This is me, yesterday, post run.
And during yesterday's run, I felt like one thing and one thing only: a big galoot.
I felt like every step was a labor of… well, labor. Every half mile the Nike+ disembodied voice lady would come on to report my progress. 11:49 per mile. 12:02 per mile.
I wasn't just imagining the slowness.
I came home after 3 miles and felt dejected. True, all runners have el crappo runs. It's par for the course. But lately, not only have I been having bad runs, but I'm also having little aches and pains that just won't seem to go away.
Combine that with the fact that at 160 pounds, I'm not as light as I was at the pinnacle of my illustrious two-and-a-half-year-old running career. So the steps, in fact, take more effort.
Then this morning, as I was following Cole out the door on the way to see him off to school, I somehow managed to kick him in the back of his shoe and crack my big toe nail.
Well that's just great. Now how will I run?
And you know what? A part of me thought: Good, I have a legitimate reason to take a break from the run. Thank God.
It's a complicated thing, this whole Move More, Eat Well gig. Now I realize there may be some of you out there who say, "Oh Cathy, come on! It's not complicated at all!"
But I think I'm the 99 percent. Or at least in the upper 80s of people for whom it takes vigilant thought and re-commitment on a daily basis. Not that it's always hard for me. It's not. But it seems I'm often giving myself that little inner pep talk to overcome the bad runs and the extra muffin toppage.
The reality is that this will always take effort. Sometimes I want so desperately for that not to be so. I want this to just come naturally; to be a poster girl for the whole Ex-Smoker and Chub Master Makes Good campaign. I want to be a shining example of health and fitness. Look how easy it is for her!
I am continually reminded that this thinking doesn't line up with my reality.
In my Move More class this month, my monthly video message is on being kinder to yourself in the process of self care. It's certainly something I'm working on. Yet another thing that for some reason doesn't come very naturally.
Isn't it great to not have all the answers but to know you at least get the opportunity every day to show up and try?
Most days, for me, it is.
If you're interested in making changes to your overall health and fitness, Move More, Eat Well is a 12-month online workshop at Big Picture Classes. The focus of this class is to embark on a personal journey that works with your unique lifestyle in helping you to find ways to make the changes you'd like to see on a fitness and health level. Registration is open all year and you can jump in anytime to join the more than 1,550 women and men who've made the decision to try to make changes in their own lives. Move More, Eat Well revolves around a robust community of users who are all creating a scrapbook/journal of their progress. To learn more, click here.
I feel exactly like that Cathy. I just got in from what was one of my better runs in the past weeks and was disheartened to see it wasn’t 5 miles, it was 4.5 and it wasn’t 11 min miles it was 12 min miles. I wonder how I could possibly ever tackle a half marathon at this rate. But it is a re commitment every stinking day. I was having a lot of pains too, I moved to more of a light weight minimal shoe and found it did help a bit. My ankles are still adjusting though.
jody ferlaak says
If it were easy, we’d all be near perfect. But that’s not the way life works. You’re spot on though when you realize we can be grateful that we have another day to wake up and try. The easy path in my own life has usually led to some form of hurt or unhappiness anyway. The pick-yourself-up- and-keep-going path is the place I have grown, learned, found my peace, earned some wings and some other great stuff too. We think we want the easy way. But the truth is the semi-medium easy hard way is usually better. By far. You still look cute and inspire just by being you. So keep that up as long as you can, is my best advice.
We all have those days. Just keep moving ahead. Do your best and forget the rest.
Yes, it is always an effort, and always will be. I work part time in the fitness industry, and one thing I tell my students is that it’s as hard for me as it is for them. I gain five pounds when I slack off too. I don’t eat a perfect diet, and I have a busy, complicated life like everyone else – I work hard to stay in shape, and I don’t look anything like a fitness model! But the most important thing is to stick with it and stay healthy – not to look a certain way. anyway, great post, I can totally relate!
