It was just over six months ago that I came on here, all full of vim and vigor, talking, apparently out of my ass, about gettin' fit and losin' weight and bein' all that I could be.
You remember… I made the funny cover of me on my own version of O magazine. It was shore 'nuf funny stuff. Good times. Woo hoo. That Cathy. What a wackadoo!
Late last week, I found myself in for my annual "Ladies Business" exam, which means in addition to making uncomfortable small talk while having my nether regions reviewed, I also got to jump on the old doctor's office scale, also known as the Evil and Blinding Messenger of Truth and Ego Destruction.
And you know, and I know, and EVERYONE knows that the doctor's scale is always WAY more than your typical home scale, right?
So when she stopped on 179, I just chuckled, and said something to the effect of, "Is this thing stoned?" and quickly stepped off.
Then I launched into my, "Did you know I quit smoking three years ago, and used to weight 140 pounds and thought THAT was heavy" litany, the same one I also like to give anyone I haven't seen in a while, and the nurse just smiled, and patted the back of my hand and said, "I used to be skinny too!"
Sigh.
I'm stuck. And I don't feel all that witty or clever or fun right now. Just puffy and round and on the verge of jumping into the 180s and beyond.
I wish there was a pill I could take, just one time, to solve this issue. Even if it meant I'd immediately grow a tail.
I know what it takes to do what it is that I seem to want, but right now, I seriously just want to throw up my hands and say: TO HELL WITH IT! GIVE ME THOSE PRINGLES NOW!
I'm sure when I'm thinking clearer I'll regret this post, which is beginning to feel a bit like a drunk dial.
At the same time, I just needed to piss and moan a little about this. I don't feel cute. I don't feel strong. And I don't feel like I have what it takes today to do anything about it.
Thank God for tomorrow, right?
Whine session, over. Thank you.
katef says
I hope you don’t regret this post because I can so relate and I bet I am not the only one. I bet there are heaps of people out there reading this that are nodding along and knowing just how you feel right now… now if only there was some mad scientist reading that could invent that pill… I’d look stunning with a tail!
Toni Brockliss says
I think you are gorgeous.
Suzzi says
You aren’t the only one…
I am nodding my head too for sure.
This pill would not only help people and the economy – tv as well.
Project Runway could do a segment on how to accessorize the tail…
Moderation on the pringles. My weakness when I was in the late 30’s before gravity hit.
Kirsty says
teeeeeeell me about it. I go through so many ups and downs. I fluctuate with a difference of 56lbs either way. Im the upper end of that 56lbs right now – again.
This is my research
Shakes seem so inviting and then so boring after the 13th one.
Starvation lasts but a day.
Detox gives me the shakes after 48 hours.
Atkins is not for bread and pasta lovers (ie me).
Weight watchers….. you always try and sneak an extra point here and there – then give up because “its not working”.
If I dry fry my meat (ie no oil) but add creamy sauces to it – its ok?
Exercise is the only way but man, its too hot.
These short term “magic fixes” are not the way and none of us want the long haul either. The long haul is too long and yet it usually works.
Im embarking on my 6th epic long haul this week. Ill let you know when I get there.
Tanya says
::::steps on soapbox::::
Girlfriend – you must stop this insanity of being so down on yourself! You are your own worst enemy, you know that right? You are a beautiful, witty, creative woman, whether you weigh 140 or 180. Love, accept, and embrace yourself for who you are, not what you think you should be! Hang on, you’ll get there!
::::steps off soapbox::::
heather mc says
ditto to all the above;)
Becky Swisher says
Appreciate who YOU are and your incredible FAMILY and the LIFE you have been given… not the number on the scale… It is NOT a measure of your worth!
heather mc says
ps great pic. hope I look that fine battling 179ish.
Susan says
Hang in there. If you’re like me (and you are, at least insofar as 1)I topped out around 180 and 2) IN MY MIND, my just and true weight is about 140, which I doubt I will see again), motivation ebbs and flows. It will flow again, and you will catch that wave.
Robyn says
I so feel your pain – I truly do……hang in there!
Cheri says
Cathy – I was there with you six months ago with all the hype and rah-rah about where we were headed and I’m there with you right now, weighing the most I’ve ever weighed in my life. I honestly don’t THINK I eat all that much bad stuff. My body says otherwise. But you can be fat and STILL be creative, kind, funny, and just plain wonderful!
I’ve got a couple of book suggestions – “Good Calories, Bad Calories” – is a difficult read because it is very technical and cites to a lot of studies over the years about weight and the link to heart disease and other stuff, but very eye-opening. “SugarBusters!” – still making my way through this one. Easier to read – mentions the studies cited in Good Calories, but not the technical stuff, just in passing. Some real food for thought here.
shelley h says
for exactly 9 days i have been retraining my body but mostly my mind. the book, the metabolism miracle by diane kress, started me in the direction i needed to go – perhaps you have metabolism B and young lady just because something is hard does not mean you shouldn’t try – cathy, you are amazing and beautiful and if this is really getting you down, get up lady. i don’t even know you but i know you can do it. just sayin’ is all. need a buddy to kick you in the a$$, call me!!!
Gloriak says
Go ahead and whine, long and loud sister!! Get it out of your system and I gotta tell it always makes me feel alittle bit better, purged you might say so I can get on with the much hated work of trying to live healthier!
Pam says
We really were separated at birth! I am so right with you!
Judy Sanza says
I am a Grandma and my scale has been creeping up for years…so not only do I look in the mirror and scream…”Mom?”, but I can never figure out why I have this tire around my middle. Soooo…I’ve begun again. If I can begin again so can you! I am going slow…lots of water, riding my bike, walking only “1” mile on the treadmill today (increase a little each day), and doing Wii Fit for just a little (I like to scream at the voice). I follow FlyLady and she always says you can do anything for 15 minutes. So today I begin again. I’m smiling…I swear I am!
Don’t give up…I depend on you for a smile and inspiration each day!
Shanon G says
I think we as women need to stop beating ourselves up and get over the fact that we are all beautiful and loved no matter what.
I read your blog all the time and I am struggling to lose some weight as well. You made one amazing change in your lifestyle when you quit smoking and did you quit on the first try? Just stick with it, try your best and at the end of the day you will feel good about yourself.
~amy~ says
Okay, if it makes you feel any better, I loved your post, it made me laugh but what I loved even more are the comments…in a nutshell, I think we all gotta be happy with who we are…You are a successful woman with a gorgeous family…I’m just sayin’
🙂
Sara says
It’s always a struggle. I lost 23 lbs since January, but gained 4 of it back recently. I know what my problem is, but just don’t seem to want to change. One thing that helped me (when I was losing) was to say to myself: Let today be your tomorrow. It sounds corny, but it doesn’t let you give yourself an excuse. Good luck
Stefanie says
I can so relate.
Started my diet on the 1st of January…now we’re in th emiddle of winter and I still don’t feel like dieting. My baby is nearly 10 years old…can’t use that as an excuse anymore. And have you noticed that clothes are so much smaller now?
Julie Mitchell from Montréal, Canada says
You are loved no matter what.
Kristin Kanner says
I’m with you. 42 has not been a good year for my appearance or my big fat a–. Pour yourself a glass of wine, you’ll feel better.
Rachel Burgess says
totally with ya. It sucks to feel down but thankyou for saying it cos its great to know its not just you!
And then tomorrow I geuss we can all just start again! ;o)
heather mc says
CHECK IT!!!! http://thedailydigi.com/its-time-for-a-new-relationship-with-food/
Read it last nite and liked its simple message…..
chiara says
it is a daily struggle for me so I hear you. I am starting again today after a month of binge eating. Good luck you find away.
Louise says
Dear Cathy,
I recently made WW lifetime – but only by “cheating” and upping my goal, twice, by a total of 12 pounds, so, yup – still feel like a big, fat, failure. (I started at 188, was aiming for 138, have settled for 150.) Everyone tells me I look great – but when I look in the mirror I see no change. I’m not sure what I was expecting – but not this. And although point counting has worked for me, it continues to be a daily struggle and I’m not sure that it’s really worth it.
So I echo everyone above who is telling your you’re gorgeous & talented and to ignore the number on the scale or on the tag of your skirt. There is no corrolation between ‘thin’ and ‘happy’ – I know you know that, we all do, but if we all say it enough perhaps we’ll start to really believe it . . .
Best wishes, Louise
melissa says
I love your honesty. I love your frankness, I love your humor when indeed you are in angst over your situation, I love this!!
When I first pulled up your post I was like WOW Cathy is smokin’ look at her hair.. she is totally digg’n the groove of herself. Then I started reading and I felt my pain through you. I have not reached high numbers but I have reached numbers I am unfamilar with, and I have reached a place in my body that doesn’t represent good. I too know what I need in order to get back to a stronger more fit me but I don’t. I would rather sit on the computer and drink coffee all day.
So keep being honest and I am sure you will see that you are NOT alone.
Thanks for this post.
~ alli ~ says
You’re beautiful, and you can do it.
When you’re ready.
You WILL do it when you’re ready.
Lisa L. says
I can so relate. Thank you for your honesty. The harder I try, the worse it seems to get. You are beautiful! Don’t give up. Hugs.
Marsha says
I feel your pain. I weigh more than I did on delivery day with both my children. Hang in there!
Judy in Huntsville [al] says
Let’s all start again TODAY – I have five weeks before I turn 50 and A YEAR AGO I said I’d get in shape before the big 5-0 — and I’m right where I started [maybe a bit heavier – my all-time pregnancy high too…]so after a week of anything goes I’m READY – surely i stick to healthy eating for FIVE WEEKS!
Betheroo says
I don’t diet anymore, I have an eating plan. No foods are bad or off limits. Portion control is the key. I’ve found exercise that I enjoy, mostly yoga and Zumba (I love to dance, and I know I may look stupid doing it, but it’s fun!). Some days I do well, others not so well. I’ve lost 20 lbs. this year, but got stuck this month – made more poor choices than good ones. This is harder than quitting smoking – yes, I’ve been there too. So hang in there Cathy, all you can do is keep trying.
