It’s October, my favorite month of the year, and you probably have noticed (or not) how little I have been posting about my personal life in this space.
That’s going to happen from time to time so this is a small update of what’s being happening around here.
Watching my daughter establish her life in law school has been a real joy for me. She is loving it and getting into the groove of being a graduate student. She’s made some fellow law school friends in her house where she lives and she’s out there doing it. I love the fact that she comes home for Sunday dinners and that she’s just five miles from home. I realize that once she graduates, she could go anywhere for work, so I am staying in the moment and enjoying it. And yes, her handwriting is like a tiny, tiny typewriter and our Bitmojis are on point.
Watching (yes, I’m gonna use that twice) how Cole is adjusting to college life. And when I say watching, I really mean taking any info as it comes with gratitude. He is finding his way, and that is all I need to know. Some of you may have sons that talk a lot and tell you everything. Cole tells me what I need to know, and that’s okay by me. He’s becoming independent and that makes me very proud and happy for him. He played in his first collegiate ultimate tournament last weekend. I think he is going to make SUCH a great college player. I’m not just biased. He’s really good. (#87)
Watching (third time’s a charm!) Dan adjust to teaching his third/fourth grade split. This is Dan’s third year of teaching and he is in a new grade, for the third time. He really loves this career change. He is planning to write about his experience and share it here on my blog. It’s no small thing to change careers at the age of 50. He works more than I’ve ever seen him work. 12 and 13 hour days at school, and more every evening once he’s home and on the weekends. But the trade off is having passion in his work and that is something I’ve been fortunate to have for the past 19 years as a self employed person. Dan had lost that passion in his old career and has found it in this new one. I am really hoping he gets tenure for year four. (And yes, I helped him make that wall and it pretty much rocks. Student names covered for privacy, but Aidan wrote them all using a white paint pen.)
Watching (hello #4) what life is like in this partially empty nest. I’ll tell you what the downsides are first, okay? One downside is the worry of it all. Now that is a bit neurotic because I have learned that worrying is really a waste of energy and time, but I have experienced a little anxiety that is not normally part of my overall being. Mostly worried about Cole. A little worried about Aidan. Not too much for me and Dan, but you know… it transfers. Another downside is connecting to the pain that a phase of life that I once knew, being a mom with children living in my home, is over. True, Cole will be back in the summer (I hope!) but those years of being a family under the same roof are coming to an end. One part of the pain is wondering if I did enough to help them both become responsible adults. I know I’ve worked really hard for the past seven years since starting therapy to become a mother who gives them what they need. It’s still my job to give them what they need as adults, too, it just looks different. And in a sense, that’s a real positive.
Another positive? SO MUCH LESS LAUNDRY! I had no idea my son created so much laundry.
Another positive is just being able to get into a flow with whatever I’m doing. No driving anyone anywhere. No school pick ups. There is a freedom of schedule that is really nice.
And so far, it’s feeling just fine.
Now is also a time that Dan and I can continue to work on our relationship, too. And that is always going to be something we need to do.
So that’s my update.
It’s going well, friends.
I used to write a lot to sort out what was going on in my head. I think I have become strangely introspective over the past through years, to the point of thinking about things internally and working them out in my mind, as opposed to in a public forum like a blog. I do miss telling stories, but I need to figure out which ones can work in this space. I’ll be working on sorting that out.
One public service announcement: as it is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, my reminder to you: get your mammogram if it’s your time and your year. I just had mine last week and thankfully, the results were normal. Here’s to all of those brave people who are facing cancer.