CZ Design

A little life update from me.

A little life update from me.

It’s been a minute since I posted anything about my life in this space. And yes, that is on purpose. More or less.

A funny thing happened on the way to middle age. I felt less of a need to put it all out there. I felt a bit more closed off from a public standpoint. I spent more time (and continue to spend more time) looking inward… talking less… observing more.

Not that my blog was ever a tell-all story in the life of a public-memory-keeper-turned-mostly-card-maker. I have always known when to reel it in while also maintaining the semblance of someone who strives to be mostly authentic in the online crafty sphere.

But my children became adults. Their stories are their own. And while I realize my story doesn’t stop there, many, many years of therapy is teaching me the value in working to understand myself, my life and those around me. It takes more effort that I initially had budgeted for it. Imagine that! And that is a good thing.

So here on my blog I haven’t talked much about my personal life but I wanted to update you on the fall of 2020, which is now moving firmly into the winter of the same so-called dumpster fire of a year.

Back in early October I started having wrist issues. This is nothing new for me. When you’ve worked for 30 years pointing and clicking for many hours every day of the week, it’s a thing. But then some new things cropped up. Numbness and tingling all over my body. A sense of full-on panic and dread. Don’t get me wrong—I’ve been a worrier most of my life—but thanks to said years of therapy, I can usually separate what is real from what is neurotic. (Spoiler alert: most of it is neurotic.)

But this was different.

Because of the numbness and tingling, I ended up at urgent care because they don’t mess around with that shit. That visit found me scheduling appointments with neurologist, sports medicine folks and my regular primary care physician.

I was pretty sure this was how I was going to go out.

I blew through our insurance deductible like it was made of air. And when the dust settled, they diagnosed me with Generalized Anxiety. As in, the kind that isn’t neurotic. As in, the kind that interferes with daily life.

For me, this was new.

All the other tests came back as normal. But I realize that how I’d been dealing with 2020 (read: work seven days a week), probably wasn’t doing me any favors beyond ensuring that I could still earn an income.

So I had to slow down a little.

I had to get into bed and do nothing.

I had to rest.

And for me, that was really, really weird.

I’m not sure why I haven’t talked about the anxiety on my Instagram Story, but if you follow along there, you have seen a change. Less joy, I’ve heard from folks. You seem different, from others.

I think it’s the stigma that still crops up with mental health. I think there was a part of me that didn’t want to admit I was human and limited.

I didn’t want to acknowledge that I was struggling.

I had one episode of post-partum depression after my son was born. That was in 1999. It was both illuminating and difficult. Since then, it’s been smooth mental sailing. Until now.

If I look at 2020 as a whole, I’m shook by it all. The pandemic for starters. I lost one of my dearest friends suddenly in February. And when George Floyd was killed in the city next to the one I live in… when I opened my eyes to the injustice of what Black people have lived with and continue to live with every single day… I felt no joy knowing that I had lived my life mostly oblivious, living in my little bubble of white privilege.

There is no joy in that. There is a need to understand and learn. And change.

Social media didn’t feel like a place to be frivolous.

Maybe that is too political for folks who have come here to read this update, but if you have followed me for any inkling of time and think that I only care about crafting, you may have missed something along the way.

Then in the fall, my friend and ass-kicking life warrior Collin Kartchner passed away. This man who dedicated his life to first and foremost his family, his faith and then to helping young people across the country get off their phones and connect to real life, was suddenly not here. I was shook. And badly.

I was lucky enough to spend one night with Collin, hosting him for dinner here at my house a few years ago. That man was a force of nature. A force for good. I was struggling with understanding how life is so incredibly far out of our control. I was reminded no one is guaranteed more time here on this planet, though we often live like we do.

Again, social media was the last place I wanted to be beyond the perfunctory sharing of my creations, which do keep my business moving forward.

I also have dear friends who are really struggling right now. I have a family who is working hard to make their own lives as meaningful as possible. There are many balls to juggle and so I have found ways to dial some areas back.

For example, I am not leading a Fit class for 2021. That was a hard decision on some level and an easy one on others. Hard, because of the income loss. Easy, because I needed to pick a few areas to just hit that pause button.

Part of it, too, is when you feel something has run its course. I am nothing if not genuine with class content. I cannot phone things in to save my life. Well, maybe if my life actually depended on it, but I think you know what I mean.

I’m focusing on the joy of the current work I do, as well.

I know there are folks who are bummed that I’m not the scrapbooker that I was. That now, I only seem to make cards. I’m sorry to those who feel let down. But I didn’t expect to find such creative joy in making little canvases and filming the process to share with others.

It literally gave my business a second act and for that I am so grateful.

It gave me a second creative act. And joy.

Again, I can’t phone things in. I think when you make your living in any form of creative expression, people can see through that so quickly. If I’m not feeling the joy of scrapbooking, I can’t fake that I am. It will come around. Or not. But either way, I’m taking it one day at a time.

I’m not sure what 2021 will look like. None of us do, mind you, and I’m fully aware that a flip of the calendar is just that. It’s not some magical page-turn that wipes a slate clean.

But I hope to find new ways to tell my story. I hope to flex a writing muscle every now and then.

Middle age life is rich. It’s hard. It’s mundane. It’s scary. It’s beautiful.

In other words, it’s just life, and I’m grateful for it. Even in a year that most of us would agree has not been the best by a long shot.

Every breath of air in those lungs is a gift. I am going to connect to that, and see what shakes out.

I actually chose the word “connect” for a word to guide my 2021. It isn’t meant to relate to technology per se. And yet, here I am, sharing my story online.

And feeling incredibly vulnerable, but hitting Publish anyway.

Thanks for reading.

*I am deeply appreciative and somewhat overwhelmed at all of the comments. Thank you so much. I will likely not reply to all because typing/wrists. But please know how grateful I am.

Also a few folks have been asking about the sweatshirt. I made it. You can get one here.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Janet Genco says

    Thank you for sharing. A lot of us have some form of anxiety that has slowly developed over the past few years. Is it aging? Is it life? Is it our past and current experiences creeping up on us. I think it’s a little of all the above.

    I remember many years ago when I was in my early 30s, my husband saying to me that he is seeing a lot of his older clients in their 50s and 60s are getting nervous and anxious about life. Now, I wonder if this is really a common path for some people to go through.

    I just wanted to say that you are not alone, you have a lot online support from your followers and admirers and we love your designs and cards! Keep up the good work and take your breaks are rest as needed! I take a nap everyday either after work or in the afternoon when I’m home and it really helps me.

    Sincerely,
    Janet

  2. Lezlee says

    Great to hear from you, friend! “Warts” and all. (Hugs!) It’s Bern awhile since truly HEARING from you. This puts those pieces into place. Sorry for your losses and the challenge that was 2020. Glad all is generally PHYSICALLY well with you! (no stroke!) That’s a plus! I’m not far behind you in nest status – freshman @ college + HS junior. I keep following along, learning what lies ahead – thanks for the insight. Hang in there. I’m finding myself doing a big “pause” on life at the moment as well and internalizing. Here’s to what lies ahead – cheers!

  3. Cathy Zielske says

    Thanks, Janet. I wish I could nap! But boy, I would never sleep at night. I miss those days in my 30s when I could nap anywhere and anytime.

  5. Caroline says

    My friend who survived cancer always says everyone has a story. All of us have something that we are dealing with. Sending you a big virtual hug!! Your scrapbooking & now your cardmaking bring me joy & for that I thank you. To a better 2021!!

  6. Kelli Panique says

    Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing. It is so helpful to hear your story and to see you accepting how life changes. It reminds me to do that for myself. Much love to you. xo

  7. Debora says

    Thanks for sharing. I feel this way too towards creating: either is real or it doesn’t happen. I think that’s one of the reasons I enjoy following you so much. And as I get closer to middle age, you are such as inspiration. Thanks for sharing your mental health issues. Makes me want to look into mine.

  8. Nancy R says

    Cathy, you are genuine and I appreciate that so much. Wishing you peace, joy and good health in 2021!
    P.S. LOVE your designs 🙂

  10. Liz says

    Thank you for sharing Cathy. Sometimes we get so good at taking care of kids, business, etc that we forget to take really good care of ourselves.

  11. Diana says

    Life ebbs and flow. Go with the flow with a smile on and be grateful for the everyday little things. Change is good, it challenges us and makes us move on. Find new joys and embrace them. Consider yourself lucky that you found a new creative joy. Try art journaling those treasures in a notebook and write out your “head” thoughts. All research says “dumping” those ideas on paper, like you just did, is part of the healing. Add some color via stamping and another new outlet. May all your tomorrows be better. Many thanks for the years of design inspiration and life insights.

  12. Melodie says

    Thank you for sharing. Middle age and 2020 has caused depression to come back full force. Not to the point of self harm but enough to not care if I wake up every morning. I am so glad that you are finding a way to connect. I love your videos. They make my day whenever I watch one. Thank you for your beautiful work and for making me smile.

  13. Jayne Vaughan says

    I won’t bore you with my own story but I didn’t want to read and run. I’ve suffered with generalised anxiety disorder in the past too and know how it can affect you physically as well as mentally.
    2020 has been the toughest year for me for many reasons, not least giving birth to my 2nd child, a non-sleeper, at the start of the pandemic and having to look after her and my then 2.5 yr old alone while my husband worked. Not being able to see any family or friends all year or have any support to help with the baby/children has been super tough.
    BUT I am so glad I found cardmaking, which has been a creative outlet and a light hearted distraction that I desperately needed this year. And your cards and videos have provided many moments of joy and inspiration for me.
    So, thank you 🙂

  14. Joanne says

    Thank you for being vulnerable,Cathy, and sharing your story with us. You’ve done so much for the scrapbooking and card-making community, no need to explain yourself. Times change and so do we as people. Time to focus on YOU and your health. Sending you hugs from Boston.

  15. Allison says

    I fell in love with scrapbooking when my kids were young. But now that they’ve grown, the hobby I used to love, just isn’t the same. I’m not the same either. I had to make peace with that. But I still like to create. So I do. I started painting. I started doing embroidery. Life changes. We change. And it’s scary sometimes. And sometimes it messes with your head. It messed with mine for sure. Thank you for bringing us along on your creative journey. I hope that in 2021, and beyond, you find peace with your groove. We will all be here cheering you on, no matter what.

  16. Kristi from Cropper Hopper says

    Cathy- You are so good at doing what you do. Creating a safe space to be who we are and express ourselves. I hope you keep doing it. Thank you.

  17. Christen says

    Thank you for sharing! It made me tear up… I have struggled with anxiety in my life and can totally relate. My daughter has been dealing with a mental health crisis this year that has been debilitating – she’s on the upswing. We need more voices to make it less of a “thing”. So we can support each other.

    Love from Iowa

  18. Mrs G Bancroft says

    Dear Cathy, it’s ok to not be ok. This year has been an absolute ‘shitshow’ excuse my language I am from the UK and so bloody fed up.
    I love how honest and open you have been. I am afraid people who are bouncing and joyous in the face of every blumming awful thing going on in the world must be either on something or totally detached. Therefore from this I deduce that you are more connected than you give yourself credit for as you are feeling the same as most of us feel. If we can just all keep going for another year then I think we are going to get there. We may be a little bit tattered and frayed but we will have made it (I hope).
    We have had to shield away a lot as we have a complexly disabled son with drug resistant epilepsy. Just getting our news via the media has been very depressing at times and I must admit I have felt my anxiety soar whilst being shut off. I have managed to balance it with crafting in the wee small hours and I have loved your videos. They are skill based, easy to understand and fun. You make fun of yourself just as I do. Even though you are super talented you keep things straight and simple and are a pleasure to watch. So just keep on being you and adapt your life to what you need it to be to feed your soul as much as you can with all the things you delight in. By the way I started a journal/scrapbook this year ….I lasted 4 months as it felt same old same old news hahaha. Cards are little snippets if love that I post out to bring joy (I hope) or maybe laughter (at how bad they are). Now I have a business idea for you….why don’t you do dies for all the sentiments we really want to say….do you think SSS would stock adult expletive sentiments 😜 it could be a whole new line. Of course I would expect a commission in the form of ink or stamps hahahaha (kidding).
    Lets hope 2021 lets us all.have a little more control over our lives and the ability to connect more with those we love. I wish you all good things and never stop making cards but only when you feel up to it x Georgina aka The Knackered Crafter from Swansea UK

  28. Beth Birmingham says

    Thank you so much for sharing and continuing to be authentic and transparent. In this crazy time it’s so good to feel connected by shared experiences & emotions. I pray 2021 brings joy no matter what we face & I continue to look forward to what you choose to share. Many blessings!

