I’ve been married now for just about 22 years. (Our anniversary is Saturday.)
I’ve been working on myself and my marriage for about four of those years.
What do I know so far about life and love?
I know that people who have effortless relationships are lucky or lying.
I know that I’m really not a damaged person, just a very neurotic one.
I know that growing and changing the core of who you are is hard but possible.
I know that internal growth without pain is not possible.
I know that saying “I am enough” is actually not true at all when you still have work to do.
I know that saying “I am a work in progress” is a much safer bet.
I know that children learn from watching the adults in their lives.
I know that my time to influence, educate and model for my children is finite and limited.
I know that I don’t have any control over my life. Life does what it wants to do and it’s my job to navigate it with innocence, responsiblity and flexibility.
I know that I’ve unlearned and continue to unlearn ways of behaving badly around the people I love the most.
I know that there is a direct correlation to the work I’m doing and the true bonds it has allowed me to create and refine.
I know that true friends are rare and a gift.
I know that truly seeing someone else and trying to understand them is the most precious and loving thing you can offer.
That’s my list so far.
Happy anniversary, Daniel Zielske. There’s really no one else on Earth that I’d rather work on my s#%t with than you.