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What a girl wants.

March 28, 2011

What a girl wants.

Want

Blue Raspberry Icee in still life, just prior to ingestion.

March has been a weird one, food wise.

Let's forget about Meatless March for a minute (though I'll be honest with you, I find myself watching the calendar and dreaming about Lighter Beef Chili with an alarming frequency). I'd like to talk about something that happens every now and then in my nutrional world: I go extremely overboard and eat like total crap.

In some circles, it's called bingeing. You decide to have one bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios, and that bowl was so good, that what the hell! You have two more. Or three. Okay, four.

And then you figure, "Well, I blew the points for this day," and you head out to your friendly Super America store for a blue raspberry Icee, and quite possibly a glazed donut to chase it down.

And then you get home, and you suddenly feel very, very sleepy as the sugar starts to move through your system, and you wonder, "What was that all about?"

It's those times when you try and eat everything in sight to make up for all this damned healthy living you've been taking part in. It's those times when the sugar just sort of takes over. It's those times wherein you convince yourself, "I don't care."

This month has been full of those days. It's also seen me eating out more than I have in months—4 times, to be exact. My problem is that I have yet to master going to a restaurant and ordering the "light" menu items.

A wise person that I know told me, "Cathy, sounds like you're eating your feelings." And perhaps she's right.

All I know is that I've made some really bad choices, and gained some more weight back.

But here is the difference this month: I'm not beating myself up over it.

In the past, any slip on my part was met with fear and self-loathing. Oh God, this is IT! It's all downhill from here. Way to *blank* it up again, Cathy! I always hoped to use that self-loathing as motivation to do better. It rarely worked.

But this time, I'm looking at it from an instructive standpoint, and trying to understand what is it that makes me go overboard on certain days? What are my triggers? And how can I better respond to the things that make me want to nosh like there's no tomorrow?

I said on my birthday that I'm not going to spend the next half of my life hating my body and longing for things that genetically aren't mine to have. I said I was going to be kinder to myself, and guess what? I meant it.

I realize this isn't my official Move More Eat Less check in, that comes a week from today, but I just wanted to say that sometimes—in fact most of the time—the best of intentions are met with obstacles that in the moment seem insurmountable. But you know what? You take a deep breath, gather yourself up and keep moving through Ye Olde Obstacle Course of life and see what shakes out.

Besides, on any given day, being alive is enough to keep me going.

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Comments

  1. Val says

    March 28, 2011 at 5:06 am

    Weight, binge eating, self loathing have made up more than a huge part of my life. I know I eat to suppress feelings, I eat then I hate myself afterwards. Even at 55 Ia m still struggling… Now I am trying very hard not to beat myself up but it is difficult in a world where looks is everything. I am taking it one day at a time but it is a constant battle…. 🙁

    Reply
  2. Joanna says

    March 28, 2011 at 5:35 am

    Amen.

    Reply
  3. madeline St onge says

    March 28, 2011 at 5:37 am

    Guess there are a lot of us who have been there done that Cathy. It makes me feel good knowing I an not the only one out there. Hang tough, you are a healthier person than you were last year at this time.

    Reply
  4. Katya says

    March 28, 2011 at 5:46 am

    Interesting! well done you, and inspires me!

    Reply
  5. Lynn says

    March 28, 2011 at 6:01 am

    That’s me to a T! I fall into this trap frequently. However,whilst I know I will never change. (I so wish I could, but I believe this is just part of who I am) The wake-up call kicks in a lot quicker than it used to, so to avoid too much damage. I’m just trying to eat healthier now, and shifted the focus away from loosing the weight. If I eat right most of the time, then I should avoid putting on too much excess weight. Hell, I may even loose a few pounds! I’m finished with stressing about dieting, now I try and make the best of what I have. (which in honesty, could be better, but also far worse)

    Reply
  6. Kendra B says

    March 28, 2011 at 6:25 am

    I have yet to master the be kind to myself way of thinking so good for you!! Way to inspire once again!! 🙂

    Reply
  7. Jan B says

    March 28, 2011 at 6:27 am

    Well, Cathy, you’re not alone. I’ve been craving the junk lately. Only my poison of choice this weekend was Goldfish and chocolate cupcakes. This always happens to me after “doing well” for a long time. I think I have perfectionistic tendencies and when I eat something “less than perfect”, I guess in my head I realize the bubble has been burst and I start wanting all the crap food. The thing is, I really love eating healthy – I love all the “good” stuff. Somehow, though, I must be feeling denied and so the cravings start.

