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Lying on your driver license and tales of crafy men (and craftier women)

February 24, 2010

Lying on your driver license and tales of crafy men (and craftier women)

I'd like to tell you a story about two very distinct and separate things.

First, it's a story of how men get crafty.

Second, it's a story of how women get even craftier.

Digging in the closet the other day, Dan unearthed this framed gem from our office's pre-IKEA glory days:

IMG_0906 

See, we are savers of certain things. One of those things happens to be every single driver license we've ever been issued.

Several years ago, Dan gathered them all up, tore out a Plymouth Belvedere ad from an old Life magazine, and created the master work you see here.

It quietly adorned the wall of our then-shared office for a number of years until IKEA came to town and Mama said, "Let there be light colored veneer!"

Somehow, this little number didn't make the final cut for office acoutrements.

And now, I feel badly about it because you know what? It's pretty dang cool.

Let's take a closer look (and no worries for anyone who wants our address and numbers; the new Minnesota licenses sport a new design AND new numbers.)

We start with the oldies. My Washington state license, from high school:

IMG_0910 

What you're not seeing is a rust-colored new wave tail jutting out from the base of my skull. I think even the DMV photographers knew: "One day, people will laugh at tails. Let's crop in a bit."

Now let's look at Dan's earliest license:

IMG_0911 

So young. So sporty. And so dang skinny! 140 pounds, ladies. Aw yeah. Never met a skinny boy I didn't like. Moving on.

IMG_0913 

Enter my Texas era. By the lack of skin pigment, one could easily mistake this for an Antarctica license, but I assure you I was a legal resident of the greater DFW Metroplex. Wearing a Ramones t-shirt given to me by a horrible then-boyfriend, both my eyebrows and lips were clearly on overdrive.

IMG_0912 

Moving right along. This was Dan before we met. The only noticeable change? Better hair and 20 more pounds.

IMG_0914 

Ahhhh. There it is. My first Minnesota driver license. I look a tad cocky with my head slightly askew, as if to say, "I'm not afraid of your winters OR your long vowels!"

IMG_0915 

More Dan. A bit more serious and with taller bangs, and of course, the unmistakable air of being desperately in love with me.

IMG_0917 

And more me. Wow, Cath.…why so glum? Dan refers to this look as my Mark Rypien era. I think I was still adjusting to having a last name no one would ever pronounce correctly on the first and often second attempts.

IMG_0916 

And last but not least, we return to a much more mature, happy and devastatingly handsome Dan.

And that is all I have to share, lest you should see my current license, which is actually coming up for renewal next month, just prior to my 44th birthday. (March 8, for anyone who needs a little extra time to plan something special for me.)

Just wanted to share how some men—men like Dan—get crafty. They save and preserve driver licenses from glory driving days since past for all to admire and enjoy.

The way women get even craftier? The weight on our licenses reads "125."

Forever.

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Comments

  1. Kate says

    February 24, 2010 at 5:07 am

    great post! I have every year’s school bus passes which is kind of interesting as you see me change a lot, but when it gets to the year where I’m 175lb it stops being interesting and starts being depressing. Luckily a year later I was right back down to a normal weight.

    I think its strange that people look older in old photos. That last license you had up of you makes you look really, really much older than you look in your current pictures! (sorry!) Found some snaps of my Grandad in his 30s and he looked older than when he died at 85! I swear its the camera flash!! 🙂

    Cute post and it’s given me some food for thought about those bus passes!

    Reply
  2. Marin says

    February 24, 2010 at 5:09 am

    The real question is Cathy, why are you awake at this hour? 🙂 Love the hair and the post.

    Reply
  3. Jennifer Larson says

    February 24, 2010 at 5:59 am

    The second I saw the words “Crafty women” with regards to driver’s licenses, I knew what you were referring to. Mines is probably 30 pounds off where I am now, but like you, it’s where I’ll be. Good luck, and thanks as always for the laugh!