I personally can’t wait to listen to this month’s message. You always motivate me. That said, I started, again, this week, with eating well and even some movement. I am at my highest weight ever. So discouraging. But you, keeping it real, like here, helps me believe I can begin again and be better and do better.
Thanks Jody. : )
I’m glad you’re not the 1%. Those people don’t inspire and motivate me. Those who struggle just like I do and share their struggles are the ones I admire. Because if I thought it was so easy for everyone while I sit here and struggle, then I would swiftly throw in the towel. So THANK YOU. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your trials and tribulations. Thank you for being “one of us.”
Bec Kilgore says
I think I am in the loser group. What percent is that?
Bec Kilgore says
And I am not talking loser like weight loss, either. Sorry, a very down day.
Lori, good for you for getting back on with the walking! : ) Yes, hopefully the June message will resonate. I need to re-listen to it now!
Cathy S says
You ARE the shining example for 99% of us. Thank you for sharing your successes AND struggles.
Yep. Im glad to be in the majority!
Bec, you know what? When I am feeling that way, I indulge it for a bit, and then I say, Aight Cathy, buck up and get going. I know how it feels to feel despondent about it all; to feel like a loser and not the kind you hope to be. You need to be with the feeling and then try and move on. Every day is a new day, right?
I’m in the EXACT same place. Pain and injuries are the pits. But all this talk has inspired me to go hit the treadmill. Thanks Cathy and everyone else too!
katie squires says
First I just have to say HUGS…I think you need some hugs 🙂 Squishy hugs 🙂
Secondly, RUNNING…I think we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to do certain things..it doesn’t matter if you run…it matters that you move and sweat. Swim, Zumba, Shred It, walk that beautiful lake of yours. Do what makes you feel good and makes you happy. Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves when it comes to a certain activity? I say this being 100% guilty of it 🙂 But running in particular is something that a lot of people put a lot of pressure on themselves with. Maybe your chasing that high you once felt, but it is ok to take a break. Do something else that will gives you that happy and high feeling again. Running will be there like a good old friend. Give your self permission to take a break, how ever long you wish, and enjoy something else. You need SOME FUN back in your sweat sessions 🙂
I love that your share with complete honesty here, even when your down your motivating.
Now go have some FUN!
Ps. Sorry about your toe 🙁
You’re still an inspiration. Honestly the ones who struggle are more inspirational to me. Don’t strive to be the one that it comes easy to, it’ll just make me depressed that it’s not me.
I’ve been running for about as long as you have. Lately I’ve been running 3-5 miles everyday. I have to say I genuinely LOVE it. Why then, is it a HUGE struggle for me to get out there every. single. day. I’m never bursting at the seems (ok well I am, but more for the donut I ate last night) to get out there and run, but I’m always happy I did it, even on the days I feel like I have cement on my feet. I think the struggle is just as much benefit as the improved time.
Vicki A says
I’m with ya girl! I’m not a runner, just don’t have the ankles for it, but I started a local boot camp Tuesday and I’m finally feeling less sore today. I felt like a complete loser not being able to do what everyone else was doing, but…at least I’m trying. The class was cancelled last night, which lets be honest, I wasn’t dejected about, but I did do the treadmill and some exercises, so I got something in. One day at a time. As always, you are the cutest, most inspirational and REAL person out there. Hugs from Iowa!!
Dana D says
I love the work “recommit” because in my journals, I notice I use a lot of “get started” and “start over”. The fact is that there has been a lot of progress made. Maybe I haven’t lost all the weight I would like, but I think about eating and moving in a whole different way. The fact that I am even thinking about running is a big change from a year ago. Remember this, and if running isn’t working now, then maybe you are freeing up energy and time to further improve the calorie in side of the equation, or (like someone else said) to find something else to “get your sweat on” that is equally enjoyable – after you get over the learning curve.