    Maybe I just need to accept this as the ebb and flow of how it goes. Every week that I start with that “perfect” expectation is bound to set me up for “failure”. If I take the emphasis off of eating perfectly, maybe I would also take the power away from the failure.

    The most frustrating thing is that several days of “eating well” yields very little weight loss (if any), yet several days of eating crap results in instant gain. Sigh.

    Well, thanks, Dr. Z, for allowing me to self-analyze. It’s a new day, a new week. I’m gonna go enjoy my imperfect self. Have a good one!

    Reply
  8. Maureen says

    March 28, 2011 at 6:34 am

    love following your journey, bit of advice on eating out – what works best for me is to eat lots of low point free stuff the day of and after, it sort of balances it out.

    Reply
  9. katie squires says

    March 28, 2011 at 6:34 am

    Sounds hauntingly familiar, when this happens to me now, and the old anxiety and self loathing creeps in, and I am tempted to panic I remind me self that this is the new me. The old me didn’t exercise and was a couch potato. The new me will be out sweating tomorrow morning and I WILL BE OK. Your such a different and healthy person now, and little set backs like this won’t derail you. You will learn from them and little by little do better. Plus, everyone needs a little blue raspberry icee 🙂

    Reply
  10. Jennifer Larson says

    March 28, 2011 at 6:37 am

    I’m with you–yesterday I had too many potato chips. Hopefully the indigestion will cure me of that. Plus going swimming today.

    Reply
  11. Mary says

    March 28, 2011 at 6:37 am

    I came to your blog this morning, after having a terrible eating weekend looking for some inspiration and motivation. I think I may have found something better. Comfort in knowing that I am not alone, acceptance in knowing that I can and should be happy with the me I am, and strength in knowing that today is another day and another chance to change what I can. thanks for putting it all out there and not sugar coating it. It’s nice to hear it from a “real” person’s perspective. Thank you.

    Reply
  12. Steph says

    March 28, 2011 at 6:51 am

    Yep, this is exactly me! But the timing of this post is freaky. Because just last week, I went through exactly what you did and decided to make lists of two different thing: Bad Things and Good Things. Bad Things are basically all my triggers (running out of salad fixings, going out to eat, skipping a run, etc…) and Good Things are all the habits that keep me on a steady course (keeping chocolate out of the house, saying no to girls’ night out, running 4x/week, etc…). And it totally worked! I am down 3 pounds this week after 2 weeks with small gains. Avoiding that first trigger seems to be the key for me. Because just like you said, one thing leads to another and I give up completely.

    The thing is that as long as you’re learning from habits and behavior, it’s all good. 🙂

    Reply
  13. Laura says

    March 28, 2011 at 6:56 am

    Oh I can totally relate to this post! This was me Friday afternoon – after my nap from scarfing up everything sugar related in the house, mind you. Thanks for reminding me that I’m human and we all have days like this. Today’s a new day…. got to keep reminding myself of that statement!

    Reply
  14. Dar says

    March 28, 2011 at 7:04 am

    You cannot know how great your timing was with this post. I just had that kind of week-end, where I could not stop the snacking on junk, and the scales were mocking me this morning, daring me to not be discouraged. Well, I wrote out my feelings, came up with two strategies for the next time I have a snack-attack, and then found your post this morning. Pure encouragement. Excuse me now, while I change clothes and head for the treadmill. (I’ll be praying for you this week, and for everyone who posts here, that we will not lose hope, and that we’ll continue to make good choices.)

    Reply
  15. ElisabethB says

    March 28, 2011 at 7:14 am

    Been there, done it. You just put it in better words than I could. I am with you. Hang in there, girl

    Reply
  16. Kathleen S. says

    March 28, 2011 at 7:31 am

    Now that’s progress! Keep the goal, drop the load.