Audrey says
I swear it’s just not you. I always have been successful at losing my winter gain by summer, but this year I gained more weight since January and haven’t lost a pound. AND I’ve been dieting and exercising ALOT! I swear it’s something in the water. I know so many people who have not been able to lose weight this year. Yet I can’t give up. I don’t like myself when I’m overweight. I always remember something I read from Bob Greene. If you’re not losing weight, you are probably exercising just below the level of intensity that you need. So sweaty workouts, here I come!
Vintage Mommy says
Me too me too. At the moment I’m at a (sort of) reasonable weight, but not a comfortable weight and I’m obsessed. I’ve been worrying about my weight for 40+ years – what a waste of energy.
You are beautiful and talented – as so many others have said – at any weight. But I understand the discomfort that comes with feeling heavy.
I’m starting a new program if you’d like to join in; wrote a bit about it on my blog.
Vintage Mommy
Hang in there!!
allison Gottlieb says
Thank YOU so much for being honest. I am in the same battle with weight, and some days I just feel like going for the pringles as well. Trying to get to a healthy weight is the hardest thing that I have ever tried – and I promise myself daily that no matter how much I fail at this, that I will keep trying. No diet is going to help. I HAVE to exercise, I HAVE to eat less. It’s that easy. EASY – HA! Keep on battling girlfriend – we will prevail…..
Jenell says
Well, I’m right there with you Sista! I feel puffy and bloated and fat and I’m just not a happy camper and I don’t feel like doing anything that I know I should do either. Had my Thyroid checked, now on meds – they told me I may lose a little weight – excuse me? ? ? I have gained at least another 5-10 pounds of blubber around my middle. And it just gets worse. We’re in the same boat, Cathy! I’m just glad that the battery in my scale died and I really can’t figure out how much more I’ve gained, but I can certainly tell in my clothes. So glad that thyroid med is working!!!
We’ll get there . . . . I’ll hang in there if you do!
grungedandy says
Hey I’m with you except I’m topping 224 if I worked it out correctly! So I’d be pleased as punch to be where you are now! But I know it’s not about the number really it’s about the feeling (being an ex bulimic, I know a fat bulimic LoL I still have my moments of weakness but I’ve learned to love all of myself too much to keep hurting me) if you don’t feel happy it doesn’t matter what anyone else says – it has to come from within!
The trick is to get back on the horse no matter how many times you fall you just have to keep trying & remember to pat you self on the back for all the good things & stop punishing your self for the little / big slip ups!
I really would like to be under, 112 but that is never going to happen again I was very ill & I looked awful when I was that weight, so my goal is to eventually be 168 ish
But I will settle for 217 this summer & I will try and take off another 7 in the winter and just keep going with the small numbers till I eventually find my self nearer that eventual goal! So good luck with your journey & don’t worry about the side roads & detours, just keep going forward! Seeya Hugya *G*
Tammy Vasser says
It’s okay to whine once in a while. Get it all out. It’s just like having a good cry. You’ll feel better tomorrow and then you can make a plan and kick some butt! – or rather lose some butt. Just remember no matter how thick your skin is on the outside, you’re still beautiful, witty, funny, clever, smart and no amount of fat or skinny will change that!
Linda says
I hear you, sister! My head knows exactly what to do, but my hand keeps shoving food in my mouth. I’m a lifetime WW member who fell off the wagon a long time ago and have just been supporting the organization with my money for quite a while. I like your idea of the pill — oh, that it were so easy! I write this after just having finished piled high cheese toast. Argh!
Susie says
Oh Cathy, I’m so with you. On my wedding day I weighed 114 — I’m more than twice that now. I’m 62 and my knees are giving out. There isn’t anything more basic than the ability to walk and I fear that if I don’t take off a hundred or so, I won’t be able to move when I am 90.
So I am starving myself with a very low fat diet. Really. I don’t eat solid foods until sundown — or 7pm in these long summer days. I drink OJ and coffee before then. I put in some yummy coffeemate — no trans fat — and that’s it. Brutal, I know, but I am desperate.
Angie says
Cathy, I can’t even tell you my “tales of the scales” without bursing into tears. Life used to be good I used to be skinny and I don’t have any idea how to get there again so I know how you feel. I wish I had some wonderful and witty words of advice but right now I can only think to tell you to persevere and to send you as many virtual hugs as you can possibly stand.
Elizabeth says
Cathy, you are not alone. Why do you think there is such a large diet/health section in any book store? There is money to be made on creating diets that just don’t work. I’m trying the Push Myself Away From The Table diet next (I made that up, but it’s not a bad idea.) Nothing has worked for me so I may as well try that.
Ness says
Wow – I could copy and paste that post to my blog ! You summed it up so well – the way soo many of us feel RIGHT now! Go That one Pill !!
I am all for the .. “please Lord let me wake up skinny and I PROMISE I won’t put on weight again” I am on the downhill to summer (in Oz!!) so I am thinking more and more about it … Good luck to us all !!
Wendy says
Cathy, I so love your honesty and your humor and like most everyone’s comments, I’m right there with you. Just turned 48, and Sister, let me tell you, it ain’t gettin’ any easier. I was just looking at pictures from 5 & 6 years ago…yikes. I guess I’ve reached that “certain age”. It sucks, totally! The funny thing is that what I see in pictures taken today (when I allow them), is not what I’m seeing in the mirror, you know? Now, I know I’m a fabulous person, a great mommy (10 & 7), terrific wife and my DH & friends even tell me I’m beautiful. But I don’t really feel beautiful at the moment with all this weight. But hang in there! Cause it sounds like we’re all hanging in there together! You’re definitely not alone!
Rachel Smith says
I’m right there with ya, babe! But I want you to know that I view you as confident and beautiful, which is more than I can say for my view of myself. Just know that your weight really has nothing to do with the person you are inside, and the person YOU are shines through so brightly, it’s stunning! Chin up!
Sarah says
I was horrified while pregnant when hubby announced “You know, by your next appointment, you will weigh more than me!”
I desperately tried to keep it under 200… good thing baby didn’t go overdue since I think I was <2 pounds away from that one!
No matter what you weigh, remember that it is what is on the inside that matters most.
heidi says
Same situation… I only wish I could blame it on quitting smoking 🙁
Susanna Boyd says
Thank you for the post – please leave it up. I identified with your story and even matched up with weight to about 4 lbs!
I’m trying to make better choices and move more. Keeping my wine. Keeping my style. Love it that you put it out there that I was not alone.
Amy says
you are not alone. you are not alone, although I know it doesn’t matter at all that other people are in the same boat. I hate myself for letting my body go. I feel disgusting and gross. Totally unattractive. Don’t have much energy, don’t want to play with the kids, don’t want to do the business with my husband. It is a sad state and I just can’t get out.
merideth says
i’m empathizing with you. plus, i weigh a mere 5 lb less than the day i checked in for my c-section 4 years ago.
but mostly? i wanted to ask about your “ladies business” appt – did you wear your business socks? might have made it more fun…
Dianne Nelson says
I understand where you are coming from, and it’s okay to whine and moan for a bit.
That being said, I’ve recently and reluctantly decided to keep a food diary. Something I’ve avoided for decades, even though many successful weight loss stories credit a food diary as part of their success. I’m using the “lose it” app for my ipod touch. It’s super fun! Kind of a game. For the first time ever, I’m really thinking about the things I eat. You can also include your exercise–and there are a lot of options there (Hey! I conducted the choir on Sunday–that’s 5 minutes of exercise according to the lost it app! Write it down!). Anyway, just wanted to pass it on because I think it’s helping me, and might help you too.
Good luck! Fight the Pringles! 😉
Mindy M. says
I cracked up at the drunk dial comment. Wish there was something I could say that would magically make you feel better (between that power & the magical diet pill we could be millionaires). I personally think you’re an awesome, witty person whatever the number on the scale is. Ahh, that’s so cheesy, isn’t it?
Caroline C. says
Your post sounds exactly like me! Only the last time I weighed this much I was 9 months pregnant! It’s terrible when your desire to eat those Double Stuff Oreos outweighs everything else…and they’re just so darn satisfiying!
Tami says
Cathy,
You are so witty, creative and real. Since I started reading your blog, your passion has inspired me to step out of my creative doldrums and be myself – all 170 lbs of myself!! I have no magic pill for you, but just a word of encouragement – you bring smiles to faces you may never see and inspiration to creative but tired spirits. And if that doesn’t help you, I bought two of your books last week, so now you have more snack money!
pam says
Been there, done that. Finally changed my eating habits and spent A LOT of time gardening last summer (it’s great exercise and it’s away from the kitchen) and lost 20 pounds. I’m still not as healthy as I’d like but my pants are finally comfortable.
You’ve been through a lot in the last year – with SS and all. Be kind to yourself. You will find the time to do something, just like you did when you quit smoking.
You are still you.
Cyndi says
You and I are the same age and the same weight (within 3 or 4 pounds) and feeling the same lack of motivation to do anything about it. Yeah, whatever, we’re creative and funny and love ourselves, but damn I’d like to be all of that while carrying a lot less blubber.
Susan Schacht says
ME TOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Whine whine moan moan bitch bitch I’m fat too bitch whine I want to smoke again too moan moan bitch I’m heavy bitch I love cheeseburgers moan moan whine whine.
Thanks, Cathy. I needed it, too. 🙂
Sharon F. california says
Ditto to all the above, especially the gal on the soapbox…well done.
