I know. It’s just a Google-search away, but I want to go old school with my intel.
(Have you ever seen that clip with Louis CK, lamenting how people don’t have to work for information the way they used to thanks to Google, talking about how he yearns for the days when if you really wanted to know something about Tom Petty, you had to wait until you saw someone wearing a concert tee and then ask them?)
Consider yourselves my Fall concert tee.
I haven’t been posting with my usual zeal for the last few months. My goal is to get three posts up a week. It’s kind of been that since the start. But lately it feels like more of a challenge to do this.
Part of it’s just ebb and flow. There are times when I have a lot more to say. There are times when things are easier to say.
Part of it’s work. Work takes a certain amount of creative energy and sometimes there isn’t much left over for blogging.
Part of it’s the nature of blogs in this current era. I’ve heard it’s waning across the boards. I know for myself that my own blog consumption has dropped, so for me, that would seem to be true.
Part of it is this place I’m at in my life.
One of my children is a college student, out there forging her own way and one where I don’t know her every move. (A positive thing, to be sure.)
One of my children is 16. (A loaded statement, to be sure.)
Then there’s me.
Then there’s Dan.
And that whole thing.
I love it when I sit down to write and something great comes out. I love it when I sit down to write with precisely zero idea of what I want to say but something emerges anyway.
I don’t love it as much when I feel as though I have nothing to say.
Know what I’m saying?
I’m coming up on my 50th year on this planet. There are days when I am overwhelmed with gratitude that I get to be here, alive in this seriously wonderful and alternately terrifying world. There are days where I think to myself, “Cathy, don’t f#$*ing WASTE this time you’ve been given.”
So I’m doing things right now to that end. Taking better care of my physical self. Working to improve my internal self. Neither of which always feels good but I can find tremendous satisfaction when I do what is needed on both levels.
I think there is something here. Something in this middle space of life. Something that is as exciting and scary as adolescence; or those years when you’re first out on you’re own. It’s just different.
That’s what’s on my mind today. It’s a start.
It’s funny but when I sat down to write this it was going to be about how annoyed I am at the way Facebook doesn’t let people see what I’m sharing there anymore unless I pay to play. And then this came out.
I’m okay with that.