  29. Jenny says

    Thanks for sharing, Cathy. You are definitely not alone. My anxiety started last year in the middle of life drama when I just pretended everything was fine and buried it until it came out in my body. Then 2020 happened. I don’t know how anyone got through this year without anxiety! Take care.

  32. Cathy Zielske says

    Love you, Kristi! And that you always sign with Kristi from Cropper Hopper. Those were the days. Didn’t we share a cab from or to the airport once??? Remember that?

  34. Deanna Heraly Bennett says

    Cathy, thanks for sharing your story, this took courage. I’ve followed you forever, we are the same age, similar backgrounds and our kiddos are the same age. Scrapbooking is hard with adult kids and our perspective has changed, I also only do cards.

    This pandemic is hard, emotions are high. Unexpectedly my mom passed away this fall from an unknown cancer diagnosis. I’m an only child, I feel like my world has shifted. I have hope we can all work through this and make choices for the future on how to live our lives and let go of anything that doesn’t bring joy. I wish you the best for 2021, stay strong, stay true to you.

  38. Ohhh Snap says

    Thank you for sharing ❤️. Anxiety is hard. Change is hard. (I myself am almost to the other side of the Mother to Crone transition, and I am finding some real joy in that). Awareness is hard. If you are in a place that you want some dark humor, I recommend Jenny Lawson’s books (though I haven’t had a chance to read the latest one yet). Maybe check out her blog (The Bloggess). Sending my awkward best to you.

  40. Julie says

    ❤️❤️ Thanks for sharing. That transition into middle age/empty nesters definitely changes life. I feel the same – what was once joy is no longer. 2020 brought me a daughter in law and both my children moved out. So just reevaluating life and what brings me joy. So my 2021 word is JOY! I appreciate you sharing and have enjoyed your journey. I can also relate to being different than I once was. It’s just trying to gain my footing on this next stage of life! ❤️

  43. Gloria says

    Cathy, thank you for letting us into your world. Your post pretty much sums up what a lot of us are struggling with. You have been a staple in my crafting world, both scrapbooking and card making. I find joy in everything you share and that is my escape from this crazy year. I’m reminded more now than ever, we are all in this together. Please know that you are loved and appreciated and I thank you for being a bright light in this crafting community.

  45. Michelle D says

    I have come to know you and many other amazing crafters due to the Covid quarantine. With that said, I don’t know the Cathy “before” but I truly appreciate who you are now. I love watching your videos, I love how real and seemingly relaxed you are. Your personality shines when you are card making and enjoying yourself. I have an amazing time smiling and laughing along with you.

    My story isn’t important to post here but I also have GA. I understand the lack of control of your thoughts and your body responses. I have been dealing with it for many years and it wasn’t until recently that I started to try to do things for myself, to help myself. It has been very eye opening to see what GA does to our mind and bodies. You are not alone in your struggles and while sharing them can be difficult and make you anxious, the relief of the release outweighs all of that.

    I am truly sorry for your loses this year. I wish you the strength, courage and knowledge you need to continue to put up a good fight.

  46. Mary Anne Fraser says

    Wow, I don’t know you personally, recently came across your wonderful videos and cards, but Cathy, for this blog post alone, I LOVE YOU! Your honesty is refreshing and I totally get what you are saying.

    Take care of yourself and thank you for your honesty. It is greatly appreciated.

  47. Kathy says

    Cathy- Mental Health needs to be in the spotlight much more than it is. Thanks for sharing your story and shining a much needed spotlight on this health crisis.

    I too have backed away from the social media black holes and have spent my time in the creative areas of these platforms. The community in such groups is the community I want to be part of.

    Take care of you! God bless.

  48. Barb W says

    2020 seems to have brought just one wake-up call after another, yet here we are, still standing at the end of the year. Sending so much warmth and love your way and wishing you a kinder, gentler 2021. xo

  49. Janice C. says

    I believe the pandemic is here to nudge us all to pause, reflect, reevaluate, and readjust our priorities. Too many of us have lost our way and become disconnected from the one thing that connects us all – divine love. My goal in 2021 is to stay present and stay connected to divine love every day, through every challenge that comes along. It won’t be easy and I will fail, but I hope to learn how to be better each time I stumble.

    So, please, follow your nudge to take time to pause and reflect, my virtual friend. With no apologies and no shame. It’s what our planet and our fellow humans need us all to do. I do hope you will continue to write. You are a gifted writer, and reading this made me realize just how much I miss reading your words and your thoughts. Best wishes for the new year!

  50. Dianne says

    One of the reasons, besides the beautiful cards and a really good giggle, I watch all your videos is because of your authenticity. It took great strength to share your story. Thank you for trusting us. Card making always feeds my creative soul, as do you.

  51. Jana Millen says

    Thank you for being vulnerable my dear friend. One of the things I admire about you the most, and the list is long, Is your ability to be real. You don’t owe any of us personal information but you help us when you share it.

    I spent A fair amount of time earlier this year with a shaking that might’ve been mistaken for the beginning of Parkinson’s. Hands, jaw, sometimes whole body. And it took a while to confirm that it was general anxiety. Anxiety and panic attacks are not new to me which is why I suspected that the circuits were just really overloaded. I don’t need to even Go through what I was anxious about because we all know what this year has been like. So you are not alone. And I’m not the least bit hesitant to talk about it because I know it can help others like what you just did. Love you my friend

  52. Leora Henkin says

    Dearest Cathy,
    Thank you ever so much for sharing yourself and your words today and always. I am glad that you are choosing the paths that work for you and bring you joy…and don’t get me wrong, I am following right along. You are bringing me joy too! I love the card videos. You led me through scrapbooking, I even took up running with your inspiration, and now we make cards. I just hope/trust that you won’t take up skydiving or something like that. And I do appreciate you sharing your political thoughts as well. This year has been HARD for so many reasons…some personal but much/most a shared sense of the CRAP in our world. I am finally hopeful for the year ahead and grateful to you for sharing yourself with me. I am sending warm (virtual) hugs your way!
    With love,
    Leora

  53. Nerdosaurus Riss says

    Girl! Yes. Yes to all of this.
    You do you. Thank you for talking about your struggles. I think that 2020 and the pandemic have forced a lot of folks to deal with their own mental health because the normal distractions were removed via the pandemic. You are strong for talking about this online. You are brave for sharing your struggles. YOU ARE HUMAN for having them.
    Keep doing what brings you joy! I adore you and think your realness and humanity are part of what makes your blog so interesting. And here’s to getting the craft world to be a bit more woke! Let’s see more stamp sets celebrating differences, LGBTQ+, equality!

    You’re a rock star and we support you.

  55. Mary Jo says

    Thank you for sharing and putting your personal story out there. It helps! I love watching your videos and Insta stories. You make me laugh and that’s a good thing. Happy 2021!

  56. Helen says

    Dear Cathy. Glad to hear you can see a path through this. Such things creep up and then wham! The body protests and eventually one hears it and makes the necessary adjustments. I’ve been reading you for a few years now and find your blog interesting, funny and real. Wishing you all the best for 2021. Be kind to you. x

  57. Holly says

    Honestly this year has just been tough. I’ve learned things about myself I am surprised at, sometimes not in a good way. I agree with your assessment re: kids being adults have their own story, my scrapbooking has changed in that regard too. I have g’kids that I scrapbook for and about, which sometimes includes the adults around me too, but not always. It’s a journey. I love your cards and I love what I still see in your scrapping…I always look forward to your posts.

  58. amy says

    Thank you for sharing. Becoming an adult takes a lot of work for us 50 somethings but I’ve always found it worth it 🙂

  59. Ruth D. says

    Most of us have had struggles or issues above the norm this year. There is comfort in knowing we are not alone and life is not what so many people push on social media. So thank you for your honesty. The phoniness portrayed by so many is exhausting to say the least. Thanks for keeping it real and my best to you.

  60. Emilu says

    Thank you for sharing!! You are and will always be one of my favorites!! My oldest left home last year. And it hit me like a ton of bricks. Now I look at the 2 I still have here, one is a senior, and it makes me feel so much anxiety! Hello, therapy!!! My stories look different. And that’s hard too. Lots to process. Thank you so much for being real. And sharing. And all the laughs and wonderful things you’ve given us over the years.

  61. Carol Hodges says

    Cathy,

    Thank you for sharing your story here. It took great courage and vulnerability. I admire that. This year has truly been hard in so many ways, not only in the world but also personally. Still mourning the loss of my Dad last year, this year piled on by taking two aunts, an uncle, and my sister’s beau. Also, my Mom is nearing the end of hers. Not saying all this to garner sympathy but to show I get how you’re feeling. It’s tough to keep a happy attitude when everything seems so heavy. What this year has shown us more than anything is that we need to be honest and genuine and take care of ourselves. You have done that and you shouldn’t have to take any flask for it. Please stay true to yourself. Take a break, reflect, relax, and do what makes your heart and souls happy! Much love and respect to you.

    Carol

  63. Mansi says

    Dear Cathy,

    Thank you for your vulnerability and your courage. I related with so many aspects of what you wrote, what you’ve been through and where you’re at in your life in this moment. 2020 has not been easy, by any stretch of the imagination, but I remind myself that I have survived it and there are many little blessings to count as a result of everything this year has (not) been.

    I am so grateful for your sharing — it validates my decision to slow things down, take a pause and be ok with not doing things that don’t give me joy anymore. Life is too short and too unpredictable. I lost a dear friend suddenly this summer…she was healthy as a peach one day, diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and dead two months later. Gone. Just like that. It hit me hard and I still can’t write or talk about it without tears in my eyes and a heavy heart.

    Much love to you as you take on 2021 with grace and patience. And please know that no matter what you do, when you share it from your heart with the authenticity we’ve all come to love about you, it will connect with other people. You aren’t alone.

    Hugs!
    Mansi.

  64. Janet Lech says

    Thanks for this, Cathy.
    Though I am barely still in my 30s, I’m trying to find the joy in everyday. Spending more time with my littles (who are 7) and husband and being grateful everyday for our health and heath of our family and also for a bit of normalcy as well all still go to school/work in-person. We are blessed.
    I’ve never admitted to myself any mental illness (except some postpartum depression) but as I get older, I KNOW it’s there and becoming more evident.
    Thank for you for your insight on George Floyd. I think many of us have been naive with our white privilege. I live in Philadelphia, and things do need to change but, this violent uprising is not the answer and it sucks that it makes me feel like a prisoner in my our home when stores close at 6pm for a curfew! It also hurts that my kids feel the anxiety and sometimes ask if people are going to come in….
    Thank you for your videos, your honestly and your sense of humor. All of us need it and I’m sure you do, too.

  65. Toni Kwaiser says

    Thank you for sharing, Cathy. This year has been a shitshow inside a dumpster fire. A lot of loss. A lot of crap happening in the world, besides the pandemic. I’ve had anxiety issues my whole life. This year hasn’t helped, that’s for sure! But we’re here. And I’m so happy that we’ve made it. That is something to celebrate, even if it doesn’t usually feel that way. You are not alone, even if it sometimes feels that way. Do what you need to do. We’ll be here, happy as hell to see you when we do! XOXO

  66. Sharon Trumble says

    Cathy, this is what I love most about following you…and I really love all your crafty stuff, so this is saying something! Thank you the sharing and for being real. It truly helps all of us stay connected as humans. Collin was an amazing person. I had the pleasure of meeting him when I attended the Spark events, and then last year he showed up in my state as the professional development speaker for all the teachers in our school district. He and his message were a gift…the true kind that we need to hear every day. And so are you. I have followed you for years and have taken your classes and I buy your stuff… but I love how you contribute to the world and will be a forever cz follower and fan. ❤️

  67. Deb says

    Hello Cathy,

    Thanks for sharing some of what is going on with you. I agree that the more open we can be about mental health issues the more folks who need it will get help. I’ve struggled with depression my whole life, and even though it’s difficult, it gave me the tools I needed to recognize when my daughter needed help with her anxiety and to teach her how to get that help when she needs it. She sees little stigma and is very open about it, so our struggles are no for nothing, right?

    Anyhow, I’m at about the same place you are in life, with my only child starting college this year. It has been harder than I thought it would be. There’s her leaving, and then the larger question of who am I now that she’s not here. As usual, I’ve spent so long getting her ready that I forgot to get myself ready.

    Of course, add to that a truly horrific year with COVID and our world turned upside-down with fear and hate, and we’re all hanging on right now. But for what it’s worth, you are connecting every time you create a video. The other day you spoke of the immense joy you feel when creating a little canvas of art with your cards, and it describes exactly how I feel about it. It’s almost ridiculous how happy making something out of paper can make me. I love that you feel the same way.

