I've made no secret of it lo these past 11 months: I want to be a loser.
December marks the beginning of the 12th month that I've been living in Move More, Eat Less mode. 12 months. Just like that.
And this month finds me on a much needed return to following the Weight Watchers plan. If you recall, two months ago, I blogged about going off the plan and trying another online calorie counting website, MyFoodDiary.com, mostly to shake things up and see if I could be successful with a slightly different approach. And the resulting answer? Not so much.
Turns out that counting calories compared to counting points doesn't really measure up evenly, and especially not when you're trying to cram roughly 600 calories worth of muffins or cookies into your daily allotment that apparently says, "No problem. Eat 'em up, Sister!" I was milking the system for as much sugar as I could get my hands on.
So it's Hello Weight Watchers once again.
As many of you have heard by now, Weight Watchers has overhauled their Points system for the first time in over a decade, recently introducing the new Points Plus system. This is as new to me as anyone so I feel like I'm in test mode for the month. Can I lose weight and eat all the points-free fruit I want? Time will tell.
Let's be honest here: some days, Cuties vs. Banana Sex Muffins seems like some really heartless joke. It's very easy to delude myself into thinking I can bake twice a week and maintain a healthy attitude towards sugar.
But the reality is that I can't.
It's like those few times I tried to quit smoking in the 90s, and I'd make these ridiculously transparent rules. Rules like: I'll only smoke when I'm drinking wine, or, I'll only smoke after 5 p.m., or, I'll only smoke when the sun is on the other side of the Earth, and so on and so forth. Every path eventually led to complete immersion. I have an enormously difficult time moderating my addictions.
It's the same with sugar. I try to convince myself that baking for my family is a way to show them I love them, but it's mostly a chance for mama to get a big time bump.
Case in point: last Saturday, I went out with my sisters-in-law for our annual holiday shopping outing known in St. Paul as the Grand Meander. We had a lovely lunch at our favorite bar, The Wild Onion, where we shared onion rings, sliders, lettuce wraps, and chased it all down with a nice round of Bloody Marys (mine was a virgin mind you, I just like the spicy tomato juice and the fixin's, the vodka, not so much.) And all was well and good until I kept noticing every store was offering tasty cookies, and I kept noticing I couldn't resist them. Then I got home and promptly at 4 muffins and a two tall glasses of orange juice. The sugar was literally coursing through my veins and I felt like I was high, minus the paranoia.
Then the crash hit. After about an hour, I felt like complete kaka du jour. My solution to feel better? Eat two more muffins. Then fall asleep.
This is not how I want to live my life.
So for now, it's More Broccoli Please!
Beginning today I'm re-dedicating myself to another year of Moving More and Eating Less. I've proven that I know what it takes and I'm not willing to get cocky or careless with it. Stay tuned for more info on how you can join me in 2011.
For now, my last official Tales from the Scale layout of 2010:
(click on the layout to see it larger in a new window)
Want to join in? Or document your journey? Or whine along? Or celebrate successes? Both the template above and this one are available at Designer Digitals for those who want to track their progress along with me. There's a Flickr Group as well, to share your pages with others making similar changes.
To read more on my journey of Eating Less and Moving More, all posts on fitness related issues can be found here.