And I must tell you – get yourself in check now…its a slow thing to get the weight on and a slower one to get it off. But because you are younger than I and no one told me this when you his the Menopause stage…weight seems to be virtually impossible to shed. I am told when its over – its a new ballgame – I hope its true. I have been walking and training every morning for the AVON 2-day walk. One would think “hey I am burning calories here…let’s see some of that “dough” tighten up little “Miss doughboy” oh no you di’nt…that scale says the same thing it did 6 months ago before I started. And I am injecting mydiet with fruits and veggies, light dinners, etc. What gives? I just need to work harder. Or not. I decided that when I focus on it too much it does not budge, so trying a new tact. I am not going to worry about it…but will continue to eat healthy and when I am actually hungry. In surveying my recent eating habits – or jaunts as I like to call them – I discovered I am really only eating because I enjoy food. What a lame excuse! I need to eat for fuel and if it tastes good – extra bonus points.
And you are absolutely right…tomorrow is a new day. Get on the stick now and make friends with yourself cuz its gonna get harder don’t let yourself get to 49 then start focusing do it now, from one who knows…words of wisdom my friend. I in it with you and I have a few extra miles on these bones. But I know I can do it, as Stuart Smalley would say, “because I like me!”
Theresa Grdina says
I’m right there with you and all of the other posters…loving ourselves no matter what is the hard part. Losing the weight? a long-time-life-long battle…..
Stacie Albrecht says
I feel exactly the same way. I’ve been trying to lose 15-20 lbs since my daughter’s birth 3 years ago and it seems impossible. I can especially relate to your last paragraph and I hate feeling that way. Each day is a new day to start over but…damn.
Diane says
No look at all of us girls that feel the same way, I am in my 50’s and boy it is a struggle to keep in check. I need / want to lose 15 lbs now you would think wow how simple, NOT it too is a challenge. Thanks for being so honest, and good luck to healthy choices.
Hugs, Diane
Elaine P says
If my actions matched my intentions I’d be a supermodel. I’m not looking bad right now, but I definitely don’t look my best, and I know that.
I’ve committed to working with a trainer three days a week, and having someone to report to has really helped me out. That number has not moved, but my body is shrinking and that’s more important to me anyway. I’m finally getting more content with what I see in the mirror.
Still bugs me that it’s 25 pounds heavier than when I hit my WW goal three summers ago. If I weighed that now with this much muscle I’d look like a cancer patient, I think.
But yeah. I wish I’d stop talking about fixing it and actually CONTROL MYSELF when it comes to the snacking. But I always figure it’s “just this once” and it won’t matter.
And yet it does. When I cheat every day, it freakin’ MATTERS.
Hugs to you… I totally understand. 🙂
Kelley says
You make me laugh so much!!! I am in the same boat. I do really well staying in my WW points for a 2-day stretch and then temptation takes me over. *sigh* I have been wishing lately for a quick fix, too. Meanwhile, the creeps up higher and higher…
Melony Wells says
MY ADVICE – TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT 🙂
Give yourself a break, a lot has happened in the last year and you have dealt with it the best you knew how and now you may not like the results but those pounds are your cushion from the stress & pain…don’t HATE them, thank them for doing their job and then slowly start to let them go. Assure them you are feeling more prepared to deal with the stress and pain in a new way and they are free to go. GET RID of the judgmental scale (I hate those things) and trust your clothing to tell you what’s what. DO NOT COUNT CALORIES – this just makes you have to think about food more than is healthy. If you were trying to get over the effects of an event would thinking about it all the time be the way to let it go…um-NO. Food is food, you know what’s good for you and you even know how to balance out the good and the naughty food. Don’t deprive your self or you will rebel and over-indulge. Go for walks – the exercise your body needs does not require a gym membership it just needs you to move around. Treat yourself kindly and it will reward you with what you want from it. Enjoy your summer with your family and be happy because you ARE a happy person – don’t fight it 🙂
Christy B. says
I only have one suggestion…www.settingcaptivesfree.com
(-:
dmatthews says
Cathy,
Please be kinder to yourself!
Lara Jane says
Dude. I weigh more now than I did when I had Henry. Like, 20lbs more. I know my weight isn’t “who I am,” but “who I am” isn’t this fat girl I see in the mirror, either! You know?
It kills me that I gave birth to a 9+ pounder and came home and put on size 6 jeans. Now I couldn’t fit one leg into them! (Yeah, I’m still hanging onto them. So?)
My doctor recently diagnosed me with hypothyroidism, so hopefully the meds will help balance my metabolism and give me more energy to be the fit girl that this fat girl has swallowed whole.
TracyBzz says
Move more, eat less. So simple, yet so darn hard!
I started WW towards the end of January. I was 169…not into the seventies, no way now how. So I feel ya on not wanting to gain that one extra pound. I am now 154. It’s taken 22 weeks to lose 15 lbs. I cheat a little here and there. It’s tough to always know the points values. I am living not dieting. Which is probably why I’m still slowly doing this. I want to lose another 15 lbs, hopefully that will happen by the end of the year, but if not it’s just a lsow and steady battle.
Lezlee says
Aw, honey! Huge hugs! We love you, no matter what. “Dieting” per se is just not going to cut it – obviously. It really is a life change.
I noticed a couple others mentioned books – I’ll add to the list. These are SERIOUSLY good reads – logical, total sense, easy reading, INCLUDE great recipes and a great program to follow. I’ve been maintaining on it for 3? 4? years now. Check out the first book, The South Beach Diet by Arthur Agatston, M.D. Came out at the time the whole food pyramid debate was hot and that ALL protein diet thing was happening. THIS plan won the “debate” – “debate” is truly no longer – THIS is the current FDA and society recognized way to eating the right foods. Current issue – The South Beach Diet Super Charged – DOES cover the intro stuff and is actually more current with more recent research to support it, also adds exercise program ideas. There IS an online support group – I’ve never gone there – costs $$. I’ve just run with the books. Offers a whole new way of looking at how what you eat really does affect your whole body chemistry and sets you up for this cascade effect of “cravings” from the time you wake up and put food in your face. There IS a 2-wk “cleansing” period that’s recommended. That’s where you have MAJOR weight loss. Food is still edible – honest! AND you get to eat/graze all day! Idea is to NOT get hungry! It’s basically a blood chemistry “re-set” period. Seriously – take a peek. Life changing stuff.
Love you bunches! We’re with you – no matter what.
Lovebug Kat says
Piss and moan away Cathy, we all have those days.
Remember it’s what on the inside that matters, and we have all seen that what is on the inside of you is an amazingly talented, gifted and giving woman…the outside is just packaging, and who gives a damn about packaging…seriously, when’s the last time you cared what the Pringles can looked like? We all just want the damned chips, kwim?
Ann says
I too am 20 lbs from where I want to be. I got there once, but have not been back in awhile. The frustration you’re feeling is exactly the same for me. It’s okay to feel this way & vent about it! It will happen in due time, you just have to want it worse than Pringles. 🙂
Darla says
Thank you for being so honest about the way you feel today. I have been struggling with some extra pounds that seem to multiply each year. Hooray for clean slates, and the things that get us up and moving again on the path to being healthier. Find what motivates you, and use that as a support. Whether it’s reading a good magazine like “Prevention” or flipping through a fun scrapbook you’ve made, encourage yourself as if you are your best friend who needs help in this area. Because you are, and you do. We all do. And I’m starting again today, thanks to your inspiration.
solace says
Funny. I was just looking at the calendar thinking “Didn’t I say I was going to lose 50lbs this year?” Now it’s half done and I might even be heavier. Here’s to hoping I find the drive soon. 😉
Sidney says
I also have success with the South Beach Diet. I do it online and it works for me. Your cravings disappear if you stick with the program.
Maureen in IL says
I agree, you are beautiful inside and out. I read your blog, see how talented and funny you are, see your beautiful children, and gorgeous hunk o’husband, and envy your family and life. So many things to be thankful for in our life. I too, fight the fat, and as others have said, it only becomes more difficult as you age. Now at 48, it simply won’t come off, and I hate it. I, too was a skinny girl once, and as a new wife to a younger husband, it’s become a bit of an issue for me. *sigh* Keep up the good fight, but don’t let it become all you are. We are all so much more than a number on a scale. Disclaimer: This wisdome comes from the bottome of a bag of Cheetos I had to finish just so they are gone and no longer a temptation.
Jenny in Illinois says
I went to bed last night completely ready to work on my trophy wife body. But when it was time to leave for the gym and the kiddos were still sleeping, I convinced myself that summer is the time that the kids get to be lazy. Then I went into the kitchen and had a piece of chocolate cake.
Shana says
well girl…wish I could shove a piece of cold fresh peach pie thru the blog to you – it’s some good summer comfort food while we all weave between the sizes! you’re SMALLER self is in there, she’s just a lil too bucky to show herself these days — she’ll be back……one day, all our skinnier selves will surface once again 😉 love far western MN!!! lets all sing together now: movin to the country, we’re gonna eat a lotta peaches….(repeat – literally having it stuck in your head all day, but it does move to a nice bouncy step) thank you to the Presidents of the USA : Lump! and tis the season for your dessert now too. it’s a definate YouTube for your moment (if you had this piece in front of you it’d be completely ironic) “Only watch YouTubes that correlate with what you’re currently snacking on!” rule for the day
Tanya says
We’ve all been there, sista! It will pass, then it will come again. Such is life- hang in there!
Barbie Schwartz says
Girl, I totally feel your pain. I gained all my weight not after quitting smoking (I never smoked) but after my thyroid stopped working right. So you’d think that after the meds corrected the thyroid, the weight would come off, right? WRONG. And I totally feel that need to explain why I’ve gotten fat to everyone I meet. I hate that my once cute, size 2 body is now a size 14.