Ah Cathy I hear ya! But here’s the deal…you ran! Who cares how fast, how far, yada, yada, bleepin’ yada! Do you know how incredible that is? You, the ex-smoker out there running. How cool is that?! And you CAN run without a big toenail (and a couple of other toenails as well!). You, my dear, are VERY hard on yourself and I say this as someone who is VERY hard on myself so I get it. I really do. So feel crappy about the run yesterday for as long as you need to and then MOVE ON! Maybe even ditch the watch and the voice telling you how fast you’re going? Because really, does she know you that well? Does she know everything going on in your life and how incredible it is that you are out there running at all? I didn’t think so! Hang in there and maybe listen to another voice that is saying, YOU ROCK:)
you are a shining example of beauty and honesty! I applaud you for getting the run done. I applaud you for getting dressed to go run. I applaud you for simply thinking about going to run. each tiny step in this weird and wacky journey is a step forward and if you break it up you took SO many tiny steps forward. I told myself I was going to start yoga again on june 1. well, here we are! “do what you say you are going to do” says danielle laporte. and I did. and it hurt. and I felt like a whale. each reach of my arm seemed like such an effort. each breath felt like I hadn’t breathed in months. when it was done I couldn’t believe how fast it went. am I gonna get up and do it again tomorrow? I dunno, but I am gonna sit with the good feeling right now that I did it today. I have been where you are sitting. overweight smoker turns non smoking marathon running queen. I am back to smoking, overweight and no longer running due to an injury that sidelined me and then the declining health of my mom. the thing I have realized is that we can make plans to eat better, work out and take care of ourselves, but in the end something creeps up. it is that something that we need to learn from and take with us. do I fee like a quitter? hell ya! 99% of the time I hate myself, but I hold onto that 1% like it is gold. that tiny thread gets me out of bed and reminds me that I am alive. keep going, keep plugging along, keep trying. do something everyday that makes you smile. you have such a beautiful smile! hugs to you! ciao!
Angela Lenssen says
“Just keep swimming… just keep swimming… just keep swimmining swimming swimming…”–Dory the Fish
I don’t believe in doing things you don’t enjoy. Maybe it’s time for a change. This running thing doesn’t seem to be working for you and it may just be doing more damage than good. I was running for a bit but I switched to The Bar Method. If they had a studio near me, I would go five days a week and workout. But since they don’t have one near me I workout with their “Change Your Body” DVD 3-4 days a week at home. I have read so many amazing stories about those who have switched from other forms of exercise to the Bar Method and have finally gotten to that place of health they so long had reached for.
I have been doing it for about 2 months, not as much as I would like to with two 3 year old twins running around. BUT the changes are amazing. I feel muscles shaping in places I didn’t know they existed.
Just something to think about. 🙂
My thoughts for what it’s worth…try something else. I am not a runner, but I love spin class and my HIT classes. I am going to do crossfit this summer. Weight training is amazing and will give you amazing results! Running is a great workout but so hard on your body!
Cathy, you inspire me every day with your committment to stay committed. And your honestly with yourself and everyone else. I am no kind of runner so of course, I’m thinking alternatives, have you ever considered walking instead of running? A fast power walk, 3-4 mph? If you can find a good road route with some slopes (preferably not at the end :O) ) If your burned out on the running, maybe change things up a bit.
Paulette Sarsfield says
I am so in the 99%, right there with you and I’m 10 years older… is that good or bad?
Thanks for your honesty. I felt the same way today in my crossfit class. It was hard, I was slow.
Plugging away-that is the key! Try again, and again and again!!
Thanks, Katie. : ) And my toe, is a bit of a bummer. It also means so much for pedicures for the next month. ; )
Go Stefani… that is awesome to hear. And yes, I dont plan on being one who masters a thing! LOL!
Louise Fortune says
Hi Cathy – I have often posted on your scrap related post but never on your move more eat well posts because quite frankly – I don’t move more or eat well.
