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Definitely not drunk

April 24, 2014

Definitely not drunk

One of my goals for 2014 is to write more honestly about my life in this space.

Right now, a lot of my energy is going into working on myself.

While that may sound all new age-y and gooey, I promise you that it’s not. Not gooey. Not fuzzy. And not as fun as say, watching an Orange is the New Black marathon.

For a girl whose primary purpose over the past 48 years has been to feel good, let’s just say I’m in a major adjustment phase.

Writing honestly about my life doesn’t mean I don’t have at least three to four more good posts about my missing Aunt Flo. Believe me. I do. We haven’t even touched on adult onset acne and hot flashes from the very depths of Hell.

It doesn’t mean I’m not going to post about scrapbooking, because I’m actually really good at scrapbooking.

But it does mean I’m going to occasionally write about stuff that is less shiny because it’s taking up a huge chunk of my mental space right now.

I have appreciated the comments and feedback on recent posts. I may not respond to every comment, but I read them all and I thank you for your thoughtful commentary.

Putting vulnerable stuff out there doesn’t mean I have thicker skin than you. Believe me, I don’t.

I’m just trying to get to some truth as to the hows and whys of my own life and because I love to write, I share them here.

But it also means that when I find myself feeling afraid to write what I really want to write, more than ever it’s time to hit the post button and try to lose my fear of judgment.

Because operating from a place of fear will f@#k you up. It’s okay if everyone doesn’t like me.

I have enough I’m working on without adding that to the pile.

Thank you for reading.

 

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Comments

  1. Kendra B says

    April 24, 2014 at 1:29 pm

    I know I speak for a lot of people when I say thank you for being honest and putting your true self out there. I love knowing that other people are going through similar stuff as I am. And I don’t think its a misery loves company thing, but more of a hey I’m not in this alone kind of thing. So please keep putting stuff out there because I will definitely be reading ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  2. Carmen says

    April 24, 2014 at 1:40 pm

    The past two years have been the most trying times of my life. My health fell apart and with it all of my confidence in myself. I started out from a place of peace and it all went to you-know-where. I decided right at the beginning that I was going to be completely honest and talk about what was going on. I have been amazed with how many people are suffering with similar issues, although for different reasons. I never would have known that I had this huge group of support without opening my mouth. I think that operating from a place of honesty (even thought it is painfully difficult at times) just feels the best to me. I will tell you anything – all about our finances (doing better), my weight (207 this morning – up forty pounds since all of my health issues started and still trying to scrounge up enough confidence that I am worth doing something about it), or how I feel. You go girl! Do what feels the best to your soul and don’t look back.

    Reply
  3. Jessie at "This Girl's Nirvana" says

    April 24, 2014 at 1:55 pm

    Sometimes that push towards sharing personal stories make better connections with new friends. I say, Go for it!

    xo Jessie

    Reply
  4. Cindy says

    April 24, 2014 at 2:21 pm

    completelty agree

    Reply
  5. Deb says

    April 24, 2014 at 4:30 pm

    Love reading your blog and your honesty. I am going through a lot of the same issues being the same age. Have a fabulous weekend.

    Reply
  6. Mari says

    April 24, 2014 at 4:34 pm

    ‘Yo Shizzle is ‘fo real and I’m diggin it.
    On a more serious note because the balance is so important – it really is creating a space where those of us who are also trying to work it out can keep moving forward knowing we are not alone.
    Thank you for writing.

    Reply
  7. Hajira says

    April 24, 2014 at 4:58 pm

    “Right/Write On, Sister!” (This gen x’er, same age as you, says with no irony for the first time in her life.)

    Reply
  8. Jenny B. says

    April 24, 2014 at 5:40 pm

    I like you, Cathy! ๐Ÿ™‚ I have enjoyed all of your posts. Maybe you should add a tagline, “taking the crap out life.” Wait… that doesn’t sound as good. Ha! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  9. Ari says

    April 24, 2014 at 5:52 pm

    I love that you are so honest in a public forum, especially in an industry where the “perfect life” syndrome runs so rampant–your work is so important! Looking at scrapbooking blogs can feel so “ugh” when everyone’s posting their “I love my life!” pages and you’re barely making it through the week. Your writing is a breath of fresh, realistic air that I can always relate to ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  10. Lyndel says

    April 24, 2014 at 6:07 pm

    Thanks you. That is all.

