I'm sorry. I could take the "I don't really need this" high road no longer.
The one tech gadget I have coveted above all, the one whose inherent sacredness knows no electronic peer, that one glorious piece of modern-day wizardry about which I wondered, "Is it better than sex?", is no longer in the Want or Need category.
It is now in the Own column.
Giving Dan a shiny new iPhone for Father's Day was like putting a superhuman excelerant on the technological fires of iDesire that have been festering like hot coals since January 2007 when this phone was first announced to the world.
I couldn't stand it another day.
Or rather, I chose not to stand it another day.
Here I am cradling it to my bosom.
I know. It's hard to see on account of the ampleness of that bodily region of mine.
I realize that things don't make you happy. (Okay, maybe I don't actually realize this.)
But look how great the Instagram shots are!
And now, Dan's box has a buddy!
I feel that four years of waiting to get this phone was long enough.
I apologize in advance to friends on Twitter for all the photos of my lunch that I will soon be posting. Every day. All the time.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go wait for it to ring.