    Reply
  17. cathy says

    March 28, 2011 at 7:47 am

    Val, Im so sorry to hear this. I am so amazed at how many amazing women share these feelings. Looks seem to be everything, true, but Im starting to really understand at this later age in my own journey that it really is WHO you are. I know what its like to beat myself up, to despise what I see in the mirror, and so on. Im not saying it will be easy for me to change this thinking, but I feel like I cant lose more of my precious one and only life to this. I have to try and be kinder. I wish you the same. I really, really do.

    Reply
  18. cathy says

    March 28, 2011 at 7:48 am

    Kendra, Im learning this too, as I go. : )

    Reply
  19. cathy says

    March 28, 2011 at 7:49 am

    Jan, I had to smile. Goldfish were part of my downfall last week too. What the heck IS it with Goldfish. Im like you in the black and white department of perfection. Im learning that it isnt really the best way to live. That some grays are okay in life. Wishing you a great day and thanks for the comment!

    Reply
  20. cathy says

    March 28, 2011 at 7:49 am

    Good tip! I never think of the day after. I always think, Oh well, there goes the whole week!

    Reply
  21. cathy says

    March 28, 2011 at 7:51 am

    So glad you feel this way. : ) Im trying not to sugar coat things. I mean, I hesitated using the word binge and Im not sure why. Maybe because that is exactly what I do at times, and its embarrassing in a way. I really dont have it all figured out, thats for sure, but I think for some reason right now in my life I am in a place where I can really look at things and start beginning to understand the whys, and maybe even move onto a better mental space where all of this is concerned.

    Reply
  22. cathy says

    March 28, 2011 at 7:53 am

    Yep. I am going to be making some lists this week. For sure. : ) Im back on track since Saturday. Two days of solid healthful eating under the belt. Looking forward to the week.

    Reply
  23. cathy says

    March 28, 2011 at 7:54 am

    Dar, it was meant to be. Thanks for your sweet thoughts, too. : ) Have a GREAT week!

    Reply
  24. dawn says

    March 28, 2011 at 7:55 am

    I was thinking of you yesterday Cathy for two reasons but first your post today. Thank you for laying it out there and being real about it and how we all feel bad some of the days. I’m so happy that your not beating yourself up over it, you deserve a few days off from being perfect. It is stressful and boring sometimes to watch every little piece of food we eat. I liked your last sentence, that sums it up right there.

    Ok, was glad to see today’s post is about food since that’s why I was thinking of you yesterday. I finally came to realize that the weekends are the worse for me eating wise, the kids are home, we are running around, my schedule is totally off because of everyone being home, my hubby is home and does the cooking for us on weekends which is great. Ok so my problem is that weekends are even harder to eat healthy, so wondered if you have this promblem too with your family being home.Granted it’s only two days but in those two days I totally ruin my eating habits. So do you have this promblem and if so what do you do about it?
    My next question was about the Jamie Oliver new season starting up again on April 12, did you know about it? I just found out this weekend and am excited to see it again. This time his focus will be on planting gardens to help show you how to grow your own fresh food for a healthy diet. Just thought you’d be interested in knowing about his new season.
    Ok my other question/questions is about eating meatless this month, I didn’t even do it, wanted to but didn’t make it happen. Anyhow was wondering if you saved money at the grocery store since you werent’ buying any meat? Also do you plan your menus each week in advance? Last question, could you share at least 2 of your favorite meatless meals with me/us something kinda basic nothing fancy that would be easy for me to make and hoping kids will like?
    Thanks so much and sorry about the overload but you were on my mind yesterday and thinking of all these to ask you. I’d appreciate any help/advise you could give me. Oh and also the weekend eating bad thing I’m worried about when my kids are home again for the summer and what will happen to my healthy eating when out playing all day. Thanks again Cathy for sharing your journey and always inspiring me.