    Reply
  4. Tanya says

    February 24, 2010 at 6:16 am

    HAHA! I still have all of mine, except my Michigan one, because Massachusetts actually takes old licenses away from you and discards them. I wonder who the sucker was that had to make those MN licenses with the raised letters. I wasn’t old enough, when I lived in MN to have a DL with raised letters, man that would have been dandy though!

    Reply
  5. JoLynn says

    February 24, 2010 at 6:19 am

    Awwww yeah! He was a scrapbooker! Who knew? This is actually a cool idea. In Illinois, they do this odd thing… they cut out your photo and give it back to you, but they do not let you keep the rest of the license. Lately, they haven’t even been taking new pics… they just give you a sticker that says it was renewed. Highly disappointing, as my ten-year-old ‘do is wearing thin on me.

    Anyway, love the post! Thanks for sharing that. I have an altered Polaroid Scott did in college… you may have inspired me to post. At that time, I remember going, “YOU DREW ON A PICTURE!” I’ve come a long way.

    Reply
  6. Sherry Fagin says

    February 24, 2010 at 6:21 am

    so funny. i need to look up my old ones.

    Reply
  7. Kristen says

    February 24, 2010 at 6:41 am

    Wait… is Dan’s middle name Ezekiel? Pastor’s son indeed.

    Reply
  8. Karen says

    February 24, 2010 at 6:42 am

    LOL… mine says 125 or did for the longest time but I think I fessed up last renewal… added “many pounds because frankly when you reach a certain milestone it gives you many rights. Happy early BD, Cathy! No doubt, I will forget despite a reminder or two – so well wishes a a HUGE shout out to you now. Enjoy your day!

    Reply
  9. ~amy~ says

    February 24, 2010 at 7:08 am

    OMG…you crack me up…whatta duo you and your hubby are…gotta love a crafty man..

    Reply
  10. Stephanie Howell says

    February 24, 2010 at 7:11 am

    oh my gosh i LOVE this. LOVELOVELOVE.
    is that weird? (just kidding :0)
    what IS weird is that we both have the same weight immortalized on our licenses forever.
    later i shall tell you of my military ID i currently have (let’s just say it’s the worst photo EVER and i look like a granny with a fat neck).
    have a beauteous day! xoxo

    Reply
  11. cathy says

    February 24, 2010 at 7:30 am

    Oh you KNOW it.

    Reply
  12. Kiki Craig says

    February 24, 2010 at 7:53 am

    HA! We’ve kept all of ours too, I even have all our UMD college ids! Gotta love them. And, wow, what happened to the quality of the MN license over the years….we used to be able to use them as ice scrapers in a pinch.

    Reply
  13. Donna says

    February 24, 2010 at 8:16 am

    ok…so now after all these years of admiring your work, reading your books (over & over again) and viewing your blog…I take a good look at your name & realize I have most likely been one of those people butchering your name by pronouncing it Zi-les-ski. So how do you pronounce it???

    Reply
  14. Cynthia Friese-Hassanein says

    February 24, 2010 at 8:31 am

    Oh the old MN licenses:) they were so much better for scraping ice off your windshield:) then the new ones:) Love the project and the old ad. Too cool.
    The weight on licenses is a fun little challenge. Each time I need to renew, I creep it the weight down to a ridiculous low. I love seeing what I can get by with. They never flinch with how crazy the number is:)

    Reply
  15. Louise says

    February 24, 2010 at 8:45 am

    We have to give old licenses back in the UK, but I have all my old passports !! FRIGHTENING my first one was issued when I was 16 nearly 30 years ago, ouch !

    Why oh why do you need your weight on your driving license ?

    Reply
  16. Barb says

    February 24, 2010 at 8:51 am

    No wonder your kids are so awesome. Dan is every bit as amazing as you are. Wow. Just wow…

    Reply
  17. Maureen says

    February 24, 2010 at 9:31 am

    If ever anyone doubts that you and Dan are well matched, well there’s your proof.

    If ever questioned about the weight, just say …I had a big dinner last night.

