I’m ready for my close up, Mr. DeMille

Cathy ZielskeCZ Life40 Comments


A quick check in before filming starts. Very concerned about super tight, way too low rise, Long and Lean Gap jeans and the ass crack clearance area where my shirt meets jeans.

This type of jean isn't technically low rise either. The problem that we're dealing with is my round, basketball like booty, which lowers the waist of the jeans exponentially.

All I need is one season of Survivor. That'd bring the booty factor down considerably.

But on a positive note, my dining room has never looked this good.

I will fill you in on all the gory details soon. Promise.

Cathy ZielskeI’m ready for my close up, Mr. DeMille

40 Comments on “I’m ready for my close up, Mr. DeMille”

  1. #1

    Hey, Cathy, try the jeans at J.Jill. They actually fit girls with some curves, and the waistband is not too high or too low! I used to wear the Curvy jeans at Gap, but always felt like I should have a pipe wrench in my hand and start a career in plumbing. Your blog always makes me laugh!

  2. #3

    I think you’ll be fine while filming unless you turn around, bend over, & pick something up – not such a good idea when talking to the camera.

    Good luck!

  3. #4
    Melina {gingerkitty}

    you say basketball booty like it is a bad thing.. you have your own built in portable seat cushion

  4. #8
    Deborah P

    I really don’t know what you’re talking about, so ???? But you are definitely having a GREAT hair day!

  5. #10

    I dig those jeans and I just pretend that my crack exposure is something I do on purpose. It’s ok to be bootylicious – definitely better than having a flat bum.

  6. #13
    Mary Lib

    Ever tried Chico’s jeans? They have a bit of spandex that works for me. Funny you mention the “close-up”: I have been listenening to “Sunset Boulevard” this week getting in a theatre mood for our JCSS show next week. Good luck and have a great day!
    ~~ Mary Lib

  7. #17

    I’ve always said I’m one-trip-of-39-days-on-a-remote-island-with-Probst away from my ideal weight!

    Good color shirt and great hair day!

  8. #18

    Ooh the old jeans & butt crack combo! A contstant issue for a mom who refuses to wear Mom Jeans… you run the chance of showin’ all your business to the world. BTW – I have that shirt! It’s a little shorter than other shirts, so I definitely have that problem when I wear it with jeans!

  9. #20
    Heather H.

    Good luck with whatever you are filming! I hear ya on the booty factor. My butt has been replaced by someone else’s. After my son was born I happened to look at it in a fitting room mirror and to my horror I did not see my butt! It was a very wide one that did not belong to me. I’ve been searching for my own but it has yet to return.

  10. #21

    Oh dear, sorry to see you looking so uncomfortable. I know what you mean, getting yourself a pair of ‘looks great, feels fantastic jeans’is tricky !

    Cheer up though! The hair is great and I agree on the orange.

  11. #22

    You are lookin’ good girl! … and come on, a little crack is good … or is that suppose to be bad??? ๐Ÿ™‚

    you got me intrigued with the “filming” part! what could it be??? is it a scrapbook film???

  12. #23

    Well this flat butt girl thinks you’ve got it good. I see you have that shirt on, is Dan going to be able to keep his hands to himself this time or will they be catching that action on film too? ROFL
    Please tell us what you are being filmed for. Other wise we won’t know where to look.
    Have a Happy!

  13. #24
    Debbie Cook

    i have the oppostie prob. yes, i admit to having no ass ๐Ÿ™ long and leans are my favorite, though!
    you’re too funny. i alwasy know where to come for a chuckle! love the drawer unit, too!

  14. #25

    all hail the ghetto-booty! i have the same problem. pants manufacturers don’t seem to grasp that it IS possible to have a deliciously sized booty and NOT have hips, and waist out to THERE… so it’s either deal with the plumber crack (and hopefully pair it with a long enough shirt), or else go for the “my pants are SUPPOSED to be this baggy around the waist” look. sheesh!

  15. #26

    You know you are an absolute STAR when film crews are in your home! Since you are such a scrapbooking celebrity, perhaps you are on MTV Cribs. Good to hear that the dining room is clean, but they always look inside your fridge on that show.

    Feeling your pain on the jeans-thing. ABSOLUTELY DESPISE buying jeans since they are never built to the same proportions as my body.

    HELPFUL TIP: If there is a chance your rear will be exposed on camera, make sure to wear cute underwear (just in case).

  16. #27

    Um. Yeah. I have the same problem with the L&L’s (not to even mention the basketball bootay.) A word to the wise, steer completely clear of the boot cut. I look like Chris Farley every time I stand up – hiking them back up to where they should be from every imaginable angle. Not pretty. Trust me. The only thing worse was the first day of kindergarten when one of the *not 39* moms crawled across the floor exposing us all to her ratty, torn, threadbare thong. BLECH! I gag just thinking about it. Oh, and why are all of the other moms of kindergartners 22? Sorry. I digress.