    Reply
  25. cathy says

    March 28, 2011 at 7:57 am

    Katie, i forgot to mention the exercise. I mean, YES! I have that now. I am going to sweat in about an hour from now. I may only be running 11 or 12 minute miles, but holy crap, I am RUNNING! I do agree too, a blue icee is a pretty amazing treat every now and then. I dont want to live in a black and white world anymore. : ) I just have to be really careful that one doesnt turn into 8. : )

    Reply
  26. cathy says

    March 28, 2011 at 8:08 am

    Hey Dawn, Ill do my best to answer!

    Weekends arent the problem for me. I do all the cooking, so I really do control that aspect of my life. For example, last night I made Jamie Olivers Thai Green Curry (YUM!) of course the kids didnt eat it, so they had sandwiches. No big deal.

    My hardest time is every day around 4. I just want to start snacking. On Goldfish. Or cereal. But Im working through that this week, getting back on track.

    I am SO excited for Jamies new season. I love him, and thats why i pulled his Food Revolution cookbook out this weekend. His stuff isnt always low fat, but i like his recipes.

    I really didnt save any money by not eating meat, but I think thats also because I have been buying a lot more organic fruits and veggies. I spend a lot on groceries because of that. I end up making 3 trips or more a week just to replenish our fruit supply. But I do plan my meals, usually the day before. : )

    One of my favorite meatless meals is found on this like:
    https://www.cathyzielske.com/2009/07/recipes-from-yesterday.html

    You replace chicken with tofu, and when you pan fry the tofu, you add a little of the dressing in after its browned up a bit to glaze the tofu and give it flavor. Its a VERY simply recipe and very tasty.

    I dont think im going to stay 100% meatless after march, but… I certain have loved focusing on new ideas for cooking!

    Reply
  27. dawn says

    March 28, 2011 at 8:26 am

    Cathy, thanks so much for answering all my questions. It was helpful and yummy and fun to read. I figured you’d say the grocery store amount would be the same if you probably bought more veggies/fruits. I’ve been doing that too even though the prices are killing me but I just keep reminding myself it’s good for me and the family. I can’t remember if you’ve mentioned if you’d like to have a garden or maybe just herbs to add to your dishes. We do have a garden each year, it’s my husband’s passion. This year we are adding more veggies that I like so it will be fun to cook with these. Thanks again for your help. I’m sorry about the 4 oclock snacking for you, for some reason I’m not a snacker just like my meals and sit down dinners.

    Reply
  28. Melanie says

    March 28, 2011 at 8:29 am

    Hi Cathy!

    Just an observation from a life long vegetarian who understands you carnivores trying to cut the meat – are you sure you’re exchanging enough vegetarian protein for the meat protein you usually consume? I’d recommend starting your day with protein, so you feel fuller right off the bat and your body has something significant to digest right away. I know you probably know this already. My favourite WW points plus breakfast with protein is 3/4 cup egg whites (I assume eggs don’t count as meat?), 30 g of light cheese grated, mushrooms and red pepper fried in 1 tsp of oil. Throw in some dill and pepper. It’s 4 points, feels like a lot of food, and gives you that good start to the day.

    Reply
  29. Beth Holmes says

    March 28, 2011 at 8:54 am

    Another great post Cathy. Thank you so much for being so honest — it’s great to know that I am not alone in my struggle with bingeing and beating myself up. Thanks to the comments I see there are a lot of us. So, I am going to confess that I ate an entire gallon of Maple Walnut Ice cream this week on one day in two sittings. I don’t know why — because no one was home, I was bored, I was tired all week? For a change though instead of blowing off the rest of the week and not counting points, I actually counted the points for the ice cream! Really — it was scary, but it did help me put it in perspective. I am way over my points for this week, but I tracked and I do think the tracking kept me from getting totally out of control!
    Best wishes! your “realness” and honestly inspire me!

    Reply
  30. Kay Gregory-Clark says

    March 28, 2011 at 8:58 am

    Gosh, Cathy, you’ve just described my recent days! I had the munchies so often and tried not to give in, but same thing as you—about 4 o’clock I’m walking around talking to myself, trying to find something that won’t be TOO Awful to put in my mouth. Lately I’ve really been craving peanut butter. What’s with that? I am realizing a lot of my problem has to do with the weather—dark, cold, gray days put me into a funk. I’m a fair weather walker, so don’t like to go out when the wind is howling 50 mph (and more, here), it’s snowing or raining, and I’m sloshing through the mud. Unfortunately, this week we won’t see sun until Friday, or even decent temps. I think I’ll go back to bed until then (shall I take my Wasa crackers and PB with me?)…..See ya Friday!