    Thanks for trusting us with your story, Cathy. We’re all out here, doing the best we can and it helps to hear others are doing the same. And thanks for sharing your talent as well. I’ve been making cards for quite a while, but I’ve learned so much about design from you, which has made this thing I love to do even more satisfying. Please continue taking such good care of yourself.

  68. Melanie Ritchie says

    I’ve always loved your posts and this one is no exception. I can relate to so much of what you’ve said. I also have generalized anxiety disorder. Frustrating when the symptoms can mimic life threatening issues. Doesn’t exactly lessen the anxiety!

    2020 has been so much of an inner journey. I’ve sat with my fingers hovering over my keyboard to post to my neglected blog but I couldn’t do it. So many reasons why.

    Anyway, I wish you peace and I think it shows great strength that you honour your needs to know what is best for you right now. That’s a good way to start a new year.

  69. Kimberly says

    My middle-aged anxiety arrived in September, 2019. It manifests itself as a giant weight on my chest, which always makes me think I’m having a heart problem, which makes me more anxious. Lather, rinse, repeat. It has been a hard, hard, hard year and we all have to do what we need to do in order to get through. Me? I’ve devoured at least 40 full sized bags of Doritos since March. (Some party-sized. It is what it is.)

    I appreciate you and your honesty, your courage, your compassion, and your design style. If my NJ life ever crosses paths with your MN life, I’ll buy you a hot beverage of your choosing!

    Cheers to 2021!

  70. Marcia says

    Cathy, I rarely respond to the folks I follow on social media. I have followed you since the early days when your littles were little. I turn 66 tomorrow and think about all the things you so eloquently spoke of above. Your authenticity has always come through your posts, work, and creativity. My therapist always points out to me when I rant about feeling anxious that my anxiety serves a purpose. It motivates me when other thoughts and feelings limit me. I have come to appreciate the yin and yang of anxiety and how it serves me and how it limits me. Thank you for your honesty. This year has been a #%}{ show for sure. I hope there is resolution and peace for you in 2021.

  71. Mary Buxbaum says

    Cathy, thanks for sharing. I bet there are lots of people who after reading that, took a deep breath and thought, “Oh, it’s not just me! I’m not alone.”. There are so many of us who are walking around and functioning, but who are dealing with anxieties that have been really exacerbated by this horrible year. I have taken refuge in creating more than ever, sending out cards to kids from church, to people who need a get-well or thinking of you card, etc. But the anxiety does catch up with me from time to time. I appreciate your approach of letting go of some things, giving yourself time to rest, etc. May we all look forward to this coming year being a vast improvement, and just taking it together one day at a time.

  72. Rose Scott-Lincourt says

    Hey Cathy,
    Thank you for sharing this and for being you. I’ve followed along since our sons were little, and now my son is in his final year at University. The life changes over the past few years have been immense and then toss 2020 into the mix and we were all quite blindsided. So just to be able to come and watch you make a card or enjoy your new nail polish colour is a bright spot in many of our lives. It created a normal moment in a year full of strange chaos. So thank you for that. I hope that you will be able to take the time and do what you need for you. Best wishes and peace and love and joy in 2021.

    Much love, Rose

  73. Bridget says

    You are us. We are you. You are not alone.
    I turned 60 this year. Coronavirus hit. A pandemic. George Floyd. All the ugly & evil & hatred poured out of people. I’m black. I have a black husband. A black son. I watched close friends write things like “he should have complied,” “ALL lives matter,” “he was a thug.” I had numbness & tingling in my left arm, shoulder & hand. Thought I was having a heart attack. It was diagnosed as a panic attack. I have general anxiety. Now, my first grandbaby is coming next month. In the middle of the pandemic. And I don’t know when I’ll be able to hold him. Oh, did I mention I’m a cardmaker…who hasn’t made a single card since my father passed 5 years ago, although I buy ALL the lovely card supplies & follow all the blogs?

    We love the happy Cathy. The sad Cathy. The anxious Cathy. You sharing your story just helped me say all the above, publicly, for the first time.

    You are us. We are you. Hang in there. We’re going to make it.

  74. CONNIE M says

    Cathy, thanks for sharing! It is a courageous post and highlights why it is imperative we remove the stigma from mental health issues. I applaud your courage! Continue to take care of yourself; this is often difficult for middle-aged women to do as we’ve spent most of our adult lives taking care of others.

    May 2021 be full of hope and bring you peace. I look forward to seeing what you create in 2021.

  75. Edith Demshar says

    Thinking of you and sending you a virtual hug. Anxiety disorder has been a large part of my life, and it’s never easy to navigate. But I can tell you that holding on to the good, the happy and the positive can get you through a lot of what is “scary”in this life. Which can be an unidentifiable “scary”. Whenever anyone asks what I am worried about…I cannot answer, but I have founded that knowing that I am loved and can give love has helped. But so does rest, relaxation, alone time and doing for just you can make a difference. So can commiserating with people who share your “disorder”. Please know that you are not alone and so many of us in this cyber world love you no matter what. Feel free to share your feelings and know our world is smaller than we think,and….we are all in this together. Hugs and love from Virginia❤️❤️❤️❤️

  76. Beth says

    I love your real life view on things and mental health and middle age are as real life as it gets. I, too, am finding myself with young adults and much more time to perseverate on things and this year has found me waking up with anxiety before the day even starts! Also, I’m not a stamper but I follow along for your commentary about all things. You’re like a friend I don’t know! Thank you for sharing!

  77. Jennifer says

    I’ve been following you for a very long time, since I took a class from you. I loved your teaching abilities, humor and how you felt real and not staged. I’m saying this because I appreciate you and your honesty and if you have to switch gears for whatever reason I support that as well as understand it. If you aren’t posting about certain things it’s okay because it might not be the time to do so and quite frankly might be none of our business. 🙂 Please keep doing what you do and adjusting as you see fit, I’ll still be here. Jen

  78. Cathy Zielske says

    I can only imagine how hard this year has been… and yep, seeing the sheer ugliness of racism pouring out from people… it’s always been here. I think one thing the year has given is a change for white folks to look at what has always been and decide what they are going to do about it, considering it’s literally our creation.

    Sending you love today. Thank you for your comment.

  79. Annette kuusinen says

    Thank you for sharing where you are right now. I’ve been following you since the Simple scrapbook days even though I don’t scrapbook any more nor do I make cards. I keep coming around for the authenticity and maybe the bee dancing. 😊 I appreciate having your voice in my world.

  80. Lisa Byers says

    Hi Cathy, I just read this on a day that I am feeling anxious as usual. I’m retired and can do whatever I want to but I lack the organizational and motivational skills I need to make me happy. I can’t seem to find what makes me excited. I have been card making and I watch all of you in your videos and I have learned so much. But there is something in my heart that’s missing. I know what it is but it’s so silly. I miss being a mom– a little boy mom. My boys are 38 and 35. My youngest tells me “But you are a Mom!”. It is not the same. If I could go back and do it all over,I would. I know a therapist would have a field day with me!! Haha!! I guess we all have our stories. I pray you found solace in 2021. Rest is very important. I do enjoy your cards but you are more important. God bless.

  81. Jenn Shurkus says

    I have followed you since the early days of blogging. I remember my excitement when I saw you dabbling in cardmaking- and you could see how happy it was making you 😊 so I am happy you have “crossed over to the dark side” I too used to scrapbook, but it doesn’t fit in my life right now. How many pages can I make about my cats!? I guess just as many as the pictures I post online 😉
    This has been such a tough year for everyone. Even those that aren’t sharing their story. Thank you for sharing yours. I hope you are finding some peace in moving forward – thinking of you

  82. Emma says

    You don’t know me from a hole in the wall but I’ve followed you since the early days of your scrapbooking and have always appreciated that you are first and foremost a human being instead of a personality. I’m glad you trusted your community enough to share this, and I hope reading through all these stories of women walking similar paths to yours gives you a sense of connection (see what I did there?) – because so many of us are somewhere in middle age and there is a floundering that seems to happen naturally, which has been supercharged in this horror show of a year. You are brilliant and talented and strong, and you are wise enough to listen to your body and mind during this time. We’re all going to be here to cheer you on and support both you and your business <3

  83. Leslie B says

    I feel very much aligned with what you shared. Hitting middle age paired with empty nest – youngest not only moved out, but to a different state – and then throw a pandemic on top of it all. It’s really a big ‘ol pile of WTF. Any one of those major things will make you pause and reflect on your life. Each of them are life altering, but altogether, they are overwhelming. I haven’t been able to really relax or stop doing things. I just feel very unsettled internally. I am sure that part of it is that I feel more aware of the world around me and the injustices that I’ve been fortunate enough to not have to deal with. I started taking Prozac earlier this year. No shame. I chose ‘connect’ as my word for 2020 and decided to give it another go for 2021 as I think it has a deeper meaning. Not sure where I am going with this other than to say thank you for sharing and you’re not alone.

  84. Rita Waid says

    Cathy,
    I have followed you for years and years. You have brought me so many laughs with your humor. I’ve spoken about you so often around our dinner table that my husband refers to you as my “imaginary friend”! All I can say is that I’m sure there are thousands of silent people out there, like me, who have appreciated your work, your humor, your showing up. Know that I care about you. Hugs from your imaginary friend.

  85. Rebecca says

    I know it sounds weird, but you’ve been a virtual scrapbook and life”mentor” to me since the early 2000s. Your kids are just a bit older than mine, so seeing and reading about them in your layouts would let me know what craziness was coming! 🙂
    I am going through some bad times at home right now, and you sharing your thoughts about your life like this helps me know I’m not alone. Thank you for being courageous! And thank you for all the laughs in your videos. They have often let me forget the crappy times for awhile and I truly appreciate that.
    You didn’t owe us an explanation, but I’m so glad you shared with us. ❤

  86. Julie B says

    Thank you for sharing. As another middle age mom, it helps to hear from others in same flailing boat. I’ve always loved your honesty and style. I’m glad you discovered your anxiety issue to help move forward. It’s all we can do, one step at a time.

  87. cheryle mcmichael says

    Oh my dear Cathy, you have no idea how many of us you are helping sharing your truth. Mental illness needs to be shared as so many of us go through our own personal journeys. I thank you for your honesty, courage, and love. Praying for you. Keep sharing as you see fit. Your work is outstanding. Stay strong and take care..

  88. Diane says

    Prayers for you Cathy. It’s difficult to explain anxiety to those that do not suffer from it. I found myself in a dark place in late May and it surprised me. By the Grace of God I believe we will get through this. Be kind to yourself. It’s easier said than done, I know. Take care, heal and be well.

  89. Sheri Kempke says

    Thanks for sharing this Cathy–I’ve been concerned about you, since I’m all about medical stuff. But I totally get it, this 2020 has totally kicked! I’m in a similar position, having retired from my 41 year career in the medical field but my health junk makes me extremely vulnerable to Covid, my family has begged me to stop and retire, which I have done. Now what? My Bujo helps a lot, I’m trying to figure out “the next”, the reward we all work to reaching but we can’t travel. For me, having a “plan” for the day, including lots of crafty time which keeps me sane and centered. Thanks for sharing with us, we’re all so vulnerable right now, we just need to trust in God, have faith and stay safe and well so we can all make it through this.

  91. Michelle says

    You are beautiful inside and out and connect has started at the end of 2020 for you. Thank you, Cathy. Your words have hit my heart deeply.

  92. Melanie Arrowood says

    I too have general anxiety and I think the worse part is it just sneaks up and slams into you sometimes for no good reason. 2020 has been one big reason. We lost my niece unexpectedly in March of this year (following a tornado where my friends lost everything, including family members). One of these days I may be able to share her story. For now it is hers and she chose not to share, I am sure for the same reasons most don’t…fear, judgement etc. Anxiety manifested into nightmares which still haven’t stopped. Then the bombing on Christmas day. But like you, I am doing the best I can. You are brave to not only be sharing this, but to be taking that step back. To take the time you need. Making big changes and decisions isn’t always easy. Especially when they affect our money lol. I am proud of you for taking care of yourself and doing what is necessary. We can live without FIT but we need you around. I chose Grateful this year. Even in the middle of the storm, we can find something to be grateful for. Something to hang on to. Something that brings us hope that tomorrow will be better. So thank you for sharing this part of you. It may be a roller coaster but there will be better days in 2021.

  93. Rosi Hernandez says

    Hi Cathy,
    Thank you for sharing I know this took courage but you are doing well and sounds like you know what you need for yourself now, so enjoy your time and 2021 because I really enjoy your talent and look forward to your videos.