I eat junk and lead a pretty sedentary lifestyle and up until now that has been just dandy – for me !
Unfortunately I have recently come to the realisation that I don’t want to be short fat and fifty ( I am currently 47) the short and fifty I can’t do anything about but the fat I can. Seriously “mirror mirror on the wall, I am my Mother after all” plays through my mind every time I see myself in the mirror or a shop window and its not who I want to be (sooty Mom)
SO I am now eating better and it is seriously TOUGH and I have started walking, BRISK walking, because its the only exercise I am capable of I am now doing 5.4 miles twice a week and I HATE it it kicks my butt every single time and I have to force myself to go and do it.
So I am with you all the way on this post, keep the faith xx
Carolynn F says
You are amazing. I mean it. You are so authentic, funny and darn creative to boot. I’ve felt the way you describe so many times. It is of course amplified by the fact that the man in my life has the metabolism of a 5 year old child (to clarify he is not 5 – that would be weird). I choose to love him in spite of his freakish metabolism. Ha! Here is a fun thought: Even if you fall on your face, you’re still moving forward. – Victor Kiam
Thanks for continuing to share your journey. I’ve been exercising regularly for over two years, (including participating in three sprint triathlons – I’m 56) and I still don’t feel like I ever really break through. 11-12 minute runs would be excellent at the moment… For some of us, (I guess that would be the 99 or 80%…) it is just hard, with some moments of glory.
What I do enjoy is the extra calories I get to eat because I moved. And for me, most days that is enough!!!! lol. oh and the bragging rights, that carries me pretty far too…
with all my heart I believe it is incredibly simple. Move more + eat less carbs and sugar [at least those are my trouble areas!] = results.
The thing about simple, is that it does not equal EASY. It *IS* hard, and there are so many struggles and setbacks and it truly is a new lifestyle and it takes a lot of time + effort. Especially if you LOVE carbs + sugar as I do.
I really loved this post, I love how honest you are and how much you share of yourself. Thank you for that – it is inspiring.
Nancy Peacock says
I don’t love that you struggle, but I do appreciate that I’m not the only one who finds this a struggle.
I really like your honesty, and you provide a great role model for all of us. I would not read your fitness entries if it was all rah, rah, rah, this is so easy, blah, blah, blah. It’s hard every day, to eat the right things, to exercise, to give yourself another pep talk. You’re right when you say that you’re in the 80 – 99% of people to whom this does not come easily. But, it’s great to have a blog to come to that gives the skinny on the struggle. Thanks for that Cathy!
Someone posted this link today on myfitnesspal.com. It’s an awesome read and is very motivating.
I think you’re a ROCK STAR, Cathy. Keep at it!!
Susan Kopp says
Here is the sad part….I just turned 61 and I am lucky if I can walk for 15 minutes because I put myself through a year long pity party for being fat, old, and unemployed. I got over the pity party in May and went back to Weight Watchers to start over for the umpteenth time ready to accept the .2 and .4 lb. losses. This time I have lost 9 lbs. in a month and even though I can’t move much because of the knee and I can’t exercise outside because of the COPD from 40 years of on and off again smoking, I feel motivated by you to put the DVD in and just walk with Leslie Sorenson for 15 minutes, rinse and repeat for the week and then maybe increase as we go along. Thanks for sharing the real stuff and not the overblown and fluffy side of getting in shape. It ain’t all fun but it is necessary.
I love it. That Nike voice does NOT know me at all! : )
Someone just emailed me about the bar method today! I will definitely look into it!
I know that weight training should be something I really give a fair shake to. Thanks, Rachel!
Always good with you, mlady.
I really do like walking and I really have a lovely place near my house to walk. Planning on one tomorrow, if my toe agrees!
Keep it up, Louise! I know… it aint easy but getting out to walk is GREAT for the body. I plan to do more of that myself, instead of running.
Curse those men and their metabolisms. ; )
Oh yay!! I think you are going to love it!