    Reply
  31. Kay Gregory-Clark says

    March 28, 2011 at 9:02 am

    P.S. I wanted to let you and other readers about a neat site I found this week:

    http://www.loseit.com/

    I’m counting calories and this tracks them, along with nutrition values you plug in. Sometimes it seems a lot of work, but it does open my eyes and keep me honest (well, most of the time!). It will also send you a daily synopsis and reminder.

    Reply
  32. Elizabeth J. says

    March 28, 2011 at 9:25 am

    I want you to know that yesterday I ate a whole bag of Jordan Almonds (I’ll probably never be able to look at another Jordan Almond!) Now I know I’m not the only one who does things like that. Somehow that is comforting to me. Thanks for all the help you’ve given me in the past. This latest advice is one of the best I’ve received from you.

    Reply
  33. Mechiel says

    March 28, 2011 at 9:38 am

    Cathy a doctor recently shared that a four o’clock craving is an indicator of a protein deficiency. He suggested having some grilled chicken or beef precooked and sliced to grab when that junk food craving hits. He says that if you will make yourself eat a palm sized portion of protein, you can then eat whatever you want but more than likely you won’t as your body will be satiated. For meatless march, you might try a 4 o’clock protein shake. Chocolate would be my choice!!

    Reply
  34. cathy says

    March 28, 2011 at 9:44 am

    No garden yet. Hoping to have a better one this year!

    Reply
  35. cathy says

    March 28, 2011 at 9:45 am

    I wondered about this too. I mean, i start my day off with bran flakes and milk. But at lunch, I have hummus with my veggies. I should do some egg whites at breaky!

    Reply
  36. cathy says

    March 28, 2011 at 9:47 am

    Or maybe a greek yogurt? I know that has lots of protein. Maybe i will try that today. : )

    Reply
  37. cathy says

    March 28, 2011 at 9:51 am

    Beth, I have been there, but mine was this gelatto stuff that is to DIE for. Sigh. Im not sure what it is either. Like I said, a woman who gives me advice a lot said its the whole eating your feelings thing. I dont know. I just need to get a handle on it, and try to understand it. I wish you a great week of healthy food!

    Reply
  38. cathy says

    March 28, 2011 at 9:52 am

    I have this little app! and, i bought their book a few weeks back, but… I havent quite looked into it!

    Reply
  39. Tammy says

    March 28, 2011 at 9:55 am

    Have you ever tried incorporating a “free day” into your life-eating cycle? I know they have a “free day” once each week for those that do the Body for Life program. I struggle with the “binge” eating myself and then I feel horrible about myself, which inevitably leads to more binge eating to make myself feel better and the crazy cycle begins. I am currently in the “losing” phase of my life-eating cycle, but when I move over to the maintenance phase, I will be figuring out how to incorporate a “free day” into things every once in a while – not sure how often, but I think it will help with the overall balance of things.

    Reply
  40. Kris says

    March 28, 2011 at 10:02 am

    I swear it is the weather! We are all hanging on waiting for spring to finally arrive so we can be outside more; getting more exercise and feeling more inspired to eat healthy foods.

    Reply
  41. Robyn says

    March 28, 2011 at 10:29 am

    Cathy – as always thank you for being “real” and putting it all out there. I have to admit that March has been much the same for me (althoug with meat) – and I am trying to figure out why as well. I have tried very hard to get on the don’t beat myself up bandwagon, and I’m doing OK – but I keep putting off the regaining control.

    I have thought long and hard about it and my down fall started with snow fall – AGAIN – I couldn’t handle the snow last week – I just couldn’t face it – didn’t want it….then other things happen and here we are….staring at a gain that shouldn’t be.

    Hang in there and keep moving more…..that is the best medicine. Now to take some myself.

