This is me, yesterday, post run.
And during yesterday's run, I felt like one thing and one thing only: a big galoot.
I felt like every step was a labor of… well, labor. Every half mile the Nike+ disembodied voice lady would come on to report my progress. 11:49 per mile. 12:02 per mile.
I wasn't just imagining the slowness.
I came home after 3 miles and felt dejected. True, all runners have el crappo runs. It's par for the course. But lately, not only have I been having bad runs, but I'm also having little aches and pains that just won't seem to go away.
Combine that with the fact that at 160 pounds, I'm not as light as I was at the pinnacle of my illustrious two-and-a-half-year-old running career. So the steps, in fact, take more effort.
Then this morning, as I was following Cole out the door on the way to see him off to school, I somehow managed to kick him in the back of his shoe and crack my big toe nail.
Well that's just great. Now how will I run?
And you know what? A part of me thought: Good, I have a legitimate reason to take a break from the run. Thank God.
It's a complicated thing, this whole Move More, Eat Well gig. Now I realize there may be some of you out there who say, "Oh Cathy, come on! It's not complicated at all!"
But I think I'm the 99 percent. Or at least in the upper 80s of people for whom it takes vigilant thought and re-commitment on a daily basis. Not that it's always hard for me. It's not. But it seems I'm often giving myself that little inner pep talk to overcome the bad runs and the extra muffin toppage.
The reality is that this will always take effort. Sometimes I want so desperately for that not to be so. I want this to just come naturally; to be a poster girl for the whole Ex-Smoker and Chub Master Makes Good campaign. I want to be a shining example of health and fitness. Look how easy it is for her!
I am continually reminded that this thinking doesn't line up with my reality.
In my Move More class this month, my monthly video message is on being kinder to yourself in the process of self care. It's certainly something I'm working on. Yet another thing that for some reason doesn't come very naturally.
Isn't it great to not have all the answers but to know you at least get the opportunity every day to show up and try?
Most days, for me, it is.
If you're interested in making changes to your overall health and fitness, Move More, Eat Well is a 12-month online workshop at Big Picture Classes. The focus of this class is to embark on a personal journey that works with your unique lifestyle in helping you to find ways to make the changes you'd like to see on a fitness and health level. Registration is open all year and you can jump in anytime to join the more than 1,550 women and men who've made the decision to try to make changes in their own lives. Move More, Eat Well revolves around a robust community of users who are all creating a scrapbook/journal of their progress. To learn more, click here.