when she died.
Susan says
Tears. Nuff said.
Susan says
CZ,
You definitely met your soulmate!What a sweet comment(so Jerry MaGuiresque) TFS! BTW,
I like the self portrait con bano idea and I, for one, appreciate that yours was flushed and the seat was down! LOL
Have a great weekend!
Ann says
I’m in the middle of a divorce that really is good for me, but still I’m all worried about never meeting anyone else. Thanks for giving me something to live through vicariously that sounds so sweet and so cool and so what I want the next time around.
The toilet is a nice option. 🙂
MistyD says
awww! How sweet! Then the – this man really likes me – how funny! And the toilet – you are a riot! thanks for the laugh!
Jen says
ONLY YOU!!! Only you could make me go from ‘awww, I’m gonna cry’ to laughing hysterically, all within 30 seconds.
Did you catch the rainbow at 5-6ish? Was that viewable from your St Paul digs? I was in Edina. It was awesome. Spring is awesome. Have a great weekend!!
Jen
Heather H. says
That is very sweet! I wasn’t expecting the toilet. I thought maybe it was going to be looking UP at the camera because it is more slimming, but not the toilet. Could it always be a CLEAN toilet, please!?
Anyway, great story. I think it should be a layout. That story and that photo! If anyone could make it work, it’s you!
kribss says
your funny + dan’s hot!
Lucy says
Wow I would swoon if my man said that to me… but glad to see you brought us back to earth with your normal everyday photo xxxx
melly says
at least it’s a CLEAN toilet!
You look great in yellow – good lighting in that bathroom of yours.
And Dan the man? I have no comment at all. He’s sucking up for something. Watch out. 😉
ThatOtherSharon says
That is the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard of a many saying EVER!!!
And I think you’re looking great in this pic!!! So you must be doing something right.
tos
Christine Campbell says
I actually sighed and went awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
you’re one lucky gal Cathy Z. 🙂
AnnB says
I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy over your sweet husband moment and then BLAM, you hit me with the toilet (so to speak) and I laugh right out loud. Gosh, I just love ya.
merryheart2 says
I have been reading your blog for a some time now. (Probably since you put it up)
I’ve never commented, but I can’t help myself tonight.
You CRACK me up!
Thanks for being you and being real.
Love all the inspiration. You rock!
Sandra
merryheart2 says
I have been reading your blog for a some time now. (Probably since you put it up)
I’ve never commented, but I can’t help myself tonight.
You CRACK me up!
Thanks for being you and being real.
Love all the inspiration. You rock!
Sandra
Shelly in the NW says
my hubby once had a dream that i died before him and he never remarried but instead made custom furniture and he and our dog sold it at Pike Place Market – i’m not sure what that means, but I guess on the one had i was flattered about the not remarrying part – on the other hand was he finally glad to be living his dream?????
well, it’s been almost 19 years since then and the dog is now gone but i’m still here 🙂
Nicola in NZ says
I’m gonna have to get me some “smoke and mirrors” cos spring never looked that good on me.
Rae says
Two things…clean toilets should be shown off and secondly, hubby & I have a similar conversation, about his family living so much longer than mine so all my (trying to)live clean, exercise, hrs of health research and my love/hate affair with WW will not have me live even remotely as long as him LOL…which he says smugly as he sits there eating his Munchie Mix and ice cream.
Anastasia says
You always make me feel good. I laugh. I cry. Sometimes, I laugh til I cry! Thanks!
Lauren says
I can’t say that any of my selfies have included a toilet. And I have been taking them for 96 days straight.
I will make it my personal challenge to see if I can get through the whole year without including the toilet.
Yes….thats my new challenge. Not only to finish a year of selfies, but to keep them toilet free.
Elsa says
As a fellow 11 years clean recovering smoker (Marlboro Kings Light in the flip box) I completely understand your sentiments. I still remember leaving the health club after an amazing workout, and heading straight to McDonald’s for a diet Coke and a cigarette. Everything’s better followed with cig.
But, quitting is the right thing, if nothing else than to give our kids the right example and a chance at still being around to be a great grandmother to their children.
I still stand real close to smokers in public places though, hoping to inhale a bit of the smoke they so wastefully exhaled.
Sick I know, but sadly true.
elizabeth says
~sigh~ yep, he’s a keeper (but I’m sure you’ve figured that out by now)!! Oh so is your yellow shirt…looks FANTASTIC ON YOU 🙂
rubberbandgirl Cami S. says
Bonus points for the man!
That’s gonna stick with me.
Thanks for sharing that.
You’ve obviously married the right guy.
Rita Weiss says
wow. dan rocks. you too. but you know that. hi. 🙂
Keely says
don’t evah change!!
Nadia says
such a lucky lady and lest we forget how lucky Dan is too. I love it when they say the right things. and the toilet thing? dear god what have you made me do? it’s on the blog…
vicki Boutin says
The toilet!!! HAHAHAHA!!! Your timeing…impeccable!
That man sure is a keeper!!!!
Carolyn says
(warning early Sunday morning, typo’s/grammar errors may occur)
Cute post! A man who can start he only wants “one day” longer then you, is a keeper. Maybe, he should teach other men to speak like this. I know my hubby couldn’t not even think to say something like that on his own. I’m probably afraid to hear what he would have to say, on that topic. Oh and your too cute to have a pic with a toilet in the background, but cute top. Thank you for being so real in your post, this struggle about non-smoking and weight and so tough. I have been saying exactly what you wrote in this post about this exact subject lately. I do not want to become overweight. I have never dealt with an weight issue, until I quite smoking, and wham! I swear I am blowing up, what is up with this? It cannot happen and I’m working hard to not let it, but wow is this hard, it really leaves you tempted to light up again, but I really don’t have the desire too, but it makes you think about it.
AmyInKy says
Awww that was sweet of Dan to say.
Love the toilet in the self-portrait. I’ll have to try that.
What I really want to know though is what did you think of the latest Rock of Love??? I’m dying to read about that in your next blog post. 🙂
Wendy z. says
Love the self portrait….Need to get a picture of myself by a toilet…..
Oh…by the way…I’ve had four really potent margaritas tonite….which gave me the courage to type this……
I hope to live one day longer than my husband….love him to death…the best friend I have eva had…but I’m really competitive…I’ll be damned if the knucklehead outlives me….
but he probably will….
BeckyKay says
Holy cow! That is the sweetest, most romantic thing to say!!
Awwww!