I made a somewhat half-assed attempt at doing the Whole Life Challenge this past Fall. I was all in for about three weeks and then I wasn’t and it was all very conscious. Nothing happened to make me decide to stop trying other than me consciously saying, well, you know exactly what I said but let’s keep it clean today, shall we?
Maybe I did let my feelings get in the way. I don’t feel like doing this anymore. Life is too short to not have Oreos. I don’t care. This is what I’m going to do.
But the truth is, I haven’t been taking the best care of myself. I haven’t been eating well. I haven’t been exercising. I know. What’s new Cathy?
But a week ago I decided to just do it. Just step on the scale for the information. Stop with the drama already! That number isn’t my self-worth. I actually get that.
And what happened surprised me.
The number was the biggest number I’ve seen since I was about 7 months pregnant with Cole and I felt this wave of calm wash over me. I went into this scale experience seeking information and guess what? I got information.
So rather than jump into a deep well of despair and self-pity, all I thought was, “Okay, let’s do a little better than we’ve been doing.”
A few things are going on here, and ladies, I’m about to get into this so if you’re not in the mood for the truth I’m going to be laying down related to The Change, you can stop reading now. But Aunt Flo has been officially missing 19 months. She is AWOL. She is gone without a trace and the way my body is starting to change is kind of shocking. True, I’ve not been taking the best care of myself but I’m not letting everything go to hell in a handbag. Yet some of this extra weight is most definitely related to this. I joke about my love of Oreos, but I don’t eat them all the live long day.
I work with a therapist, as many of you know, and I don’t bring up my issues with weight very often with her. Mostly because the things she tells me are things I don’t enjoy hearing. Some of those things I’m not even ready to share in this space just yet, but know this: she tells me I’m very conscious of what I’m doing. But she also reminds me of this fact: as women age, every few years we have to evaluate the changes and make adjustments. I feel like I’m really seeing this in an up close and personal way at the fresh age of 48.
The whole scale thing this time just made me feel like I’ve got a job to do and that job is to take better care of myself and hopefully shed a little of the love handle in the process. I don’t feel sorry for myself. I don’t feel like a victim. But I can do a little better and that’s what I’m doing to do.
I realize there are people out there who shake their heads and think, “Enough already, Cathy! Figure it out.” My therapist might be in that group but I’m working to figure it out and sometimes, I’m just a slow learner.
But I keep showing up and trying.
And yes, I do teach a class that revolves around this very topic, but I tend to teach around topics that are very personal to me and it doesn’t get more personal for me than this one.
So today, a big number on a scale is just information that tells me I need to make some changes and do a little better.
I’m on it.
The Move More Eat Well Jumpstart commences on January 1. This class is about being positive and looking inward to connect to what is going to work for you. We are strong women who are connecting to what will work in our lives and what won’t. Join now and get involved in our private Facebook group to get to know some of your fellow students and get a jump on the January start in our supportive community. For more information or to register, click here.