This year, I want to drink more water.
As I was coming up with ideas for my Letterboard, trying to be clever because if you’re going to put words up, they sort of have to be clever (just browse through Letterfolk’s Instagram feed and you’ll see what I mean!), I was thinking of ways to make drinking 75 ounces of water daily seem easier.
Perspective is a beautiful thing.
I do think new years bring with them a lot of hopes—and pressures—to do more, be more, live more, love more… you get the idea. And I personally love the shift from old year to new. In my mind, I always visualize the change from one year to the next as a calendar that is stacked. You always step UP into January. You never step down.
I have a few plans for the new year, too. One of them is to get back to more personal story telling, but I am not sure what that looks like just yet.
For years, I have used my blog as a place to write about my life. I started blogging in 2005, then took the whole blog down in 2006 after I got tired of dealing with asshats and dumb comments, and then I started over in 2007 when I realized that my blog was a sacred space where I could explore my own story. Trolls and, well, asshats be damned.
And I blogged weekly for many, many years, surprising even myself with my frequency and dedication.
Much of it was related to my work in the crafty world. But much of it was dedicated to my personal life, within limits mind you, but personal nonetheless.
Then this middle place arrived. A time wherein children started moving out. A time wherein Aunt Flo packed her bags for good. A time wherein I suddenly felt more private and more protective of my life and part of me has recently wondered is that simply the invisibility that we embrace with middle age?
I started to feel more balanced in some ways, not needing to write things out as much; not wanting to put stuff out there in a way that now, with my growing, dare I say wisdom, would seem irresponsible or manipulative, or at the very worst, harm in any way the people I love.
And a big part of it is my children are not children and their stories are not my stories to tell.
But what about my story?
There are aspects that I think, thanks to years of therapy, might not resonate today in this space for many reasons. Mostly, I am not the same neurotic person I was a decade ago. Neurotic people who like to write can be so much more entertaining. I’ve grown up a lot because therapy held up a mirror and I was offered a choice: stay the same childish human I had been my entire life, or step up and assume the mantle of adulthood in a real and responsible way.
I am a different person today and that is a good thing for all involved. Especially for me.
But the thing is, I still like to think I’m smart and funny. I use my Instagram Story to let that side out. Maybe that is what has lightened the blogging load for me in some ways. As a self-employed woman and an introvert (which is hard for some people to accept), I still need outlets for fun. Or silliness.
But I do miss writing. And it seems that this so called middle place is in danger of becoming an invisible part of my history. And even though there is a real beauty in being able to stay in the background, because you can observe what is happening all around you in a real way, I don’t want this phase in life to go undocumented.
I mean, no one told me about the chin hair. Why don’t we talk more about the post-menopausal chin hair?
Believe me, I have so much more compassion for my Nana, who always seemed to have giant hair growing out of one of the moles on her face.
Now, I get it.
So for 2019, I have a few goals. I’d like to blog more stories about my life. I definitely want to share more cards and some scrapbook pages and projects, too. See, the thing is that I’m not a prolific scrapbooker and so most of what I do is for my Design Your Story column in Scrapbook and Cards Today magazine (where I also serve as the magazine’s art director), and also for upcoming classes.
But make no mistake: I am still a scrapbooker, friends. It’s a hobby that stuck. For better. I need to wrap up two more months from 2018 in my year-long Scrapbook Your Year project, get a book ordered and then I promise to share a video as soon as I have the book in my hands.
Finally, I’d like to drink more water. Last year was not a banner year in terms of my health and the thing is, it’s not going to be handed to me anymore. Apparently I’m going to have to work a bit for it, which is why I’m all in for Fit 2019, too. Yes, it’s part of how I make my living. That class has been a big boost to my business over the years. But in this lovely middle place, where I am so grateful to be alive and functioning, I need to make some better investments in my self care.
So that’s the update from CZ Central. A nice enough place in the middle of life where I hope to share more stories in 2019. I appreciate you for stopping by.
A HEAD’S UP: The introductory price for Fit 2019 ends on January 15th at midnight. It’s $26 for a year of tracking materials, inspiration and a very supportive community of people who are trying to fit self care into their lives in a real and sustainable way. It’s not too late to join and save. Click on the image above for more information and to register.