It was a very cold and blustery day 20 years ago, the day I stood before man, woman, child and God and swore my love and fidelity to my handsome, loving and loyal partner in crime, Daniel Ezekiel Zielske.
The thing I recall the most? My lack of worry.
What we were doing that day was the right thing to do. There was no other action that made more sense. This man was my soul mate. He was The One. What we were about to do was as natural as breathing.
And we settled into a life together and the years started to roll by.
We bought a house. We had a baby. We had another baby. We worked, we loved, we fought, we marveled, we laughed, we connected, we disconnected and re-connected time and again.
We wondered why we seemed to have it so easy.
But a few years ago, the disconnection seemed to be more the norm than the exception. The arguments that never resolved themselves. The lingering sense that things weren't what we both really wanted them to be. The longing and hunger for something more in our relationship filled us both.
So we did something about it.
For the past two years, we've been working with a woman who has been helping us see that in order to create the life we both want to live, we've had to make a few personal changes—some big, some small and some a bit brutal, truth be told. We've spent the past few years looking at ourselves and seeing where each of us played a part in the disconnection and taking responsibility for our actions. We've been examining what reality looks like, and we've been adjusting our misconceptions and expectations that were leading us down a road of discontent.
We didn't want to be two people growing older and growing apart.
During the past few years, I've learned how my own attitude has slowly sown seeds of discontent and disconnection. It has been illuminating, sometimes painful, and very, very necessary.
Today, we are here. We have a house. We have a girl. We have a boy. We laugh. We cry. We work. We marvel. We connect, we disconnect, and we re-connect, but now we understand why.
We also know that we chose very, very wisely 20 years ago.
I just wanted to share this with you today in the celebration of truth and the idea that people can change and grow.
I believe that if things aren't going the way you'd like them to, you can take action to make changes and create understanding and a renewed sense of purpose in your life. I believe it with all of my heart.
Happy anniversary, babe. Here's to a redefining the next 20.