    Reply
  11. Laurie says

    April 24, 2014 at 6:15 pm

    I agree also

    Reply
  12. Karen F says

    April 24, 2014 at 6:17 pm

    Go for it. Not that you do it for this reason but love reading your blog, makes me feel less alone, makes me think, makes me laugh and sometimes cry. Really do appreciate you sharing and processing it all with us. Thank you.

    Reply
  13. cathy says

    April 24, 2014 at 6:45 pm

    Thanks for the comments today, ladies. I just realized that all of the replies I posted to comments have bounced back to my email. Typepad is really having some issues. Again, thank you for posting.

    Reply
  14. Stacey says

    April 24, 2014 at 7:01 pm

    I like the “real you” posts! Thanks for helping us all feel less alone as we travel this bumpy, middle-aged road.

    Reply
  15. jett says

    April 24, 2014 at 7:55 pm

    Thank you for sharing your reality. Life is full of ups, downs and inside outs and it is helpful to know we all go though it.

    Reply
  16. rachael robinett says

    April 24, 2014 at 8:37 pm

    bring it on Cathy!! you’re the best, i LOVE your honesty!

    Reply
  17. Susan M says

    April 24, 2014 at 9:23 pm

    Cathy, I’ve been reading your blog for a long time, and I so appreciate your perspective, honesty, creativity, and the fact that you’re willing to share so much with us. I started listening to the Weight and Wellness nutritionists because of you, subsequently changed my diet dramatically, and am still on the path to better health (often straying, but still fighting the good fight !). I’ve learned so much from you, and I’m so glad you’re still willing to show up and do what you do ๐Ÿ™‚
    P.s. And your scrapbooking continues to rock!

    Reply
  18. Cara S says

    April 24, 2014 at 10:59 pm

    I’ve never had a problem with any topic you’ve posted – yay for honesty and a lack of sugar coating on life. As Ari said, so much of the scrap booking industry is full of “I love my life” and “so Happy”. Enough!
    I also love the way you can put a humorous twist on your serious posts – not to make them any less serious, but at least to give us a little smile as we read them.

    Reply
  19. Monique van Duren-van Der Meer says

    April 24, 2014 at 11:55 pm

    You go girl. Love your honesty, like many other ladies already said it feels good to know your not alone. Always love to visit your blog.
    Thanks Cathy ๐Ÿ˜€

    Reply
  20. Carrie-Ann says

    April 24, 2014 at 11:58 pm

    Go Cathy, Go! I like honesty, despise “fake”. And if you were to have a drink, a real honest adult drink, what would it be?

    Reply
  21. Linda says

    April 25, 2014 at 12:11 am

    Just remember that not everyone is perfect. At least you recognize your weak points, not everyone does. And if they don’t like you, they shouldn’t or wouldn’t be reading your blog. Hang in there and we’re with you,

    Reply
  22. LouiseFortune says

    April 25, 2014 at 1:05 am

    Fo me – I have always secretly loved the fact that we are similar, same age, same profession, unintentionally similar hairstyle and glasses ( I looked like this even before I knew you looked like you !) boys of a similar age, similar outlook on life, no nonsense approach to scrapping.

    Personally I would stop reading if you sold out and started publishing the “blessed, happy” highlights of your life, so heres to our lives – warts and all.

    Reply
  23. Meredith says

    April 25, 2014 at 4:48 am

    Just chiming in to say that I really appreciate your candour about the various “non-shiny” parts of life. Also, I’m in total sympathy re the adult acne! Your blog sits at the top of my reader and I can’t see that changing anytime soon.

    Reply
  24. kathyjocamacho@att.net says

    April 25, 2014 at 5:24 am

    I love your posts. They touch me. Although I may not have the exact same issues as you are having, it’s good to know we all go through the same types of things. We all have challenes. And I think you are funny as hell! LOL!! You have taught me so much; in both scrapbooking and life. Keep typing!