  17. #28

    I’ve been watching you on Kitchen Renovations. When was this done and did you blog about it? I would love to read about this process.

  18. #30

    Hi– Okay so I think I am your newest fan, you are frickin’ hilarious(umm is that how you spell that???). I just got done reading your book ‘Clean & Simple the sequel’ I happened to get it in a random lot of books on ebay that I bought. Even though I have read Simple many times and I knew of you I had never actually read any of your stuff and needless to say that was the only scrap book I have literally read front to back. I could not put it down (the fact that I had two really slow night shifts at work helped too)it was so funny and touching I read all of your journaling and everything -I’m a freak I know. But anyways my point of this is thank you, I have always wanted to scrap that way but felt like I was wierd because all the other women I scrap with of course use all those gawdy stickers and trinkets and I seemed kind of plain and none of them journal (I think they are freaks for that) but I have only been scrapping for about 2 years but feel I have always been a scrapper and with your book it just made me realize to go with the flow and let it be if I want to scrap simple, scrap simple if I want a little extra bling throw in some bling and like you pointed out its about the story or the memory not the photos (maybe thats why I have yet to scrap a single holiday or birthday) I love to scrap moments not events. So all in all, all that junk is to say thanks for your book it was like great therapy. I plan to buy the first book now and read it- backwards I know but then again I never claimed to be normal. Also I have to tell you this crazy thing I literally read your book like 2 days ago and I was sitting here watching the DIY network and your kitchen renovation was on yep you, your husband and your two kiddos. I kinda freaked cuz I was like that is that lady the one who’s book I just read that was totally aewsome so I had to drop everything and let you know about it. So anyways Illquit rambling like a stalker and go buy your other book and hope you just don’t randomly pop up again cuz then I just might think you’re the stalker. Hey this would make a great scrap page how I fell into my new inspiration (and I promise to keep it simple!!)

  19. #31
    Paula Harrington

    I blame the whole ass-crack peek-a-boo jeans thing on the fact that our generation should be considered “tweens” when it comes to current fashions. Not quite at the extendo-teenage stage, but in no way ready for the “senior” stage. I’m finding that all of the cute little horizontal-seam-across-the-front tops are fitting me with the seam going right across the boob-line, which I’m quite certain is not the intended location for this seam. I don’t think my boobs seem all that saggy. With all these saggy boobed, ass crack showing chicks running around, one would think some of the retail outlets would catch on and create some cute tops and decent jeans for us. Your hair DOES look cute! Your viewing audience will be way to preoccupied with your cute hair to give a rat’s ass about yours. ;o) Break a leg with your mystery filming project.

  20. #33

    Have you ever tried essential fit by Gap. They make my basketball bubble butt look fantastic if I do say so myself, and I do.

  21. #34
    Judy in Huntsville

    This one’s for Dan – yes! I had to say good bye to my Vibe this week and it’s sad story – but have to share that it stood strong through the end. Story’s on my blog – but basically we were re-ended [?!] while driving down an off ramp and it crumpled up to the front seats. Hope yours is still doing well. Since I’m on the road so much [and the queen of anxiety] I’m replacing with something little bigger.

    Cathy – hope the ‘shoot’ goes well and can’t wait to see what you’re up to. I’m power scrapping via Stacy Julian’s finish line style and getting a retirement book together for my sister’s co-worker – hope to be done in a week. We’ll see… ~ J

  22. #36
    Beth R.

    Oh yes, this bootay vs. ass crack seems to be a universal condition. My beautiful 22 yr old daughter has a bootay worthy of MTV, 5ft 8″ with a small waist and a size 10 ( I know that’s huge for a 22 yr old by todays anorexic size 1 standards,what a shame but thats a whole different story) anywho… I hear the jeans “don’t fit ” dilemma almost every day and she is correct. Inseams are so small, crack can’t help but peek out.If the butt fits, the waist gaps out. Mom jeans give all Moms a bad name. Face it jeans are impossible to fit for most of us even if you survive on smokes and red bull. I’m rambling I know…I’m sure it’s because I feel so HOT sitting here in my bathing suit!!
    P.S. Love the hair

  23. #37
    Sue McFarland

    I love your references to your booty!!! So dang funny!! I also can identify with your problem…I don’t carry around a JLo booty like some girls, I carry a whole and full JLo BUS!!!!! I am always very very careful bending down..yep! I have the crack from hell, it goes half way up my back!! Even when I weighed a lot less, it was still toooooooooo high!! Good luck with your filming ๐Ÿ™‚ And I love seeing Chester!!

  24. #38

    Oh my gosh Cathy, you are TOO funny! Totally relate to the jeans issue. I wanted to say that while I love your hair longer, you SO rock the short do! Have a great day! =)

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