  94. Diane says

    Thank you so much for sharing your anxiety with us. It helps those of us who have it feel more normal. It’s been so bad this year, I cannot make cards. I sit and stare at all my products and think, “what am I going to do make? It won’t be my best, so I just can’t make anything.” I am so grateful you found help, and that you are following that advice. Peace and hugs to you.

  95. April says

    The first thing I thought of reading your symptoms was anxiety. I too went through this and went through an MRI, a couple ER visits and multiple doctor appointments. Very scary when I was experiencing so many symptoms but at first no diagnosis. My doctor gave me a Xanax script because he just had an inkling after a while. I will never forget the first one I took, begrudgingly. It was like I could see colors and things came into focus again. It was unbelievable, like a switch was turned on. I hope your switch has been turned on and you learn to cope. It’s exhausting at times and you feel like the world is turned upside down. I wish you peace. Have patience with yourself as you try to figure out your new norm. I have always admired you for being so authentic in your Instagram stories. When so many are making their lives seem so perfect it’s refreshing to see someone own up to it not being so perfect. Sharing this story is just another reason why I follow you.

  97. Jackie Green says

    I’m so incredibly thankful and appreciative that you posted this. It seems when we see people in the media and public eye we tend to think they have a perfect life doing a joyful and passionate career. We forget they are human too. I have debilitating anxiety and sometimes you truly feel alone. Most days I wear the “happy hat” so no one suspects, but that is a hard hat to always wear. Your sense of humor is the best, but I understand the pain underneath it all. Bless you!

  98. Amy Shannon says

    Thank you for sharing. This past year has been so hard on everyone and in many ways. No advice, just a big virtual hug. You do what you need to do to get well. Seeking help for mental health is no different than taking care of physical health (in my opinion). You are one of my favorite designers. You also have gotten me obsessed with O&J polish, lol. I am relatively new to card making. I feel I have no remarkable ideas on my own. Thank you for sharing your immense talent! You make it easy for people like me to feel like we can create. I appreciate you in so many ways. Take care and hopefully 2021 will be a year of healing for us all!

  99. Cissy says

    Sending you love, light, virtual hugs, and prayers for calmness and true rest. Anxiety is new to me, though I’ve dealt with “clinical depression” in the past. I am amazed at all the ways anxiety can manifest in your body. Trying to muddle through what works for me is quite interesting. Tapping is the latest thing I’m testing and you’d really, really laugh at my attempts. Really. Loudly. Meditation was easier for me and yet one of the most difficult things to practice consistently.

    You are amazing and strong! Your transparency is appreciated and your need for healing is very much respected. Take care of yourself, Cathy.

  100. Stephanie Hokenson says

    Love to you Cathy. Life is just so damn hard right now. So so hard. Embrace what brings you joy during these times. It seems like finding joy right now is a chore. I’m glad you figured out
    What was going on with your health. Sometimes it’s not what we hoped for or expected but it’s an answer and you can find ways to work through it all with just knowing whats what. I hope your days and calm and joyful ❤️

  101. Essie says

    Cathy, Thank you for your honesty in this post. You are brave and oh how we empathize with you as we battle our own demons. I continue to love your IG posts, videos and your SSS products—I’m kind of a collector. Just keep being you—that is enough and it is wonderful. I hope that your test is restorative and I wish you peace and joy in the New Year.

  102. Jacqueline says

    Hi Cathy, thanks for the realness, it is so needed, please ase do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Our testimonies frees us and others, the Bible speaks of it. I am a living witness and can attest to others being set free by ours stories because it gave them the strength to go on or share their stories. Be blessed.

  103. Cheryl says

    Thank you for sharing. Please take care of YOU. I just lost my mom Covid 2 days ago. 2021 has got to be better!!

  105. Cathy Zielske says

    My doc ended up giving me Lexapro. 10 mg. It helps. I asked for Xanax, but they don’t give that away. Lol.

    It helped the panic feeling to go away. I’m still dealing with it, but it’s better.

  107. Mary Kay Ross says

    Wow, Cathy. So glad you shared this. As others have said, everyone has their thing and so proud of you for sharing. And….after my children got older I went straight to cards and tags and I’ve never looked back. Have a wonderful and healthy new year. We all look forward to what you have to offer.

  108. Carrie says

    Thank you for sharing! Always love to see your work and life and what you share! I’m glad you are figuring it out…or at least trying! Will be watching! Whenever you feel like sharing more! 🙂

  109. Ramona L. says

    Cathy, we are almost the same age and I have cheered you on from afar for a very long time (not in a creepy way, but a crafty way lol). When I was “cleaning” out my craft area I found one of your books from back in the day. It was really fun to look through. The reason I am still here cheering you on from afar is because you are real. Thank you for everything you’ve shared. I look forward to more. 🙂

  111. Billie says

    It is so refreshing to read your words of honesty, truth…and I’m sure, pain. I think we all have had similar struggles in this most unusual of years, but have been reluctant to drop the “forced joy” that seems to be required on social media. I feel like reading your words has released me from that obligation…and allowed me to think, feel and post what is real. I’m not sure I ever thanked you for giving me the foundation, in your FIT class of 2019, to lose 97 pounds, and breathe new life into this old body. You made a difference. You still make a difference. Everyday. Thank you. And I hope your 2021 brings you rest, peace and the chance to connect with what fills you with joy.

  112. Dara says

    Thank you for keeping it real, Cathy! We need more transparency in this world. Social media is good at making other’s lives look perfect. I’m praying you feel God’s arms wrapped around you to keep you going. We all love and need you out in card- making land. 😁. Life is not easy. My husband left me in my early 30’s and through me for a huge loop. Though he did scar me emotionally, mentally and physically, I’ve become a healthier and stronger woman. I never remarried but boy I’ve gained friends all over the country and world that I would have never met with him. That extremely tough time also made me much more empathetic and compassionate. I have no doubt I would have stayed a narcissist’s wife and only worried about keeping him happy. There are so many more people in this world that I help and love than just him. Bless you, Cathy!

  113. Pat says

    Thanks so much for your honesty. I’ve had similar struggles this year and it’s not easy but every time I hear someone share their story it helps. You’ve always been such an encouragement and inspiration to so many and I have no doubt that sharing your story will bless you abundantly. Take care…one step at a time.

  114. Jenny Lloyd says

    Sending you wishes of peace, strength and love. The turns in the road are often beyond challenging. Please know that your cards bring such joy. You are loved by those who are as yet strangers to you from far off places.

  115. Cynthia A McCool says

    Wow, Kathy! I read the entire content and all I can say is WOW! Although you say you can’t phone it in, I can’t say I ever thought that you were doing that. I share your scrapbooking comments. Just can’t seem to get “there” any more. Maybe it is because I’ve run out of places to put books. I still enjoy making and cards have been my outlet as well. As for 2021, we all hope for a better year. I especially hope that you take care of yourself. Be well, love the process and remember it’s a journey and that many of us are on it with you. Thanks for your honesty and dedication. Much appreciated.

  116. Beth Goldstein says

    Thank you so much for sharing and I know you realize you are not alone! This year, 2020, had done wonders/horrors to most of the world. My oldest daughter suffers from sever anxiety and to watch as it unfolds and not being able to really help, except for just being there, is difficult. We are here for you. Watching your videos and listening to you while you craft, really, truly, helps me from not going crazy! Please take as many breaks as you need, but also PLEASE come back.

  117. Anna Aspnes says

    Never apologize for being who you are at any given point in your life. We are not supposed to stay the same. We’re supposed to transform and live all the experiences. If we’re not learning and not growing – we’re not really living.

  119. Jennifer says

    I’m so happy that you shared your experience with anxiety. I’ve struggled for years myself and it can be difficult to explain to people. I think the more people who share their stories will only help it become more understandable and a more accepted state of being.

    I’m also so sorry that you are going through this but proud of you for getting help. Just being able to say to yourself “I have anxiety and sometimes I just can not deal” is helpful, I find.

    I don’t think 2021 is going to be magically different from 2020 but I think we can all at least look forward now and be hopeful. Happy New Year, Cathy!

  120. Cindy Knickerbocker says

    I thank you for being so honest and a bit raw. Anxiety is no joke. I love that you’re now more of a cardmaker. I, too, used to scrapbook more but have now set it aside as it doesn’t bring me joy any longer but cardmaking does. I’ve evolved. You’ve evolved. And that’s ok. It doesn’t mean we’ll never scrapbook again. But if that’s the way it ends up, then so be it. You’ve turned yourself & your business into quit the asset and are kickin’ ass. Hugs to you ❤

  121. Melissa says

    Cathy, Do you have a po box that I can write you a letter? I went to my physical in October and when my doctor asked me about mental health, I ended up in tears realizing all the compound anxiety over my regular anxieties. I hear you! Thank you for telling us what’s on your heart. If you do have a po box please email it to me. Thanks!

  124. Chanda M says

    Cathy – sending you big, warm hugs! This HAS been a dumpster fire of a year, and I also found myself dealing with a General Anxiety diagnosis at age 52 after my geographically-distant Mom had a debilitating stroke in late April and I couldn’t visit without fear of bringing COVID into her home. Therapy has helped. Taking time for myself has helped. Cardmaking has helped. Watching your videos has helped! So, please know to the core of your being that you have helped others suffering from anxiety while you have been battling the beast, too. 😊 I’m looking forward to 2021 with hope and a grateful heart — wishing you good health and joy in each day as it unfolds (for me, that will include a little time watching your crafty videos). Be well!

  125. Casey says

    I have always loved and admired your honesty! Your realness and evolution has reminded me that we all evolve through time.

    I have had GAD for about 10 years. I thought it was under control until here in 2020 it turned towards major depression. I have been seeing therapy for the first time. It has been difficult, but incredibly helpful as well. It is always empowering (and surprising) how many of us deal with these mental health issues.

    Keep being you, and keep sharing what you choose. Your fans (like me) will continue to be along for the support and the ride!

  126. Mandy Robek says

    So glad you shared and so glad you are finding ways to pause. I love connecting with you and following your journey – whatever that looks like. Keep doing the hard work to be healthy.

  127. Jane Elliott says

    Cathy, thanks for your raw honesty and sharing your struggle with all of us! We as women tend to be warriors and over look or subdue our symptoms and feelings not realizing that by sharing it helps us all. Years ago suggested by that book Simple Abundance I started a gratitude journal granted I don’t do it everyday but I think it suggested to write down either 3 or 5 things each day that you are grateful for even if it is just the air that we breathe each day. Some days that helps me get through that day! Your creativity that you share ALWAYS puts a smile on my face and creating makes me feel good about myself weather it’s scrapbooking, cardmaking or just trying a new recipe! We are all just plugging along as best we can and that is okay!

  128. Christine Miller says

    Dear Cathy,

    Thank you for your courage and transparency.

    I feel surrounded by people who have organized their entire homes, met weight loss goals, and have developed new skills. Not me. I have struggled to put one foot in front of the other while teaching both in-person and virtually in an age where every educational move is being criticized.

    I feel incredibly blessed to be healthy and to have all we need while others are suffering from sickness and want. Yet, there is anxiety. I feel guilty over my anxiety and too tired to relax.

    I pray for hope, joy, and the ability to be grateful without feeling bad about it. I also hope that the struggles of this year make me a genuinely stronger and better person.

    Thank you for the time devoted to your excellent crafty videos. I enjoy hearing you chat and experiencing your sense of humor while learning such lovely crafty tips. Teaching virtually gives a little insight into the time and expertise (which I don’t have) needed to product quality videos. Thank you for the smiles, inspiration, and snippets of fun when I didn’t have time to craft myself.

    God bless you as you seek to heal and rest. I appreciate you so much!

  129. Patty Sullivan says

    Thank you for making yourself vulnerable in the interest of others. I think your character is revealed in that act. May many blessings await you in 2021. I consider myself blessed to have found you on IG. I so enjoy your videos that include that dash of humor. May you find abundant joy ahead.

  130. Lisa Stein says

    Thank you for being genuine, and true to yourself, as always. That’s how one connects with someone else.

    Sending you love and hugs and just a moment to take pause, to reflect, and to be present. You keep being you. I’ll keep coming here for that. Cards, schmards. 😉

  131. Lynne says

    Dear Cathy,

    I have no words that will do my feelings justice. Just love. Sending so much love and understanding and gratitude for your vulnerability. ❤️

  132. Gayle F says

    As a follower of yours during the CK/SS days, and met you at CKU. I appreciate your honesty and willing to put it out there and it’s OK. 2020 has taught me that all is not perfect in the world and my life. Anxiety has been a struggle for me this year but being able to craft and escape for a little bit just makes the day a little easier.

    ps….where did you get that cute sweatshirt??