    Reply
  25. RitaQ says

    April 25, 2014 at 6:29 am

    the ‘OK if everyone doesn’t like me’ …. pls don’t even go there. There are so many of us who LOVE you that anyone else DOES NOT matter!!! It always amazes me when/if someone posts a ‘mean girl’ comment. Why not just go away. Don’t read the blog. Let the rest of us enjoy you. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  26. Gigi says

    April 25, 2014 at 6:52 am

    Cathy, thank you for being so real. The problem with the world today is that people walk around with a facade instead of sharing the load. As I have aged, I have realised that perfection does not exist even with the most beautiful people you see out there. I have suffered greatly in my life, health issues and major losses of loved ones. What has got me through you might ask? or maybe not…. lol but people like you Cathy. People who live in other continents, but are going through exactly the same stuff I do….. makes me realise I am not alone, I am not different, I am not singled out. I have followed you since I met you in 2006 (Australia) keep staying true to yourself and anyone who doesn’t like it, well….. they don’t have to read it do they. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  27. cathy says

    April 25, 2014 at 7:08 am

    Oh, a big bottle of red wine. For sure. Ever since I tried to do rum shots inโ€”gaspโ€”high school and threw up, I have stayed away from the hard stuff pretty much my entire life. Not even a margarita. I’m a red wine girl all the way.

    Reply
  28. cathy says

    April 25, 2014 at 7:09 am

    Well I secretly love that too! Believe me, there are some really joyous things that I like to share, but I’m really connecting to the balance of joy and sadness, yin and yang sort of.

    Reply
  29. cathy says

    April 25, 2014 at 7:10 am

    I appreciate the way you spell ‘candour.’ ; )

    Reply
  30. cathy says

    April 25, 2014 at 7:13 am

    Rita, you’ve been with me a long time here. I was having a conversation with my best friend, also a person who puts stuff out there for public consumption, and yes, I might judge a post written by someone and will even think snarky things about itโ€ฆย I’ll admit it. But I would never post something mean, nor would I probably post something that I felt truly needed to be said if it meant dressing someone down.
    I guess does that mean someone who is mean in public instead of behind the scenes is more authentic? Or just a mean person? Like seeing all the nasty stuff people post on YouTube in the comments. Unless you’re 12, why would you do that?

    Like I said, I don’t have thick skin, but I’m working to be defined. To be who I am. Next thing you know, I’ll be swearing like a sailor….

    Reply
  31. cathy says

    April 25, 2014 at 7:15 am

    Gigi, I do like the universal connection. And yes, if people don’t like it, they have so many other online choices. There is a blogger I used to LOVe and now, maybe I read her work once every few months. I didn’t need to tell her why I didn’t want to read her anymore. I just don’t. Moving on. I don’t know more than she knows. I’m not smarter than her. I just didn’t need what she was offering. There’s no real hurt there, or offense.

    In another note, that trip to Australia and NZ? Trip of a freaking lifetime.

    Reply
  32. cathy says

    April 25, 2014 at 7:16 am

    I embrace the not everyoneโ€”I’d wager no oneโ€”is perfect. : )

    Reply
  33. cathy says

    April 25, 2014 at 7:19 am

    It’s never my full intention to create a misery loves company, but I’ll admit, there is a bit of that in there in that i’m writing and looking for commiseration at times. For sure. But this is an interesting time in life. Middle aged. It IS middle aged, too. For real. I think as a scrapbooker there’s change as well, of course, with kids moving out of the house and such, but just life in general. I am learning there is no real, “Okay, whew… I MADE IT! Now I can chill out,” kind of thing happening.

    That, and the stuff I’m learning as I work through my stuff, well, it’s life changing, hard and enlightening, all at the same time. : )

    Reply
  34. Shannon says

    April 25, 2014 at 7:43 am

    Once again, plain and simple, you rock!