Tinkersdamn says
I have never been skinny, petite, or even plain ‘ol thin. Oh wait, my mom said when I was [B]6[/B] I wore petite jeans. Great. When I was 12 I had a complete stranger tell me that I have nice wide birthing hips (oh yeah? 2 c-sections later, I beg to differ), and when I was 16 my grandmother said “Wow, you’re built like a brick sh*thouse. You ain’t gonna blow away!” Now I’m 29 and ecstatic when I can dry my jeans all the way and STILL get them on. I’m 5’6 and I weigh about 174 lbs. I realise I only have a few more years till this weight is truly glued to me. I realise my back would hurt less if I had better abdominal muscles. I’m am starting to get spooked by the appearance of bingo wings.
But I like Pringles too. So I fight with myself, and throw out the junk, and walk more, cut back on beer… and then slide backwards again.
But if I can get bone-dry jeans on without having to stop breathing or lay down to button them, I count myself lucky.
Di Hickman says
In Dec I had my “yearly humiliation exam” and I weighed in at my heaviest. Prob not heavy by a lot of women’s standards but the heaviest I’d ever been at 148lbs. That week I started working out again. Since then I lost 20lbs and am down to my target weight. I didn’t count calories persay but I did make sure my calorie intake was lower than my calorie output. I tracked food/exercise 5 days a week with http://www.livestrong.com and made sure my portion sizes were in check.
I guess it does help that I used to be a fitness instructor & personal trainer, something which I am going to be getting back into but really the “rules” are the same for anyone barring any medical issues: calories in have to be less than calories out. Aim for around a 500 calorie deficit a day and you’ll lose about a lb a week (slow and steady is the best way to lose!). Drink plenty of water, and make calories count: nutrient dense rather than simple sugary crap.
If you want any help let me know, I’d be happy to give you some pointers and hold you accountable!
I definitely recommend the site livestrong.com to track calories/exercise as they count down and tell you how many calories you have left to consume each day. The site does the science and math for you 🙂 Plus they have an iphone ap which may just push you a little more to give in and get the iphone! Or make that your goal for say a 20lb loss! Goals are important.
Debbie says
OMG, are you in my friggin’ head, or what?!?
Thank you for letting us all know that we aren’t the only ones having your experience with weight. I want to lose weight, but I’m really not up to such a struggle right now….or that’s my excuse!
Kymberly says
I wish there was a pill I could take, just one time, to solve this issue. Even if it meant I’d immediately grow a tail.
—
Well, I don’t know about a tail (yet) but I can tell you that I hit that point myself in January. One moment you swear you are a slim person with little effort and the next it’s like you woke up overnight and weighed 40 pounds too much? Yeah, been there. Done that. Got the XL tee shirt.
I was doing everything “right” but still the scale didn’t move. I finally did what “they” always say and “saw my doctor.” She agreed that the poundange seemed to be packing on far too easily and gave me an Rx for Meridia (Google it). No it’s not one of the ones that make you afraid to leave your house or sneeze. It’s not a fat blocker. It’s been around for years and, so far, (knock wood) I’m down nearly 10 pounds. In a very short amount of time. I still have to eat healthy and walk 3 miles per day but it helps. It really does. I think it nudges the metabolism awake or something.
So there’s one pill. It’s not magic and effort IS still required but if you swear you are doing everything right and the weight isn’t moving – you might look into it.
Good luck!
Linda says
Been there with you Cathy–rigth now I am losing–but a daughter’s wedding is the motivatiing factor–I feel for you girl!!
Lisa Russo says
The best thing for you is to hit bottom. Have you hit it? When you’re just totally disgusted and say “I’m not going to do this anymore.” For obsessive folks like us, we need that kick in the pants to make the change – and once we do, it’s DONE. 🙂
tena says
When I clicked on your blog this morning the first thing I noticed was the pretty pic of you! You look good.(fabulous actually!) I can tell you are bummed out about what your scale says, we have all been there at some point in our lives and we have all felt like we are just not up to whatever program we choose to follow. Don’t be hard on yourself! You will find what works for you….hold on!
Lori Hudson says
Dieting sucks because eating (and drinking!) is just so much fun. Also, it’s not like you can give up your fun for a couple of weeks and then it will be all better. NO! you have to give up your fun for months and months and then after that you can only have a little bit of fun for the rest of your life.
I blame the youth and skinny obsessed media.
Heather says
I feel like you are preaching to the choir. I have had all of these same thoughts this monday morning. And I can hardly stand it. Heaviest I’ve been since pregnant. Sad and annoyed by it. Trying to do something about it, but it is just so damn hard. Hang in there. =)
Kris Van Allen says
One of the many who are right there with ya.
i was “this close” right before a hysterectomy last October….then i put some back on with the lack of activity.
now it’s 104+ every day here, only getting to a low of about 80 at night. NOT condusive to walking at any time of day or night!
i SO want to get “below a buck fifty”….i want to see that evil doctor scale move the BIG slider, and hear that “clunck” sound!! i know it will sound so much sweeter than the clunk going the other way!
Amy Patrick says
Check out the book Fight Fat after Forty by Pamela Peeke. I know you’re not 40 yet, but there might be a few insights you can gain.
Terianne says
I’m with you, Cathy. I’m going through the same thing.
Hillary Chybinski says
Been there – am there. . .and clearly so are all these other peeps that hang out with you on your blog everyday. . .are you happy? are you healthy? (ok – weight aside) . . . then let it go – take a deep breath, and pick ONE THING to change. . .work for the 21 days to make that a habit, and then add something else. . .none of this all of it all at once crap – we all know that’s a bunch of hooey. . .oh and I “know” all this – but am not a practicer either – big hugs all around now. . .
Hillary
Sarah B. says
Yeah, I’m going through this too. I joined WW about the same time you did. And all I’ve managed to do is GAIN 5 pounds. I’m feeling pretty hopeless about it too.
Jackie says
I agree, gaining weight sucks. I find that whenever I mention the word “diet” or “fat” I gain weight. Every.single.time. I dug out my copy of “The Secret” (from that one Oprah show) yesterday and it really makes sense. When we focus on negative (fat) things, we attract more negative (fat) into our life. If we focus on the positive (skinny) then we start to act like we are skinny. I bought the audiobook of it and am now listening to it. I am determined to be a skinny, healthier person again and to stop thinking like a fat person! Good luck on coming to peace with all of this, you look really great by the way :} :}
Melissa Goerke says
Ahhh….as you can see you are not alone. Even a motivator like myself struggles with this weighty issue. I’ve actually been looking into Overaters Anonymous and the mechanisms behind the urge to eat when I am not hungry and to eat things that I know are not good for me. I feel like a complete and total addict and I suspect that I truly am. I have ordered this book from Amazon and promise I will let you know what I think and if it is worth a read…
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0936077131/ref=ox_ya_oh_product
Vanessa says
Hey! Quit reading my mind. It’s just plain spooky.
I know what I have to do, hate how I look now that I have gained my 35 lbs. back for the third time, and just can’t seem to keep the fridge door shut (glad you can’t see the chocolate chip cookie next to me right now! Oops.) The one thing I do know is that I won’t do it until I’m really ready. I just wish I knew when that would be, but it will come.
So for now I hope you will join me in taking a deep soothing breath and giving yourself a break.
Hang in there!
marsha says
I feel your pain!!! I appreciate your honesty and I love how you top it all with a healthy dose of humor!!
When you find the magic, please tell us all! I hate being “fat”, but I have so little will power and ambition. Excersizing does make me feel better about myself. Dieting is just plain hard! and I do like food!!
To me… you are gorgeous! WTG on the quitting smoking. If you can do that, you can do anything!!! {I quit about 1 1/2 yrs ago.)
Angie (mommiextwo) says
Sigh. I understand, really I do. I’m so tired of thinking/worrying/obsessing about it, too. I’m on day four of my new ‘eating program’, trying to zoom up my metabolism. I did get a new ‘do’ and that helped some. Hang in there. You’re amazing, as you can see from all these posts! We’re all in the same boat, floating down a river of fat. 🙂
di says
o.k. It is really scarry when someone who is litterally 1000 of miles away, reads your innermost deepest thougths then writes for all the world to see.. Scarrryyyyyy! You have just brought to life the voices that have been lurking in my head for the past year. Please tell me we are not crazy, that we can and will do somthing about this small person we are carrying around that will not go away with the simple process of giving birth. Oh wait, that is where it all started. ah…. TODAY we have to start today… Thank you for putting out there that which I was chicken to do myself. Going now to grab some celery! (burns more callories to eat than there is in the food. why oh why are potato chips not like that!) sigh
Julie says
Oh, hon. We all need a little kick in the pants now and again. Go back and re-read your O-magazine post. Print it out, post it on the fridge or on the inside of the tater chip cabinet. You can do this!
Sara says
Ok, so I don’t know if you’ll read this, or if it matters much. But, I know how you feel. So many of us women do. I don’t have the answers, but I can tell you what worked for me.
6 years ago I got pregnant with my son. You’d think I could blame pregnancy, but NO! My PRE-pregnancy weight was 204 pounds at 5’5 inches tall. No joke! I was wearing all of my unhappiness. (not that that’s what you’re doing.)
By pregnancies end I weighed in at a 229 pounds. I even had one rude doctor tell me that I had no excuse, and that just because I was hungry it didn’t mean that I needed to get up and waddle to the fridge and eat what I wanted. UGH!
Anyway, so after my son was born I was determined to make changes. That when I read and followed Dr. Phil’s Ultimate Weight Solution (I think that’s what it’s called)
It’s soooooo very simple. Really. No calorie counting. You’re eating like 5-6 times a day, and after the first few weeks I adjusted and didn’t feel like I was missing out on anything. I ate out once a week. Whatever I wanted. The rest of the time I followed the plan, and was full and feeling healthy.
I also followed the fitness plan. All I really needed was 20-30 minutes of cardio 5 days a week, plus 3 days of weights. (that took like 15 minutes)
In 6 months I went from 204 pounds (my pre-preg weight) to 140 pounds!! No joke. I lost 15 pounds the first month, and 10 pounds each additional month.
