After spending a bit of time letting the news of Simple Scrapbooks’ demise sink in, which definitely included an ample deposit of tears on my pillow, I emerge this week anew. One of my blog readers quoted a lovely line to me, from Minnesota’s own Semisonic, and the song, “Closing Time”: “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”
And so I did a little brainstorming. What IS next for Cathy Zielske (aside from a sharp increase in third-person writing?) Funny you should ask.
Nanny for Ali Edwards
Why this could work: I’m exceptionally good at cleaning things, cooking and driving. Simon already likes me, and I know this because we’ve video chatted before. I also know scrapbooking and while I’m bouncing Baby E, I could look over Ali's shoulder and offer up helpful comments such as: “Hmmm. Not sure if that really goes there,” or, “Wow! A lot of people wouldn’t do it that way,” or, “You are my hero,” or, “Will you link me on your blog?” Plus, I love Oregon and have been looking for reasons to get back out to the Pacific Northwest anyway. This timing couldn’t be better! (Ali, if you are reading, I would also make an exceptional doula. The time draws nigh. Call me!)
Cashier at Target
Why this could work: I am VERY friendly, even for a classic introvert. I know how to use a cash register, and I look really good in red. Just ask my mother. I have MANY years experience in retail sales, including having worked at the Rollerfair Skate Deck Snack Bar and Chess King, all before the age of 18. As a testament to my skill level, I once convinced a customer at Chess King that yes, the knock-off, Michael Jackson Thriller jacket DID look that good on him. Plus, having the Target discount would be sah-weeeeeet.
Contestant on Rock of Love Bus Tour 2
Why this could work: I AM IN HIS CORRECT AGE BRACKET! I also know all the words to “Highway to Hell.” And I think it would do him a nice bit of good to see what a set of REAL 42-year-old breasts look like for a change. If anything, it would make him more thankful for what he has.
Contestant on Survivor
Why this could work: This would be kind of heavy on the outdoor stuff, right? Hmmm. I’m going to nix this one. Sure, it’d be GREAT for weight loss, but I’m not sure if going insane from bug bites, heat and being forced to stand on large totem poles in a bikini would do a whole lot for my self-image. And let’s be honest here: I’d be voted off the first week. I can almost hear it now: GAWD, if she talks about how she wrote two books on scrapbooking one more time, and how she USED to have this killer job, and how she was thin before she quit smoking I am going to vote MYSELF off!”
Contestant on Making the Band 14
Why this could work: As Dan likes to say, “They STILL haven’t made the band?” Um, they haven’t met me yet. Yo, Diddy, call me! Hey… there’s ANOTHER idea:
Contestant on I Want to Work for Diddy
Why this could work: After he saw my commitment to making the band, I’d be a shoe-in.
Apprentice to Cesar Milan
Why this could work: I may not have a dog of my own, but since getting digital cable, I watch The Dog Whisperer RELIGIOUSLY. I know how to be calm-assertive, and make the “chhh” sound. If Cesar would just give me a shot, I would not only help dog owners learn to be better pack leaders, but I would also give them fantastic tips on how to make mini albums celebrating their dogs’ everyday successes. I would say things like, “Um, that’s not REALLY a strong visual triangle on the page. You need THREE paw print stickers to make it work.”
I guess the point of this blog post is to say I am fully aware I have options. One of those things that is not an option, but an absolute, is keeping this blog alive and humming. So no worries there! Heck, maybe now I’ll spend more time on proper sentence structure. You know what they say—dream big!
On a more serious note, I really want to say thank you to the loyal (and even the fair weather) readers of Simple Scrapbooks over the years. We so appreciated your interest, support and passion. You can look forward to seeing the Simple message continue as part of Creating Keepsakes magazine in the future.
Now, does anyone have Cesar Milan’s mailing addy?