  134. Angie D Cammack says

    Gosh, Cathy, I just want to reach through this computer and hug you for a full eight seconds, and then some. I live here in Utah, and I loved Collin. Although we’ve ever met, I feel like I love you too!! Thanks for being so honest and vulnerable, and just being you!! I’m forever grateful for the very first day you started making cards!! I’ve been along for the ride since the beginning and love/own a lot of your products. They are AMAZING, just like you are.

    Here’s to a whatever 2021 brings our way, and all of us just doing the best we can!! 😁

    Sending so much love,

    Angie

  135. Audrey says

    Hi Cathy,
    I’ve followed you for so many years because I appreciate your honesty, your talent, and your authentic self. Thanks for sharing a difficult topic. I have a few years on you, so I can relate to all that you are experiencing. Kudos for the self care. It seems like everyone in my family deals with a little anxiety. For what it’s worth, I’ll share the way that I manage mine, diet, exercise, time out doors most days, meditation, and prioritizing sleep and stress (the lack of stress of course). The diet that works for me is 3 square meals with a boat load of veggies, high quality protein and fats, a little fruit, and a minimal amount of grains (whole grains only). And for me, no gluten, sugar, or flour, these three almost guarantee problems with anxiety. And sadly, only minimal alcohol (seems to just be sugar to me). Sorry for the unsolicited advice. I’m so glad you are taking care of yourself!

  136. Picnic05 says

    Cathy, thank you for the honesty and bravery—being human and transparent is not easy. This year has sucked for so many, I am trying to find the silver linings. All negativity is a drain too easy to go down. I’m here for whatever creativity you are willing to share! 👊🏻🙂

  137. Samantha says

    Thank you Cathy for once again being authentic and sharing your story.

    Your courage, will inspire many others and let them know it’s okay to talk about mental health. Your vulnerability in sharing is so incredibly powerful and we draw strength from you, as much as I hope you receive strength and love from these messages.
    Xxx

  138. Kathy Andrews says

    Cathy, I’m so so sorry for your losses; whenever you lose somebody you know or love, or both, they take a little piece of you with them. In my opinion, that isn’t a bad thing necessarily, I don’t think, because if they didn’t take that piece, big or small, then they wouldn’t have meant anything to you in the first place.
    People change; that’s life. When this craziness of 2020 started, I sincerely thought it would make people nicer and bring all peoples closer. Obviously, I was horribly wrong and the mean-ness, harm, hate, and flat out craziness made my heart hurt.
    I think you’re a brave soul for sharing this with us. You have always inspired me and I think you should be YOU, and whoever and whatever inspires you and/or changes you to explore something new or different, then that makes you a part of who you are.
    You have my support and I Pray that 2021 will bring you rainbows and sunshine, and chase away some of those clouds (but remember, without a few gray clouds and some rain, we can’t get flowers). Hugs my friend.

  139. Donna says

    Wishing you a peaceful 2021! You have brightened my life through your teaching, now it’s time to look after yourself.

  140. Heather W says

    Thanks for this and please know you are not alone. Your videos help calm some of my neurotic days. My dad has had some health issues this year and then the new norm of working from home in a pandemic. I’m glad we connected a few weeks ago regarding Crowded House. I really enjoyed our conversation. Wishing you a happy, healthy and creative 2021.

  141. Ann says

    I enjoy your card tutorials- they have taught me many things as well as showing me there are times things don’t end as you think. I have learned so much from you!

    That being said- I hope that you will take care of yourself! Please allow yourself time to heal!

  142. Denise says

    Thanks for sharing your story! Anxiety is no joke and numbness & tingling could have been so many worse things. I’m happy you got a diagnosis & that you are taking steps towards a healthier 2021! xoxo

  144. Deneen Cook says

    Thank you for always keeping it real, I appreciate you so very much. It is so hard to admit when you are feeling depressed or anxious and I am so proud of you for sharing. You are helping others see that it is ok to feel these things.
    My word for 2021 is Shine. I don’t know why this word but it just keeps popping into my head so Shine it is.

  145. Sharon Kastor says

    Blessings to you. I always throughly enjoy your card making videos both for technique and for the feeling that you are a friend I am hanging out with.

  146. Nathalie says

    Hi Cathy,
    I’m french so excuse me for my bad english.
    Thank you for sharing your story.
    I follow you on youtube and instagram and i really love the woman/human you are. Every video is a fresh air, you make me laugth, you make beautiful cards and so much more. I like the way you teach and share your knowledge. I bought my first CZ items at SSS and although the shipping charges are very expensive for me, you can’t imagine how I feel with these stamps and dies on my hands.
    I had a very bad year with many things but the worst was the lost of my so dear mommy (not covid) It seems that suddenly I’m a little girl. I would have liked to go back for a few moment in my young years and kiss and hug my mum. I’m 48, I know we can’t play it again. I digress, I’m here to send you all my kindness and love and support. I hope lovely things will knock on your door. Already look forward your next video. With love. Nathalie

  147. Patricia Wilson says

    You are so brave and am thankful for your putting your thoughts out there to us. I’m sure many of us are feelings these same things. This year has been scary. I’m old, not middle aged, and it has frightened the heck out of me. I do enjoy your cardmaking. I taught myself to make cards when I turned 67 and have had a blast doing it. I thank you for every video and stamp and die set that you design so that we can make out creations more beautiful. Happy New Year!

  148. Alicia says

    As a person diagnosed and living with generalized anxiety for well over 10 years, I support you and appreciate your honesty and bravery in writing this. In all areas of my life I try to be transparent about my issues to help break down the stereotypical thinking that still surrounds such illnesses in this world. You are an inspiration! I love the humor and creative energy you share in your videos. I am a card maker, and I find great joy all you share. Keeping you in my prayers.

  149. Jen bueck says

    Hi Cathy:
    I have followed you for years and it’s funny that through this strange thing called life have watched and learned many things and walked a similar path. I am struggling with having adult children and how to be an adult mother. My kids have actually said you are a great little kid mom but we are adults. I understand your anxiety and your struggles. Thank you for being so open and honest. If nothing else this year has open so many people to what mental issues may look like and it’s not all Sybil. Whatever happens in the bee year let’s hope the bee dance still happens. Stay well and safe. Be kind to yourself. Thank you also for having the courage to say no. It’s so important for people to know it’s okay to say. Warm wishes. Jen b

  150. Danya says

    Thank you for being brave enough to share. Your videos bring me such joy and always a good laugh! Anyone who is not shaken by the many sadnesses of 2020 is heartless. Hurting for all of the loss, unfairness and inequality is part of your human condition and a loving heart. We can change the world one person at a time, one thought at a time, one act at a time. You are doing that by being honest, caring and changing the way you look at things that you may not have even noticed before. One of the gifts 2020 has given many of us is awareness. Let’s hold onto that. Be joyful, I pray that you have faith and remember Exodus 14:14 “ The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still”. You are in my prayers Cathy, Be blessed in 2021 as you have blessed so many.

  151. Nanette says

    Cathy,
    I’m so sorry to hear that you are struggling!
    I myself suffer from anxiety, which has been heightened by the pandemic. I often feel down. That being said, your videos, as well as Gina K’s, have been highlights for me. I find your videos informative and entertaining…I really enjoy your sense of humor.
    I wish you a Happy New Year filled with good health, physically and emotionally, and happiness!
    Sincerely,
    Nanette

  152. Sandy says

    Cathy – Your work has always brought me joy! Working as a self employed individual is very hard. I’m glad to see you can give yourself grace and a chance to catch up physically and mentally. Eliminating triggers that wreck havoc on your peace of mind is a priority. As you can see, there are many of us rooting for you. Take care, Sandy

  153. Merry says

    Hi Cathy, first of all, you are so much fun! I discovered you when you started making cards. You have come a long way in a very short time. Your designs are so thoughtfully done. I love your sense of humor and your silliness.

    I have been making cards for almost 20 years and love this industry and all the creative peeps I have found a long the way, you being one of them.

    My daughter has anxiety and I watch her struggle with it everyday. She just found out her wife is pregnant, two days ago, and I know she will have a lot of anxious moments with this.

    I’ve told her that some of my card maker idols who are soooo creative and fun in their videos and you would never know it about them, but they suffer with it too. So to you I say, “you’ve got this!!” We all love ya and want you to be okay!

  154. Jan Barlow says

    I, too, just want to offer my support and encouragement. What you share with us online is, of course, totally up to you. For me, knowing someone’s stories, struggles, joys and challenges just makes what was a virtual post I’m scrolling through warm into one that draws me in because it’s made by an actual human. And that kind of vulnerability is what makes posts so much more “connected”, ironically, to my desire to follow them. You have such an endearing personality along with your own unique creative style that I find truly inspiring. And the combination of those two things makes me a devoted follower. Sharing your personal life, in short, just makes me feel more connected to you. What’s odd is that you don’t get to know much about my life, or the lives of your followers in the same way. Is that weird for you? But an attempt at that would seem VERY anxiety-provoking, lol.

    Thank you, though, Cathy, for opening up to us. I wish you and healthy and hopeful New Year!

    p.s. Since you shared, I’ll share that my word for 2021 is “intentional”. 2020 has taken me from feeling stressed and over-committed to the relaxed, blissful day to day life that I, a long-time homebody wannabe, had been praying for! And now, of course, I’ve learned that, without structure, I have a tendency towards laziness. Ha! So, hence, intentional is my focus for 2021

    Blessings!

  156. Brenda McKinley says

    When I saw your Instagram post I ran to your blog immediately. Not because I’m nosy, well, I kind of am, but because I’ve been struggling myself. Your post was heart-warming in that you’re willing to share a more private part of yourself in the hopes that it may help someone else. I too noticed you “changed” a little in your Instagram posts but figured your wrist was giving you hell & pain can cause anxiety and depression. Especially when you’re a crafter and it involves your hands! This has been a trying year. I kept saying to myself that the reason I was feeling blue but I don’t think that’s all of it. Age (just turned 56) is part of it. At least for me. I just became a grandmother in August and it feels like nearing the end-stage of the life game. Well I’m chatting way too much. Just know I’m with ya emotionally and care about you. Watch all your social media stuff because you’re funny and real. Keep it that way. 😀

  157. SueC says

    Thank you for sharing Cathy. The struggle is real and sometimes just sharing with others can lift you, can lift someone else, can help us feel the real of this thing called life. Thank you for the sweet joy of your craft that you share with us all. Blessings to you!

  158. Vickie W says

    Cathy Z you bring joy to so many. Including myself. Please take what time you need to re-connect with yourself. I for one will not be going anywhere.

    P.S. Let’s face it… 2020 just plain sucks!
    Vickie W 🦋

  159. Leslie B says

    I feel very much aligned with what you shared. Hitting middle age paired with empty nest – youngest not only moved out, but to a different state – and then throw a pandemic on top of it all. It’s really a big ‘ol pile of WTF. Any one of those major things will make you pause and reflect on your life. Each of them are life altering, but altogether, they are overwhelming. I haven’t been able to really relax or stop doing things. I just feel very unsettled internally. I am sure that part of it is that I feel more aware of the world around me and the injustices that I’ve been fortunate enough to not have to deal with. I started taking Prozac earlier this year. No shame. I chose ‘connect’ as my word for 2020 and decided to give it another go for 2021 as I think it has a deeper meaning. Not sure where I am going with this other than to say thank you for sharing and you’re not alone.

  160. Julie says

    I hope you can feel the love, sent all the way from Montana. I’ve been a BIG fan of yours for a long, long time and your post confirmed why. You are the real deal. Your authenticity is a big part of your success. Thank you for braving your vulnerability and thank you for all you give to our hobby. Best wishes to you in 2021.

  161. Kelly says

    Kathy,

    I send you light, love and hugs. I suffer with anxiety and depression. It can be crippling at times. It seems like forever when it is happening, I know. Years of therapy and finding coping skills do help. Sometimes, I need to sleep and rest too. Anxiety is mentally and physically tiring. Keep resting even if it feels weird. It does help. Prayers and hugs 🤗
    Kelly

  162. Giana says

    Oh Cathy, thank you for sharing! 2020 has been such a struggle for so many, and I am so sorry that you’re fighting this battle. The great thing is, you aren’t alone, there are many of us out here fighting the great mental health battle and winning, and so can you! Talking about it is step number one, finding your people, your support, those who will lift you up when you can’t carry yourself. Your humor and your “I’m just Cathy” attitude are what kept me coming back for more, now along with those things I will keep coming back to help lift you up in the hards time. Heaven knows you’ve done it for me plenty of times without even knowing it!