    Reply
  35. janel says

    April 25, 2014 at 7:50 am

    I have read your blog for years, and it is a daily read for me…I have to say that I have loved reading about your journey and watching you grow in your career as a blogger/parent/ spouse/ relationship builder. I hope you continue to share your journey…and I just have to say that your blog home will give you much comfort and support as you go through the upcoming phases of Aiden leaving home….and then when Cole takes those steps, and then the empty nest, and retirement stages. Keep at it, as your voice just makes you stronger and wiser. Thanks for sharing your story…I enjoy every post. This coming from a person that has gone through these stages….and am happy for each day that I read about your journey.

    Reply
  36. Jacquie Desilets says

    April 25, 2014 at 8:39 am

    I echo Janel’s comments…could not have said it better. I will add that I am not much of a blog hopper, but a day without your latest post, is not an option. I chuckle at the fact that all my scrap buddies know exactly who I am talking about when I mention ‘Cathy.’ And more times than not, a discussion will ensue from your latest blog topic. You have touched so many…thank you.

    Reply
  37. cathy says

    April 25, 2014 at 10:06 am

    Thank you. : )

    Reply
  38. Kathy says

    April 25, 2014 at 12:06 pm

    i admire your ability to *put it all out there*. i identified with you right away because of your honest writing style. the judgey mcjudgertons don’t matter! <3

    Reply
  39. Liz Toms says

    April 25, 2014 at 5:06 pm

    I so enjoy reading your posts Cathy, it’s a kinda therapy without the cost! I can identify totally – I’m five years older than you (how on earth did I get to this age and yes – survived!) I’m also an empty nester which was such a change for me as I had my first child at 19 followed by my second at 29 and she left home 18 months ago so for nigh on 30 years, I had a child at home! Big change when none of them are here anymore! Also, all the other life changes – your posts make me realise that we’re all in this together and I’m not alone ๐Ÿ™‚ I thank you for that!

    Reply
  40. Mara says

    April 25, 2014 at 5:42 pm

    You’re pretty rad. Thanks for putting yourself out there, it’s not easy to do!!

    Reply
  41. Kimbra says

    April 25, 2014 at 7:01 pm

    With every one of these posts I seem to like you more. From someone who can relate – thanks or keeping it real ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Reply
  42. Kary in Colorado says

    April 25, 2014 at 10:07 pm

    I will always read as long as you write. You are one of my favorite people.

    Reply
  43. Carrie-Ann says

    April 25, 2014 at 11:10 pm

    Red wine here too. However, I do love a Mojito in the summer. I’m always looking for a good Pinot Noir, so if you’ve got any recommendations, throw them my way. My high school drunk (took 20 min in all) – Peach Schnapps. Still don’t know what I was thinking.

    Reply
  44. KarenT says

    April 26, 2014 at 3:01 am

    Please, please talk about adult acne, I didn’t even get acne during puberty so I’m not coping with it at all, or the extra facial hair!! On the plus side the hot flushes have lessened and I don’t miss Aunt Flo at all, although occasionally she tries to come back – I say bugger off permanently love! I love your honesty and wish I had you as a real friend rather than a blog-friend. Although we are going through the same things physically, you’re kids are moving out while mine are in Grade 3. Keep up the fun blogging I will keep reading.

    Reply
  45. Robyn Couillard says

    April 27, 2014 at 9:21 am

    You go on with your bad self Cathy! I am usually a lurker here but had to comment. THANK YOU for even mentioning adult acne and hot flashes from the pits of hell! I love truth telling writers the best! Be the real you! That is why most of us are here!

    Reply
  46. Cindy says

    April 27, 2014 at 10:27 am

    Yes ma’am.

    Reply
  47. cathy says

    April 28, 2014 at 7:34 am

    judgy mcjudgertons. I have a new phrase to use. YES!

    Reply
  48. cori j says

    May 7, 2014 at 4:26 pm

    Love your eloquent way of saying menopause really sucks…. the personal summer going on in my body is so not cool. I love that you write about it and put yourself out there for everyone… being afraid to is natural but does it help to know you help others with your words? Keep writing and sharing-there will always be someone who needs to hear what you have to say.

    Reply

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