You are still an inspiration to me…. even if I can’t run at this moment – and trust me that “excuse not to run” feels good the firs tday or two & now it’s just torture & I have such a hard time motivating alternative exercises. 🙁 For me it’s aback problem I didn’ tknow I had – I thought I had a leg problem on & off for the last 6-7 yrs… only really bad when I was pregnant – until this winter…. I got bronchitis & stopped exercising for a few weeks – and couldn’t when I was better….
I hit the gym today & felt like a total loser, but I was there. I didn’t know where my headphones were so I took the ones I found leaving the house – they were super short so I suppose I should have taken the little cord with them? Didn’t have my nook – so no reading while ellipticalling….. goes SUPER slow when you also pick the machines way away from the TVs!
You keep trying & so will I!!!!
Well, you know what, now’s your chance to try that fancy gym and use the rowing machine, or the horizontal bike (if that’s what they’re called)! Or you could go swimming?
Make lemonade, Cathy!
Big hugs and have a great week-end.
Not long ago I was having a stretch of time where I was hating on myself & feeling down for how slow I ran, my lackluster distance, my limited flexibiliy at taekwondo, the aches & pains in shins/knees and past broken joints. I was just frustrated. I’m putting in the time, excercising regularily and this is the payback my mind & body give me???? I needed a serious attitude adjustment. Why was I not focusing on the fact that I can now run a few km’s when a couple of years ago I couldn’t run down the block. Instead of thinking about my knee that will hurt forever I should think about my calf muscles that are pretty awesome these days. Instead of lamenting that I will never do the splits (who wants to anyways..lol) I should be happy that I stretch my muscles on a very regular basis and they love me for it.
I guess when I thought about it I really had to appreciate how far I had come in the fitness world. A ex-smoker, chip dip eating, couch loving soft and pudgy lady had somehow evolved into a person that exercises & I do it often. No small feat. Time to love on ourselves for what we can do…while still focusing on moving forward and making progress 🙂 Keep on keeping on!
BTW..do you like you iphone armband? I need one..and I can’t find one that I love muchly!
Love you girl!
Nancy, I can almost guarantee you that while I may have high moments in the journey, most of them are much like todays post! : )
I will check it out!
Good for you, Susan, just to keep on trying. : ) It aint all fun for sure, but it is something that is definitely going to help. : )
Hey woman! STOP beating yourself up! I think the main thing is that you got out there and ran! Sure, it wasn’t your best time, it was “a run” and it is over and you can do another tomorrow (or whenever).
I finally bit the bullet and joined LA Fitness last night on my way to a crop and posted to my blog about it. Tried the Latin Heat class this morning and I am definitely a “white girl”. I looked like I was having an epileptic seizure while I was taking the damn class, but I DID IT! That is how you have to think. IT IS DONE! Try again another day! Now, smile and move on girlie! 😉
Keep it up, Heather! : )
Oh, I can go swimming for sure!
Great perspective Vanessa! And i love the iPhone holder. Got it at Target. Its this one:http://www.target.com/p/New-Balance-Armband-iPhone/-/A-12903482#?lnk=sc_qi_detaillink. Of course, you have to take your phone out of your case, but its comfier than I thought it would be!
I’m not saying I want the easy way thru all aspects of life–but having running be easy every once in a while would be wonderful–I’m willing to live without the personal growth and learning here 🙂
I love your journalling Cathy. And although I certainly don’t want your life to be a struggle, if it was all sunshine and roses I really don’t think I would tune in. I value your “tell it like it is” approach. I had a sucky and slow run today the same as you–but the bottom line is that we got out there and did it. And we’ll do it again.
But, this post is making me realize that I don’t feel this negativity after biking like I do running–maybe I’ll have to think about what that means (while drinking my 5:00 cocktail of course).