I HATE weighing myself, so I only weighed in once a month. (when my pants were falling off I knew it was time)
I have since put back on some of the weight (15 pounds) but I’m going through a divorce and the stress is a lot. Haven’t been taking care of myself.
Anyway, my point is. You can do this. I recommend that book. It’s simple, and it works. And it does change the way you eat, and how you look at food. It was good for me and the whole family.
Also, don’t beat yourself up. Which, you know. You’re gorgeous. This is your ONE LIFE, and it shouldn’t be spent hating your body. (I should really take my own advice)
Love you Cathy!
Nancy L says
Oh, I hear you loud and clear. I am trying to lose weight too, or at least watch it, but on the way home from work I just had to stop for a hot Krispy Kreme, but asked for two with a soda because that is the deal and of course the people know me so well from all the years of going there that she gave me six and of course, because that sugar was so tasty and the donut just melted in my mouth, I ate three before I got home. Oh well, if I skip breakfast and sleep through lunch, maybe the points will disappear.
JJ says
You are not alone!
Kym says
I’m chiming in.
I’ve been pregnant three times. I have one living child.
I’ve eaten my way through grief and it shows.
My self confidence is in the toilet and I have no motivation.
Reading this post and these comments makes me feel a little less alone. Thanks.
Aubrey says
Cathy, I think you’re my twin. 🙂 I understand what you’re saying exactly. I could’ve written that post myself….well, not the quitting smoking or getting down to 140 part. The being overweight and feeling stuck part. 🙂
Sick of being heavy and sick of being sick of being heavy. No answers here (obviously in the same boat) but I’m with ya. (((hugs)))
Britiney says
Ahhhhhhh. Pringles.
tracy says
I am sooo with you – trying to lose the baby weight and it is such a struggle with cookies, ice cream and coca cola calling my name. (Would it work if I changed my name?)
With that said, I think you are beautiful. Love you, for you!!!
Laura Campbell says
Whew, I feel better just reading that, do you feel better getting it out? I’m so not happy with where I’m at weight-wise and I’m not even brave enough to type the number, so you’re one up on me there. But today, I just can’t bring myself to do more than whine about. So pass the pringles, would ya?
Sherry Coleman says
With my luck, my tail would weigh at least a hundred pounds…
Kathleen S. says
Clue. It’s preparation for menopause. No one told me in time, so I’m telling you ahead of time. Guess what those little fat cells produce in addition to bulges? Estrogen. As you head toward the inevitable, your primitive brain says hey, whasup here? and starts preparing, Tucking in extra little estrogen factories to tide you over the hormone switch. Well before the big M is even on your personal horizon. Take heart, it’s not you, your battle is bigger than calories. Just keep taking high angle photos and you’ll be fine.
Terri says
lighten up on yourself!!! you have been going through some stressful life changing times with career. There is bound to be some escape eating going on for a while.
Gayle says
I’m with you Cathy but when I start getting too down on myself I try to remember that life is too short and dammit food is just too good. Let me know when you find that pill . . .
Deborah says
I would love to weigh 179! I am strong in all other aspects of my life except the weight….I feel like I am using up some of the best years of my life being fat. Husband loves me no matter what but the wieght issue consumes me. It is soooo hot here in Texas and I would love to wear some cute clothes but my thighs and stomach and arms get in the way……whine whine whine…could menopause have put me up to this?
Lisa A. says
How can we support each other?
Thanks for putting it all out there so bluntly and honestly.
I weigh the same as you so feel sympatico (is that how you spell it?)
I’ll gladly give up desserts but not my wine!
Theresa says
Regardless, that picture of you is AMAZING!!!
tryshia says
I am right there with you sister! I LOVE THIS POST! Bring on the pill that will make us grow a tail, as long as it takes the weight off, i don’t care.
i love coming to your site, and reading your honest, heart felt posts, you make me feel not alone in this.
so THANK YOU! and there is always tomorrow.
Come on tuesday!
love and light*
Tryshia
Ottawa, CANADA
tryshia says
P.S. u r gorgeous!
nic says
I hear ya! I gained 50lbs AFTER the birth of my third kid… how the heck did that happen?!?
you are beautiful though – so don’t stress it!
Tirzah says
By the looks of your post and these comments, this is such a universal battle. It kills me. I’ve had 10 months of success with WW, but still have quite a ways to go. I can so relate with your anguish. I’ve determined over these last months that it really boils down to simple math…eat less, exercise more…but it’s just so hard some days. I am so sick of counting points. How can it be so simple and yet so hard at the same time?
Last week at our meeting the lady at the scale had a great quote for me. “Losing weight is hard. Maintaining weight is hard. Being fat is hard. Choose your hard.”
I picked up a book at the library I’m hoping will help. I’ve heard great things about it. It’s about having a healthy lifestyle, and I’m hoping it helps me not become one of the group who regains all they’ve lost. It’s called “The Culprit and the Cure” by Aldana.
After a night of sleep and a new day…choose your hard…and go for it!
cheri p. says
I am so there with you. I, too quit smoking(for good) around the same time you did. I was skinny when I smoked and I LOVED smoking….I really miss it. I gained 30 pounds and got up to a size 16. Please check out Sparkpeople.com It’s a great free site kind of like WW online but free. You enter the things you eat and it tracks the calories, protiens, fats, ect each day. They have message boards that has some wonderful support and inspiration. They also have easy to follow exercise videos. After you do the exercise videos, you add that to your day and it deducts the calories you burned. Sparkpeople.com really helps you keep on track. Both my sister in laws and myself have been doing this for a while now and have been having great results. It free and easy…what could be better than that!! Good luck!!
Fabi says
Hey Cathy! We all hit (what we feel like) the bottom before we kick back up… So what if you are a little over weight? You’re still smart, witty, has thousands of fans to support you,…
One single pill won’t solve the problem, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with getting some medical help to help us control a few things…
You rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cindi says
Just a little bit of info that has helped me out tremendously in the doctor’s office.
When they ask me to step on the scale, I simply reply, “We’re skipping that today.”
No one has EVER insisted. So, I haven’t been on a scale in a doctor’s office in years, and it will be years (or dozens of pounds) until I do step foot on one.
Heather Crawford says
Ummmm, did I just write this post?
Hannah Wilde says
Don’t regret this post, it helps to know that others are fighting this damn fight too. How did I get this FAT!!! I wanna do something about it, but………. truly lack the will power, get up and go or what ever, it’s just easier not to fight it. But don’t YOU fall into that catagory – at 58 I am not sure I even want to tackle the “trials and tribulations” of trying to loose weight, but you have your whole life ahead of you!! Go for it girl!!!!!
Liz says
I totally identify with this. I was in the “Oh who cares” camp this weekend. But today, I’m in the…”gosh, I sure am hungry” camp. My perspective is…all that you need to do to lose weight is to have the “I can do it” days slowly start to outnumber and dwarf the “to heck with this, I’m hungry” days. I wish you the best of luck…the only reason I am still successful at trimming my waistline is because I still smoke. =(
Laura L says
Right there with you! I am a reasonably intelligent woman currently working on my doctorate, working full-time, and raising three kids. I know in my HEAD what I need to do to lose weight — been there, done that before! But…I can’t wrap my heart around actually DOING it. Not sure why…but I don’t want to use the excuse of “when you’re ready it will happen” !!!
Gwen says
I am so glad to read about your struggles, because they are mine too. It feels like a task that has no end or rewards. Keep blogging about it. It encourages me to take my own steps toward better health.
Theresa says
Hi Cathy,
Everyone has pretty much said everything I would have said to you. Just wanted to tell you I was up to 196 lb. (I’m 5’3″) I wondered why I was always feeling hungry. Then, I stopped taking some medication I had been taking for 12 years. All of a sudden, my appetite was 1/3 of what it had been! I have lost 30 lbs. in about 5 months with little effort. I don’t know if you take any meds but I just wanted to tell you that if you do, a side effect could be increased appetite.
Kelli says
I can so relate! I’m probably my heaviest in about 10 yrs. It sucks. I was watching tv last night, The Pallbearer of all things, and then looked at the clock and decided it was too late to drive to the store to get Pringles, and the more I thought about it the more I wanted them. So I ate a bun instead and it just wasn’t the same.
stacey says
okay, so I wasn’t going to post because I figured that you would have stopped reading comments by now, but I see via facebook that you are, so here goes!
we all have things in our life that we wish we could be better at, that we wish we could stick with… things that finish sentences that start with, “if only i could stay on track with _____, my life would be good.”
the ironic thing? mine is scrapbooking. i stalk your blog and ali’s blog, and all i think is “oh, man. if i could only get my butt in gear and actually DO a page.” i think about it. i dream about it. i plot revenge on my scrapbooking procrastination.
but do i do it? NO! instead, i get mad at myself over it. i’m not good enough. i’m not creative enough. i don’t have enough time. i don’t have the money to spend on it. and then i pull up your blog and ali’s blog and i think… gosh… how the heck can THEY do it and I CAN’T??
the point of my story? we all have this “block” in our lives about something. yours is the scale. mine is an empty scrapbook album. my son’s is potty training (AUGH!!!).
just know that everyone out there is frustrated about SOMETHING. it’s only fair. 😉 GOOD LUCK!!!!!
ps — I’ll run on the treadmill for you if you’ll scrap a few of my memories!! LOL!!
Kristi K. says
Oh, Cathy! I feel your pain. I’m 40 lbs. heavier than I should be, and my normal weight loss tricks aren’t working. I just spent four days at a summer concert festival and have never felt so fat, dumpy and just plain out of it. Nothing like seeing cellulite-free, tan legs in short madras to make me feel like a fat cow. I wish I could just embrace the weight I am now, but I just plain HATE how puffy my face looks. At least I can hide the cellulite with capris.
Michele Stevenson says
Oh me….I am SO feelin’your pain. My daughter is 8, I can’t blame it on baby weight anymore 🙂 BTW, I think you look fab.