    Reply
  18. cathy says

    February 24, 2010 at 9:44 am

    Zil-ski. Two syllables! LOL!

    Reply
  19. Kelli says

    February 24, 2010 at 9:54 am

    I love it, you should reframe it!

    Reply
  20. lynne moore says

    February 24, 2010 at 10:10 am

    ahhh, got to get my new liscense in March too. Been waiting “one more week” for a few now. Just found out if i wait one more week for real, I get the fully-loaded, brand-new, ugly-as-sin, gov’t approved liscense. Gonna get my hair cut for the occasion.

    Reply
  21. TracyBzz says

    February 24, 2010 at 10:14 am

    That’s really cool! We aren’t allowed to keep our old license here in Alberta.

    Reply
  22. TracyBzz says

    February 24, 2010 at 10:16 am

    We have to give back our passports and licenses here in Alberta. (not that my passport has expired yet). They’ve never asked me if my weight has changed. Yeah!

    Reply
  23. Beth Ann says

    February 24, 2010 at 10:40 am

    As soon as I saw “Lying on your driver’s license” I KNEW what you were gonna say. Mine is currently a tad (ha ha) bit off too and is up for renewal in August. I am proud to say I am 12.6 pounds closer to it than I was 6 weeks ago. Here’s to bringing back the truth and not having to tell the person at the DMV that they will need to up your weight. At least they have the decency to never specifically ask if it’s correct!

    Reply
  24. Jaana says

    February 24, 2010 at 10:57 am

    Great post! My license is up for renewal next month, too (March 16!) and we’re not allowed to keep our old license here. I don’t want to part with it – the photo is the best picture of me, ever. Sad but true.

    Reply
  25. Donna Tullis says

    February 24, 2010 at 11:06 am

    you just make me laugh…since the first time i saw a layout of yours in some magazine i was reading a LONG time ago…of course i had to squint and twist for the best light to make out the jounaling, but after reading it and snickering at your rascally self, i was hooked…that is the coolist thing and even better that yall have kept it…definitely a keeper!

    Reply
  26. Diana says

    February 24, 2010 at 11:20 am

    I LOVE this post (and the photos) Cathy! The earlier pictures – it’s like looking at Aidan and Cole today! And I too am quite the craftiest when it comes to my weight – mine was due for renewal last month and still haven’t gotten into to DMV yet for that dreaded new pic which will definitely, once again, not match the weight! Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
  27. Marcie L says

    February 24, 2010 at 11:23 am

    That is awesome!!!!! Would love to have my hands on my old license’s…and my husband’s. I vote it goes back up in the office!

    Reply
  28. Joy M. says

    February 24, 2010 at 11:47 am

    LOL, this may be creative, not crafty, but when DH and I were dating, I went with him to fill out the application to have his passport renewed. When he wrote “sandy” down for his hair color, I about choked. “Sandy?” I asked. So he asked,”What color would YOU call it?” “Um, gray. Maybe salt and pepper but that’s probably not an option.” So I guess we all fall prey to being creative when it comes to vanity. I wish I had kept all of my licenses…..

    Reply
  29. tara says

    February 24, 2010 at 12:34 pm

    This was a fun, fun read my dear! Smiling from start to finish.

    Reply
  30. Rachel says

    February 24, 2010 at 12:55 pm

    Love it! My first driver’s license said “105 lbs.” When I renewed it on my 21st b-day the guy at the DMV asked whether any of my info had changed and I said “Just the weight. It’s more like 130.” When he handed over my new license it read “129.”
    I should have married that man.
    Now my license says “150” and still is at least 10 lbs. wrong! 🙂

    Reply
  31. Barb says

    February 24, 2010 at 1:10 pm

    Two things….3/8 is my son’s birthday…a good day! And two, when asked at the license bureau if everything is correct, I reply “Yes,” because I still WANT to weigh that amount.

    Reply
  32. debganzel@hotmail.com says

    February 24, 2010 at 1:57 pm

    Lets hope they don’t give tickets for fibbing about your weight on your dl! If so I would be getting a huge fine!