I have been following you this whole journey and even though it is frustrating I think you are doing great. Health issues have impacted me and slowed me down. I am thinking about getting the Nike Fuel Band as a new motivator. Also, I recently split my toenail too. My nail girl put acrylic on it while it grew out and it really helped. I highly recommend it. It took a few months to grow out.
You are brave.
You impress the heck out of me.
I know, I know. : )
You know, its just one of those days! Thanks, Cyn!
I just listened to a Ted Talk by Brene Brown who pointed out we are all wired for struggle. I found it strangely comforting! : )
I may have to do that. Because Im also really bummed about the fact that I was just planning to go in for a pedi!
I dont know if its being brave, but Im definitely trying to get in line with reality these days. Trying, every day. : )
I have not been a good MMEW participant (at all) and I have been getting down on myself of late. Thanks, as always, for your honesty. I think you rock.
No getting down! Log in tonight, Annie, for the video chat. I told Dan, No wine for me tonight! LOL!
Even after runs that are sluggish, when I had to stop and walk, when they were shorter than planned–I still say “it was a good run.” I showed up, I was out there, I got fresh air, I did something! Every run is a good run in my book!
Barb in AK says
“…re-commitment on a daily basis…. it seems I’m often giving myself that little inner pep talk ….The reality is that this will always take effort.”
I had a girlfriend (I said ‘had’, may she rest in peace) who exercised like crazy–never missed a day. She asked me to be her walking partner during the summer months (we were both teachers). I walked with her, not without complaint, but mostly for the sociability. She was nice enough to always go my pace. 🙂
She often told me how much she LOVED exercising and walking (she had a membership at the local gym, too). She would ask me, “Don’t you miss it, when you don’t exercise?” ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! But she said her body yearned for it.
I could never understand it at all. I was and will remain one of those who need to recommit every day, give myself a pep talk, think about the effort it takes, then roll over and sleep for another hour or so.
Susanne H. says
With the exception of the smoking you could have substituted my name in for yours. It is reassuring that I am not the only who struggles with similar issues. When I read your posts or watch your videos in Move More class it feels like you are talking directly to me. Thank you for saying how I feel out loud. You can do it!
Debbi g says
I know someone mentioned the Bar Methond to you. I have been doing the Dailey Method and I believe they are pretty similar. Bar wasn’t close to me, but Dailey was. Soo there you go.
I have been doing karate and kick box for years and especially love kickbox. After I got my black belt, I still do kick box, but wanted a change. I felt like I needed to shock my body. Plus, I am 45 and I don’t want to create new injuries (especially with karate)…so not worth it to me.
So, I have been doing hot yoga, Dailey Method with kick box thrown in. The hot yoga and Dailey Method are so completely different than what I am used to. No aggression and joint stress!! It really took some time to wrap my head arond that one. IF you try hot yoga, see if you can find one where the lights are dim..less intimidating..haha 🙂
I agree with the other commet that maybe it’s time to switch it up..I think exercise is a struggle, but you keep doing it and that means you are strong!!! You haven’t given up. I think the hardest part is finding a way to exercise that we LOVE…that’s ajourney in itself! Ha
There are a number of hot yoga studios in my city, but there is a part of me that is really scared of it. Why? I get really ishy in heat and humidity. Never have done well in it at all. I feel like I would pass out! : ) But yes, finding something new… Im going to be looking at some new approaches this summer.
Just a thought….
As much as I love running, I also get sick of it. This happens to me every year about November 1. The thought of putting my shoes on and slogging around in the cold and dreary world makes me want to bawl.
So I just give myself permission to take a break. I try new classes at the gym, go on as many hikes as the weather will allow, and check out exercise DVDs from the library.
When I come back to running in early March-ish, my affection for it has returned.
