Hey. It’s me. What’s up?
From time to time I field an email or two from long-time blog readers who say, “Cath… are you okay? You’re not really sharing much these days on your blog. What’s up?”
It’s true that I just don’t use this blog to write many personal stories. It’s been a slow evolution but a very conscious one, and a very natural one. And one that has evolved from the process of transition.
The transition, of course, is moving into a true middle place in life where my children are adults and where my own experience has become a bit more personal. Personal in that I’m trying to learn more about my own life and what that looks like in this middle aged place. And while I’m sure I could find really funny or inane topics to explore, I’ve chosen not to. At least not right now.
The thing is, life is great. It’s also hard. It contains joy and pain and lots of in betweens. And for that, I am presently grateful.
I think another transition is moving personal stories onto different platforms, namely, Instagram stories. If you follow me on Instagram (and yes, I have two accounts—one is just for personal, non-craft related photos, and the other is my crafty account), I do share daily in my CZ Design account Stories. I think that has been a nice place to pop in, say hey, and have a little fun. It’s not the same as reading a blog post, granted, but it’s where I’m at every day if you’ve been missing that sort of interaction.
So I’ll try to give you a bit of an update in the here and now about what’s up with me. Shall we?
My hair is long-ish and gray. I haven’t had a hair cut in over a year. I’m not sure why I decided to grow my hair out after all this time, other than to save money on haircuts. It’s really gray and I’m okay with it when you consider that people pay for gray hair in the modern era. So, there’s that.
I’ve lost some weight. One year ago I was diagnosed with high blood pressure and I decided to try and make some changes to bring it down without medication. My doctor said, “Go for it, and check back with me.” I’ve lost 40 pounds by giving up most alcohol and gluten, lowering my overall carbs and abstaining from junk food. Exercise has only played a minor role in this process, as I have some knee issues. I mostly shoot to get 10,000 steps a day and that seems to keep things moving just fine. My blood pressure has been back to normal for the past 6 months. Yes, I lean into keto and it’s been great for getting all of my numbers into a healthier place. (And yes, I will be offering my Fit 2020 class because it has kept me honest this year, and I think I have something to offer people in the motivation department. Details coming on that next month!) I’m not sure why I’ve stuck with this approach. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older and I’d like to be around and healthy for a while. It’s not just to have a slightly smaller ass.
I make a lot of cards now. In March 2017, I had to make a card for the Scrapbook & Cards Today blog and something clicked when I ran a die through a die cut machine. Since then, I’ve been all in on it. Designing stamps and dies for Simon Says Stamp has been a veritable shot in the arm for my business. And, it makes me feel crafty again, something I had not felt for a while in scrapbooking because let’s be real: I’m not very crafty as a scrapbooker! I just like stories and words for my albums. Card making has let me play and explore in a whole new way, and that has been the surprise of my life for the past few years. Also, I love making YouTube videos. As in, I freaking love doing it. I like planning them. Filming them. Adding the voice overs and editing them. It’s been a new thing and I like learning new things. And technology.
I still scrapbook. It may seem like all evidence to the contrary, but I still make pages every month. Most of them show up in my Design Your Story column over at Scrapbook & Cards Today where I work as the art director, and the rest are part of my Scrapbook Your Year project, which is now in it’s 4th year.
I still plug away in therapy. I’ve been working with an amazing woman since 2011. Originally, I started talking to her (as did Dan) to figure out the bumps in my marriage. I had no idea what I was getting into because as it turns out, I had to work on myself first. There have been leaps forward and huge steps backward, but the good news is that it’s a process I’m still showing up for. I think part of developing myself has made me a bit less of an oversharing sort of person, because I’m learning how to observe and understand instead of just blurt out every thought that occurs to me. And, that’s a bit of a change. I grew up as a person who started to talk as soon as she walked into any room. Today, I’m working on being a person who listens instead. My therapist kicks my ass on the regular. It’s not feel-good fun, but it’s exactly what I need and what allows me to actually create connection with the people I love. Doesn’t always work for like a charm for me and Dan, but hey, like I said, I’m still showing up.
Long story short: I’m here, doing my thing and not completely sure how my personal stories tie into this space. There is a line from a Cloud Cult song that always comes to mine and that is “The more I know, the less I’m knowing,” and you would think that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but to me, it just reminds me that if I keep working and learning I’ll realize there is so much to know about so many things and that being curious about them might just let me earn a little bit of wisdom as I go.
So that’s the scoop. I promise to be back with a few more personal stories here and there as I sort it all out. Thanks for reading.
And come find me on my IG story.