I have this idea about myself that I approach everything with equal focus and passion. If I’m working, then I’m really working. If I’m cleaning my house, then I’m really getting down and dirty and getting the job done. If I’m cooking, I’m usually savoring every chop, simmer, and seasoning. And I can binge watch a television series with the best of them.
But the last few weeks have shown me just how little downtime I have been embracing this past year. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t work 80 hour weeks. That only happens on rare instances and usually the reason why is because of poor planning on my part. But I am definitely realizing that I don’t take time off nearly as much as I probably should.
Working for myself, there is only vacation time if much preparation has gone into place. I have taken vacations over the past decade, albeit not very many, but I am capable of planning to be away from this computer and this office where so much of my life is spent.
The other thing that complicates active downtime is that I love what I do. Sometimes when I am working on a new class, or designing some new products, or working on a new scrapbook layout, I lose track of time. Do you know how grateful I am that I lose track of time while doing my job? I’m no fool to know that is a gift.
I think that’s what makes taking time off difficult for me, because I want to keep doing this. I don’t want to dust off my resume. I don’t want to have to wear a bra every day. I don’t want to make small talk in the office break room. And I definitely don’t want to share the office refrigerator only to find my yogurt has been taken yet again.
So I think this is why my present injury is challenging my beliefs about myself and how I work. During the past few weeks of re-figuring out how to create an effective workflow, I’m realizing just how at home I am when I’m working. I am realizing how hard it is for me to walk away and just chill and not be constantly doing.
Dan and I like to joke about that phrase, I’m a human being not a human doing. And as funny as I think that it is, however cliché, I think I’m much more of a human doing, and not that it’s a bad thing, but it’s definitely something I need to put into a more balanced perspective.
That’s what’s floating around my head this morning. That, and the fact that I only have 15 more days until the hard cast comes off.
p.s. Be sure to check back tomorrow for a fun, free holiday cut file that just might work in your holiday albums specifically your December Daily albums. Apparently I can design cut files one-handed with no problem.