I wish I had something awesomely hugely amazingly inspiration to make all of us not-born-runners feel the mojo every morning. But alas, I don’t, and I totally get how you feel. Thanks for sharing your struggle with us, it’s nice to know I’m not alone. 🙂
These posts should almost be called I ate the same, I moved the same and whined that nothing changed. When you first started on this journey, it was so fun to see how you scrapbooked and more importantly told your story. I looked forward to the monthly check ins, because I have yet to scrap my own journey in this realm. My own story is so personal and you telling your tale was so wonderful. And then….this. For at least the last year and a half, post after post of how you hate running, are thinking about trying some new fad diet and inter-sprinkled with these are posts on how you really haven’t changed a thing. Sprite, Icees, blooming onions, ate this and that and a family gathering….junk, along with exercise routines that haven’t changed.
Find an exercise you do love and will want to do. Hint here: Its not running! If its walking, so be it. But if you don’t find that exercise thing, you won’t do it. And you need to find that thing-moving IS the key! Stop with the liquid calories and figure out how not to make food your reward. Or figure out what else is going on in your life that your trying to fill with the junk. But please, please, please stop this monthly whining. You have the power to change. Do or not do, there is no try.
ya know…..sometimes a girl just needs a good whine….to get it out of her system, so to speak! And who do you whine to? It’s been my experience that my athletically enabled children and husband don’t care to hear how their clodhopper of a mother/wife is struggling with her fitness routine! So you go to your girlfriends. They listen no matter what and support you through your endeavor, whining and all. For some of us, whining as you term it, is stress relief in itself. The truth is, we’re looking for that ~ “you’re not in this boat alone, sista!” connection! You sound like a strong woman, and for that I say KUDOS!! For the rest of us weak willed whiners, keep at it girls! And raise your glass, a little red with the whine is good for the heart! 😉 And to CZ…..”The reality is that this will always take effort.” TRUTH!! And somedays you make it and some you don’t. That is life in a nutshell. The beauty is that we get a new opportunity each morning we wake up! Keep at it girl and love where you are in this moment!! 🙂
Ahhh man..I was just down to the USA for a Target run in Grand Forks..I will put it on the list for next time 🙂
Sara Mangan says
I know how we feel about ourselves is a personal thing and what other people say doesn’t change that but…my first glance at your pictures had me thinking, “gosh she looks toned and strong.” Take in all the good things you are doing and try to let the other stuff go.
Thank you, Sara. : )
Monda H. DeWeese says
Do you know what I love about this blog of yours . . .the raw honesty. It’s grab to be positive, and see your accomplishments, but I have always felt that social media, including blogs, can sometimes set readers up for a false sense of over achieving. We aren’t perfect. In our goals, in our parenting, in our marriages. I value your honesty because we all have rough patches and days when we feel pretty low – and that’s the way our psyches are made. Anyone who lives with a rosy glow 24/7 is destined for a crash and burn somewhere along the lines. Part of our journey is to realize our life is not a documentary, but a journey for us to write and share what we want for us – not to paint a fictional story. Our story isn’t to put the best spin on it – what will the generations that follow feel when they read it – that they can’t measure up because all they read about us is how great we were or how perfect our celebrations are or that we had the perfect life. That’s not honesty and not an example that is attainable or realistic – I feel we do a disservice to set that bar so fictitiously high. I applaud your raw openness and know that there are those of us who feel exactly the same at varying points in our lives. Love you for keepin’ it real.
Nicole Hoffman says
Maybe having a running buddy would help. I saw a show called “Head Games” that discussed and showed examples of how strong our need to conform can be. In exercising you can use that to your advantage, seeing someone else doing it can compel you to push yourself a little more than when you are alone. I’ve joined a boot camp class where i know i do more than i would on my own. When i work out by myself, I imagine them alongside me not giving up and that visualization helps me run longer, until that Nike+ voice tells me I’ve gone another five minutes. And then I try to go another five minutes. And knowing that someone is expecting you makes me less likely to roll over and press snooze. Good luck and keep going, one day, one mile, one foot after the other
Thanks, Nicole! : )