    Reply
  42. susan kopp says

    March 28, 2011 at 10:43 am

    As my leader inspired me a couple of weeks ago with a statement she made I have managed to have my cake and eat it too (so to speak). Her approach is an 80-20 plan. Eat 80% of the time on target and within the daily points given…..then 20% of the time eat what you want and take from the weekly points. I tell you it was a LIGHTBULB moment! The last 2 weeks have been my most successful in that I have not felt in the least deprived but yet I could really enjoy the ice cream I allowed myself to have 2 times last week. I paired a measly 1/2 cup vanilla ice cream with 1 1/2 cups sliced strawberries and suddenly I had a decadent dessert and I still lost weight. And lest you think me a newbie to this plan…………I joined about 4 versions ago. This is not easy and I don’t plan to quit this time. Hang in there.

    Reply
  43. Lisa Damrosch says

    March 28, 2011 at 10:47 am

    Oh Cathy-

    SO with you…in every way (again). I just went back to WW last week after a little break, and found myself eating out 3 times this week!!!! Plus having a few too many goldfish etc. BUT, when I went back to WW I decided I had to try to do an old thing in a new way. I have been very conscious to make a new “intention” which was more about learning…and “teaching” my body what works and what doesn’t and not so much about the numbers. I’ve promised myself that a “student” of just about anything wouldn’t be beat up or shamed for needing a little time to figure it all out, so I shouldn’t be either. So far so good….but it is a freaking mind trip.

    Reply
  44. Linda says

    March 28, 2011 at 10:49 am

    Hey Cathy,
    You may have those four o’clock cravings because you haven’t gotten enough protein in the AM and lunch. A nutritionist also once told me no sweets before noon (except fruits, a little sugar in coffee- just no Starbucks pastries, etc) and when I remember that rule, I don’t tend to get my afternoon cravings.
    Your honesty always sparks such great comments.

    Reply
  45. Sue in Grapevine says

    March 28, 2011 at 10:52 am

    I, too, suffer from that afternoon snack attack & have been turning to oatmeal. I do 1/2 cup of old fashioned oats (a Power Food & since I do WW “Simply Filling”, I don’t count pts. for it) in the microwave & add 1TBS of real maple syrup (only 1 WW pt.) — it’s warm & sweet & sticks w/me because of the oats.

    Reply
  46. ale says

    March 28, 2011 at 11:07 am

    i absolutely love today’s post, cathy. i’ve just added to my faves folder. i think most of us have to remember to be kinder to ourselves.

    Reply
  47. dawn says

    March 28, 2011 at 11:16 am

    good luck Cathy!!

    Reply
  48. lisa says

    March 28, 2011 at 11:46 am

    good post, cathy! i tracked what i ate for 2 weeks and then i had a nutritionist analyze it. i found that i wasn’t eating enough protein. once i upp’ed my protein intake (esp. for breakfast), i stopped craving sweets/sugar. do you think you are eating enough protein? good luck!

    Reply
  49. karen says

    March 28, 2011 at 12:13 pm

    taking calcium makes my cravings for sweet way way less. for what it is worth

    Reply
  50. cathy says

    March 28, 2011 at 1:02 pm

    I really havent ever done that, but Im curious about Body for Life. But, this might fall into being less black and white on all of it, you know? I need some more grey in my life.

    Reply
  51. cathy says

    March 28, 2011 at 1:02 pm

    Maybe weather is part of it. I found last weeks snow to be demoralizing. Seriously. Snow? I usually am not affected, but i think because damn it, i want it gone so i can run in the sunshine, you know?

    Reply
  52. cathy says

    March 28, 2011 at 1:03 pm

    I like that idea. A lot.

    Reply
  53. cathy says

    March 28, 2011 at 1:04 pm

    Love that mindset. Im really working on this too. Learning, rather than obsessing about numbers. : )

    Reply
  54. cathy says

    March 28, 2011 at 1:05 pm

    I love reading the comments because so many women have different approaches to this whole subject. Plus, I get great tips from readers who have all levels of understanding. I love that.