  163. Kim Kiehl says

    Thank you so much for sharing. I, too, have had a tough year and it helps knowing we are not alone. This stage of life is both empowering and terrifying. But we will support each other through it all. Sending so much love and so much gratitude for how you supported me through this year without even realizing that you were doing it. XO

  164. Robin Poupard says

    I am a new fan of yours so I haven’t noticed a change but I so much enjoy your process and presentation and look forward to the giggle I know I will get while watching you! I’m glad you opened up…I think it’s healing and it helps. These grinding months have made me feel just plain OLD. I’m sick of it and feel a little encouraged with plans to hit the reset button and start aging the other way. Keep laughing ( it helps!) and know that we all are with you!

  165. Barb says

    Thanks you for sharing your thoughts.
    I still consider you to be my favorite scrapbooker. I have both your books and still look through them.
    Life will always be a work in progress. One day at a time.
    I hope you write another book, this time about your thoughts on life in general.
    Best wishes!

  166. Betsy says

    wow, I love that you felt that it was good to share your story. I’m glad you are taking time to figure out and try to focus what you need. That is SO much more important than worrying about whether some will be disappointed that you aren’t doing what you used to. We are all human, which sometimes is viewed as a weakness when it really is such an awe-inspiring amazing thing, and we grow and evolve and shift. We need to. ESPECIALLY when we are in that middle age, as you say. (I turned 50 this year. On THE DAY that everything in my part of Ohio shut down in March. Was that an omen?? Yikes… not what I was expecting from 50, that’s for sure.) But as our kids are no longer small and we no longer have the control that we had on those things, it all shifts. I’m with you in a lot of that, and have been inspired on how you’ve tried and then loved and shifted to card making and your videos. I’m trying to figure if I keep freelancing as I have for 20+ years or if I shift or evolve that. TBD. I have a daughter with anxiety issues and beyond, and that has been a hard journey for us to figure out, and she is still working on that. I know it is hard. Some days more than others. I am very glad you found the source of your physical concerns (beyond that middle age factor :/ ) and am glad you are using therapy, and making good choices for you. One day at a time. Do for you. I truly respect and appreciate your authenticity. As I’ve commented before, I’m a long time follower and always a fan. Wishing you the best.

  167. Tammie says

    I don’t have an eloquent response to the story you’ve entrusted us with. Words don’t come easily for me. But know that I hear you. I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. I am here to support you and your business (cards are my jam). I wish you peace and all the grace you so richly deserve.

  168. Corey says

    Cathy, I don’t know you in real life but I feel like I know you because of how wonderfully you tell stories about yourself and your family through your scrapbooking. You’ve been one of my favorite designers since day 1. Yes, because of your clean lines, love of white space, and ninja design skills, but more so because of how richly you share your stories. How you’re able to so beautifully capture LIFE. Even when it’s tough. Especially when it’s tough. Thank you for continuing to do that. For being courageous. For role modeling and inspiring us. You’ve got this. You have what it takes.

  169. Laura says

    Thank you for sharing what’s going on with you. I care about you as a person and not just the funny, creative side of you. I had noticed that you were more serious this year . . . this was a year to take seriously, for many reasons. I think I might’ve missed that you had lost a close friend early in the year — heartfelt sympathy to you for your loss. Also, I never met Collin, but I grieve his loss, for his family, for the kids he will never have a chance to reach out to with his talks. I was in awe of his energy, watching him crisscross the country sharing his message that there is more to living life than staring at screens all day and that we all need human connection and eight-second hugs.

  170. Michelle Darde says

    If you ever wondered just how connected you actually are, these comments should clarify that for you. You have touched all of our lives in some way. I know anxiety and depression and I know loss (both my sister at age 53 and my husband and age 51). It’s nothing to shrug at. I lean on my gratitude for what I do have and surround myself with positive people as much as possible. Allow yourself bad days and do the things that bring you joy on the good days. Don’t worry about being judged…you are not alone.

  172. Susan says

    I don’t really have anything new to add to the wonderful messages above except, as a long time follower who has also transitioned from scrapping to card making, I get it and will continue to follow and support you no matter what you choose to do. ❤️❤️❤️

  173. Liz says

    Just finished reading (your post arrived via email). Thank you for sharing about your challenges, victories, and realities. I think you’re off to a great start with your 2021 intention and wanted to send you the biggest virtual hug you can imagine. =)

  174. Lisa Wise says

    I’ve been enjoying your videos this year. They relax me and inspire me. I am also a middle aged card maker and you really make me laugh at times!
    This has been a challenging year for me also. Perhaps I should say a year of learning as I had to learn how to connect with people from a distance. No more crops or classes. Zoom? What’s that? That’s only for work!
    I watched a lot more card making YouTube and started getting inspired. My studio became my happy place again. Mailing cards to people I was thinking about helped lift my spirits. Now I join Zoom crops and am getting more connection.
    Thank you, Cathy, for sharing your challenges and ideas. I really appreciate you. May the new year bring us all peace and understanding.

  176. Debbie Titus says

    Thank you for sharing your vulnerability. It has been a doozy of a year. Look forward to your posts on Instagram. I still covet you star shoes😳! They made me smile.

  177. Angie M says

    Cathy, thanks for sharing and being so authentic. That must have been difficult to try to convey what you have been experiencing, but you did so beautifully. Each chapter of our journeys brings new challenges. If only there was a handbook right!?! Add then there are the added challenges of a pandemic.

    Please know you are not alone. And like your shirt says, we’re doing our best. Our best to be kind. Our best to be compassionate. Our best to live in the moment. Our best to learn. Our best to connect…

    Thank you for being a genuine you, and for bringing joy through your videos. Wishing you all the best in the coming New Year.

  178. Lisa @papernummies says

    Thanks for sharing, Cathy. While we don’t know each other, you are not alone. I worked through some of the same things I thought were surely ending me. Life is interesting. It is mighty good to hear you are taking good care. Shine on. Hugs.

  179. Deborah P says

    “If I look at 2020 as a whole, I’m shook by it all.” This statement really resonated with me. The pandemic, the injustice after injustice after injustice, the election uncertainty and now the attempts to overturn the results, the divisiveness. It’s just too much. And it has been affecting me in ways I didn’t expect. So I understand this post. You are not alone.

  180. Anne Bennett says

    Thank you for being vulnerable and keeping it real. Social media can make it so tough to really connect—we follow and see the curated lives on display. That isn’t real life but it looks like what we think real life “should” be. I mute stories from all but family and IRL friends, plus a select few accounts. The real was you bring to your stories gives me the experience of connection—of knowing others feel like I do. Thank you for that gift!

    This year has been a struggle for so many of us. We all need the gift of grace. Especially when the challenges of depression and GAD tear their unwelcome heads, as mine do all too often this year. 2020 has been so… extra for our brains to comprehend. Best wishes to you from Ohio.

  181. Naomi says

    I just started to watch your videos. I’m lucky- i have a lot of episodes to go back and watch. Your comedic humor and creativity make it a fun place to come to (YT channel). You’re transparent in your skills and entertain as you teach us something that can help us make better cards. I actually don’t scrapbook so i’m glad you make cards.
    I’m sorry you’re going through this; I recently went through a similar situation this year. Had to take a huge career step backwards to put my health first. It’s an adjustment. This whole year has been an adjustment. Please put yourself first. I feel like you feel you owe your audience an explanation. While you are in the public eye (Yes, you are!!!! :)), I would say “you owe us nothing.” You have been giving all these years…..
    Anyway, i’m reading a book “Don’t sweat the small stuff” that I found at Barnes & Noble for $7! (bargain!). It has some great advice.
    Take care Cathy and thanks for what you do.

  182. Bridget says

    Thank you for sharing your story, and yes, I hope this year brings about a change. Sending love to you!

  184. Bonnie King says

    Lady, I commend you. Your authenticity has always been appealing to me, and I think you are amazing for doing what you do. Your creativity is inspiring in its own right, but so is your ability to be real and true to those of us who follow you on your journey. Thank you for trusting us enough to be vulnerable and to open up about personal things. I feel for anyone dealing with anxiety, because it manifests itself differently for everyone, and there’s no “standard” way to deal with it. It’s kind of like grief – you don’t know when it’s going to hit you, or what really triggers it, or just how strongly it’s going to affect you physically. It’s sneaky, reaching out and smacking you – or in my case, sitting on your chest – when you least expect it. And don’t get me started on the glorious hormonal changes of menopause. Forget about drugs – that hormone shit, whether your body’s just starting to pump them in adolescence, or stopping them in mid-life, is messed up. Anyway, I didn’t mean to write a book here, just wanted you to know how much you are appreciated and how many of us are rooting for you. I am not a “huggy” person in real life, but if hugs are your thing, I’m sending some virtual ones your way.
    Take care of yourself. Wishing you and your family a very blessed New Year.

  185. Briel says

    Thank you Cathy for sharing. I hope that it feels good to you, and is part of the process of moving forward. Like many others, I don’t “know” you, and yet, I feel like I do. That is because you have shared your story honestly and candidly over the years. I’m sure it hasn’t been the whole story, but it has been enough to feel like you are a friend. I cheer for you and commiserate with you. I’m a couple years behind you in age, so you have also helped guide me into middle age. All of that and some scrapbooking, design and lots of awesome cards to boot.

    The work you are doing is worth it and I hope that 2021 is the beginning of better. For you, for me, and for the world. (I have dreams.) A toast to you.

  186. Briel says

    And PS: my OLW is join. Similar, I think, to connect. It called to me and I’m just diving into what it means for me.

  188. Teresa Farrington says

    Thank you for sharing with us, for being real and honest. Life is really hard. My daughter suffers from anxiety and depression, and I have other family members that do also, and it can be very difficult. I just keep telling them to take deep breaths, take one day at a time, know that you are loved. I am sending you big wishes for a very healthy, happy, and successful 2021. I just love your videos. Thank you so much for sharing your talents with us.

  189. Vanessa Balhorn says

    For some of us, the hurdles of 2020 became speed bumps teaching us to slow down. I needed that lesson, and frankly the community of openness about anxiety to cope. I am certain that I’d have hit deeper darkness and lonelier solitude than ever before if I felt alone in my journey. But 2020 has left friends and family in rough shape in so many ways. And together there are many of us who will leverage our shared journey toward joy again. I look up that mountain ahead knowing that others will be starting up that same mountain.

  190. Stefanie McKenitt says

    Cathy you are doing just. Thank you for opening your heart. Love your transparency, your humor and your creativity. 💕🐾

  191. Xander Odell says

    Dear Cathy;

    I’m no stranger to mental health and its impact on creative expression. I struggle with it on a daily, hourly, minute-by-minute, take one more breath, basis. Cardmaking has become a much needed therapy tool and has allowed me to once again approach my first love of writing.

    Thank you for sharing. Thank you for speaking out about some of your thoughts, struggles, and the necessity of joy in our lives. Blessed be, lovely lady. I am glad you are in my life, even if only on the screen.

  192. Marika says

    First, a big hug to you! I just want to thank you for sharing your creations with the world. I found you when you found the cardmaking world and have followed you since (I even bought a couple of your stamps from Simon says stamp) your way of thinking about creating gives me words to what I do 🙂
    I look forward to what you are going to share in 2021. But firstly take care of you, I will be here 🙂

    Big hugs Marika

  193. Kathy Jo says

    Thank you for sharing.I have always loved your style; scrapbooking, card making, living life. Always being honest. Take care of yourself and do what you need to do. Wishing you peace, health and love in the new year.

  195. Judy Inukai says

    You have no idea how many lives you have touched by sharing your story. The comments here are just the tip of the iceberg. Thank you for the inspiration you provide through your CZ Designs and videos. I’m so glad I discovered your blog during this crazy year. You’ve brought a lot of hope and inspiration as well as humor.

  196. Kathryn Eddy says

    Kindred spirits are we. Thank you for being honest and sharing your journey. Mental illness has a long way to go and you are helping to take those steps. 2020 has been hard for everyone, but we seem to feel it a little more harshly. I know I have battled those demons more frequently throughout this year. I have learned (therapy :-D) that sharing the feelings (through writing or talking with that trusted human) truly helps. One foot in front of the other.
    Please know that you are greatly admired and extremely appreciated!!! Keep doing what you are doing but at your own pace, when necessary. Much love to you!

  197. Sharon Fletcher says

    Thank you for sharing your vulnerability. It’s what makes each of us unique. A loving heart can only take so much and the anxiety is your body’s way of saying, “ok, we need to pause” grateful, you listened. If you don’t listen, the signs will go from on, to blinking to neon. You don’t want that.

