Last Saturday I climbed back onto the Eat Less Wagon, which really should just be called the No Cupcakes or Goldfish Express. I wrote about falling off the wagon last week, and I fessed up not just to blogland, but to myself for not being honest about what was going on.
And what was going on? A rolicking sugar and carb fest, people, in all its intoxicating glory.
Falling off a wagon and getting right back on is a whole new thing for me. In the past, I'd go like diet gang busters for months and then, buh-bye wagon.
But in the past six months, I keep managing to climb back on. I keep managing to not throw out that baby with the bathwater.
Here's what I've learned: it kind of sucks.
To have to go back to Square One with ditching food crap is no easy feat. The headaches I had on Saturday, Sunday and even on Monday weren't pleasant. My body was screaming for sugar. My kingdom for a Pop Tart and a glass of grape juice!
I wish I could tell you that when you fall off, you just have to back on, simple as that. But my experience is that you truly have to white knuckle a few days until the sugar headaches go away. Carb and sugar cravings are a beyotch.
I don't believe that healthy living should be about deprivation, but I do believe you have to kick a few things to the curb to get a handle on it. You can be a little black and white for a few days to let those healthy habits kick back in, or simply start up from scratch.
I still love this blog post about having a craving to go overboard on something and asking yourself what you would do if your child came to you and he or she was tired, or crabby, or scared, or lonely, or bored. Would you make them feel better by shoveling food into their mouths? Or would you try to understand what was really going on and give them emotional support and love?
That visualization helped me a few times last week, when the cravings were kicking my ass. I tried to be with myself and understand what I was really feeling and to not let food be the BandAid to make it all better.
The other thing I'm doing is continuing to research nutrition and try to discover different ideas and approaches that might work well for me and my body. I mentioned I'm reading "Why We Get Fat" by Gary Taubes, and I'm now also reading, "The Secrets to a Healthy Metabolism" by Maria Emmerich.
Again, I'm not even halfway through either book (I'm a pokey reader, plus I'm spending too much free time playing Plants vs. Zombies on my iPad) but I'm starting to explore the idea of better balanced nutrition, including more protein and healthy fats as part of every meal.
I look at this phase of the journey as a scientific study. What will happen when I start consciously adapting a different approach to nutrition, not just one based on how many 100-calorie snack packs can I squeeze in on my 29 Weight Watchers Points every day.
I'm searching for a lifestyle that fits.
So far, the Moving More is going strong and steady, albeit a little slow on the paces. But as long as I'm drenched in sweat or chlorine at the end of a workout, I'm golden.
Here's to another week on the wagon.