    Reply
  55. cathy says

    March 28, 2011 at 1:05 pm

    That sounds good. You mix the oats with water? yes?

    Reply
  56. cathy says

    March 28, 2011 at 1:06 pm

    I dont think that I am. Going to see about changing that.

    Reply
  57. Jill says

    March 28, 2011 at 1:31 pm

    Do you ever just have a hungry day, where you know that nothing is going to satisfy you? On those days, I just go to bed early… just to avoid the kitchen. It passes overnight. Those are the worst things to have happen in the morning though! LOL… You can’t go to bed at 8 am… at least I can’t!

    Reply
  58. Mary Mitchell says

    March 28, 2011 at 2:10 pm

    Good for you Cathy for not beating yourself up. When I decided to lose weight 3 years ago I vowed to take it slow truly ease into a lifestyle change. It has worked well so far…..but like you……there are days I fall off the band wagon a little bit.
    While I’m not for mandating calorie counts to all restaurant menus….I do appreciate the ones that do offer the info. Olive garden has started doing this on their menus…..Wow…some things you would have assumed were healthy…..aren’t !!! Keep strong

    Reply
  59. tara pollard pakosta says

    March 28, 2011 at 2:30 pm

    when it comes to food, we sound exactly the same. I have those days! But this weekend, I was so proud when I went to dinner with a friend and ordered the turkey burger and broccoli and only had a few of my friends french fries!
    and also I had coffee, but got the small mocha instead of the large….it’s the little changes that are going to have the longer effect and stick in the end!
    yes, and beating yourself up does NO GOOD!
    it sounds like you are making major life changes! and that’s a good thing~
    have you read the book “made to crave”? I need to order it, I have heard such great things about it!
    tara

    Reply
  60. Kristi K. says

    March 28, 2011 at 2:31 pm

    You are different now! No smoking, daily exercise! That makes a huge difference in your quality of life 🙂 I see the difference in you…

    Reply
  61. Tammy M. says

    March 28, 2011 at 2:50 pm

    (Secretly looking around)…Cahty have you been to my house?? I went through a terrible week not that long ago where the weather was just down-right crappy, and I was feeling about the same. In went the sugar and anything else I could get my hands on…luckily chocolate and coffee were off limits because of Lent or I would have really been in trouble. If there is anything I’ve learned in this journey its that some days are really good and others not so much, but I’m not going to beat myself up over it. Because if I did I would just totally give up…so just get up, dust myself off and try again tomorrow. Thanks for keeping it real Cathy!

    Reply
  62. Tinka says

    March 28, 2011 at 4:42 pm

    “You take a deep breath, gather yourself up and keep moving through Ye Olde Obstacle Course of life and see what shakes out.”

    So true!! I started back at WW last Monday after a 10 month hiatus (for financial reasons). On the plus side, I was only up 1 pound from my final weigh in last year!!! On the down side, I celebrated my 55th birthday on that Wednesday with 2 birthday cakes, lunch out, and then dinner out four evenings, including last night. But I am perfectly okay knowing that my weigh-in tonight will most likely show a gain. After all, I only have one birthday a year and it deserves to be enjoyed! And, who knows, maybe the birthday gods will be kind and the (somewhat) better choices I made the rest of the week will compensate for all the rest!!

    Reply
  63. Sarah says

    March 28, 2011 at 6:06 pm

    wow. You just totally described by last 2 weeks! I was doing really good before, I had almost lost 20 pounds, then I just decided to make up for all the healthy eating I’d been doing like you said, and *bleep* it all up! lol but I’m not beating myself up over it this time either…I’m just going to pick up my socks and suck it up and start bingeing on carrots! haha Today seems to be going well…no bingeing, and I don’t plan on it…I have to go and weigh in on Saturday, so I have to be good! Thanks for the post! It was very inspiring on a day when I needed it!

    Reply
  64. Angi says

    March 28, 2011 at 6:56 pm

    But your running and exercise commitment continues to be impressive! You continue to inspire me with your real life ups and downs. I’m down 110 lbs since 2/10 and you’ve help me get there by sharing your stories. The past two months I’ve lost and gained the same three pounds but I keep hanging on, fighting on, right along with you. You rock.