Tamie Spears says
I made the big mistake of going swimsuit shopping yesterday. After 4 hours at the mall, I came home with nothing. What happened to the cute 1-piece ones that sucked everything in for you? You know, the ones that can make you look 10 lbs slimmer instantly. All I could find were those dumb tankinis. If I had the body for a 2-piece, I’d buy a bikini! At 20 lbs overweight, I’ve given up on dieting. I just try not to buy junk food — if it’s in my house, I’ll eat it! You look fabulous in your photo, by the way…
Bonnie Lewis-Watts says
I’ve just finished going thru chemo and radiation treatments and am off for a radical hysterectomy mid July and they told me that while going thru all this I was NOT to lose any weight as I need to maintain my stamina for the surgery! But other than that I’m right there with you on your post. After the surgery, my plan is to do something about it except I’m waiting for the “I just don’t feel good if I don’t exercise each day” mantra to actually mean something to me. I’ve had this plan for several years so maybe this year will be it, who knows. Now a pill I could go for…
Betty C says
I so feel your pain. Being the director of a dance and gym school I have no excuse. The pain of having to stand in front of a mirror for hours each day seeing what’s happening to me is awful. I just can’t seem to get myself under control. Pass the Pringles please…oh, could I have the M&M’s with those too?
[sue] says
I hear you clucking big chicken…it’s hard to think skinny when recreational eating is such a part of my life.
Michelle A says
You seriously rock Cathy!! Having the cojones to come out with your struggles. But look at all the women who are right with you. I have been struggling since before having 2 boys and now I am at my heaviest, 230. I hate it. I don’t love myself. Reading your post and all of the comments just boggles my mind. We are all smart, strong women so why is this such a struggle. I wish I knew. I wish it was something I didn’t feel ashamed to talk about with loved ones. I’m pulling for you Cathy.
cori barney says
I feel your pain. I am in the same boat. If it makes you feel any better I think that you can write your ass off! (If only that talent could literally make us lose our ass!)
Rita says
You need to MOVE! I so hope you find an ‘workout/exercise buddy’.
I would echo the sentiment about getting up and dancing around your room when the music moves you.
Curious as to what the Dr. said about weight?
Still pulling for you….
R
Cindy McDannold says
I don’t worry over my weight anymore. I have come to a place in my life where I am comfortable with myself. Should I lose weight. Yes. Will I? Don’t know, don’t care.
As I’ve grown older I put importance on other things and I truly have felt more at peace with myself, my family and those around me. We go through a time of learning what is meaningful in our lives. You are beginning the journey. Rant if you want to. You have the right!
Nadia says
a big fat hug from me! I still luv ya and think you are SO beautiful and not because of how you look, but because of how you speak. the truth! and that is beautiful to me. I see a lot of people are offering up suggestions and so I too will offer mine. my doc suggested I stop worrying about my weight because I am actually doing my body more harm by inflicting all that stress on it. I would be better off stuffing in the junk and enjoying it. huh? another thing she said to do was to read “I can make you thin” by paul mckenna. how ’bout it? in any case…hang in there! ciao!
Trude says
I SO hear ya. Without soccer, I have no idea how to work out, except for long speed walks with the dog, and can’t afford the gym. I’ll get there when I need to, but I know exactly how you feel. But take solace in the fact that you’re awesome at everything else!!
jen says
i would be so excited to be at 179 again..
you need to relax, it doesn’t matter what you weigh..its whats inside that counts right??? except my inside are full of cellulite…
Steph says
Oh god, you seriously crack me up! I TOTALLY understand your pain. I keep thinking I’m such a smart girl and I do ALMOST everything right and yet I can NOT find the willpower/ motivation to get the damn weight off! I’ve been telling the universe that I want a different problem for years now. I’d like to switch my vice. The universe isn’t listening.
Stacy says
Did you jump into my head and write this post about me? I am RIGHT THERE WITH YOU!
Bernadette says
I’ve got the cheese…and it is good cheese too…but I won’t share and hence I’m here too. Amazingly, when I have something big to do, I can get it done. I got “in shape” (didn’t really drop weight, but could swim a lap or two) to go to Everest Base Camp (only because the fear of God was in me that I would die if I went in couch potato form). I got “in shape” to fit in that smaller than I shoulda ordered dress because I didn’t want to have to pay for alterations to my wedding dress last year. My husband laughs (gently, but still) when I say I’ma pull it out and zip it back on in a couple of weeks.
But when I have a hard goal I’m working towards and it is far enough out, I get it done. That whole healthy for life thing is just not a tangible enough concept for me. It sucks. But at least I’ve come to know it.
Megan Renfree says
As so many others have said Cathy, you are not alone. And it does totally suck. I am so freakin envious of thin people. I have always struggled with my weight, and being only 5 foot makes it all so much worse.
I succeeded it losing a heap of weight a few years ago (50lbs), and felt so good, then last year I got sick and have been on a whole cocktail of drugs since, which includes steoids, which as you may know makes you put on weight. So I am fat again…and it sucks, and its so depressing. But I am trying to be positive about it. I keep telling people I am going to be one of those jolly fat people with a bright kaftan and purple eyeshadow, but inside I am screaming cos, I’m not really jolly. But it is what it is!!
On the bright side…I don’t look at you and see a fat person, I never have. I think you look fantastic!! So try not to put too much pressure on yourself, you might not be your own ideal, but I bet most people around you, including your kids and hubbie still think you look pretty fab!!!
And when your ready…really ready, you will get there!!
Hugs!
Megan
cynthia says
I’m not gonna say much friend. Adored your honesty and all the wonderful responses. Remember “it is never to late to be what you want to be”… I love this quote, it always gives me hope and makes regret a little less of a sting. The 100 extra pounds I carry around yes I know is not good physically, but most of all makes me feel less of what I was meant to be. I know it shouldn’t, but it does. A distraction from who I really am. And damn it I would love to rock a good comfortable pair of boy jeans:) too.
Sharon says
I read a great book a few months ago called “Eat for Keeps.” You will never have heard of it as it was written by a guy in a small town in New Zealand (where I live). The message I took from his book was to keep it simple and just change one thing at a time…change Pringles for apples…then when you feel strong enough to change something else…walking for slothing on the couch…and so on…
I have also read a couple more great books recently by this chick from the States… called Cathy someone… She was open, honest, clever, cool, funny, on-to-it and REAL! I loved what she had to say about my fave hobby, life, the universe and everything else… She really made me feel good about how I was doing in all those things. I have no idea how much she weighed and I don’t really care. She rocked!
If I ever remember her last name, I’ll email it to ya so you can find the books on Amazon. They were good!
Take care
Sharon
robin says
I weigh more now than when I was pregnant with my first child, and I gained 30 lbs with that one. I can totally identify. I would much rather hear someone whine a bit than give me a bunch of crap about how motivated and strong they are. I absolutely believe that I am more than the number on my scale and that my friends and family love me the way I am but many days I would rather wear my skinny jeans. If you figure out how to reconcile it all please let me know.
ellan says
You are speaking for every woman. I think we’ve all have been there, done that or gonna do that. My story is that within a year of turning 50 my bod decided to start gaining a pound of week. Severe food watching would stop it and lose about 10, then it would start all over again. Declared a big party for my 50th, ate what I wanted and came up with a plan to not join the family in weight and blood pressure H E double toothpick. So far so good. Have lost 19 of my goal of 20 pounds in 3 months (I’m little so 20 was a lot to me). The plan is considered radical in my family. It is eating (1) healthy (low salt, fat and simple sugar), (2) organic (I react to every chemical made by man), and (3) vegan (my bod does not like animal products), and (4) exercising. My dog has changed her whining from please, please, please, to, do we have to go for a walk again? Time will tell, so far I keep scaring myself with blood pressure horror tales, which are unfortunately true in my family. I wish you all the best Cathy.
Erin in Delaware, USA says
just had to say “I hear you!”. I went on medicine—that works wonders in other areas—less than a year ago, but it’s shot my weight up 20lbs. I keep swearing off food, but I just can’t stay away. We’re here with you.
Maureen says
Totally feelin’ your pain. Off topic – re your class – when we sign up do we get the 411 on what type of pics we should be taking. I spaced on ECWAL and I want to have some pics in a Me file so I have a bit of a head start this time.
georgia says
i read that post months ago and was nodding right along with you. and here i am today, reading this one and nodding again. hopefully 6 months from now i’ll be reading an “aren’t i hot?” post and nodding then too. we can do this….
Katy says
you’re preaching to the choir…
sing it sister, sing it.
Ali W says
there is a pill. it’s called HCG. and it works. my dear husband has lost 25 lbs with it and looks and feels great. if he can do it, anyone can as he has zero willpower! look at http://www.diyhcg.com or http://www.curaromana.com or check out the numerous HCG Yahoo groups.
Monica says
Oh I totally relate to this too … so thank you for posting.
I’m at 179 right now too and tho it sucks, it’s better than 200, which is where I was a year ago. I’m still gunning for 150ish, but I don’t know how I’ll get there, b/c I’ve been doing the WW thing for over a year and while I did lose those first 20 lbs, then next 20 lbs are proving to be really, really hard to lose. I OFTEN feel like, “TO HELL WITH IT ALL … I’M JUST GOING TO ENJOY MY LIFE, and EAT …. DAMIT!!!!” But then when I do, I hate myself all the more. It just sucks. This whole weight thing sucks.
