January is winding down and I thought I’d post about how my 2020 self-care regimen is going thus far and the short answer? Even steven.
My first post of the year gave you a little background on my latest efforts (and by latest, I mean the past 15 months!) to get healthier. And by healthier I don’t simply mean Ye Of Smaller Buttocks. Although that’s a nice bonus, I won’t lie.
Fun side story: I was having some tightness in my chest a few weeks back, something I experienced a number of years ago that found me in the ER on a Mother’s Day (it turned out fine), and because I had JUST seen something on Facebook about female heart attack warning signs, I didn’t mess around and went in.
Turns out, numbers are fine. ECG fine. Blood work fine. Chest x-ray fine. BP actually was fantastic. It appears that it might be something gastro related, which is odd, because I really don’t eat anything to cause those types of issues. That said, while I’m far from being a hypochondriac, I’m all about getting yourself checked out if you feel something is off.
And before you think, “Well, you just have it all figured out now, missy, don’t you?” You should know that when I thought maybe I was having heart issues my anxiety was literally off the charts.
For whatever reason, something is different right now in my life in terms of the choices I’m making. Health scares are part of it. Getting older is most definitely part of it. But a big part of it, even with the tiny bit of anxiety I experience from time to time, is removing the drama from my choices.
For me, drama means victimhood, and victimhood is something I am all too familiar with, in the sense of feeling helpless to make changes with all this stuff, or looking somewhere to place the blame. In the past, when the victim part of my brain takes over, I give up and say, “Well, this is too hard and I’m going to be fine as is.”
Last year’s blood pressure told another story.
What is needed? That’s a phrase I’ve been learning about in therapy and boy, on most days, I barely scratch the surface of truly being able to answer that question in all areas of my life. It’s not a clever question about more caffeine (although I’m LOVING my new mug from MudLove and will be doing a fun giveaway/promotion with them in February!)
It’s really about looking at facts and separating the emotion from them. It’s not that I will ever extract myself from my emotional responses to life, but… if I can separate them I can see what is needed in any situation. So far, it’s easiest to do with how I feed and move my body. Second would be my parenting. And coming up the rear? How I interact with the hubby.
Like I said, this missy is a work in progress. Ergo, why I still work with a therapist.
My goal with Fit 2020 is to help women separate facts from feelings and get past the drama that can make it so hard to change things about your self-care. And make no mistake, it’s hard.
It’s hard to get off junk food. It literally messes with your brain. The cravings for crap are real. That’s a fact.
It’s also a fact that when you make changes, eventually, those cravings will lessen and eventually fade. At least physically
The emotional part? That is hard. And hard to separate.
I remember how hard the emotional aspect of quitting smoking was back in 2006. After about two weeks, the physical cravings passed. But it was fully three years before I could see someone smoking on the street and not feel completely pissed off that I couldn’t do that anymore. Of course, nicotine addiction is extreme, in my opinion, but I had to work through the emotions of how different my life was without my pack-a-day smoking habit.
Suffice to say, I learned a lot about my abilities from quitting smoking. I need to connect to that more often.
Because that was a truly badass move. So is self-care in general.
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