    Reply
  65. Pilbara Pink says

    March 28, 2011 at 7:15 pm

    Thank you for your honesty – it sounds so like my own experience. I agree with those who suggest the perfectionist streak in some of us is our downfall. If I can’t be perfect then I may as well give up – man has that given me grief over the years!!! I highly recommend reading the posting on the Refuse to Regain website today. If we can remove ourselves emotionally (oh, if only) from the process then maybe we WILL be able to see the forest for the trees.

    Reply
  66. Pam Lowe says

    March 28, 2011 at 8:02 pm

    You always have a way of touching my own feelings, sorry you are having an off day, love your attitude of change.
    Thanks

    Reply
  67. Casey says

    March 28, 2011 at 8:03 pm

    As someone who is finally taking the plunge into trying to Move More and Eat Less, I am having lots of struggles. I am taking small, tiny steps right now, including trying to figure out my binge moments. Thank you for you candid honesty and inspiration Cathy! I fully know that this is a marathon change, not a sprint, but it does not make it easier.

    Reply
  68. Brooke says

    March 28, 2011 at 8:32 pm

    I eat my feelings too. And lately after having the horrible drink they give you for the pregnancy glucose test I can no longer drink lemonade (pop) or sweet juices (that are mostly sugar anyway). It’s kind of nice not to be able to drink stuff that is bad for me!

    I’d document your bad days – once you track it you might find a pattern, maybe a once a month kind of pattern?

    As for the eating out and not being able to chose the lighter options. Research where you go first. Some places serve amazing salads and lighter meals that you just can’t go past once you see them. I’ve found a lot of breakfast places offer that option – gorgeous in season fruit and yummy freshly squeezed juices. Yum!

    Reply
  69. JoLynn says

    March 28, 2011 at 9:45 pm

    Preach it, sister. The important thing is you notice and correct. The bingeing thing… I would like to meet a woman who does not fight with that. I shall shake her hand.

    Reply
  70. Jacoba says

    March 29, 2011 at 12:34 am

    Hey Cathy,
    Have you ever read anything by Geneen Roth? She’s got some really great books/info on emotional eating (which I do a lot of). Let me know if you check her out.
    All the best,
    Jacoba

    Reply
  71. cathy says

    March 29, 2011 at 8:03 am

    I have one of her books, which I think I will re-read! : )

    Reply
  72. Yolanda says

    March 29, 2011 at 11:00 am

    I read your post literally seconds after reading the one I’m going to link to here: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/sophiajackson99/view/the-binge-86705 . It’s some of the most insightful words I’ve read about binging and perhaps some part of it will resonate with you. It hit me like a ton of bricks.

    Reply
  73. cathy says

    March 29, 2011 at 11:59 am

    Thanks for the link, Yolanda! I will check it out!

    Reply
  74. Laurie T says

    March 29, 2011 at 5:31 pm

    OK – I can SOOOO relate to your post. I do the same, eating well for awhile and then totally lose it – eating whole sleeves of Thin Mint cookies (who sends those little Girl Scouts out with these “crack” cookies anyway!) My favorite drink of choice though is the original Coke Icee. We no longer have a 7-Eleven in our neighborhood so I have to settle for an Icee…I don’t care either, as long as I live, I won’t give them up…they are my one vice. Hang in there girl – you are NOT alone. 🙂

    Reply
  75. Jenna says

    March 30, 2011 at 6:13 am

    I appreciate your wisdom & insight. I often think – hey, I’m feeling the same thing! I have to second the advice for protein in the morning. If I don’t have a few egg whites in the morning, I am a starving fool by 2:30 or 3:00 in the afternoon. The other day I was out of my routine, missed my protein, and stopped for a chocolate croissant, a chocolate chip cookie, and then assorted junk for several more hours. I didn’t even bother to feel bad, just did a restart the next morning with my classic oatmeal, flax seed, apple, & egg whites.

    Reply
  76. wenjing says

    April 7, 2011 at 3:10 am

    Edit this paragraph brand strength

    Reply

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