Brooke says
Cathy, I was there and I made it out. I am a physician and know so much about weight loss, but couldn’t do it for myself. I am 5’7″ and weighed over 170. Around my 40th b-day I told myself “this is just what you look like at this age.” Then I woke up the next morning and decided I am not going to give in without a fight. I looked ahead a few months and could see 6 mos. with no travel, no big holidays, and decided that was the time. I hired a trainer, started WW. I found I was eating 3x too much.It took a year but I lost 30 lbs. That was 3 years ago and I still weigh in the 130’s. Look ahead for the right window, make a plan, then do it. We love you no matter what you weigh. But you’ll love you when you get this mastered. Wishing you peace and success. Brooke
Barb says
Sending a hug your way, Cathy. I’m sure you’ve had lots of awesome advice from all your blog followers already, so I won’t blather on, but I just wanted to let you know it’s okay to wallow in it for a bit… but not for too long. It’s the getting up and fighting back part that’s important. I know you have it in you. I know you can. You’re too awesome not to. 🙂
Rebecca says
Cathy,
I have never been where you are now. All I can do is wish you luck.
Rebecca
Beth in WI says
I truly enjoy posts like these. Its nice to know that a person I admire is human!
Brooke says
“Have you hit bottom?” I think it was Lisa above (comment #84) who asked this. People who are successful at weight loss or quitting smoking usually have something that sets them off. For me, it was out-growing “normal” sizes. I refused to go to the fat stores for my clothes. For my sister, who was also successful, it was hitting 200 lbs. Not sure why 200 was “fat” and 195 was not, but once she hit that mark, she was determined and successful. What are you mad about? What do you refuse to settle for? Oppose that thing and you might find the energy to do this.
Rhonda P says
I feelm your pain and I mean I really do. I am in the same boat. Almost everyday I hate the way I look, the way I feel but can not seem to find the uumph to do what I know would make it all better. Also pushing the upper 170’s but I bet I’m shorter than you. And right now I am loving the Pringles. When you find the pill, please let me know!
Kristie says
A tail? Totally would be worth it. 🙂
What I have to keep reminding myself is …. no one else cares but me. Not one other single person on the planet cares that I’m twenty ::cough:: thirty pounds overweight. My husband loves me; my kids love me. I even love me, but I HATE the way I look.
(sigh)
Just know I could have written that post myself and its clearly resonated with lots of us.
heather says
drunk dial…that’s funny.
Deborah Hensley says
It’s already been said, but seriously Cathy HANG IN THERE! Believe in yourself! I like to remind myself that the weight I gained didn’t all occur on in one day, or even a few weeks, and it takes that long and sometimes even longer to take it off again! I have lost weight, gained it all back, and lost it all again! It is a difficult journey, just one step at a time. Even if they are small ones, it all counts!
Elaine says
Is that a photo of you NOW? I saw it and thought how pretty you look. I know, yeah, yeah, but it’s true. Have you ever heard Sophia Loren talk about weight? She says a woman needs a little more weight as she ages to counteract the effects of gravity…or something like that. Of course, I’ve never looked like Sophia Loren. Be good to yourself.
The Emperor has no Clothes says
Well, as usual, it looks like I will have to be the bee-atch here and be the odd woman out. Sorry, I’m not joining in on your pity party.
I am tired of reading about this on your blog. I’m tired of reading your tweets about your having eaten half a bag of chips, and three fudge bars or whatever, as if you don’t know that’s bad for you. Make up your mind and either make the changes you need to make or be happy with who you are and stop posting about it. (And enjoy that half a bag of chips!) But if you continue to whine about your weight and then turn around and eat chips, well then, what on earth do you expect??. Oh, I’m sorry, is that NOT what you want to hear??? You wanted sympathy? No, sorry, read the 100 other comments.
My husband started Weight Watchers for the FIFTH (or was it FIFTIETH?) time at exactly same time as you, in January 2009.
This time, he stuck with it. Unlike you, he is still on the program. (You gave up.)
This time, he did not just sign up for the internet Weight Watchers (that was last year’s experiment), which did not work for him. (I already posted this piece of advice on your blog at your last pity party.)
This time he attended every single meeting, where he could talk about his “food addiction” issues with others who understand and can help.
This time, he lost 20 lbs, and has actually dropped a size. The other day, his pants were actually LOOSE. He fit into a suit he bought 12 years ago. This is the first time in the 20 years that I’ve known him that, instead of talking about losing weight, and whining about it, he finally figured out what is wrong and is fixing it.
And he did it with the Weight Watchers meetings, where he get the help he needed with food addiction.
His goal is 30 lbs and while, it’s taking longer than he thought (he set it for March!), it’s in sight, likely before the end of the year. He’s going to renew (again) his Weight Watcher’s membership because that one hour a week when he gets to talk with others actually helps him.
And guess what he discovered? There is no easy pill, no easy way out. There is only one way: you eat what you’re supposed to eat (not more), and you exercise a little more. And, if you do eat that half a bag of chips, then you just make sure it fits in with your points for the week.
But you know this, don’t you?
So, please, stop whining and either (a) be happy with who you are and enjoy those chips or (b) get on with it and make the changes that you want to make.
Jill P. says
I am getting married in 54 days. I weigh 20 more punds NOW then what I weighed AFTER my son was done nursing 4 years ago. I CANNOT stop eating. I DO NOT want to exercise. I TRY to remember that this is the happiest I have been in years and that weight is just a number. IT SUCKS!
Ami Pilon says
The doctors SCALE: Scheming, Calculating, Analytical,Lying,Enemy. Oh how awful for you. If you can find the time, you might try reading In Defense of Food. I read it and changed the way I eat and I don’t crave the harmful stuff as much. I wish for you healthful eating, never a diet.
Ginna G says
Hey just “go with it”.
I can so relate to what you and everyone else had to say in the comments.
We all need to remember that as time goes on we will NEVER be what we or the TV “thinks” we should be.
The bigger question is are you happy? Do you have people in your life that you love and love you (no matter what the scale says). Are you, your kids, husband basically healthy? Everyone together? Have Shelter, food? Life is so about the moments and not the #’s. Focus on how GOOD things really are and don’t sweat the # stuff.
Blythe says
Being skinny is so overrated. I’ll take funny, witty and an excellent writer any day. True, it doesn’t get anyone into cute skinny jeans but it’s makes us memorable.
AnnB says
I’m available for lunch and dinner if you want to talk (read: eat) about it. 😉
Hugs.
Manon says
oh you’re so funny girl!! Have a look in the mirror and see how gorgeous you are!! Don’t let scales decide wether you’re gorgeous or not… they have nothing to do with it (and no, you’re NOT fat (but you are very funny ;)!!)
Jo Andrew says
I so hear you too. I’m in such a low about this right now and have no energy to change it! I know what is happening, the kilos are adding on to my bum and I’m in denial that it is happening, one day very soon i’m goiing to wake up and think crap, how am I going to get all this weight off. It just seems to creep on without realising. I was so skinny befor kids and I just can’t seem to shift it after my third baby. It’s nuts really how much of my day i spend whinging and complaining and feeling depressed about it yet I still struggle for the motivation to change it. When you think of great soloution can you share it with me 🙂 Just remember you are always the same you inside, whitty, funny and amazingly clever so hang in there. Don’t ever regret a real post, your kids will so appreciate this when they are going through this in years to come and i love that you likened it to a drunk dial hee hee LOL.
Tamara says
You know what … most of my life is about not being cute enough, or strong enough. Sometimes I just piss and moan about it, but lately I’m getting past that. Because really, I don’t care about how cute or strong I’m supposed to be. (Ok, I do, but I don’t care ENOUGH … does that make sense???) Mostly I’m ok with being MARGINALLY under 100kg (Aussie – don’t know what the equivalent is!!) just shutting that nagging voice inside me starts to complain that maybe I should be a bit thinner, I shut her up with chocolate. Love ya, Cathy, and I think that the fact that you have these moments makes me love you even more!!
Cass says
Sending a big cyber hug from someone who totally understands where you are coming from. Hang in there, girl!
Jill in Frisco, Tx says
Here, a drunk {hug} to go with your drunk dialing. At least we aren’t drunk driving.
Just know, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!
♥,
~Jill
Sarah says
I love this photo of you…you have the world watching your back it appears..you are happy and strong and have an amazing family that you are at least partly responsible for that you share with us every day. The numbers on the doctor scale? Hmm..a reference point, but certainly not THE point. Be good to yourself. Period. Life is way to short.
Heather H. says
Funny you posted this today. I got on the scale this morning (and it is not my friend either) and I weighed the SAME as I did the last time they weighed me before I had my son, who was born at 39 1/2 weeks! THE SAME!!!! I almost shit myself! But I kinda knew I was getting there. Oh, and he’s three. And it’s not like it’s been this way since I had him. I’ve put 20 pounds on since I had him. I was only 10 away from my pre-pregnancy weight. I kick myself on a daily basis but it’s usually while holding a diet coke in one hand and a hershey bar in the other! I don’t have any good answer or advice. But I feel your pain. I have begun consoling myself by finding other women out in public whose butts are bigger than mine. Sometimes then I don’t feel so bad. I also don ‘t look at my rear view too often!!
lisamcg says
This quote made me laugh and at the same time think “Yep. Me too.”
“I wish there was a pill I could take, just one time, to solve this issue. Even if it meant I’d immediately grow a tail.”
Give yourself a break and then jump on that wagon. You can do it.
charleigh says
i hear you sister! i’m there too & sometimes it feels like the pit is too deep to crawl out of. we both know what we need to do (eat less & move more) but dang it takes alot of motivation … (((hugs)))
Diane says
Amen sister…AMEN!!
Holla,
=) Diane
Kara says
I am nodding my head right along with you. I am so understanding your frame of mind today. I just want to know when you find it can I try on a tail too?