    Reply
  33. Katrina of Southern California says

    February 24, 2010 at 2:36 pm

    SO funny! Last night I found a group of my old license’s. Was just thinking about doing a layout and checked your blog. DODODODODO…….Thanks for the inspiration!

    Reply
  34. amanda gibson says

    February 24, 2010 at 3:01 pm

    Yay for Crafty Men!

    My driver’s license will also forever say 125 pounds. And blonde hair. And blue eyes. Occasionally I’m blonde – but I’ve never had blue eyes. I think maybe when I was in high school I really wished I were blonde haired and blue eyed (and big busted, but that’s another story for another day. Why can’t I say “blonde haired and blue eyed” without adding the big busted part on the end?). Anyway, since I’ve never moved out of state they just keep letting me be blue eyed. Go Idaho DMV!

    Reply
  35. Tracy says

    February 24, 2010 at 3:37 pm

    This is toooo funny – leave it to a man to come up with this one!

    Reply
  36. Jesa says

    February 24, 2010 at 4:39 pm

    Nice collection but the best part is the weight!!

    Reply
  37. Izzy says

    February 24, 2010 at 5:29 pm

    Hmmmm, Dan should consider growing his hair out again. Hot. 😉

    Great craft project.

    Reply
  38. hchybinski says

    February 24, 2010 at 5:38 pm

    LOL – my husband thinks I am crazy – I have every license I’ve ever been issued too. . .perhaps a blog post about that tomorrow. . .when the light for photos is better. . .

    Hillary

    Reply
  39. ~M~ says

    February 24, 2010 at 5:58 pm

    What a fabulous piece of history and so creative. I really wish I coul dhave saved my licenses and I really tried. But in Chicago if you turn in your old license you go directly to the head of the line when renewing. if you don’t, it’s sometimes up to a 3 hr wait, standing in line the whole time. So I’ve had to give up any I got when living in a city. Which is too bad bc I take some FINE license pictures!

    Reply
  40. Betheroo says

    February 24, 2010 at 5:59 pm

    Amen sister! 125 forever!

    Reply
  41. Amanda says

    February 24, 2010 at 6:13 pm

    way cool craft project… maybe you could preserve it in a shadow box?

    Reply
  42. Kari D. says

    February 24, 2010 at 6:53 pm

    I have all of my old licenses too! I thought it was really cool until I saw an episode of Clean House where some guy had held on to all of his and the host of the show told him he was holding on to worthless stuff and he threw them away! I suddenly thought I was weird for saving them. Then I realized that clearly Neecy Nash (or whoever the host of that show is) is NOT a scrapper and that she’s just plain weird for making this guy toss them! I’ve kept my licenses, but I don’t really watch Clean House anymore. (I really just don’t get that channel anymore, but now I’m standing by this story as the excuse.) BTW, my license has always said 135…close enough right? Thanks for the inspiration!

    Reply
  43. Adrienne says

    February 24, 2010 at 7:28 pm

    Looks like there is more than one scrapper in the Zieski household! What a cool idea.

    Reply
  44. scrapper al says

    February 24, 2010 at 7:59 pm

    I love that 125 is a univeral number, no matter what the height is.

    Reply
  45. Gilesnews.wordpress.com says

    February 24, 2010 at 9:21 pm

    You have to have your weight on your driving licence? :-0 There are few times when I have been more thankful to be British. 😉

    Reply
  46. tirzah says

    February 24, 2010 at 11:20 pm

    saw that comin’…true that!

    Reply
  47. ty powell says

    February 25, 2010 at 12:01 am

    You guys are the coolest. Love your blog-it always makes me laugh.

    Reply
  48. Melissa says

    February 25, 2010 at 12:08 am

    Why are the corners cut off some of them? Or is that a design element? I frankly love the car ad in the background. Very cool.

    Reply
  49. Marina, somewhere downunder says

    February 25, 2010 at 12:47 am

    You have to put your weight on your licence!! Boy am I glad I don’t live in the US!