    Losses are hard, in my 61 years, sadly, I have experIenced many. What it has taught me is that the level of pain is in direct proportion to the love you feel. I have also discovered that the love never goes away-just settles in and fills your heart.

    Thank you for being real. Each of us is here for a reason and cross each other’s paths for many reasons. Thank you for connecting with us! I look forward to more connection in 2021. I learn something new about myself from your writing.

    In gratitude, here’s to a 2021 that lifts our hearts!

  198. Kathy Olivero says

    You are so right Patty! I so looked forward to Cathy’s video’s! Cathy is so real, down to earth and fun! Cathy. Gina K and Jennifer Mcquire saved me in 2020!
    I have been a scrapbooker for many years but now I found a new interest and after getting some supplies I am ready to get started and so looking forward to it!9

  199. Joyce D says

    Thank you for sharing (and keeping it real). I hope you can feel the virtual hugs that all of us are sending your way. While we may not admit it, we all change. We just need to keep changing together – or at least accepting the changes of those we love. Hang in there – and save your wrists! May the dawn of every new day bring you hope and peace and acceptance and strength.

  200. Deborah Freeman says

    Dear Cathy, the road of life is full of pot holes, ditches and dead end streets (just to name a few of the many obstacles). I commend your wisdom and strength to know when to make a shift to another direction. It takes great strength of character and a ton of courage to make those types of life changing decisions. I admire you and salute you! God bless you and continue to guide you.

  201. Jane says

    Oh my! Do you see the number of kind replies Cathy! We care about you no matter what you do be it scrapbooking or cards. I do both! And I have suffered with depression, anxiety and panic attacks since I was very young. The depression generally under control and panic attacks are few but that monster ANXIETY just won’t let up. I feel for you and so sorry you are going through this. Hugs coming your way! ❤️

  202. Rhonda says

    Oh Cathy, if you only knew what joy you bring to me. And how many times I wished you were my neighbor. To read about another fellow anxiety- sufferer and know that we can kick its butt by refusing to let it win us over, is so great to hear. You are the “realest” person in the Craftosphere and I’m so glad you’re not afraid to bring up mental health issues. I’ve had anxiety and panic attacks for 27 years, but through therapy and determination, I control THEM. Life is just too much fun to let it pass us by. You are such an inspiration to me and so many others. You keep doing what you’re doing and we’ll love you all the more for it

  203. Sabrina Herring says

    Cathy,

    You inspire me in so many ways. Thank you for speaking and sharing your truth this year! I am feeling many of the same things – from health struggles to seeing the world and trying to adjust and do my best not to be consumed by sadness, a Herculean feat when my world has *expectations*. Please know that you are not alone and you have my support! I don’t often reach out to people dont personally know, and hope it isn’t weird. You have become my favorite crafter to watch because you are creative, funny and REAL. I’ll be sending many wishes for the coming year to bring back joy to your world. I am grateful for the joy you bring to mine!

  204. Crystal. S. says

    Thank you. I can relate to so much of what you’ve expressed here. When I found your YouTube videos this year I immediately shared them with my Mom because you do seem very authentic and genuine. There is nothing more valuable to me than a genuine connection with others and I appreciate the good with the bad. I too learned so much this year about my privilege, some of which I recognized before but didn’t have the vocabulary to articulate what it was that I was experiencing that my friends of color were not. Many things I saw for the first time when my eyes were opened at 49 years old. It’s truly humbling and disheartening, it brings me sadness, anger, anxiety and a feeling of helplessness but this new understanding pushed me to action, action outside of my usual comfort zone. This year has been hard, but it has brought me so much too, understanding, compassion, and an opportunity to slow down and figure out what is important to me. I hope 2021 is a great year for you, your family…hell all of us. Thanks again for sharing a bit of yourself here, I appreciate you.

  205. MA Douglas says

    Most likely, you have heard it already. But, from me now, I want to tell you how uplifting your article is. It has helped me see I need to be doing more introspective work.

    God Bless you in the coming year.

  206. Carol Lokhorst says

    Hey Cathy! You may know you’re in good company in the anxiety department. When my counselor first suggested I was suffering from some mild depression and anxiety I just cried. I felt like a failure. He reassured me that I was there to find a solution and therefore was, in no way a failure. That helped me snap that stigma right in half. I have increasingly felt more comfortable talking about it, but our society still has a ways to go.

    To me, the emotions of the past 12 months have reached peaks and valleys that no one saw coming. I have told my kids (who, I think are about the same ages as yours) that there is stuff we adults have to deal with in life that we’re not always equipped to cope with. A little extra help is a good thing.

    I have found crafting to be great therapy. I have signed up for several classes this year and am fortunate to have gone on a couple of craft retreats with friends. I will be taking the SCT Crop & Create Cardmaking class in March with one of my besties. I am SO thankful for papercrafts and the wonderful people I’ve met because of it!

    Happy New Year to you and wishing you all the best!

  207. Liz says

    Always remember that you love the clean and simple card and scrapbook methods. Its that train of thought you can use to help get through this time. Just keep it simple!
    We all love your work- we will enjoy it whenever you can post it.

    It is a rough time for people! Take care of yourself first!

  208. heidig says

    As my husband would say, I am a woman of few words. So, thank you for updating us. I can relate to quite a bit of what you’ve said. I’m here for you – cards or scrapbooking – it makes no difference to me. I’m here.

  209. JoAnneRIL says

    Cathy.. You are my hero. I very much admire your transparency. I have been a fan of yours since the first time I saw your work. I was excited to see you jump into the card world. I had done so myself. I’ll be supporting you all the way.

  210. Geertje says

    Hi Cathy, I am so sorry that you are going through this. Anxiety is not an easy thing to encounter, but I am sure you will find ways to deal and work yourself back out of this. Transition with kids leaving and carving out their own life can be challenging as well. My oldest daughter dated, an Irish guy, ended up marrying him and now lives in Ireland with one child and a second one on the way. Needless to say it has given me my own hearth break. Life can be tough but most of us learn to cope and survive.

    Hope you find ways to help you with this issue. I have found vini yoga extremely helpful. There are online video so it would be easy to try out. The combination of slow and gentle movements combined with different breathing techniques are very helpful. I found it very hard to meditate, as my mind kept racing. This particular yoga was able to mellow me out to the point of falling asleep on the mat in the end of the session. I’d never thought I’d be able to do that.

    In the meantime take care of yourself, things will get better, and I have no doubt you will overcome. I have followed you for many years, love the style of your work, the way you write and your self deprecating humor.

    Take care of yourself.

  211. Laurie says

    I became a fan because of your Simple Scrapbooks, but stayed a fan because of your writing. You are so gifted. You have a voice that resonates and speaks volumes with so few words. Yes, you are a creative scrapbooker, card maker and photographer. You inspire me in so many ways. Perhaps because you are somewhat of an objective mirror of my life. Dan and I are the same age and come from big families. I lived in Minneapolis most of my life. You give voice to things I cannot articulate. And for that, I am forever grateful. I sincerely hope you keep blogging. Your words, thoughts and willingness to be vulnerable, make the world a better place. Thank you for what you do and who you are. Hoping you and your family continue to find health, peace, and happiness in 2021!

  212. Melissa says

    You keep it real and we love you for that. I’ve followed you for years and your willingness to share the scary/difficult/major suckage stuff along with the good is why I’ve continued to follow you. Your sense of humor is kickass and I always look forward to watching your latest video ’cause, you know, crafty goodness. I’m so sorry that 2020 manifested physically for you but also thankful you received a diagnosis so you know how to fight it. 2020 can kiss my ass. Let’s do this 2021 thing, girl. You have a huge, supportive army behind you. Hugs from Texas (close to your old Grapevine, TX haunt)!

  213. Dondi says

    You are loved Cathy.
    Even when you don’t feel it, it’s there.
    Carry that with you on the dark days.
    2021brings us hope for better.

  214. Lowell Elaine says

    Thank you Cathy for being authentic and willing to share your life. As one reader wrote, there isn’t much I can add to the many previous posts except one thing. I can relate to being at a point in your life when scrapbooking isn’t bring joy. I’m 75 and I will say from experience, wait until you have grandchildren. You will find that joy again (in spades). Until then, keep creating those fabulous cards, rest, breathe and connect.

  215. Val H says

    Hello, Cathy! Thank you for sharing. I have followed you for years and have appreciated your creativity and your thoughts. I always felt like you were keeping it real for your readers. Whatever your creative outlet, please know there is at least one “middle-aged” person who looks forward to your work. Looking forward to hearing from you in 2021.

  216. Krista says

    I’m sorry you’re having to deal with anxiety that is affecting your day to day living, but I am happy that you followed thru with all that took getting it diagnosed. I always enjoy your posts. I enjoy your frankness, your sense of humor, your creativity, and everything else. I appreciate you making yourself vulnerable in this post and I wish you nothing but good health, peace, and an ability to calm the anxiety when it rears it’s ugly head. All the best to you in 2021.

  217. Karen Judy says

    Thank you for sharing, Cathy. I was diagnosed with post-partum depression after my second child. I didn’t believe it at first because she was already 2 yrs old before the diagnosis. I’ve been on a low level of anti-depression meds every since. Through the whole pandemic I didn’t feel I was having any problems but once the holidays came, beginning with Thanksgiving on through Christmas, I started feeling very uncomfortable. It didn’t help that my daughter decided to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with her boyfriends family this year. I was counting on the holidays finally bringing some normalcy but that wasn’t the case either. I truly feel for what you are going through and appreciate your openness to how you have been feeling. Thanks for sharing and know that many are supporting you in prayer. Please keep your crafting videos coming as they are something fun to look forward to. Many blessings to you and wishes for much better in 2021.

  218. Joan Pilote says

    Hi Cathy, I think that you’re amazing!! I fully understand your struggle and sometimes pain, seeing as I am, somewhat, in the same boat as you. As my 79 year old Mom says, ‘you know that you’re in your sixtieth year’. To which I reply, ‘I am not!!! I only just turned 59!!’ I am only just new to card making but I dabbled in crafts all my life. My younger sister introduced me to card making a few years ago but I was too busy travelling and exploring the world….then Covid hit…with a world wide shutdown!!! My wings were clipped and I had to find something to do…or go mad!!! So card making it was!! My sister says that she’s ‘Created a Monster’!! I hear you when you say you experienced the pain of loss, of losing someone you love so dearly that it takes your ‘breathe away’. We lost our beloved, funny, strong and silent( like John Wayne) Dad just when Covid shut us down. My only child is on the other side of our country and we haven’t seen her, in person to hug, for a full year. I have been on meds for depression a few years back and understand so much more about mental health now then ever before. It has been a very hard year as you well know, but we can get through this, with the love and support from our family and friends, near and far whether they are beside us or on the other side of the world. I have never used my computer or phone so much in my life!! I enjoy you, as you are!! I accept people for who they are and encourage the differences within the human race. We would all be very boring if we were all the same. Enjoy your ‘Timeout’ and come back when and if you are ready. Take care, be safe and remember ‘Laughter is the Best Medicine’

  220. Liz says

    Love your content and grateful for all you share. I learned how to make cards from you, and for four years they have been bringing joy to my friends and family and have been a great outlet for me. Health and happiness in 2021!

  221. Vikki says

    2020 is a year different from any other that I’ve experienced. We can read about the 1918 pandemic but living during one is difficult along with social issues, endless political hype and turmoil. I moved last January to another city after 48 years in the same community. Pandemic hit and boom, no opportunities to make new friends and explore. And so it goes, not sleeping well, knees aching due to lack of movement, my main outlets of music and reading (libraries/bookstores) limited. I remind myself to take baby steps and not compare my previous years to this one. Grieving is hard. Sending hugs and encouragement.

  222. Katy Glenn says

    Praying for you, Cathy. God is the great healer. Just trust in Him. Thank you for your honesty, your creativity and your humble spirit. Blessings to you this 2021 year!

  223. Kari says

    Reading this was a privilege – that you share with your creative community honestly and from the heart is one of the things we love about you. Thank you! I think many things you mentioned are what many of us are also going through in some form. As a fellow Twin Cities person, with 2 children the same ages as yours, I really appreciate your perspective.

    As a scrapbooking fan I still enjoy your sharing your crafty life no matter what it is. You gotta do what gives you joy!

    I wish much happiness and less anxiety for you in 2021. Keep on hanging in there and sharing when you are able.

    Happy New Year!
    Kari in Hopkins

  224. Beth Hardage says

    Thank you for sharing Cathy, I know it was hard. I have dealt with anxiety and depression for a good chunk of my adult life. It’s frustrating when you know that overall you have a great life and nothing to really complain about – which is why lots of people don’t understand why you can’t just shrug it off. But those who have been there know the truth. Hang in there! I love following your work, whether it’s scrapbooking or card making!