Roberta says
Oh my…what love and support you have here Cathy…that should make you feel better:} I’m a little behind on my blogging so just read this “whine” post of yours and it made me laugh…as you always do. As we age…I’ll be 49 this year…it’s so damn hard to lose and so easy to gain…ugh! Last year I also “threw my hands up” and got off the “diet” band wagon…found Depok Chopra’s books and a Personal Trainer in England, Dax Moy…who believe in “whole foods” and “you are what you eat”. It just made sense…Americans are overweight and have more obesity than any other country. Dax believes that it is because of the “crap” in our foods…because we have taken all the nutrients out of our foods our bodies are still “hungry” and so we continue to super size and eat more and get less from our foods…no nutrition what so ever…including our infamous “Lien Cruisine” frozen, convenient foods. I HATE EXERCISE…so you will never find me in the gym…JUST GOT OUT OF THAT JOB MARKET IN DEC. AND HATED IT…since last year I’ve lost over 20 pounds and have kept it off. I’m only 5’2″ and my weight was 168…now I’m at 146 and continue to SLOWLY lose…that’s okay…I feel better and do not have any guilt or need to measure up to others. Hope this helps…didn’t mean to go on and on…fondly, Roberta
Sebnem says
It’s loke you read my mind. Literally the same things ‘ve been thinking and saying for a while now! Don’t give up!! You’re not alone!
Phyllis R. says
Oh Cathy! I can so relate to what you are feeling right now. We know how to eat right, we used to be able to take weight off so much more easily, but it’s SO HARD AFTER 40!!! I recently joined Weight Watchers, but I go to the meetings and weigh in every week. The plan works when I track what I eat and WRITE IT DOWN. The weeks that I don’t track are my worst weeks. I think WW is an excellent program, but if I tried to do it on-line by myself, I don’t think it would work. It’s so nice to have the weekly support plus the accountability of someone else weighing you. Just my humble….
Thanks for being so honest with us! Love you for that!
Kelly says
Lawdy Lawdy, welcome to being over 40 my dear! I’ll skooch over and you can sit by me on the old lady bench…..{*snort*}
I guess you know, as we all do, calories in, calories out. Exlax, anyone? haha!
Andrea says
i had a day like this yesterday- after having lost ten pounds and gaining them all back.
im starting to think worrying about our weight has become a ridiculous obsession.
think of how witty, creative and blessed you are. then just think about being healthy. i say screw the pressure to exercise and run marathons… blah blah.
as long as we are healthy enough to keep up with our beautiful children.. who cares what the scale says!!
(thats what im going with today anyway)
JoLynn says
Wow! I’m comment 101. That should tell ya, Cathy, you are not alone. Right now, I weigh more than I did during Pregnancy 1 and about 40 pounds more than I did a year ago. I have been suffering with depression, on meds, bloated out like crazy, and now I am miserable… right there with ya. I have waxing and waning motivation issues. What I will say is I UNDERSTAND. I have no idea if that helps. What I cannot give you is any sage wisdom. I have been the queen on the yo-yo diet since I was in high school… back when I was THIN{ner}. Scary part is that heart disease killed my dad and I should know better than to be so apathetic. I have always been wickedly active. This stage of my life is just pissing me off, and I am a month away from 40 to boot. WAIT… suddenly this became all about me. My message to you… I am thinking and praying for all 102 of us! Being a girl sucks sometimes.
Nancy says
OMGosh you have read my mind and apparently dozens of other women as well. i despise that the things that used to work no longer do, and the same amount of effort produces fewer results, but one thing is for sure, it’s mostly in our heads (attitude adjustment). so i don’t have that magic pill either, just know that we love ya and are right there with ya!
Canay says
I feel your pain sweetie. As I read your post, you were describing me just yesterday. I put on some shorts that should have fit me and didn’t. Right at that time DH was thinking we could get a little “frisky”…I am so…”don’t even talk to me right now”…Need I say this was not a good experience.
All I can say is that it totally sucks and there is no magic pill we can take. It is all about eating less and exercising more. (easy to say but oh so hard to do!)
Maybe we can start a scrapbookers support group. I need all the help I can get!!
hazelblackberry says
Well, like Paul Weller, total spunky man of the century – this and last, sings in Changing Man:
“What I can’t be today, I can be tomorrow.”
Hang in there. You’ll make the changes when you’re ready. Love yourself as you are now. Don’t start from a place of self-loathing.
I’d fit in a few more trite lines but I think I’ve said enough.
Sherri P eh says
Cathy, I can so relate to you and so many of your readers here. I’ll be 47 next month, my oldest is one four, youngest eight, and I am only two pounds shy of the weight I was at when giving birth to both. I’m weighing 176 baby, and it really did creep. Started with the wii active exercise program when it came out, but found out there was something wrong with my knees that all of the squats and lunges exacerbated. Discouraged, and haven’t gone back to any form of excerise since then, almost a month ago. Spent last week at the Outer Banks, in a swimsuit, and now I have a stack of photos to shudder at! I have to read all of the comments here in depth for a possible solution. Plenty of souls to commiserate with here. We can do it, for health and self satisfaction!
Betsey Terry says
Cathy..please hang in there..whatever one else said rang so true..as did your original post.
I’ve been struggling since i was 13..when a lovely old biddy neighbor said..oh you’ve put on a few..and it’s been downhill/up-scale since.
I would love to be in the 100’s again..but first I decided i had to love myself today..and then I could work to that..and i have to tell you it’s been great..and oddly enough..20 pounds have vanished since Feb 10th…I have been reading Dr. Nancy Snyderman’s book “Medical Myths That Can Kill You: And the 101 Truths That Will Save, Extend, and Improve Your Life”, it has a lot of great information and I know in following has helped to contribute to my loss (and i dont usually read these types of books..but she was my ENT and love her as a doctor!)
Jackie says
I hear ya Cathy… since I’ve hit the over-40 mark it seems that I just cannot for the life of me lose any weight. At least I’m not gaining even more, but I cannot seem to lose the weight I’ve put on. Okay…so it’s only 5 kg…but it makes a difference. I mean.. what do I do TaeBo for twice a month, huh??? lol Lack a time and patience I guess.
bettyann says
oh boy you have guts to post your feelings..wow..so many of us feel the same, of being hopeless with the weight gain, I think I have lost and gain thousands of lbs. over my 58 years..when I was 8 the dr. put me on “speed”..I still gained weight, but lost the ability to feel hungry …so I feel for you..!!
denise says
It’s only halfway through 2009 – you STILL HAVE TIME!
I have found that signing yourself up for something challenging in the future is a GREAT way to motivate yourself.
For example…
I have done 2, 60-mile breast cancer walks. The walks themselves are awesome and inspiring, but it was the training that I really needed. Something “out there” that I needed to get off my butt and get moving for.
Right now I have planned a 5k run for the fall and am in the middle (week 5 of a 9 week) training program, “couch to 5k” – seriously…that is the name of it).
good luck!
Missy Paciorek says
You know there are so many women who can relate (see the 197 posts above). I have also creeped up within the 200 range, which terrifies me. Personally the thing I miss the most is feeling like an athlete. I always was in high school when there were a team of peers and three coaches screaming at me to do it! But then, that was the easiest time to be fit. I was looking at some pictures of myself back then (128 pounds if I remember correctly, and of course I do) at the ripe old age of 18. And as I was pining away for those days of yore, I remembered that even then (at my lowest and healthiest weight) I was STILL unhappy with myself and thought I could lose at least another 10 pounds and I hated that I had a teeny pinch of the dreaded “back fat” (which makes me laugh out loud since I have uh…more than a pinch we’ll just say…of back fat now). I agree that we should strive be healthy, but I also acknowledge that as women we could always be just a little more this or a little more that.
We are rarely happy with who we are at this very moment. So I am striving to do that and remember that while most people look on the outward appearance, but the people who love me look on my heart.
kelly in NB says
we’re here for ya sista! i truly believe you can have whatever you want, just in moderation. Having a “buddy” to go through it helped me to do my cardio(hated it at first, but now…i don’t know why but a light has come on and i REALLY want to go to the gym. it’s enjoyable now…seriously if i read this last year i would probably make a snide remark.
it’s not easy to loose weight , and really the number itself can’t matter…..it has to FELL RIGHT to you. so don’t get hung up on the scale number, get a buzz off of feeling healthier and having more energy and feeling more confident about yourself.
you can do it! we know you can….we believe in YOU!!
liz a. says
oh what i wouldn’t give to weight 180! sigh! once upon a time i weighed 120, 6 months after giving birth to a child…sigh!
and yes, i wish i was 145/150….but, i also have come to the realization that skinny people aren’t necessarily happier, there are a lot of things i can do and enjoy and eat that skinny people will never do….and it’s not like there is a contest anywhere!! now, if only i could find nicer-looking clothes in a size 16! who thinks that heavier women look good with splashy flowers across their ass!? really? really?? (can you tell this is one of my pet peeves…ugly clothes for women who no longer wear size 10………..sigh! hahahahahha!
anna says
halluja, someone who thinks and feels the dame as me. I soo relate with this post. Infact a GF sent me an email and told me to come straight over and read this post.
Keep strong Cathy
hugs
Anna xx
Lyn says
I wish I weighed 179.
Sarah C. says
Hi Cathy,
Love the blog. I also signed up for your “everybody can write a little class,” but true to form, I didn’t follow along. You’re welcome for the 35.00 dollars. 🙂
Anyway, I have two words for you and your weight loss struggle – BODY BUGG.
I have been using it for about 11 weeks, and I am finally (after two years) at my pre pregnancy weight…a 25lb loss.
I really could go on and on about the body bugg, but let me just say that I love it, and it has changed my life… seriously, it is weight loss for dummies. I finally get it! http://www.bodybugg.com.
Good luck!
Sarah
Bonnie Hoover says
Cathy,
It’s okay to have a pity party as long as it’s a short one! It’s also okay to w(h)ine now and then. And as my grandmother used to say, “don’t should on yourself”.
Be good to yourself but also remember, life is short.
Your best friends and family aren’t going to remember you as thin or heavy. They will remember you as the beautiful, talented, witty, generous, and loving woman you are!
Ally, UK says
Hey, We are only Human! You are only Human! And to top it all off, we are Women & Human! We have to cope with the stresses of life and sometimes everyone elses as well! Its not easy but we do it. Cathy, you are beautiful no matter what you weigh!