    Reply
  50. Kiki Craig says

    February 25, 2010 at 7:54 am

    Ask to see your photo when they take it…seriously, I almost always take mine twice.

    Reply
  51. kp says

    February 25, 2010 at 9:11 am

    LOVED this post. And I am so happy to see that other people save seemingly silly bits of their past. And I must admit, that once I hit 40 I did add 5 extra pounds to my DL (which is still not even close…)

    Reply
  52. cathy says

    February 25, 2010 at 9:28 am

    Sandy? I love it. That’s the word I am going to use!

    Reply
  53. cathy says

    February 25, 2010 at 9:28 am

    Good stuff, no?

    Reply
  54. cathy says

    February 25, 2010 at 9:28 am

    Okay THAT is the best DMV employee EVER. Love that.

    Reply
  55. cathy says

    February 25, 2010 at 9:29 am

    That’s a good idea!

    Reply
  56. cathy says

    February 25, 2010 at 9:29 am

    Lucky! ; )

    Reply
  57. Lauren says

    February 25, 2010 at 11:41 am

    This is EXCELLENT! And the fact that your HUSBAND made it? AWESOME!!!

    You’re not the only one who keeps drivers licenses. I made this for Ali’s Yesterday and Today class. The title was inspried by your blog: http://www.flickr.com/photos/18572605@N02/4219814923/

    Reply
  58. kim strother says

    February 25, 2010 at 2:55 pm

    Love this post. I just found all my old licenses and now I’m ging to make a page with them. With the weight blacked out of course…hehe!!

    Reply
  59. Marian says

    February 25, 2010 at 4:34 pm

    Hi Cathy,

    I had to “weigh” in on this post (pun intended!) My license expires next Wednesday, 3/3, when I will turn 47. This is the first time I will have had to go into the DMV and get a new pic/license in 13 years! At the time of my current license 13 years ago I did indeed weigh 125. Since that time, and 3 children later, my weight has fluctuated as much as 65 pounds (!) over 125 (if you know what I mean). Now, 2 years after setting weight loss goals for myself, I weight about 132 pounds. As for my new license, it will continue to say 125, of course. . .allow me my fantasy, I say! Thanks for the great blog!

    Marian

    Reply
  60. Corie in Indy says

    February 25, 2010 at 9:16 pm

    This post cracks me up! Love your blog, Cathy. And I LOVE that you save your licenses. That’s so something I would do (if the Indiana BMV didn’t confiscate our old licenses at renewal time. And yes, I’ve thought about lying and saying I lost it, but there’s a big fee for that). :o)

    Reply
  61. Jo says

    February 26, 2010 at 2:48 am

    So hilarious, yet so TRUE! Love this post. You have me cracking up over here at work in the wee hours of the night and I THANK YOU. 🙂

    As for the 125lbs thing… I tried to be honest a couple years ago and add a few pounds. The lady told me NO and kept it at 125! *lol* I’ll love her forever. 🙂

    Reply
  62. Jana D says

    February 26, 2010 at 6:27 am

    Dan is so cool. You should move to VA. You’d get another license for your collection AND they don’t put your weight on it. Which is a really good thing.

    Reply
  63. Misty says

    February 26, 2010 at 8:56 am

    Ahhhh, makes me want to get out my licenses and make a page, but I only have 3. :o(

    Reply
  64. Veronica Hugger says

    February 26, 2010 at 11:32 am

    Tell Dan I’m CASEing his background idea, but I’ll scope out an MG ad, since that was my first car.

    Reply
  65. Amanda says

    February 26, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    My husband is the funniest person I know. You are the funniest person I don’t know!

    Reply
  66. Valerie says

    March 2, 2010 at 6:21 am

    What a great post and I love the license creation. Outstanding!

    Reply
  67. Rachel says

    June 14, 2010 at 5:45 am

    Oh my gosh! I keep mine at 125 too! And I will never, never change that!

    Reply

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