I thought the bow was a nice touch for this month's installment of Move More Eat Less. No, I don't typically workout with hair accessories, still… they work great for bathroom mirror self portraits.
So where are we this month? Good question. I'd like to jump right into this month's layout because I think it captures what I wanted to say pretty well. Shall we?
JOURNALING READS: You might think this installment would be one giant pity party. Up again in both weight and all measurements for yet another month, why not take a dip into the Pool of Pity and wallow in what seems to be a slow and steady decline of chub reduction? Well for starters, I turned 45 last month and I made a critical and conscious decision in my life: it’s time to stop hating my body. I have spent years thinking the only valid me is a thinner me, and as much as being a permanent size 8 woman appeals to me, it says absolutely nothing about who I really am.
I had some serious binge episodes in March. Multiple bowls of Honey Nut Cheerios chased down by Blue Raspberry ICEEs, and Hershey’s Kisses. In the moment, I thought, “I don’t care.” In hindsight, that was incredibly true: I didn’t offer any care to me. Instead of trying to figure out why I was bored, sad or otherwise agitated, I copped out and ate shit until there was no tomorrow. This method doesn’t work with my new approach, which is to try and live in both truth and reality, two places I haven’t always spent most of my vacation dollars. I’m even questioning the side-by- side photos. Is this exploitation or motivation? If I ended up matching the image on the left, would that be the final nail in the coffin of my self image? Or would it simply be a reflection of a physical reality, showing absolutely nothing of what lives inside the flesh and bone package? I am Moving More and most of the time Eating Less crap. I’m working towards a peaceful compromise with the framework from which I’m operating. It’s a work in progress for sure.
As you recall, I decided to stop beating myself up last week. You know, the whole woe is me attitude which is generally followed by throwing the baby out with the bathwater, then settling in for four more bowls of Honey Nut Cheerios, followed by a fresh serving of self-loathing. Mmmm, tasty.
Not going there anymore. At least not as often as I can resist, because as many of us know, it is SO tempting to throw the Party of Pity thereby giving us free reign to just keep on mistreating our bodies.
Blog reader Yolanda sent me a link to a blog post about bingeing and it has stuck with me for the past week. In fact, this woman's entire blog is one ah-ha moment after another. She has a way with nailing food and emotion-related issues. If you're interested, I encourage you to check it out. It's certainly been eye-opening to me. (Thank you, Yolanda!)
It's a journey, to be sure. But with my life now potentially half over, I've wasted too much time already.
Here's to truth and reality and health and vitality, in the forms that work for you and for me.
Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a three-mile run to peg.
Want to learn more about Move More Eat Less 2011? Click here to learn more about the concept.