  225. Sara says

    Cathy,

    I’m not a scrapbooker, although I’ve tried through and through to be to collect memories for my children. I’m not a card maker either…yet I found you. Through Tara-as I’m a sucker for life captured in an authentic way. I’m also a police officer in a suburb just east of you and I’ve been drowning in sorrow surrounding my chosen career. I’m also approaching middle age and have four yahoos who call me mom. Your humor, transparency and vulnerability always help me make some sense of all of this. You are a profound storyteller. And since I’m not great on IG, I always find you here. Blogging is the OG.

    And for what it’s worth-if it’s worth anything-do whatever the fuck makes you happy and healthy.

    Hugs from a fellow Minnesotan.

  226. Nicola Cooper says

    Hi Cathy,
    Having just “found you” towards the end of 2021 it was a surprise find your end of year blog today when I was hunting for your shop. I have to say I was worrying about your wrist pain. In my early 50’s I started to suffer with shoulder pain and developed insomnia. This progressed to tingly fingers in my left hand and a strange numbness in my left foot. I ignored this as ‘getting older’ and the after effects of a motorcycle crash in the 80’s. I retired early, as planned, and decided to get a Well Woman check up with my doctor. She referred me to a neurologist and long story short, we were surprised at my diagnosis of Parkinson’s (I still have no tremor). This has changed my outlook on life, as you can imagine, and 8 years on I’m 60 and am finally enjoying life being ‘me’. Pre pandemic I had an insane weekly routine of volunteer guinea pig, scientific advocate, lay grant reviewer, running a specialist exercise group and managing my Parkinson’s with diet & daily exercises. Now I’m enjoy life at a more reasonable pace. Drafting patterns for my own dresses, cross stitching & card making. There’s still time for photography, genteel cycling and Pilates but my mental health is much improved. My insomnia comes and goes but now I tune into one of your YouTube presentations and make plans for my next ‘make’ session. You are such a great presenter, and an inspiring designer, I really love your style. I hope you find a new pace to suit you, I honestly think after 50 it’s time to have some me time. I’m sure you’ll discover the better you feel the better your significant others will feel too.
    Stay healthy, and take care.
    Nicola

  227. Tamera Jones says

    Cathy, happy new year and thank you for your courage. The past 12-months have been heavy. Time to take time for what’s most important, YOU!

    Thanks for sharing the link to your sweatshirt design. Just ordered one for myself, it will be perfect, for those not so perfect all days of all day Zoom meetings for work 😉 – you should consider using some of your amazing artwork – in my Photoshop it’s a file I call, “CZ’s Word Art” – the “Adulting” ones would make great shirts! Thank you

  228. Essie says

    I wish you all best in 2021. Thank you for sharing your story. We live in diffucult times. World wide pandemic. Little social contacts. Political issues. Take care of yourself and the people close to you. We are doing our best and that is ok.

  229. Kay Gregory-Clark says

    Hi Cathy. I finally just got around to reading your blog and I lost the comment I was writing, before it was finished, so I’ll try to be brief now. I started out saying you’ve received so many comments here it seems superfluous to add another. But I have to say thank you for being such a huge influence in my creative life; we’ve been together since your early days at “Simple” magazine, when I discovered there was someone else out there who shared the same style.

    Also, I owe you an apology because I am one of those who said I wanted to see more scrapbooking from you. What I realize is that was actually a plea for myself because I was evolving and doing less traditional scrapbooking and missing it. I was discovering a new artsy digital way of memory keeping (a la Anna Aspnes) that I loved. And, making more cards! All my recent cards have been based on (or a copy of) techniques learned in your videos.

    I, too, have been through a LOT of changes in my now waning lifetime. The latest is a second round with cancer, this time metastasized breast cancer in my bones. It is teaching me to adapt, and to accept life’s fragility and to cherish each moment—each of which I now choose to spend more wisely because they are numbered.

    I’ve realized my absolute need to make art. To be creative. And to share my creations via cards to friends and my digital scrapbooking layouts with a distant cousin I found online through her heritage scrapbooking blog. So I’m combining my need for tactile creating with an online connection—the latter in not only the technological definition, but also a deeper meaning.

    I’m afraid this comment doesn’t reflect the simple style you’ve so wonderfully embraced. But sometimes it’s difficult to reflect that in words. I’ll quit now and wish you all the best and lots of joy. While 2021 got off to a horrendous start, I do have hope for the coming weeks and months. This is my hope for you also. Again, Cathy, thanks for sharing your life with us.

  230. Deirdre says

    The first part of 2020 I attended a week @ MEA in Baja Mexico never imagining how 2020 would unfold. 2020 was also the year I found out our 1st grandchild was in the oven. One son on the west coast was dealing w employment stress, another son was deployed, and the oldest finally graduated with his 1st degree. Forgot to mention that the public work I do, I meet with a lot of people and the current pandemic drastically limited my hours. We’ve lost 5 family members & 1 acquaintance to COVID. It’s not until I reread this that I think whoa that’s a lot of stuff to navigate.
    Creative pursuits have helped me keep my sanity. Period. Just to focus on something else for the moment. To not have to think & process what’s going on.
    So gratefully appreciative of your website, youtube videos, and emails. I also have 1 of your books on scrapbooking when your children were just starting elementary school.
    Much Love and HUge Hugs to you

  231. Cathy Zielske says

    Hey Kay! I am sending you a big virtual hug. Did not know about the cancer coming back. You have been part of my online community for so long! I wish you the best. xoxo

  232. Lee Fratantuno says

    Yes Kathy, Exactly! Cathy, Gina K, Jennifer, and Kathleen Werner provide beautiful art, and an escape for so many of us. Their authenticity and focus on the joy of the creative process lift my spirits. The countless You Tube videos erase my feelings of being trapped at home by a pandemic. And. above all, Cathy’s clean designs quiet my mind very zen. At the same time, her unique & quirky personality make me laugh out loud. So grateful for this rare & wonderful crafty human!!

    At 77, I recall the struggle and self searching of my 50’s and it’s a tough time of life. The pressures are very real. Reading all the comments about middle age, I can offer that it does get better. I didn’t b know how to relax until I retired. Slowing down is hard, but it turns out to be a good thing.

  233. Paula Gentry says

    You are just so wonderful. I’ve followed you since Simple Scrapbooks and you’ve made a really positive impact on my life, Cathy. Thank you!

  234. debbi says

    I just rediscovered you on YouTube … have your early books … and am also a “middle-ager”, slightly more advanced with 4 grown children and grands). This is a refreshingly honest, real, and NEEDED post. Today’s generation with the pressure to be ‘known’, ‘famous’, or connected to the whole world will have a hard time understanding that no one really has (or needs) thousands of friends – even if Facebook says we do. With a few true and genuine “know you and love you” friends we’re very rich indeed! And our minds function best when we live ‘small and close’ with real people (not screen people), quiet mind
    and content, having a few true, trustworthy, and strong connections … goals and a purpose that energize and inspire instead of draining us. Here’s to 2021 being a year of good health, full strength, and deep down contentment! “Be aware and self care” … no one can do that for you – and we’re not obligated to live out the expectations of others.

  236. Marybeth says

    So glad to see you back…small steps make big changes. I appreciate the authenticity of your story and send healing energy and positive vibes. It’s your story and it will unfold as it’s supposed to sometimes easy, sometimes messy, all parts important. Take care of you!🥰

  237. Jane Dunlap says

    Oh Cathy. I am sending you gentle, virtual hugs! I’ve dealt with Anxiety Disorder since 5th grade, and it’s never easy. But, you can learn to cope and gather those around you that help make situations a bit more comfortable and help you escape from them when necessary. It has been a very tough year! I was born in Maple Grove and my aunt still lives near Brooklyn Park, so I’ve been a worried mess about those that I love and unable to do anything to help them. Although, I’ve come from a bit of a different side of the race understanding, I’m part Anishanaabe (Chippewa), and have spent the past few years coming to understand the generational trauma that came from Indian Schools, reservations, etc. All of you in Minnesota have a piece of my heart and so much of my love. Hubby and I were going to try to come up this fall, but it’s looking like next year may be better. Ok, so as you can probably tell from my ADD post, my diagnoses have changed over the years. A bit of this, a bit of that, but anxiety is always a big part of my life. I also have a few chronic diseases that have gotten worse over the past few years, so I haven’t been so good at dealing with my anxiety when I’m putting out other medical fires. I do want to let you know that I am very open with talking about my journey, and trying to help others, so please reach out to me. (Sometimes it’s easier to talk to a “stranger” rather than a therapist or friend). I’m not the best at checking my email, but if you send me one, I’ll add you to my list thing that alerts me that you sent me one. I’ll give you my phone number too, and you can feel free to text or call me. I totally get the “Is something physically wrong, or is this my anxiety?” thing. It’s what kept me from getting diagnosed with a few major chronic illnesses for 30 years and I’m 38. I kept telling myself it was all in my head. Even though I now know that I have these issues, I still try to talk myself out of going to the Dr or ER, even if I know logically that it’s probably physical. To be honest, they are rare diseases, that aren’t easy to diagnose or test for, and have had dr’s say it was my anxiety. (Including one time a week after major surgery, when the pain suddenly increased and my surgeon told me to go to the ER, he told me I shouldn’t have ANY pain and it was my anxiety, so there’s anxiety specific to Drs that I don’t know or ERs). I REALLY hope yours has improved a bit, but remember I’m here for you, and there are other places that will help too! On a positive note, summer is heading your way! No more winter! (I live in Florida now, so I get reverse seasonal affective depression, lol, because no one wants to be outside in summer here) Now, I’m sorry for the novel, but I wanted to make sure you know I’m here for you for anything!

  238. Karen C Hedgelon says

    Blessings love and prayers for you, I can’t imagine your angst with all that our world is now. I am a 67 yr old white woman who can’t relate to our current world tragedies. I’m 2 hours from Atlanta and the killings are rising in Atlanta. This past Sunday brought 6 separate killings and many more than 6 were killed or maimed. May 2021 bring more sanity you all of us and especially for you and your family.
    I think so many people are full of anxiety and finding our joy is so important. Make one card just to feel the joy one time. It might lead to more joy!

  239. Karen C Hedgelon says

    Cathy, I’ve enjoyed your videos, plain speaking and cardmaking over this past year. You are so easy to relate to. It’s been said (I read all of your responses) that anxiety is something most folks have experienced due to COVID. Also, I can relate to the self quarantining depression. Reflection has been a large part of my time as I make cards, do housekeeping, etc. I now have PsA (Psoriatic Arthritis) which among many symptoms I’ll say only that I struggle with depression, tiredness, and pain in my tendons. It was very hard to accept that I will have this for the rest of my life. It’s been a long year for me and I reach forward in joy as much as I can now right along with you. My transition from scrapbooking to card making came at the same time as PsA. God, family, friends, you and cardmaking are among my joys. Thanks for revealing your feelings during a time of high anxiety. It helped me to read this blog and the responses. You are a brave lady for posting your story.

  240. Ginger says

    THANK YOU and BLESS YOU for your open & honest post. I can’t even begin to imagine the number of people the above post inspired & has been given hope to.
    We, that wait for the latest installment of “New Stamps, Now What” or any other Cathy Zielske video to get our fix of creativity, inspiration and humor might forget that beyond all that creativity and humor is a human being, one that is as susceptible to the trials and tribulations of life as the rest of us.
    2020 was a great year was a statement likely not said by anyone, anywhere.
    I can’t imagine anyone that doesn’t struggle from time to time with anxiety, or the effects of the baggage we’ve picked up and packed along the way on this journey called life. Lucky, rare and blessed are those that can sail through life unscathed by life events, losses and hardships.
    Again, Thank You for all your give, for all your share and for adding a bright light of humor and creativity. You ROCK Cathy Z, just keep on rockin’ – stamping – sharing & creating.

  241. Barbara E Hill says

    We are all so human. Filled with frailties, strengths, despair, and joy. Family troubles and auto immune diseases have been in my wheelhouse. Our struggles, why do folks think it’s in your head? Yes, our head helps create drama! I’ve been lucky to have a positive husband, a strong faith, and some good friends, and family. Nobody gets through this life alone, and I’m blessed to know that. Cathy, you will get through the troubling portions of your life, stronger, kinder, and more grateful. That’s my experience.

    Thank you for sharing your joy. P.S. I too was a Scrapbooker. It stopped when my mom died in 2005, because that helped her hang on to fragments of her memory.

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